I could look at stage Tarzans all day -- the biggest, most buffed hunks of small towns across the country stripped to a loincloth and paraded about for two hours. Ignore the heteronormative plot and concentrate on the biceps, pecs, and abs.
1. Berkeley Playhouse. Nice to see a Tarzan with a belly -- no Nautilus machines in the jungle.
2. Marietta High School in Georgia.
3. The Big Fork Summer Playhouse in Big Fork, Montana, which, as far as I can tell, is near nothing in particular except two Indian reservations, Blackfoot and Flathead.
4. Utah State University. Those pecs and abs are real. They grow them big in Logan.
5. Missoula Community Theater. Ok, they can't all be hunks.
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6. The Muny in St. Louis, America's biggest and oldest outdoor theater, with the biggest and hottest Tarzans on display.
7. The Collegio San Gabriel in Chile. Who knew that Tarzan was popular in Latin America? But he lost his dreadlocks.
8. Avondale High School in Detroit brings in all three Tarzans, kid, teen, and adult, for a group photo. They don't look anything alike.
9. A ginger Tarzan from Liberty High School in Baltimore.
10. The Albuquerque Play Conservatory gives us a Hispanic Tarzan with a magenta loincloth.