"A Merry Little Ex-Mas": Pierson Fode in his underwear, two gay dads, Kurt Russell's grandson, and Harry Potter's backside

Link to the n*de dudes

It's time for the annual flood of Christmas romcoms.  They all have about the same plot: A woman with an absurdly high-profile career in the Big City is dragged kicking and screaming to a small town, where she helps save or win something and falls in love with an absurdly hot local.  Is there a run of women moving to small towns every January?

They are usually highly heteronormative, with no gay characters or maybe an assistant back in the Big City, who keeps calling to say "Get back here!  Your big presentation is coming up, and I  can't keep watering your plants!"  But I was recommended A Merry Little Ex-Mas (2025) on Netflix because  hunk du jour Pierson Fode puts out a fire in his underwear.  

So his underwear was on fire?  When Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, was asked "Do you smoke after bedroom activity?" she responded "I don't know.  I've never checked."

I reviewed Pierson's previous movie, The Wrong Paris, but deleted the post due to low pageviews.

Lengthy Prologue: An animated Kate (former Clueless girl Alicia Silverstone) tells us that 20 years ago, she graduated from college and got a job at an amazing architectural firm in the Big City (hey, that was my dream, too, before I was sidelined by the Evangelical subculture, which said that college was only for future ministers).  

She was going to change the world!  

But then Kate met med student Everett (Oliver Hudson, left, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.  He is best known for Scream Queens and for being Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell's kid).   

So she gave up her career and followed him to the small town of Winterlight, Vermont, to become a homemaker. 

Wait --the woman usually gives up the Big City for a small town, her high-pressure job for the infinite happiness of being a housewife, at the end of the Christmas romcom, not at the beginning. 

20 years later, the kids have grown up, and Kate and Everett have nothing to say to each other, so they have decided on an amicable divorce, one where they lead separate lives but stay friends.  

Scene 1: Kate and Everett in a coffee shop called Bread Zeppelin, har har, talking to the standard Black Friend -- the one who tells the romcom heroine, "Girl, forget your absurdly high profile job and find yourself a man!" 

 In this case she happens to be the mayor of Wintergreen (or whatever the name is), and she's advising Kate to keep her man: "Don't divorce!  You're making a big mistake!" 

The aging hippie couple who own the coffee shop agree: "True love is forever!  No one in a small town has ever gotten a divorce!"

"No problem, I'm moving away anyhow. I'm taking an absurdly high-profile job in the Big City."

"But small towns bring infinite happiness.  You'll be lost and miserable in the Big City."

Scene 2: Next Kate goes to her job -- selling something in a gigantic mansion-turned-store called the Mothership. Geez, that thing is bigger than Harrad's 

Her assistant April (former Sabrina the Teenage Witch Melissa Joan Hart) begs her to reconsider -- infinite happiness as a small town housewife, dreary depression in the Big City, and so on, and then asks about the mechanics of spending Christmas with an ex-husband.

"We're going to do all of the standard traditions as a family, as usual.  We won't tell anyone that we're separated until after Christmas, not even the kids."   

Suddenly Everett's Dads, an elderly mixed-race gay couple, appear with a sweet potato pie.

"Sorry, I already made one," Kate snarks.

They are played by Derek McGrath( Jerry O'Connell's mentor on My Secret Identity) and Geoffrey Owens (Super-hunk Elvin on The Cosby Show).  Both are apparently straight in real life.  It's nice to have some elderly gay guys on screen for a change, but this means there will be no other gay characters -- the rule is, only one, or one couple.  

Next to arrive is Kate's son Gabe, a high school senior currently writing college application essays.  He is played by Wilder Brooks Hudson, Oliver Hudson's kid in his screen debut (nepotism is real).

Wilder is 18 years old, shirtless a lot on his Instagram, presumably gay because he's shirtless a lot with other guys, although there are a lot of fawning articles about Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell's grandson "having a girlfriend!!!!" And contrary to what you may expect, he is not named after famous directors Billy Wilder and James Brooks.  

Are we meeting an awful lot of people really fast?

Wait -- all of Kate's Christmas guests are arriving, and bringing food. I think the Mothership is her house, not a palace turned into a store. Why did they talk about selling things out of it?

Pierson Fode putting out a fire in his underwear after the break.

I can't believe that we're still in Scene 2.  Next to arrive, the college-age daughter (ugh, Kate feverishly covers her cheeks with those sloppy  saliva-drenched kisses, with deliberate sound effects: "Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!).   

And her boyfriend Nigel (Timothy Innes), who is dressed as Harry Potter -- and pulls out a magic wand and says  "Accio Christmas magic!" I'm going home.

Turns out that Nigel works as a Harry Potter tour guide.  Where do they have Harry Potter tours in driving distance from Winterthur, Vermont? And why not take off the costume when you're not working?

Left: Innes when he's not in Harry Potter drag.  N*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Scene 3: At dinner, Kate explains the family Christmas traditions; you make your own presents instead of buying them from Amazon; you make the decorations from recycled items; and there are origami birds for writing what you are thankful for (that's Thanksgiving, you dolt!)  

In other news, the parents' pet names: Everett is Betty, and Kate is Al.  They don't explain why.

I'm nearly out of space at Minute 8, and all they've done so far is introduce everybody.  I'm fast-forwarding to the putting-out-the-fire scene.

Scenes 4-8: Everett is really into the divorce, and has already started dating a much younger woman, a sort of entitled Mean Girl (Jameela Jamil of The Good Place).  This upsets Kate, so she goes out and finds an absurdly hot guy named Chet (Pierson Fode, finally).  Absurdly hot guys always congregate in small towns at Christmastime, knowing that dozens of women will be dragged kicking and screaming from Big Cities to help them win or save things and fall in love.      

The divorced couple, their new partners, the kids, and the dads try tries to settle down to a nice Christmas.  Meanwhile, according to the reviews, Kate shrilly insults everybody and everything until they are thinking "Get thee to a Big City, and good riddance!"

The Fire: A present catches fire.  Kate's son Gabe tells everyone to go to the nearest exit, and rushes into the kitchen to grab a fire extinguisher.  Meanwhile Chet yells "Everybody back!" several times,  effectively blocking the exits, and rips off his clothes  (his underwear has little candy canes on it, har har).

He bats at the fire with his clothes, which spreads it to the tree.  Gabe rushes in and saves the day.

Nice view, but his action is ridiculous.  Why do his clothes rip off so easily?  Why would he think that fanning the fire with his clothes would help? 

After the Fire: Everett and Kate fall back in love, they dump the new guys, he promises to be more attentive to her needs, and she stays put.   I knew it wouldn't last: the Small Town must always win.

Beefcake: Just the fire-underwear scene.  If Pierson Fode is the main draw, he should at least take a shower.

Heterosexism: Of course, it's a romcom.

Gay Characters: The two dads, but they don't do much except bicker and run their stereotyped antique shop.   As far as I can tell without actually watching, Kate's son Gabe doesn't display any heterosexual interest.

The Title: There was already a Merry Ex-Mas movie, so they entitled this one after the most depressing Christmas song ever.  And in a field where every song is depressing except for "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Santa Baby," that's sayng a lot.

My Grade:  I can't grade something that I didn't watch all the way through, but Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 37%.

Left: more nepotism.  Alicia Silverstone's son Bear plays someone I fast-forwarded past.  (Gratuitous Kurt Russell bottom on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

See also: Harry Jowsey: New Zealand reality star, Boyfriend Dick Podcaster, Onlyfans nude model, "Call me gay."

Jerry O'Connell's Secret Identity

"Scream Queens" Episode 2.2: Glen Powell and John Stamos compare dicks at a sinister hospital. Also, there's a serial killer. And some butts.

"Christmas on Repeat": A "Groundhog Day" romcom with Matthew Lawrence, Peter Pan, a bodybuilder, and some cocks