After my last three or four grim reviews, I have to conclude that Netflix, the streaming service that brought us Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, The Good Place, Bojack Horseman, and Kim's Convenience, has been reduced to dredge. But maybe Red Rose, a British tv series about a murderous app, will break the heteronormative trend. I'll watch Episode #1, "It's Grim Up North."
Scene 1: Manchester, Christmastime. Snow, trees, ecstatic crowds. Teenage Alyssa says goodbye to her friends and stares in horror at carolers. Come on, they're singing "The Carol of the Bells,' not "Have Yourself a..." Mom calls to back out of picking her up, so Alyssa walks home. She rushes into the elegant noveau-modern mansion and turns the smart thermostat up to 27 (80 degrees Fahrenheit). But it turns down to 0! And the big screen tv is mirroring her! Lights and vacuum cleaners go off and on at random. Alyssa yells for the home app Electra to turn everything off, but it doesn't obey She runs through the house terrified. Mum finally gets home, but it's too late: Alyssa jumps off the roof! WTF? What was she afraid of? A cranky home app? Mum?
Scene 2: Bolton, a quaint, very English town near Manchester, six months later. Two teenage girls, Wren (blonde) and Roche (brunette), are sitting on a rustic road, discussing the end of exams and summer plans. They sign each other's shirts, frolick, and almost kiss, but they are interrupted by a third girl. Any boys in this show? Finally -- two boys, Noah and Antony (Ellis Howard, below), catch up to joke and tease the girls.
Cut to teens in school uniforms dancing on hilltops. Noah and Antony dance with each other, but pair off with girls to smoke and drink and play patty-cake (teenagers? Is that a British thing?).
A Middle Eastern guy, Taz (Ali Khan), joins them, which upsets one of the girls but delights the others. They invite him to join their friend group, the Dickheads. Are organized friend groups a thing?
All of the Dickheads except for Roche, who is poor, have been invited to Rich Snob Becky's party. They approach and ask if she can come, too. Becky tries to exclude Roche by making up a 10 quid ($12) door charge, but the friends offer to pay it for her. "Sigh...ok, but it's 'dress to impress'"
Scene 3: While the others are dancing, Wren and Noah (Harry Redding) find a deserted phone booth and make out. What is a phone booth doing in the hills, with no buildings or roads around? Poor girl Roche sees them and is upset. She wanders off by herself, and gets a text inviting her to download an app, Red Rose: "Welcome to the new you."
Scene 4: Morning. Roche awakens and goes downstairs to a shabby, mismatched house, two whiney preteen sisters, a dead Mum, and a Dad who is folding laundry (Samuel Anderson, top photo). She prepares breakfast, but there's not enough cereal to go around. She complains that she has to look after the twins all summer, so she won't be able to hang out with her friends. 'Why don't you invite them to our shabby hovel?" Dad suggests. "Um...no, I'm ashamed that we're poor."
Scene 5: The five Dickheads are leaving a pasty shop in downtown Bolton, when they run into Jaya (a girl). She quotes from The Goonies (they're fans of a 40-year old movie?). She's not going to the Rich Snob Party because, um...she's hanging out with her old mates. Realizing that she actually can't afford the cover charge, Roche makes fun of her. But you're poor, too. Covering?
Next, some bully girls accuse Wren of being a slut; Roche defends her. Then she breaks away from the group to play with her Red Rose app, which asks: "Do you need help?" "No!"
Scene 6: Wren working in a tea shop. Her coworkers ask about the mysterious boy she is dating. Cut to a cemetery, where Wren meets with an older, bearded guy (Adam Nagaitis?). He asks if they can be more open about their relationship, but she refuses and stomps off: "Don't push me!"
Scene 7: Night. Roche (the poor one) is entertaining her sibs with hand puppets. Suddenly the lights go out: the electro-card reader is out of money.
The app asks again "Do you need help?" "Yes!"
"Write three wishes on a mirror, and chant these disturbing words." Roche goes to her room and writes: "Wealth. Power. Respect." The lights come back on -- 100 pounds was added to the account! In the morning, there's a sparkly princess dress and new shoes waiting for her. So, what about the power and respect?
Scene 8: The Friend Group is playing a board game. Does anyone under 60 still do that? Roche bursts in to show off her new shoes. Bestie Wren wants to know if Roche is upset about her dating Noah. Of course she is.
Scene 9: Roche is taking her younger sisters on a wilderness hike. The app instructs her to build a fire, so she does. Then it reveals a ghostly image of her Mum. Horrified, Roche takes the girls to the store where a girl named Ash works. She doesn't see anything on the phone. Roche gets a flapjack (what Americans call a brownie).
Next, Roche and Wren discuss their relationship and upset each other by referring to their parents: Dead Mum, and...um, something wrong with Dad. Roche rushes off to a mansion, where a middle-aged woman has been minding the kids, and blurts out: "Wren has been seeing Rick!" Soap opera, innit? Then she goes home and looks at videos of her Dead Mum.
Scene 9: The middle-aged woman confronts Wren about dating Rick. Wait, the older, bearded guy from the cemetery is not a boyfriend, he's Wren's Dad, who is not allowed to see her. He must have done something truly horrifying to not even get structured visitation. "He's better now," Wren argues. "He doesn't get better! What he did..." Keep it a mystery, why don't you?
Scene 10: Roche brings the kids to a food bank, where they also have free breakfasts. She didn't get much wealth, did she? The priest wants to know why she's upset. More stuff about the fight with Wren.
Scene 11; We finally get to the Rich Snob Party advertised in Scene 2. The app instructs Roche to "kiss Noah" (Wren's boyfriend). She refuses, so it displays a video of her at the food bank. To humiliate her for being poor? It repeats: "Kiss Noah, or everyone will know the real you." So she does -- and that's displayed on the big tv, too! Wren is upset.
Scene 12: On the way home, the app shows Roche a picture of the kids -- with Dead Mum behind them! The end.
Beefcake: None. The three teenage boys don't even have any shirtless pics online.
Other Sights: Lots of Bolton.
Heterosexism: Wren is dating Noah, but the plot is actually about her relationship with Roche.
Gay Characters: Wren and Roche have a gay subtext romance. Antony, the member of the Dickheads with just two lines in this episode, comes out as gay later on, but I don't know how much character development he gets.
Paranormal: The app hasn't done anything yet that couldn't be done with computer hacking, but we'll see...
My Grade: B
Update: In Episode 3, the evil app lures Antony to a public restroom by pretending to be a hot guy on a Grinder-like app. So there are no gay organizations, and everyone is deeply closeted. Sounds rather retro.
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