Weird Science, the movie and tv show: three gay-subtext couples, two gay-vague guys, and a lot of beefcake.

Link to the n*de dudes

Weird Science (1985) is a John Hughes brat pack comedy with a paranormal twist. Nerds Gary and Wyatt's (Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan-Mitchell Smith) are discouraged because the Girls of Their Dreams are dating a pair of belligerent, obnoxious preppies (Robert Downey Jr., Robert Rusler), and won't give them a chance.  So they use a computer to create their perfect dream girl, Lisa: she is not only attractive but super-smart, plus she has magical powers.

I forget most of the plot after 40 years, but wikipedia has helpfully filled in the details, Instead of dating them, Lisa conjures them a car, gets them fake ids, and hosts a wild party, where she thwarts their adversaries and their bullying older brother, military-school graduate Chet (Bill Paxton).

She also summons a pack of rabid bikers to kidnap the Girls, so Gary and Wyatt can mount a daring rescue and win them.

It was cheesy stuff, and entirely heteronormative.  There was a scattering of the incessant homophobia that one sees in every John Hughes movie, but spewed by the evil Chet, not by one of the good guys.  That was a big win in the era.  

Plus some strong gay subtexts between Gary and Wyatt and the prettyboy preppies Ian and Max.  And quite a surprising amount of beefcake

I wanted to do a "any gay roles/are they gay in real life" profile of one of the guys, but I can't find anything suitable.

Don't pay attention to the femme-half shirt and girly beneath-the-belt stuff.  Ilan-Mitchell Smith, now a history professor, is straight in real life.

Anthony Michael Hall, the darling of the Brat Pack, appeared in Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Johnny B Goode, and as an adult The Dead Zone and Awkward.  Straight characters, with maybe one exception, and straight in real life.

Brat Packer Robert Downey Jr. appeared in Back to School, The Pick-Up Artist, Johnny B. Goode, became famous for Chaplin (playing the silent-era comedian), and went on to play Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes.  More straight characters, with maybe one exception, and....well, you get the idea.

At least we know that Robert Rusler is a gay ally: he befriended his Nightmare on Elm Street 2 co-star Mark Patton, and took him to some of the gay bars in West Hollywood (no, we never met).  But his tv work, in The Outsiders, Babylon 5, Snoops, Murder She Wrote, Bones, Ray Donovan...as far as I can tell, all heteronormative.  And...straight in real life.

Let's try the Weird Science TV Series.

It aired on the USA Network from 1994 to 1998. I watched on occasion, usually while on the treadmill at the gym. Gary and Wyatt are now played by Michael Manasseri and John Mallory Asher. Lisa characterizes herself as a "magic genie," and Wyatt's parents are absent, leaving his older brother Chet (Lee Tergesen) to look after/bully them.  

The "winning the Girl of Our Dreams" plotline appeared in just the first two or three episodes; later Lisa turns the boys into girls, clones them,  turns them into rock stars, traps them in a horror movie, traps them in The Twilight Zone, transports them to the Old West, and brings a video game villain to life. 

More after the break

Kampan Soni: Czech-Indian boy plays a ghost-chaser and a bartender, jokes about cats, doesn't mention girls. With potential n*de photos

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Ride or Die on Amazon Prime, features a professional assassin named Judith, being pushed out of the business due to her age, who discovers that baddies are targeting an MP (that's Member of Parliament, to Yanks) and his wife, Debbie.  Who happens to be her "ride or die" (best friend).

I reviewed the first episode.  Not a fan. 

Not much beefcake. We see Judith's hookup (Taylor Napier, on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) shirtless, and her mark (Ed Skrein) coming out of the shower. 

No gay characters.  Calum Lynch (left) as Judith's handler gives off a gay vibe, but he flirts with a girl.

Even crowd scenes display endless arrays of male-female couples. 

And there's a nasty bit of queerbaiting.  In an antique warehouse, the PM's wife Debbie gets to a prized apothecary cabinet before celebrity antique dealer Drew Pritchard and his boyfriend.  They fume with envy.  Except the real-life guy is straight.  They just pretended he was gay to fool viewers. 

The only bright spot was Kampan Soni, the  cute bartender who Debbie complains to as she downs tequila after tequila.

Kampan grew up in Ahmendabad, in Gujarat State in western India, and graduated from St. Xavier High School in 2018.

He then moved to Prague, where he received a B.Sci. in Agriculture and Food Sciences in 2022.  He is currently a Global Mobility Specialist at   Amazon Prague, which means working in Human Resources.

There are two n*de photos on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Plus he does comedy povs: "Making you question things you never noticed: Facts, Psychology, Hidden History"

"Why does the ATM pin have only four digits?"

"What do cats really think about?" 

"Why do we like horror movies?"

"Why are popcorns so expensive?"

More after the break

Marcus Hodson: Shape-shifting demon or hyper-masculine Midlands model? With n*de merman bonus

 Link to the n*de dudes

On Dead Hot (2024), Marcus Hodson plays a shape-shifting demon, a hermetic Magus who travels between esoteric realms through the Eye of Horus bar and its mysterious Red Phone.  I wanted to know if he plays other mysterious Pucks or Lords of Misreason, but his IMDB listing is rather basic  Five roles, all 2022-2024: 

You Like That, a short about a gay American student in Edinburgh.

The Stand-up Sketch Show, where comedians perform "a surreal reconstruction of their own material."  Marcus is a background player in five episodes.

An episode of Domino Day, about a young witch "haunted by her need to feed on others." In Episode 2, Marcus plays a hookup who smooches with her and is eaten.

Gentleman in Moscow is about a Russian aristocrat placed under house arrest in a hotel for the rest of his life after the 1917 revolution.  He befriends a girl who also lives in the hotel; Marcus plays her piano teacher.

He also plays one of the mermen in The Little Mermaid.

Only one other paranormal show, and he doesn't even play a supernatural being?

Not many biographical details available. A 2021 article in Pause magazine states that he is 25 years old, from Manchester but living in London. He began modeling at age 18, then started university, but left to go pro.

In spite of the paucity of biographical details, Marcus has a very active social media presence, with hundreds of posts about travel, food, and beefcake. Here he is in Greece

In Rome

On the beach.  Does Marcus have a palsy disorder in his left hand, or is he displaying some magickal gestures?

More after the break

"The Consultant": Tawdry, Tasteless Homophobia at a Modern Gaming Company

 Amazon Prime has been pushing The Consultant, an adaption of a novel about a consultant who turns out to be the Devil.  I knew that bosses are all evil, but not that evil.... So I watched the first episode.

Scene 1: Six kids from Glendale Middle School are taking a tour of one of those gaming companies where employees sit on stools and play foosball.  Guide Elaine stops to flirt with Craig (Nat Wolff, left), one of the coders,  then gives them the back story: Mega-Rich Dude Sang (Brian Yoon, below) coded his first game at age 13, and now has over 100, including all of the super-popular favorites.  He's worth uncountrable billions of dollars.  She ushers them into his office, then stops by to flirt with the coder again.  They discuss how much they hate Sang. 

Suddenly gunshots ring out!  The employees, looking bored, duck under their desks -- this is America, there are .  Guide Elaine and Coder Craig der rush into Sang's office.  One of the kids, Tokyo (Henry Rhoades) shot him!  "I want my Mommy," he says. 

Scene 2: Late at night, Coder Craig lies awake next to his sleeping girlfriend or wife, horrified by the tragedy.  He tries playing a video game about killing people, but that doesn't help, so he reads a news story about the murder: "The Devil made him do it," then goes for a run. Through Los Angeles at 2:00 am?  Is he crazy?  

Scene 3: He jogs through the deserted streets to the office to get some weed (he keeps marijuana at the office, but not at home?).  It's deserted except for Elaine, who is removing video cameras from the smoke detectors.  She explains that Mega-Rich Sang was paranoid, and had them installed everywhere. They discuss the jobs they are going to get, now that Sang's company has closed.

Plot dump: Craig's girlfriend/wife is a fundamentalist, and thinks he should repent of his sins.  He wonders: If the Devil really did make the kid kill the boss, are the company employees evil, too?  Wait -- the Devil would want a good person killed, so his employees would be the good guys, right?  

Coworker Elaine shuts him down: millions of people play video games, and don't shoot anyone. There's no evidence that pretend violence causes real-life violence.

They hear a noise, and rush to the foyer: Regus (Christoph Waltz), a white haired man in an overcoat, carrying a briefcase, is just standing there, staring into space like a ghost.  He's here to see Mega-Rich Sang.  At 2:00 am?  Then he corrects himself: "Oh, right, he's dead.  He killed those kids, then turned the gun on himself."  

They explain what really happened.  "Oh, right, that was the version I told myself." Creepy, dude. 

Apparently before he died, Mega-Rich Sang hired Regus as a consultant "on all matters of business."   He also ordered this beautiful engraved Bible for you.

Unusual trait: Regus can walk ok, but he can't climb stairs.

He barges into Sang's office, shows them his contract, and calls a staff meeting for 9:00 am.  They protest, but the contract checks out.

Scene 4: Coder Craig in bed (muscle shirt), being sniffed by his fundamentalist wife.  She criticizes him for smoking weed. After a kiss, he rushes off to the office to join the grumbling employees.  I guess the kid killing Sang plotline has been dropped. 

Regus starts making crazy CEO demands, like no more working from home.  

He sniffs everyone, and forces Iain (Michael Charles Vaccaro), a guy that he thinks smells bad,  to strip and wash right in his office (chest and butt shots).   

He knows nothing about video games (except that they brainwash kids into becoming murderers, which Elaine disagrees with).  

He is usuing an assumed name: Patoff comes from "Patent office." 

They check the security cam footage of Regus's appointment with Sang. No sound, but after 14 minutes, Sang signs the contract. Then he kneels and does gay stuff with Regus.  

"Was Sang...." Coder Craig asks, another annoying example of refusing to say the word.

"No, he was asexual."  The end.

Beefcake: N*ked chubby guy while he's being humiliated.  There's a full-sized, n*de, well-hung statue of Sang later on.

Heterosexism: Craig and his fundamentalist wife, but they don't do much.

Gay Characters: Probably not, but gay s*x signifies humiliation, degradation, and evil, which, combined with the refusal to use the G-word, becomes way homophobic.  Not to mention the use of the slur  "c*cksucker."

Violent Video Games Cause Violence:  Disproven over and over. There's no evidence that violent mass media consumption impacts real-life violence.

My Grade: F.

See also: "The N*ked Brothers Band," the most heterosexist teencom on Nickelodeon. Plus the grown-up brothers' c*cks, backsides, and gay-vague characters.

The Chair Company, Episode 1.3: A chair conspiracy, a queer kid, a ginger chub, weirdness for its own sake, and men in suits with d*cks

"The Borough": A spider-monster, Stepford smiles, and elderly hunks in a desert retirement community. With Begley bottom and silver fox c*ck

Link to the n*de photos

Who can resist an old guy?  A silver fox, 50 or 60 or 70, with the tight toned body that comes from spending every day at the gym, decades of experience in putting things in all the right places, and a huge disposable income  ("I'm going to China next week.  Want me to bring you anything?" ) . So I'm looking forward to The Boroughs, a new Netflix series about paranormal shenanigans in a creepy retirement community.  There will probably be an elderly gay couple hanging around, and there will certainly be a lot of elderly beefcake.  

Scene 1: A creepy cul-de-sac of ranch-style houses, surrounded by desert, with a mountain in the background.  We zoom into one, where an elderly lady (Dee Wallace of The Stepford Wives) is eating a tv  dinner and watching Jeopardy.  She facetimes her husband Edward  (Ed Begley Jr.) at the Manor.  He wants to come home, but she won't permit it.  He says "The owls are in the walls."  

Ed Begley Jr. played the physics professor mentor on Young Sheldon, starring gay actor Iain Armitage. 

She falls asleep watching The Golden Girls.  Suddenly the tv turns itself off, and scary tentacles creep down the walls. A monster attacks!  And I thought Edward at the Manor was facing paranormal.

Scene 2: A lady and her husband Neill (Rafael Casal) drive

through the badlands.  In the back seat, we see her elderly dad, teenage daughter, and early teen son Cody.

Left: Eldon Jones (Cody) at Albuquerque Pride. Notice the rainbow flag and beads.  As you read the rest of the review, return to this photo as often as you need to.  While writing, I returned to it a lot.

 They arrive at a guard house in the middle of the desert, with nothing around, and tell the guard that grandpa, Sam Cooper, is moving in today.

"Welcome to the Boroughs,, where you'll have the time of your life."

Grandpa (flatly): "Ironic slogan for a place people come to die."

They cross the town square, full of grinning oldsters, and on to the isolated cul-de-sac.  Movers are already putting his furniture in, plus whatever was left behind by the last resident -- the lady who was eaten.  Her husband is still in an assisted care facility.

Their AI assistant, Seraphim, asks "What can I do to make your day more enjoyable?"  Grandpa isn't having it; he pulls the darn device out of the wall.  Back Story: His wife wanted to move to the Boroughs, but she recently died, and he doesn't want to be in a square coffin by himself. 

Daughter suggests that if he really hates it there, he could come live with them.  No, their place is too small.  Besides, he sunk all of his money into this retirement community, and signed a contract.  He's stuck.

Grandpa is played by Alfred Molina, the murdered boyfriend of playrwright Joe Orton in Prick Up Your Ears (1987).  

Scene 3: As Grandpa unpacks, he sees a commercial featuring the CEO of the community.  Maybe if he asks nicely -- or angrily -- the guy in charge could release him from his contract and return some of his money.

Next door neighbor Jack drops by with a "welcome wagon" six-pack of beer. He starts spewing about his golf game, sleep apnea, "touch of the gout," and difficulty  maintaining his goal of entertaining ladies every night. Girls, girls, girls!  Heterosexual identity established at Minute 13.  Finally he invites Grandpa to a neighborhood barbecue.  "No thanks, I hate barbecues.  And people.  And...well, just about everything."

Left: Jack is played by Bill Pullman, known for his underwear scene (and torture) in The Serpent and the Rainbow

Scene 4: Grandpa awakens in bed with his wife (Jane Kaczmarek).  I thought she was dead?  They hug, kiss, close-up hold hands (so you can see their wedding rings), and discuss their plans for the day (gender polarized shopping/working on the car).   It goes on and on, and becomes more and more soppy-maudlin.  Is this a dream, or is an evil succubus trying to control him?

Jane Kaczmarek played the Mom on "Malcolm in the Middle" and the 2026 sequel "Life's Still Unfair," which has gay and nonbinary characters.

It was a dream: Grandpa awakens to revving - the Girl Next Door (Geena Davis) trying to get her car started. 

The Geena Davis Institute on Gender in the Media sponsors research on female and LGBTQ representation.

  

There's also an old guy doing tai chi, which disgusts Grandpa.  You basically hate everyone, don't you?  Oh, wait, you already told us that.

Scene 5: Tai Chi Guy (Clarke Peters) goes into the house, where his wife (Alfre Woodard)  has intel on the new guy.    So, is she in charge of the nefarious plot?  No, she's just a retired reporter, passing the time with social media stalking.   I'd better get some nefarious plot soon, or I'm leaving.  

Grandpa goes to the company headquarters, a huge building with a giant atrium.  Apparently this community is much more extensive than the isolated cul-de-sac we've seen so far.  The receptionist tells him that the CEO is out today.  

Suddenly he flashes back, or has a new memory, of yelling at his wife for picking up the wrong kind of onions.  She calms him down, they dance, things get sickening, with lots of smooching and fast-forwarding -- and suddenly he's back at headquarters.  He wonders if he's going crazy.

Scene 6: Two security guards, Hank and Paz (Eric Edelstein, Carlos Miranda), are sent to the Community Center, where the Girl Next Door is teaching an art class.  She complains that a bag of rose quartz has been stolen, but they don't want to report it.  Head Guard Hank warns that if she insists, they'll claim that she's losing her memory, and should be sent to the dreaded Manor.  

Scene 7: That night, Grandpa falls asleep on the couch watching an old movie.  In the morning, he's awakened by the revving of the Girl Next Door's car.  He fixes it for her, but won't say "You're welcome" in exchange for her "Thank you."  So she yells at him.

Back in the house, he finds Edward, from Scene 1 (the one whose wife was eaten).  He yells that the owl is in the wall, blames Grandpa for taking away his wife, and attacks.  After subduing him, Grandpa wants to call the police, but the security guards explain that this is unconsolidated territory, with just a sheriff, so for most things they depend on security.  And the CEO wants to talk to him.

More after the break

Jackson Robert Scott: It prey, Locke boy, gay superhero, muscleman...and a fundamentalist hippie? With some backsides and d*cks

 

Link to the n*de dudes

Jackson Robert Scott appeared on the teen idol site with the notice that he played Georgie in It (2017), a movie based on the 1986 Stephen King novel about an transdimensional being who usually manifests as Pennywise the Clown.  I never read the novel or saw any of the movies, but I heard that one of the "losers" who combat "It" has been subjected to homophobic fanboy howls of "he can't be gay!  He's just a teenager!"  Presumably Jackson played the gay one.

Nope, that's Richie Tozer (Finn Wolfhard).  Georgie is the younger brother of focus "loser" Bill Denbrough, who gets sucked down into a storm sewer in It's first appearance. 

Left: Bill is played by Jaeden Martel as a teenager, James McAvoy as an adult (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Finn Wolfhard is too famous for a profile, and it looks like Jackson is working his way to becoming a bonafide muscleman, so I'll continue.

Jackson was born in 2008 in Phoenix, Arizona, and in 2014 started training at at CGTV , a young actors' "incubator" featuring acting lessons with celebrity coaches and connections to media professionals.  He started doing commercials almost immediately, and broke into on-screen acting in 2015, playing a boy kidnapped by a psycho on an episode of Criminal Minds.

2017 was Jackson's annus miribilis.  He played Georgie in It.

Bodie, the son in the family investigating paranormal gateways, in the pilot of Locke & Key.

The young Troy Otto, who will grow up to run a ranch with his brothers in the zombie Apocalypse series  Fear the Walking Dead.

The grown-up Troy (Daniel Sharman, left) is queer-coded, and has a nearly-canonical romance with the probably bi Nick (Frank Dillane, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyyfriends) .

The short Skin (2018) won an Oscar: In a working-class town, a black man smiles at a white boy (Jackson), and his father objects to the interracial fraternization, resulting in a race war.

But The Prodigy (2019) was rated "one of the worst horror movies of the year": is the cute kid/killer (Jackson) possessed by a supernatural entity, or just bad?

After more horror in It Chapter 2 (2019), Jackson took a reprieve with Gossamer Folds (2020): In 1986, Tate (Jackson) moves to a new town and befriends Girl Next Door Gossamer (Alexandra Gray), who isblack and trans.  I don't think they fall in love: Alexandra Gray was 30 years old, not the best choice for a preteen.  In the trailer, Tate looks up the word "f*ggot" in the dictionary, so maybe he's coming out.  

Timothy Richardson played the Handsome Man (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  Don't be shy, spoon with him.

Next Jackson returned to Bodie (actually spelled Bode) in the supernatural horror/fantasy Locke and Key (2020).  He's got a gay uncle (Aaron Ashmore), and his hetero-horny older brother is played by gay actor Connor Jessup.  

And four episodes of Wandavision (2021), as the body reference for Billy Maximoff (Julian Hilliard), son of the witch-turned-1950s housewife Wanda Maximoff.

More after the break

The Adventures of Pete and Pete

Juvenile tv programs of the 1950s and 1960s, such as Captain Kangaroo, Shari Lewis, and Andy's Gang,  were dedicated to socializing kids into the norms of adult society.  The rules may seem odd, the hosts seemed to say, but they were established by wise, sensible adults, and you musst conform. 

Then came the dedicated kidvid networks, Nickelodeon, The Disney Channel, and the Cartoon Network, telling us something quite different.   Adults are inept, crazy, or downright evil.  Their rules make no sense.  Don't even try to conform society: rebel, resist, be yourself.

The benchmark of this new anarchic juvenile tv was Nickelodeon's The Adventures of Pete and Pete (1993-96), about two brothers, teenage Pete (Mike Maronna) and preteen Pete (Danny Tamberelli) living with their parents in the town of Wellsville, New York.

If the two brothers with the same name don't suggest that something is askew in Wellsville, what about the opening song:

Hey, Smilin' Strange, you're looking happily deranged
I could've settled if you shoot me, or have you picked your target yet?

Or the adult characters:

Mom, who has a steel plate in her head that can pick up radio.

Artie, the Strongest Man in the World (Toby Huss, left), who is not at all muscular but brags that he can move a house a whole inch.

Mr. Slurm (Don Creech), the high school shop teacher with a claw for a hand.

Pit Stain Jones, a super-villain whose powers are obvious

Big Pete (Michael Maronna) is drawing close to adulthood, so he is the most conformist, with part-time jobs and career plans and crushes on girls.


But Little Pete (Danny Tamborelli) resists the International Adult Conspiracy on bedtimes and dodgeball, and investigates such mysteries as the "Inspector" tag in clothing, the "time warp" of Daylight Savings Time, and a telephone that has been ringing for 27 years.

More after the break

Andrew Stevens: Teen idol gave us queer codes in "The Fury," took off his shirt a lot, but never played a gay guy again

Nazarenes weren't allowed to go to movie theaters, so during my senior year in high school, I began telling my parents I was heading to the library or a friend's house, and sneaking out to the Showcase Cinemas to see The Chicken Chronicles (Steve Guttenberg, sigh), Close Encounters of the Third Kind, High Anxiety, Coma, The End, Big Wednesday, and in March 1978, The Fury:  Robin (Andrew Stevens, top), who has psychic powers, is kidnapped, so his Dad, former CIA agent Peter (Kirk Douglas, bottom) enlists a girl with psychic powers to find him.  

Everyone is heterosexual, and the guys both die at the end, which would be a major red flag today, but as a high schooler a few months away from recognizing that I was gay, I found many queer codes and a lot of beefcake. 

I had some idea that Andrew became a member of the Brat Pack in the 1980s, starred in some buddy-bonding angst dramas, and was called a "f*g" by Molly Ringwald (who would go on to play a pro-gay Mom in Stranger Things).  But that turns out to be Andrew McCarthy.  I haven't seen Andrew Stevens in anything else.  Here's why.

Born in 1955 in Memphis, Andrew started his career as a cute teenager, subtly muscular, with shaggy hair and a goofy smile, for "heartwarming" roles as cute or wounded kids in tv series like Apple's Way (1974), Police Story (1975), and Shazam! (1976).  I didn't like heartwarming.

In the 1980s, hair straightened, muscles bulging, tanned, Andrew began playing  suave playboys or con artists in the tv soaps Emerald Point N.A.S , Dallas, and Hotel.

Soap operas?  No way!



















More after the break

Khemjira: A Thai shaman and his students find boyfriends, with a "Power Ranger" demon, muscular ghosts, magic bees, a play, and beneath-the-belt stuff

  

Link to the n*de photos

When Thai tv series Khemjira (2025) appeared on my Netflix recommendation list. I thought it might be another BL series, like Love Like a Bike. But fast-forwarding through the first episode, I saw only a boy-girl romance, plus someone who looked nonbinary.  So I'm going to review Episode 7; in the U.S., they postpone outing gay characters until near the end of the season, so maybe a gay romance will start heating up.

Our Story So Far: The Spirit Ramphueng, who looks like Rita Repulsa from Power Rangers, has cursed a family: every boy born will die before his 21st birthday. Khem's parents give him a girl's name to fool her, but it doesn't work; demons keep attacking.  So they send him to Ubon Ratchatthani province, near the Laotian border, where Shaman Pharam can protect him.

He befriends two of the shaman students: Red-haired, effervescent Jet, and shy, quiet Cham. 

From left to right: Cham, Jet, Khem

Scene 1: Shaman Pharam, who is very young (the actor is 25), brings the guys to "Remembering the Holy Men," a real performance piece memorializing the 1901 m*ssacre of over 300 men who were rebelling against the Siamese government.   

Khem sees some of the spirits; very muscular.  But he also sees Ramphueng, and worries that she will use them to attack.  So Shaman Pharam gives him an additional locket for protection.

Scene 2: While Jet and Cham choose a paint color for an offering to the spirits, a girl who dated or had a crush on Shaman Pharam ten years ago tries to get with him again, but Pharam isn't interested.  

Scene 3: The performance.  Chalked men and women wave tapers with multicolored smoke and run back and forth, grab tall poles, bleed red ink, carry each other off, and finally fall down.   

 

Uh-oh, there's Ramphueng again!  She tries to control the very muscular spirits, but they are too powerful, and make her choke and evaporate.  

Only Khem and Shaman Pharam see this.  Everyone else just applauds as the performanc ends. 

Cut to Ramphueng: "I may have failed this time, but I'll get you, My Pretty!"

Scene 4: As everyone is packing up, the girl with the crush on Shaman Pharam stops by to say goodbye and give him a gift.  Khem, eavesdropping, thinks they are dating, and walks away morosely.

Shaman Pharam notices and calls him back.  "Anything wrong?" "Oh...no, not at all, Master.  Bye!" 

"Then give my my protection amulet back."  "Grr...yeah, sure, I guess."

Scene 5: It's a busy day: next up Rich Guy Pong, who wears a Bethany Nazarene College t-shirt, arrives to take the guys to the Temple Festival. 

Hey, I grew up Nazarene.  Hard-core fundamentalist. There's a Bethany Nazarene College in Oklahoma.

Rich Guy Pong asks Khem to sit up front -- um, to check the map. He agrees.  Jet and Cham gossip about whether the two are an item.  

As they pull out, Shaman Pharam stares despondently.  Jealous, dude?  He summons two child-appearing spirits, and orders them to watch the group and report back if there's trouble.

"And if they split up, who do you want us to keep an eye on?  Anybody special, giggle giggle?"

More aftr the break

"Men": N*ked men and paranormal peril in a quaint English village. What could go wrong? You'd be surprised.

  

Link to the n*de photos

Browsing for a movie to watch this week, we came across  Men  (2022) on HBO MAX.  Imagining musclemen lounging by the pool, and maybe the old magazine Advocate Men, we eagerly clicked "play." Without any prior research...

The Landlord:  Young, extremely successful business person Harper Marlowe drives 4 1/2 hours from London to a village in Herefordshire, where she will be renting a huge mansion from landlord Geoffrey, who has bad teeth (an important character trait).  He is shocked that Harper can't play the piano, and upset that she reserved the mansion as "Mrs.," but there's no husband with her.

The Screaming Being:  Harper takes a walk through the woods, and finds a huge tunnel going nowhere.  Suddenly a being appears at the other end, and runs toward her, screaming in anger or terror.  She runs.

The N*ked Man: On the way back, she walks through an abandoned village.  There's a n*ked man following her: a mid-40s bear type with a hairy chest, a little belly, and a nice c*ck.

She runs back to her mansion, but the N*ked Man follows.  He peers in the windows, pulls apples from the tree, and shoves his hand through the mail slot, trying to get in.  He appears unable to speak.  He is not threatening, just curious, as if he's never seen a house -- or a human being -- before.

Harper calls the police.  They arrive, handcuff the guy, and lead him off. 

The Green Man:  Harper takes another walk, and stumbles across an old church.  Strangely, the altar contains a stone carving of the Green Man on one side, and on the other a man giving birth. 

The Green Man, a face covered with leaves, is often found carved into the stones of old English churches.  He is thought to be a pagan fertility symbol.

The man giving birth turns out to be Sheela na Gig, a woman with masculine features but an exceptionally large birthing part, a common "grotesque" in English churches. 

The Back Story:  Harper kneels, starts sobbing, and flashes to her back story.

In an elegant apartment near the Tower Bridge in London, Harper tells her husband (Paapa Essideu) that she wants a divorce.  He begs, pleads, yells, and threatens self-harm.  Finally he punches her, and she kicks him out.  A few moments later, he comes plummeting past the window.  Apparently he broke into the apartment upstairs, and either jumped or tried to climb down to her balcony, and slipped.  Either way, he glares at her accusingly as he falls.

The Mentally Disabled Boy:  Outside the church, Harper encounters a person wearing a creepy Marilyn Monroe mask.  The mask comes off -- it's a mentally disabled boy, asking her to play hide and seek. She refuses, so he calls her nasty names.

 More after the break

"Weapons": Mysterious disappearances, a positive gay couple, a scary clown lady, a femme boy, and a lot of n*de dudes. What's not to like?

Link to the n*de photos

Weapons (2025), on MAX: in the stereotypic small town of Maybrook, Pennsylvania, 17 of the 18 children in a third grade class disappear from their beds at exactly 2:17 am.  Security cams show them sneaking out of their houses and running into the woods, with their arms out like they're pretending to fly.  

I thought this was going to be a mysterious disappearance with no solution movie, like Picnic at Hanging Rock, but there is a solution: we find out what happened to the kids at the end.  Before that, we see the effects of the tragedy on five people:

Justine

The teacher, Justine (Julia Garner), and the surviving kid, Alex (Cary Christopher), are interrogated, and their houses searched, with no clues.  They had no idea that it -- whatever it was -- was going to happen.

A month later, still with no clues, Justine speaks to the parents at a memorial assembly.  She swears that she  doesn't know what happened, but they don't believe her. "You did something to our kids!" the parents yell.

It doesn't help that she's an alcoholic who picks up booze every day on the way home, she picks up strange men in bars (well, to be fair, I do that, too), and she was fired from her last job for inappropriate behavior with a child.  Principal Marcus (Benedict Wong) decides that it would be best for her to take a leave of absence.

One of her hookups is the Cop Paul (Alden Ehrenreich), who is trying to get clean and sober and stop cheating on his wife, but she gets him drunk and takes him home (no beefcake).

The principal has forbidden her from contacting the traumatized surviving kid, but she starts staking out his house.  Weird -- the windows are covered with newspaper, and when she snoops inside, she sees his parents sitting on the couch, motionless, like zombies,  Alex yells for her to go away, but she continues the stake out.  She falls asleep in her car, and a lady in scary clown makeup bursts in and cuts off a lock of her hair.

Archer

Construction worker Archer (Josh Brolin, left, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) is sleeping in his missing kid's room and mourning their loss (I thought it was a girl due to their long hair and femme features, but it turns out to be a boy, Matthew).  His wife insists that he go to work, so he heads to the house he's building.  The construction crew is having problems: no sodding, and the door is painted the wrong color, darn it!  One expects him to start yelling, but he quietly puts the red paint in the back of his truck to exchange later.

Next stop, the police station, where the Chief says they have no more leads, so stop coming in every day.  

He checks the security cam footage of his child leaving, and notices that he's moving in the direction of the radio tower.  Maybe it sent a signal?  He asks the other parents for security cam footage of their kids, but doesn't get very far.

Then he sees Justine at the gas station/liquor store, and decides to ask her some questions.  But while they are talking, Principal Marcus comes rushing up, his arms spread as if he is flying, his eyes all white, and attacks her!  Archer tries to help, but the guy is incoherent, like a zombie.

Paul

Cop Paul happens to be the son-in-law of the Police Chief (Toby Huss) -- and he didn't get the job because of his qualifications.  They discuss how his wife is coming back early from her trip, and then he goes to work.

The long-haired, scuzzy-looking James is jaywalking -- better stop him!  He runs, so Cop Paul gives chase.  He finally catches the guy, handcuffs him, and starts searching his pockets -- uh-oh, a needle prick!  He's so outraged that he pummels James-- with the dashcam recording everything. 

When James regains consciousness, Paul lets him go -- but don't come anywhere near the police station, or report the assault, or you're dead!  

Back at the station, Paul asks his Police Chief father-in-law what to do.  He suggests getting checked for HIV, and forgetting about the video.  In 30 days it will vanish, so as long as James doesn't report, he's clear. 

James

Crack addict James (Austin Abrams. top photo, the one with the curly hair) calls everyone he can think of to beg for money, but they've all had enough.  He steals some things to pawn, but the pawn broker won't give him enough.  He breaks into Survivor Alex's house, and finds his parents, sitting like zombies.  Thinking "they must be high," he tries the basement, and finds the missing kids, standing still, lifeless, like zombies. 

There's a $50,000 reward for finding them!  He calls the police and asks about the reward, but they want him to come to the police station.

As he approaches, Paul sees him, gives chase, and attacks.  "But I know where the kids are!" he exclaims.

Paul drives him to the house, and leaves him locked in the police car while he goes inside.  Hours later, he returns, his movements shaky, his eyes white, and drags James in with him.

More after the break.