A Gay "Haunting on Fraternity Row"

David DeCouteau used to direct movies in which hunks in their underwear...well, there are hunks in their underwear, and either no girls or a couple of fully-clothed girls in the background.  In other words, movies for gay men.  He swore up and down that he was not aiming at a gay audience, that he hadn't even been aware that gay men existed until someone told him.  1 1/2 hours of guys in their underwear just made artistic sense.

Brant Sersen continues the tradition with Haunting on Fraternity Row (2018), which is available on Amazon Prime, Vudu, Netflix, and probably everywhere else.

It's mostly "found footage," like The Blair Witch Project,  about a demon targeting a party at a frat house, possessing people and eating their eyes.

But contrary to stereotypes, this is the nicest fraternity you'd ever hope to see.  They have pledges of various sizes and shapes, not just hunks, and they require only mild hazing: wear dresses and film the festivities.  Nor do they leer at, sexually assault, or make nasty jokes about the girls.

Contrary to what one might think at a frat party, there are virtually no discussions of "getting laid," and only two sex scenes (both cut short when the demon intervenes).

And there are  are beaucoup guys hanging out in their underwear or in shorts, or taking their shirts off, while the girls are fully clothed  (the semi-naked girl on the poster seems to be a misdirection).

Although there are no identifiably gay characters, this is obviously a movie designed for the gay male gaze.

The hunks are:

1. Jayson Blair (top photo) as Tanner.

2. Ashton Moio (the one with the biceps) as Dougie.

3. Eduardo Losan (the one with the bulge) as Lube.

4. Chester Rushing as Drew.  I don't know who the cruisy friend is.

5. Cameron Mouléne (the one with the chest) as Grant, whose girlfriend keeps trying to pressure into sex.

6.  Jacob Artist (the one with the pumpkin) as Jason.

7. Breon Pugh as Wiggles, the fat guy who keeps his shirt on.

8. Hawn Tran as Nascar, the skinny guy who keeps his shirt on. Are you noticing a pattern here?

9. Blaze Burkenstock (the one inviting you to read his shorts) as a miscellaneous fratboy.

10.  I don't know who this is.

The New "Are You Afraid of the Dark": Are They Afraid of Beefcake?

Everything old is new again on Nickelodeon.  The venerable children's network is brushing off several long-lost shows and giving them a 2019 treatment:
All That
That's So Raven
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

And most recently, Are You Afraid of the Dark, the anthology series that aired from 1990 to 1996: in each episode, the Midnight Society gathers to hear a ghost or paranormal story recited by a member, and acted out for us. 

I didn't care for it.  We learn almost nothing about the lives of the Midnight Society members.  They gather, exchange a few words, tell the story, and "the end."  It would have been much more effective if the stories had some connection to their real-life problems. 

But I had to admit, the actors were photogenic:  intellectual group leader Ross Hull, bad boy Jason Alisharan, nerd Nathaniel Moreau, and my personal favorite, the massively gorgeous Daniel DeSanto.

The reboot, a three part miniseries premiering in October 2019, breaks the cardinal rule of the old series:  the paranormal events are just stories, not real. 

Now they are.

New girl on the block Rachel (Lyliana Wray),who is having mysterious, disturbing dreams, shows up at school, where both the geek Gavin (Sam Ashe Arnold, top photo) and the geekier Graham (Jeremy Ray Taylor, left) hit on her. 

They invite her to a meeting of the Midnight Society, which apparently has only four members.  The other two are girls, Akiko and Louise.

Rachel tells her story, about a sinister carnival that rolls into town, and a manager, Mr. Tophat (Rafael Casal), who steals kids' souls (apparently she's been reading Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes).

To their surprise, a sinister carnival does roll into town, and the Midnight Society must fight real paranormal peril.

As you may have noticed, the miniseries is rather beefcake-deficient:  only two boys, neither likely teen idol material.

I did find Brandon Routh down the cast list as "Mysterious Handsome Man."

So who's looking at his face?

And since personal lives of the original Midnight Society were absent, it was easy to read them as gay.  Not here: the two male Midnight Society boys are aggressively heterosexual.

I give it a C-.

See also: Are You Afraid of the Dark?>

Eerie, Indiana: Omri Katz, Paranormal Investigator

Israeli actor Omri Katz played J.R.'s son on Dallas (seen here hugging his gay-vague nanny, played by Christopher Atkins), and a scientist's son zapped into a world of sentient dinosaurs in Adventures in Dinosaur City.  But he's probably most famous for the gay-vague classic Eerie Indiana (1991-92).

It lasted for only 17 episodes (plus an eight-episode spin-off starring Daniel Clark), but it is still remembered and discussed by fans.  One of the first of the teen-paranormal series of the 1990s, it drew on Twin Peaks (1990-1991) to depict a small town with an overarching mystery to be solved, with minor mysteries along the way.

Marshall Teller (Omri) moves with his parents to a small town in Indiana where weird things happen.  Tupperware containers keep you alive forever. Time stops.  ATMs aren't what they seem. There's a tornado every year on the same date.

A world full of bizarre events, where everyone has a secret agenda and nothing is what it seems?  That's the life of every kid, of course, but it also reflects the journey of gay boys as they try to negotiate the mine-field of adult heterosexism, the constant "What girl do you like?" and "You'll meet a girl someday."

Marshall pairs up with local kid Simon Holmes (11-year old Justin Shenkarow) to investigate. They are often assisted by mysterious grayhaired boy, who has no name and no memory of his past, but calls himself Dash X (16-year old Jason Marsden, right).  But more often he has a hidden agenda of his own.

There were few girl-crazy plotlines -- neither Simon nor Dash X so much as glances at a girl -- but there's lots of captures and daring rescues.  However, Marshall remains just a close friend with Simon, while he is quite obviously attracted to the infuriating, mysterious, powerful yet somehow vulnerable Dash X.  If they had more time, the two might have fallen in love.  Unfortunately, the series ended before they could unravel the mystery or develop the homoromance, leaving viewers with more questions than answers

After the excellent "things are not what they seem" Pleasantville (1993), the Halloween comedy Hocus Pocus (1993), and a tv movie, Omri Katz moved to Israel, where he appeared occasionally in short films (which sometimes feature nudity), including the gay-themed Journey into Night (2002).  He now works as a hairdresser in Los Angeles.

Justin Shenkarow remains an actor and producer with credits in Home Improvement, Picket Fences, W.I.T.C.H., and Aliens in America.  

The Top 10 Nowhere Boys

Nowhere Boys, on Amazon Prime and Vudu, is an Australian teen supernatural drama about four boys who get lost in the woods on a school field trip,  When they return, everything is different.  A disabled brother can walk.  A single mom is married.  One boy doesn't seem to exist at all.

With the help of various allies and love interests, they figure out that they have somehow become lost in a parallel world.  It sounds like a science fiction premise, but it is actually supernatural.  Getting home requires magical spells and fighting demons.

The four boys are:
1. Popular it-boy Sam (Rahart Adams).

2. Goth Felix (Dougie Baldwin)

3. Nerd Andy (Joel Lok).  I don't see any gay subtexts, but at least he doesn't get a girlfriend.

4. Jock Jake (Matt Testro)

In Season 2 (2013-14), the boys discover that they can now control the four elements (air, water, fire, earth).  Now they must travel between the two parallel worlds.

5. For instance, Jake's father Gary (Damian Richardson) is a cop in the alternate world.  Somehow the Mega-Demon arranges for them to encounter each other, but if they make physical contact, the world will explode.

In Seasons 3 and 4, at least five years has passed -- one of the students is now a teacher, and the four original boys are the subject of a stage play.

This time several kids and their principal are zapped into Empty World, where all of the people have vanished (along with most of the food).  The main group consists of:

6. Luke (Kamil Ellis), a science fiction nerd who keeps saying  "This is just like that episode of Next Generation where Dr. Crusher..."  He doesn't get a girlfriend.

By the way, Kamil belongs to the Wiradjuri, the largest Aboriginal tribe in New South Wales.











7. Popular Heath (Joe Klocek, left)


It-girl Nicco
















8. Drama queen Jesse (Jordie Race-Coldrey).   He gets a boyfriend.

9. Outsider Ben (William McKenna).

10. Principal Blake (Nicholas Coghlan) arrives in Empty World a year before the others, and the isolation has driven him daffy.  And maybe a bit evil.

Not a lot of beefcake photos available.  But everybody does't need to have their pecs and abs on display all the time.  There's nothing wrong with looking like the Boy Next Door instead of a 28-year old fitness model.  In fact, after a diet of Riverdale and its clones, it's a pleasant change of pace.

"The A-List": Bingeworthy "Lost" Meets "Riverdale"

I sat down to watch The A-List at 12:30, planning on watching one episode before going to work.  Two hours later, I said "Well, maybe one more episode."  And another.  And another.

It begins as Riverdale on an island.  Some British teens show up on Peregrine Island for a summer holiday:

1. Rich bitch Mia (Lisa Ambalavanar)

2. It-boy Dev (Jacob Dudman, whom no one can look at without imagining taking him to senior prom)

3. Heterosexual life partners Brendan and Zac (Micheal Ward, Jack Kane), who can bench press 100 kg (220 pounds).  Big deal; I do 300, and I'm twice their age.

4. Genderqueer but female-presenting Alex (Rosie Dwyer)

5. Clutzy Harry (Benjamin Nugent)

And the rest, all led by over-chirpy counselors,Dave (Cian Barry) and Mags (Nneka Okoye).

Mia is quickly overshadowed by a new It-Girl, Amber (Ellie Duckles), who gathers a coterie of followers with her mind-control powers.

And the weird things keep happening:
1. A mysterious bunker in the woods, like the one on Lost.
2. A growling beast like the Smoke Monster on Lost.
3. A mysterious stalker.
4. A sobbing sound coming from nowhere.
5. Human teeth on a tree.
6. Memories of things that haven't happened.
7. An older photograph of the campers.  This has all happened before!

The mysterious stalker turns out to be Luka (Max Lohan) who has been living in the woods on his own since the camp closed down!

I didn't want to give away that spoiler, but I had to get in a picture of Max Lohan.  It's impossible to look at him without wanting to kiss him.

This actually isn't Lost.  The mysteries within mysteries are eventually resolved.  Well, maybe not the final WTF cliffhanger.

Nor is it Riverdale.  Not a lot of nudity: a shirt off here and there.  No one goes swimming (Peregrine Island is in the Scottish Highlands, where it's cold).

 But, on the bright side, no sex: the most these  teenagers do is kiss. 

No gay male characters, that I can tell; the Brendan-Zac pair is subverted by their hetero-horny exploits, and they don't even hug.

But the genderqueer Alex points out the heteronormative bias in selecting a Midsummer King and Queen, and gets a girlfriend, after struggling to come out. (A genderqueer person has a problem with being attracted to girls?).

The A-List certainly has got its share of "WTF!!!!" cliffhangers.  Don't start watching unless you have a free afternoon.

See also: The 9 Worst Finales in Tv History

"Los Espookys": Who You Gonna Call?

I've been posting about a lot of disappointing tv series -- gay teases that don't follow through, gushing praise that masks endless boy-girl kissing.  It's high time we get to a series that it's actually good -- interesting, humorous, gay inclusive -- Los Espookys (well, that title could use a little work).

In an unspecified Latin American country, one of those magic-realism places where weird things happen so often that they're normal, Renaldo (Bernardo Velasco) creates a horror-themed quinceañera for his little sister.  It is so impressive that his Uncle Tico (Fred Armisen), the world's greatest car parker (he can even park two cars at the same time), suggests that he make a career out of creating horror-themed events.

Renaldo conscripts his best friend, the weird blue haired Andrés (Saturday Night Live writer Julio Torres), into the business.

Andrés is the heir to a chocolate empire, immensely wealthy and powerful (what if they started making sugar-free chocolate? every dentist in the country would be unemployed).

His parents and his bulging swimsuit-clad trophy boyfriend (telenovela star José Pablo Minor, top photo) disapprove of his interest in horror, but he agrees to participate.

Next they conscript their friend Úrsula (Cassandra Ciangherotti), a Goth dentist's assistant; and her delightfully obtuse sister Tati (Ana Fabrega), who has a variety of odd jobs (literally), like running a hand-cranked fan or breaking in people's shoes.

They expect to plan horror-themed parties, but for their first gig, Father Francesco (Luis Grieco), the priest at the local orphanage, complains that his new, hot, hip associate Padre Antonio (Cristobal Tapia Montt), is stealing all the glory of running orphanages.  If he were to conduct an exorcism, he would be back in the spotlight again.  So Los Espookys create an exorcism for him.

Next up: a millionaire's dying wish is to give his fortune to whoever can spend the night in a haunted house.  They are hired to create the house, and ensure that the millionaire's son does not win.

They have found their niche: creating fake paranormal events: a sea monster for a seaside town to use as a tourist attraction; an alien autopsy for a UFO researcher to show her bosses; a magic mirror for "the American ambassador"; a fake dream for an insomniac.

Along the way they have the usual daily hassles of magic-realism life: Andrés is pressured by his family to marry his trophy boyfriend (so his cookie empire can be combined with their chocolate empire).

Renaldo is pressured by his mother to get a girlfriend, even though he has explained that he's not interested in women.

Ursula, who is interested in women, has any number of hookups.

Tati keeps expecting the guys she meets on dating apps to look like their photo.

Only 6 episodes, but fortunately Season 2 is already in the works.

My grade: A+

Should I Skip or Stream "Wynonna Earp"?

Wynonna Earp has been showing up on my Netflix feed with an 86% match.  Should I stream it or skip it?

Con: My first instinct: run far, far away.  I hate Westerns, and I certainly don't want to watch a female version of Wyatt Earp gun-slinging down some fake dusty Wild West backlot.

Pro:  Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) is a modern-day paranormal investigator, no connection to the Wild West (except she's Wyatt Earp's great-great-granddaughter)

Wow.  The title and central characters are so completely misleading that they must have been created on purpose, to draw in Western fans.  But doesn't it scare away all of the fans of paranormal investigation?

Con: Oh, this is still a Western.  Wynonna lives in the modern-Wild West town of Purgatory, where the bars have antler-heads and people still wear cowboy hats.  And she has a six-shooter, a special legacy from her ancestor that allows her to hunt down Revenants, escapees from Hell, and send them back where they came from.

Fortunately, the Revenants can't go farther than the area around Purgatory, called the Ghost River Triangle.

Unfortunately, they are adept at masquerading as humans, and highly organized, with a leader unfortunately named Bobo (Michael Eklund).  You can tell he's evil because of his unfortunate beard and androgynous mannerisms.  Yet another trans villain?

Con: The writers seem to be getting their character names from old John Wayne movies: Shorty, Carl, Red, Hetty, Tug, Skip, Drek

I also find Eve, Abel, and Jesus, but maybe they aren't the Biblical characters.

Speaking of names, what's with the extra "n" on Wynonna? I have to check the spelling every time.  It just doesn't look right.

Pro:  According to the plot summary on Wikipedia, the  mythology gets curioser and curioser.  Everybody has a tragic backstory, and no one is who they seem.

I like complex mythologies, as long as they don't get too ridiculous, like on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where each season had a much-worse-than-before, Apocalyptic Big Bad.

Wynonna joins a top-secret paranormal-hunting government agency, and gathers up a group of scoobies:

1. Doc Holiday (Tim Rozon), the partner of her great-great-great grandfather, who didn't die of tuberculosis in 1887; he's still alive and kicking and looks about 30.

2. Waverly, Wynonna's sister (name too long to copy).  Well, actually half-sister.  They share a mother, but Waverly's father was an angel named Julian (yes, angels can reproduce).

3. Xavier Dolls (Shamier Anderson), the head of her unit.

4. Purgatory Sheriff Nicole (Katherine Barrell), who starts dating Waverly.

Pro: Ok, a lesbian relationship among the major characters, and they don't even wait until season 8.  That's a plus for inclusivity, but I wish there were some gay guys, too.

Pro: Score!  Jeremy Chetri (Varun Saranga), the Black Badge Unit's Lab Technician, is gay (and dating Agent Dolls?).  He's introduced in the second season.  In Season 3 he gets a boyfriend, Robin Jett (Justin Kelly, below).

Con: The show seems a bit beefcake-deprived.  Of the first 10 actors listed on imdb, 4 are women, 2 have weird beards, and 1 is grizzled.  That leaves Agent Dolls, Jeremy Chetri, and Daniel Onerheim as Paramedic (can't find a photo).

Farther down the list, we find Justin Kelly (6 episodes) and Dylan Koroll (top photo) as Hardy Champ, the boyfriend of Wynonna's sister Waverly before she starts dating Nicole.

So we have 4 Pro, 4 Con.  I need a deal-maker or deal-breaker.

I fast-forwarded through Episode 6: "Agent Dolls' secret comes out when he joins forces with Wynonna to find the Blacksmith, and encounters a family with a voracious appetite."

The Canadian Rockies in winter.  Cowboy hats, fringed leather jackets.  This is a Western.  Doc Holiday has apparently not changed with the times, ma'ama.  Wynonna wishes she could be a girl, buy lip gloss and wear flirty skirts.  Apparently she hasn't changed with the times, either.

Con.  Skip it.

"The Society":Two Gay Guys, No Beefcake, Not Enough "Lost"

In the elite, entitled small town of West Ham, Connecticut, 200 high school kids ignore the ominous portents around them (a mysterious smell, the phrase "mene mene tekel upharsin" scrawled on a wall, a production of Rosencratz and Guildenstern are Dead), and head out for a school-sponsored camping trip.  They don't get far.

"Change of plans," the bus driver announces."Rock slide, road closed, you're back home."

They get out. The buses drive off. There is no one to pick them up, so they walk home. But home is deserted. The whole town is deserted.  Cell phones won't call out; there's no tv or internet;  no way to communicate with the outside world. Eventually they discover  that there is no outside world, just a wilderness (no predators though, just wild turkeys).  They are alone.

Once they realize that they will not be rescued soon, the castaways rename their town New Ham and set up The Society.

Most episodes are about the growing pains of the colony, with checks and balances, crime and punishment, and various power struggles, along with standard survival problems and a lot of high school "who's hooking up with who?."  More Lord of the Flies meets The O.C., not so much Lost.  

Sidebar: How much survival do they need in a fully-equipped town? Surely there's enough frozen and canned food to last for years.

And why do they wait six months to explore beyond the town limits, to see if there are animals to hunt, streams to fish in, fruit trees, amber waves of grain?

I would definitely prefer more Lost.  Ordinary survival problems are not particularly interesting without zombies to fight. And the cast is very large, with nothing particularly distinctive (they're all Golden Boys and It-Girls), so it's often hard to determine who is allied with, romantically interested in, or feuding with whom.  I needed several articles to pull them together.

1. The Student Council. Cassandra (Rachel Keller), former student body president, becomes the first leader of the colony.  She is eventually murdered.

Casandra's sister Allie (Kathryn Pressman) becomes the primaryleader,  but not without opposition. Her main allies are Cassandra and Will (Jacques Colimon, left), a poor foster-care kid, who dates her except for a brief fling.

2. The Science Club.   Gordie (Jose Julian, left), who uses his Gilligan's Island Professor-type trivia knowledge to assist the castaways in the absence of the internet, has a crush on Cassandra.

His brainy sister Bean (Salena Quershi) wears a hijab, suggesting that they are both Muslim.

3. The Van Snobs.  Rich bitch Harry (Alex Fitzalan) becomes one of Allie's main opponents in the various power struggles. Maybe he's mad because Allie's boyfriend Will had an affair with his girlfriend. 

His allies include fellow rich bitch Lexi (Grace Victoria Cox);  and Campbell (Toby Wallace, left), a gun-wielding psycho who is abusive toward his girlfriend Elle (Olivia de Jong). So she tries to poison him, and ends up poisoning half the town.

4. The Gay Kids.  Campbell's younger brother Sam is deaf and gay, played by a deaf, non-gay actor (Sean Berdy, left).  His main ally is Becca (Gideon Adlon); she becomes pregnant (not from him), and he vows to help her raise the first baby in the brave new world.

Later in the season he starts a romance with outdoorsman Grizz (Jack Mulhern).

5. The Jocks.  Luke (Alex MacNeill), Jason (Emilio Garcia-Sanchez), and Clark (Spencer House) continue to wear their lettermen's jackets and sign on as the colony's police force.  They have some gay subtexts, although .Luke is also dating the super-religious Helena (Natashia Liu Bordizzo), who won't have sex with him.

Got all that? It's really not worth the trouble.  Especially when the gay guys get only two kissing scenes, and the beefcake is minimal. We're a long way from Riverdale.

And when the mystery is eked out in a few throwaway scenes, as if the writers forgot about it until the last minute and said "We should throw in a clue or something."

Hint #1: The stars are a little off, like they would be in the distant past.
Hint #2:  A mysterious Pfeiffer demanded $1,000,000 to remove the smell, and later was the bus driver who took the children (the Pied Piper?)
Hint #3: About that rockslide....