Like Cattle Towards Gloom: The mystery of the glowing cattle solved, sort of. WIth Nicolas Hau tree-trunking, a n*de man in my room, and unrelenting gloom

 

Link to the n*de photos 

I started watching Half-Man (2026), starring Jamie Bell as a sort-of gay guy who has a sort-of homoerotic relationship with his violence-crazy "half brother" (Richard Gadd of Baby Reindeer),  but I had forgotten the intensity of Mr. Gadd's internalized homophobia -- until the depiction of gay desire as unrelentingly dark and destructive began.  So I dropped it. What's so horrible about liking guys?  

Next, in search of light entertainment, I checked the n*de celebrity subreddit: a morose white-haired young man sitting on his bed while tree-trunking.  In another shot, he's manipulating.  

I was fascinated.  What was the context?  How could anyone be morose while doing that?

 The caption said that he was Nicolas Hau, from the French movie  Like Cattle Towards Glow (2015).   You can't move toward "glow."  It would have to be a glowing object. 

A mystery to solve!  Was it a bad translation, or an old folk saying changed to gibberish with the passage of time?

According to his IMDB biography, written by himself,  Nicolas Hau "has collaborated with international directors and continues to develop a diverse body of work across film and artistic projects, with a strong interest in character-driven and visually distinctive storytelling."

This extremely pretentious bio is matched by two acting credits on the IMDB: the glowing cattle movie and The Aspern Papers (2018), based on the novel by Henry James: An American novelist wants to get the letters that Romantic poet Jeffrey Aspern sent to his mistress, but she has them sequestered in her decaying Venetian mansion. 

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) stars. Nicolas plays the bi poet Lord Byron.

It grossed $9,700 in the U.S, and got reviews like "Awful!" "Pretentious drivel!" "Boring!"

Well, it's Henry James.  What do you expect?

Nicolas' resume also lists three theatrical credits:

Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream

Benjamin in The Graduate, the part originally played by Dustin Hoffman.

And Einar Wegener in Danish Girl.  In 1920s Copenhagen, Einar develops a female persona named Lili, and with the support of his wife, gradually acknowledges a female gender identity.  Lili was a pioneer in transgender history as the first person to undergo gender reassignment surgery.  In the 2015 movie, she was played by Eddie Redmayne (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Nowadays Nicolas is mostly a model.  His credits on Models.com include Vogue, the covers of Stylist and Beauty magazines, walking for Ferderico Curradi and Peuteray, "Bizarre Love Triangle" (behind a paywall), and whatever this is.

The samples he uploads to his Instagram mostly show him looking bored and pretentious while hugging a semi-n*de lady.  This is one of the few where he's alone, putting on a Gaucho outfit for a shoot.

The glowing cattle and the tree-trunking photo that sent me down this internet rabbit hole after the break

Bob Paris: The World's First Out Gay Bodybuilder

 I started working for Joe Weider's Muscle and Fitness in  July 1985.   Bob Paris was on the cover.

We had a lot in common: he was one year older than me, grew up in Columbus, Indiana (near where my parents live today), attended Indiana University, and escaped to the gay haven of West Hollywood.  Originally he intended to become an actor, but he soon found his way into the world of competitive bodybuilding.

He won many competitions, including Mr. Southern California in 1981, and both Mr. America and Mr. Universe in 1983.

I met him sometime in 1986 -- we never dated, but I learned that he was gay.

He came out publicly in July 1989, in an interview in Iron Man, by mentioning his lover, fellow bodybuilder (and Playgirl model) Rod Jackson, whom he had just married in a Unitarian service.

No professional bodybuilder had ever come out before.  Actually, no professional athlete in any sport had ever come out during his career.

His friends advised him to stay closeted, but he was optimistic that, with all of the gay people working in bodybuilding and all of the gay fans, there would be no problem.

But there were lots of problems. His career didn't exactly end -- he continued to compete through 1991 -- but he lost a huge amount of business, including advertising tie-ins, and extensive homophobic harassment, including death threats.

But many fellow bodybuilders and fans applauded Bob's decision to come out.  Even the rather homophobic Joe Weider put him on the cover of Muscle and Fitness three times in 1990 -- the "Sexual Response" tag near Bob's crotch wasn't an accident.

In 1991 Bob and Rod retired from bodybuilding to concentrate on being the most famous gay couple in the world.  Eventually the stress of having to be perfect all the time put a strain on their relationship, and they broke up.

Rod has been busily acting, writing, and advocating for gay rights, especially gay marriage.   He has published several books on fitness, plus fiction, poetry, and two autobiographies: Straight from the Heart: A Love Story (with Rod) and Gorilla Suit: My Adventures in Bodybuilding.

He has appeared frequently in theatrical productions in Los Angeles and elsewhere, including the Broadway musical Jubilee.

Today Bob lives on an island near Vancouver, British Columbia, with his second spouse, Brian LeFurgey.

He continues to act, write, and inspire a new generation of bodybuilders.

See also: Joe Weider: My Bodybuilder Boss

"Muscle & Fitness": Searching for the Kelvin cover, with Weatherford butt and Lesnar dick

My Date with Michael J. Fox. Plus Marcus and the Scary Bulgarian Bodybuilder.

The top ten buffed big brothers of nuclear family sitcoms, from Tony Dow to Dakota Lotus

 Nuclear family sitcoms often juxtapose shy, weird, un-athletic, intellectual, or otherwise outsider boys and their popular, athletic, muscular, and often dimwitted older brothers.  Sometimes Big Brother is deliberately cast with a bicep boy, but more often it happens organically, as little brother hits the books and big brother hits the gym.  Here are the top ten biggest, baddest, most buffed Big Brothers.

1. Wally (Tony Dow)  on Leave It to Beaver (1957-63).

2. Reese (Justin Berfield) on Malcolm in the Middle (2000-2006). Malcolm is a beset-upon genius with two older and a younger brother. Reese turned into a veritable bodybuilder with a strong gay subtext before the showrunners got scared and turned him straight.

 

3. Drew (Tequan Richmond)  on Everybody Hates Chris (2005-2009). While Chris was bad at everything and got into trouble constantly, his bigger, taller younger brothre Drew was a golden boy.  He was so beautiful that everyone, not just teenagers, dissolved into a slurry of hormones when he smiled at them.  Women only, I think: this show was extremely skittish about the g-word.

4. Axl Heck (Charlie McDermott) on The Middle (2009-2018) hung around the house in his underwear all the time.  This was supposed to be a weird quirk, not a turn-on.  They didn't know the audience very well, did they? I don't remember if he liked girls or not; I was too busy looking at his "happy trail" to pay attention to the plots. (Except for the one where the sister's friend wants to come out, but doesn't get to say the g-word.)

5. On The Goldbergs (2013-2023),  Barry (Troy Gentile), wrestler and all-around hunk, was paired with the shy intellectual boy in a gay-free 1980s.

More after the break

"A hot groin and a tricep": N*de photos of Peter Hinwood, the original Rocky Horror. With Ian McShane, Staz Nair, and Chord Overstreet

  

Link to the n*de photos

A deltoid and a bicep
A hot groin and a tricep 
Makes me --- shake.
Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...hand

Every gay man of a certain age had a coming out or "I'm not alone in the world" moment while watching  The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), a science fiction-horror pastiche with the "sweet transvestite" alien mad scientist Dr. Frank-n-Furter  unwrapping his creation, muscleman Rocky (technically named Rocky Horror).

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure

Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh

Gay men of a certain age have seen Peter Hinwood and his "hot groin" many, many times, in the midnight shows, on VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray, and streaming on Netflix every Halloween.  But you may not know that there are n*de photos of the muscle god out there.

Born in Bromley, about 10 miles south of London, in 1946, Peter Hinwood began his career as a photographer's assistant, but soon began modeling for English Boy Ltd.  By 1970 he was at the top of the industry, driving fancy cars, going on expensive vacations to Tangier, and hanging out with celebrities like director Derek Jarman and Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones.

Not just fashion -- he also appeared in the physique magazines of the closeted gay subculture of the era.  He made the cover of Man's World in March 1967.

Peter began his acting career as a muscleman, naturally, playing the God Hermes in an Italian adaption of The Odyssey (1968)

Next he played Guy in Tam Lin, an adaption of the old Scottish folksong (1970).  Also appearing were British stalwarts Ian McShane (Charlie in If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium) and Joanna Lumley (Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous), and the director was Tab Hunter's boyfriend Roddy McDowall.

In the original Rocky Horror Show performed in London (1973) and Los Angeles (1974), Rocky was played by svelte, feminine, androgynous men, but for the 1975 movie director Jim Sharman wanted a muscle god, massive and inarticulate, speaking only in grunts (his singing voice provided by Trevor White).  Peter was cast after showing his...um...porfolio.

Patsy: He wanted to show me his portfolio.

Edina: How was it?

Patsy: Fantastic!

The result: 50 years of ab-so-lute pleasure.  And more to come.

I am just seven hours old

Truly beautiful to behold

But somebody should be told

My libido hasn't been controlled

Now the only thing I've come to trust

Is an orgasmic rush of l*st

Rose tints my world

Keeps me safe from my trouble and pain

After Rocky Horror, Peter had a small part in Sebastiane (1976), Derek Jarman's gay adaption of the St. Sebastian mythos, with Leonardo Treviglio as the Christian seduced by and then martyred by the Emperor Diocletian.

Then he left acting, and, valuing his privacy, refused to participate in Rocky Horror events.  Also, he admittedly can't act, and "cringes" whenever he sees himself on film. He became an antiques dealer, along with his "partner in life and business" Christopher Gibbs.  They divided their time between London and Tangier.

More after the break.  

Pontius Gemstone and the Boy Named Stacy: What happened after the Gator Farm Massacre?

Link to the n*de photos and s*xual content

Note: This story takes place about a week after the Gator Farm Massacre in Righteous Gemstones Episode 4.8

July 7, 2025:

Stacy woke slowly, his eyes gradually adjusting to the hospital room. The monitors on his left side, the nightstand with cards and books on the right.  The window that looked out onto the parking lot, with maybe a little green beyond.  A countertop loaded down with "Get Well" balloons.  Two chairs -- wait, there was a figure sitting in one.  His eyes weren't focused yet -- who was it, his brother?

"You're not here to tell me how lucky I am, are you?  Another inch, and the bullet would have hit my aorta, and I would have bled out before the paramedics arrived?  God was watching over me, but not the 17 men that Cobb killed?"

"Hell, no."  Stacy recognized the voice...but...the guy slid his chair over to the bed with a loud screech.  His friend Pontius!  Well, not really a friend -- Stacy had seen him on tv and at the Salvation Center, of course, but they didn't really meet until he started going to the skate park last month, and they had only spoken a few times..   "I'm here to tell you to get well, so I can get back to watching you wipe out your *ss on the tail slides. "

"Har-har, big joke.  Dude, you know you're a wannabe mobber.  Just wait til I get back to that skatepark."  He hadn't realized how much he missed skating, and jamming about skating.

Pontius grabbed Stacy's free hand and pressed it against his own.  "I brought you some chocolate Turtles, 'cause you know, you're into reptiles, working at the Gator Farm, but they accidentally got eaten in the car on the way over."

"Jackass!" 

He laughed.  Stacy felt surprisingly happy to see him. His brash, no-nonsense attitude was the perfect remedy to a week of "God had his hand on you!"

"I wanna know what it was like to work for Jeffrey Dahmer.  Did Cobb like, give you body parts to feed to the gators?"

"It was weird.  I liked working at the Gator Farm. Cobb was so nice to me, always asking about my classes and the Salvation Center, and and all the time he was killing people, and he kept that guy Big Dick as a slave, like five feet from where I was mopping the floor."

"Yeah, dude, if you knew, you could have splattered the mother-f*cker!"  

"Hey, do you think he was asking so many questions because he was keeping tabs on your Grandad?"  

"Probably.  Seems like every year, some guy pops up with a grudge against my Grandad, the World Famous Eli Gemstone or whatever."  He reached up and squeezed Stacy's left shoulder.  "Does this hurt?'

"No.  I was shot in my right..."

"How about this?"  He moved his hand down to Stacy's crotch and squeezed.

"Hey, knock it off!"

"Just checking to see if your junk still works. Scoot over."  Pontius slid onto the bed next to him, so their thighs and legs were touching, and grabbed the tv remote.  "You get any p*rn on this thing?" 

"I don't think you're supposed to do that." 

"So call a nurse and complain."  

Stacy had never sat pressed against someone before, except maybe his brother when they were little.  He dated a couple of girls, back before he figured out that he was gay, but they never did any hugging, just handshakes and goodnight pecks.  He had been with two guys, but they were just hookups, don't say hello in the hallway the next day.  Was this what having a boyfriend felt like? Were they cuddling?  

Wait -- wasn't Pontius straight?

Pontius was casually clicking on the remote as if the closeness didn't bother him at all. Flustered, Stacy tried to think of something simple to talk about. "Did you know that your Grandad visits me every day?  Your brother Gideon has been by, and Kelvin.."

Uh-oh, Pontius took that as an accusation.  "I would have come before, but I've been busy.  Gideon is starting a new Christian-themed skatepark.  I'm going to be the manager"  He stopped on Spongebob Squarepants, then put down the remote and took Stacy's hand.  Their fingers interlocked.

They watched in silence for a few minutes.

"This is nice," Stacy said.

Pontius started to blush, a reddening in his neck and face.  "Yeah, well, touching a dude is good for healing, or some New Age bullshit." 

He had a thin, tight frame, small hard biceps, some cool tattoos, and the most beautiful hands.  Why had Stacy never thought of asking him out?  

Reason #1: Stacy was a straight-A student at the College of Charleston, a biology major, planning to become a herpetologist. And Pontius was kind of a screw-up.  Fun to hang out with, but no goals, no future.  Wait -- managing a Christian-themed skate park?  

Reason #2: Wasn't he straight?

"I've seen this episode," Pontius complained.  Let's find some chicks, or some dudes."  He clicked until he found a soap opera with a shirtless hunk sitting on a couch. "Awright! Check out those pecs! Man, I'd love to be working on those."

"I thought you were...you know...you like girls."

The full story, with n*de photos and ex*plicit situations, is on RB Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: "Dad Can't Know I'm Gay": An Abraham Gemstone Romance, with a special appearance from Pontius and Stacy

Jackson Tessmer: from Hebrew School to toga parties, with angst tv, Christian drama, Asa Butterfield, and n*de selfies

Pontius Gemstone, the Boy Named Stacy, and the Erotic Alphabet

Reacher, Episode 3.1: The man-mountain bonds with a gay college boy with a drug dealer dad, and there are plot twists and d*cks

Nick Vardakas: Sex toy guy, lucky f*king dude, Atari spirit, Dillon's boyfriend, IT major. A lot of d*ck pics, but is he gay?

Fabrizio Guido: The vampire hunter's gay bestie becomes a juggalo, poses n*de, joins a basketball franchise. With Drew Tarver

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Black as Night (2021) stars Asiha Cooper as a teenager girl in post-Hurricane Katrina New Orleans, who discovers that vampires are targeting the homeless population, including her own mother. She and her crew, crush Chris (Mason Beauchamp), gay bff Pedro (Fabrizio Guido), , and the local It-Girl, become vampire hunters.  

Director Mariette Lee Go tried to break away from the gay bestie stereotype with Pedro, and give him motives and goals of his own: he has to choose between going to a prestigious college and staying home to take care of his family.  Of course, he vampirizes at the end, in a bury-your-gays cliche, but you can't have everything.

Fabrizio Guido is a Short Guy with a nice physique.  And he's playing a gay character in his first major role?  I wonder if he's gay in real life.

He weas born in Los Angeles in 1999, the son of actress Jacqueline Calderon-Guido, who put him to work almost immediately, in the shorts Juan the Brave (2004), Transa-Action (2005), The Monster (2008), and 116 Seconds (2009).  

His first movie role was in World War Z (2013) as Tomas, a young boy whose parents die in the zombie Apocalypse.  He joins Brad Pitt's family as they flee from zombie-infested Los Angeles, and ends up on the rescue ship.  He was named "best scene stealer" by the other cast members.

Then came Welcome to the Family (2013), about a Hispanic boy who marries an Anglo girl, each with bickering family members. Fabrizio played Demetrio, the boy's brother.  Ten episodes were filmed, but the series was yanked after three due to the terrible reviews.

Family (2018) is on the list of Fabrizio's "known for" roles: An "emotionally stunted aunt" tries to bond with her teenage niece, who wants to run away and become a juggalo.  I thought that juggalo was a misspelling of gigolo, a male prostitute, but it actually means a groupie of the band Insane Clown Posse. So why the generic name that tells you nothing of what the movie is about? Why not Juggalo?

Niece Maddie meets juggalo Dennis (Fabrizio), and brings him home.  He explains that the juggalos are a "supportive community of misfits," and Auntie Kate allows him to stay.  So, are they friends, or dating?  The wikipedia synopsis doesn't clarify.

Mr. Iglesias (2019-22), starring comedian Gabriel Iglesias, was a modern day Welcome Back Carter, with Fabrizio in 22 episodes as a hetero-horny student.

 Meanwhile, Fabrizio appeared in some film shorts.  I don't see a lot of gay content in them.

He wrote and directed Dog Days (2018): Brandon (Nick Alvarez) is invited to a party by a "potential love interest."  The description doesn't specify, so it could be a guy, right?  Wrong, it's a girl.

College Town (2019): The "hottest girl in town" agrees to hook up with John (Michael Shackett) if he can get some weed.

More after the break.  

Andrew Stevens: Teen idol gave us queer codes in "The Fury," took off his shirt a lot, but never played a gay guy again

Nazarenes weren't allowed to go to movie theaters, so during my senior year in high school, I began telling my parents I was heading to the library or a friend's house, and sneaking out to the Showcase Cinemas to see The Chicken Chronicles (Steve Guttenberg, sigh), Close Encounters of the Third Kind, High Anxiety, Coma, The End, Big Wednesday, and in March 1978, The Fury:  Robin (Andrew Stevens, top), who has psychic powers, is kidnapped, so his Dad, former CIA agent Peter (Kirk Douglas, bottom) enlists a girl with psychic powers to find him.  

Everyone is heterosexual, and the guys both die at the end, which would be a major red flag today, but as a high schooler a few months away from recognizing that I was gay, I found many queer codes and a lot of beefcake. 

I had some idea that Andrew became a member of the Brat Pack in the 1980s, starred in some buddy-bonding angst dramas, and was called a "f*g" by Molly Ringwald (who would go on to play a pro-gay Mom in Stranger Things).  But that turns out to be Andrew McCarthy.  I haven't seen Andrew Stevens in anything else.  Here's why.

Born in 1955 in Memphis, Andrew started his career as a cute teenager, subtly muscular, with shaggy hair and a goofy smile, for "heartwarming" roles as cute or wounded kids in tv series like Apple's Way (1974), Police Story (1975), and Shazam! (1976).  I didn't like heartwarming.

In the 1980s, hair straightened, muscles bulging, tanned, Andrew began playing  suave playboys or con artists in the tv soaps Emerald Point N.A.S , Dallas, and Hotel.

Soap operas?  No way!



















More after the break

Tristan Borders pushed up the queer codes as Young Kelvin Gemstone, but what about his other roles? With twink bottom and Cleveland c*ck

   

Link to the n*de photos

For a long time, I've been wanting to do a profile of Tristan Borders, who played the young Kelvin in the flashback episodes of The Righteous Gemstones, and gave us so many intentional and unintentional clues to Kelvin's identity -- more than Adam Devine himself, back when most fans were still yelling "He's not gay, just sensitive!"  

In the Season 2 flashback to 1993, four year old Kelvin has two dolls in his bedroom, and  a Muscle and Fitness cover taped to his wall.

In the Season 3 Interlude, a flashback to the summer of 2000, eleven-year old Kelvin complains that his sister forces him to come to the mall with her, to act as a distraction while she shoplifts.  She also criticizes him for having "a tiny little doll p*cker," starting an obsession with his size that will bedevil Kelvin through his life and, in 2023, make him reluctant to begin bedroom activities with his boyfriend Keefe.

Young Kelvin also wears a t-shirt with hibiscus flowers in the colors of the Pride Flag.

In the Season 4 Interlude, set in the summer of 2003, Young Kelvin is obviously gay, with a number of feminine mannerisms and an interest in teen idols.  He is a snob and a jerk, constantly denigrating his siblings and their friend Corey.  In a pivotal scene, he is alone in the house when Cobb breaks in to destroy things and steal the family heirloom Gold Bible.

Tristan doesn't have a social media presence, and there's no biographical information online, so all I can use for a profile are his other roles on the iMDB.

His career begins with two episodes of American Rust (2021), with a rust-belt police chief investigating the murder of flawed, troubled cop Pete Novick (Jim Frost, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  Tristan plays Pete's son.

Then two episodes of The First Lady (2022), about three first ladies: Eleanor Roosevelt, Betty Ford, and Michelle Obama. Tristan plays John Roosevelt (1916-91), young son of Franklin (queer actor Charlie Plummer) and Eleanor (gay in real life).

More after the break

Top 18 civilian bodybuilders and musclemen, from the Scharf Brothers to the "beautiful boyfriend" from Bühl

Link to the n*de photos

I usually profile actors in television and movies, but sometimes a civilian -- a non-actor -- is too hot to pass up.  They may be bodybuilders, musicians, sports figures, reality tv stars, or just muscular guys with cute faces and impressive c*cks.  If they're not celebrities, I use a pseudonym to protect their privacy.

Here are my 18 favorites to date:

1. Manny and Gavin Scharf: Gay-coded Wisconsin brothers, a wrestler and a bodybuilder, aren't into girls, until.... With some d*ck pics

2. Joe Gaydar breaks unwritten gym rules, some involving p*nises and b*ndage

3. Ilia Bolshaya: Collegiate swimmer with a 3.97 GPA and a huge sausage. With swimmers and why gay men don't major in science

5. Kobey Pinnell: Bondi Beach bodybuilder is into shoes, but is he also into dudes?

6. Helmut Riedmeier, German bodybuilder of the 1960s generation who didn't mind posing n(*e

6. Dane G.  His 365 day Lake Tahoe Challenge. With Scott Gaffney, Danish d*cks, and guys at Notre Dame

7. Jack Barlow: Real Housewives teen, Mormon missionary, hair-care guru, gay tease. With n*de photos.  Reality shows don't count, right?

8. Joe Canoli's canoli: frontal nudity and erotic promise from the groovy 1960s

More after the break.  

Gilligan's Island: Gilligan and the Skipper, a gay couple? The Professor asexual? Ginger a drag queen?

Gilligan's Island (1964-67), the tale of seven nitwits who set out from Honolulu for a “three hour tour” and end up stranded on a desert island,  has become iconic for its ineptness and naiveté. They pull endless supplies from nowhere, build anything they need (except a boat) from bamboo and coconuts, hear endless radio news stories about their situation, and get a steady stream of visitors who promise rescue, but betray them or forget the island's location.  Even Santa Claus dropped by to offer holiday cheer.

But  actually, it was no more inept or naive than other 1960s sitcoms. The Beverly Hillbillies lived as multi-millionaires in Beverly Hills for many years, yet continued to wear hillbilly outfits, eat possum stew, and refer to the swimming pool as a "cement pond." 

In case Gilligan's Island and its endless reruns came  before your time, the seven castaways are, according to the theme song:

Gilligan, a "mighty sailing man" (in red), and the Skipper, "brave and sure" (in blue).  Color tv was brand new, so they used bright primary colors.

They became partners during the War, presumably the Korean War,  and now ran an island tour service out of Honolulu.  

Five passengers sign on for the "fateful trip" that was supposed to last for three hours,  "lunch provided."

3-4. Mr. and Mrs. Howell, "the millionaire and his wife," who for some reason brought suitcases full of money on the tour.

5. Ginger (the redhead), a glamorous Marilyn Monroe-style "movie star," who has a huge number of acting credit in very bad movies.

"And the rest," until the rest complained and got a mention in the theme song.

6. "Mary Anne," a wholesome Kansas farmgirl.

7. "The Professor,"  who has a B.A. from USC, a B.S. from UCLA, an M.A. from SMU, and a Ph. D from TCU, and is an expert on the languages and cultures of the "savage" natives of the area, yet works as a high school science teacher.

Straight Boomer boys had endless debates about which they would prefer to date, Ginger or Mary Anne.  But there was a lot for gay boys to like:

1. Beefcake First mate Gillian (Bob Denver, below) was slim, smooth, and occasionally shirtless.

Lithe, hard bodied Denny Miller, a 1959 Tarzan (top photo, appeared twice, as a "jungle man" and as as a surfer who rode a wild wave all the way in from Honolulu.

 In February 1965, Kurt Russell appeared as a jungle boy, wearing only a loincloth (he counts as beefcake when you're five years old)

Even the Professor took off his shirt a couple of times.

2. Utter lack of heterosexual interest.

There was lots of heterosexism, of course.  When the Professor wonders why headhunters would abduct only the girls, Gilligan quips “Because they’re boys!”  

When Mrs. Howell becomes the recipient of anonymous love letters, she and her husband interrogate Gilligan, the Skipper, and the Professor.  They all claim innocence.  "But that's impossible!" she exclaims.  "We've asked everyone on the island!" Ginger and Mary Anne are omitted.

More after the break