Dec 16, 2017
12 Current and Future Beefcake Stars of "Freaks and Geeks"
I find it derivative of 1980s high school nerd movies, complete with sneering bullies, sadistic teachers, and The Girl walking across the room in slow motion while every guy in the class stares at her in rapture. Hetero-horniness is endemic; gay people do not exist.
And I have a lot of nit-picks:
1. It's Michigan, but always warm and sunny, even in winter.
2. Characters are introduced, then vanish, never to be seen or mentioned again.
3. The fundamentalist Christian girl crosses herself -- only Catholics do that.
4. And her church holds a dance -- fundamentalist Christians do not dance.
5. The time frames make no sense. They go trick-or-treating for hours in broad daylight. Lindsay goes to dinner at the Mean Girl's house, hours of plot time pass, and she goes home -- where her family is just sitting down to dinner. Do they eat at 9:00 pm?
Still, the characters have an endearing quality, the 1980s references give me a nostalgic glow, and there is ample beefcake.
Here are the top 12 beefcake highlights:
1. Teddy bear Ken (Seth Rogen)
3. Aspiring musician Nick (Jason Segel).
If these three sound familiar, it's because they've been starring in each others' movies for 17 years.
Plus Mean Girl Kim (Busy Phillips) and focus character Lindsay Weir (Linda Cardellini)
The Geeks: a group of underdeveloped, non-athletic Star Wars fans:
4. Tall, thin, laconic Bill (Martin Starr). He's still tall, thin, and laconic.
6. Prepubescent focus character Sam (John Francis Daley) was 18 at the time, although he could easily pass for 14. He's grown up a lot since.
More after the break.
Other Students: Bullies, jocks, or miscellaneous colleagues who don't belong to a clique:
7. Alan (Chauncey Leopardi), the bully who antagonizes the Geeks, although, as they point out, they're walking home in a group of friends, and he's all alone.
Adults: the creepy guidance counselor, various parents, teachers, and near-peers.
10. Hunky coach Ben (Thomas F. Wilson).