The top ten buffed big brothers of nuclear family sitcoms, from Tony Dow to Dakota Lotus

 Nuclear family sitcoms often juxtapose shy, weird, un-athletic, intellectual, or otherwise outsider boys and their popular, athletic, muscular, and often dimwitted older brothers.  Sometimes Big Brother is deliberately cast with a bicep boy, but more often it happens organically, as little brother hits the books and big brother hits the gym.  Here are the top ten biggest, baddest, most buffed Big Brothers.

1. Wally (Tony Dow)  on Leave It to Beaver (1957-63).

2. Reese (Justin Berfield) on Malcolm in the Middle (2000-2006). Malcolm is a beset-upon genius with two older and a younger brother. Reese turned into a veritable bodybuilder with a strong gay subtext before the showrunners got scared and turned him straight.

 

3. Drew (Tequan Richmond)  on Everybody Hates Chris (2005-2009). While Chris was bad at everything and got into trouble constantly, his bigger, taller younger brothre Drew was a golden boy.  He was so beautiful that everyone, not just teenagers, dissolved into a slurry of hormones when he smiled at them.  Women only, I think: this show was extremely skittish about the g-word.

4. Axl Heck (Charlie McDermott) on The Middle (2009-2018) hung around the house in his underwear all the time.  This was supposed to be a weird quirk, not a turn-on.  They didn't know the audience very well, did they? I don't remember if he liked girls or not; I was too busy looking at his "happy trail" to pay attention to the plots. (Except for the one where the sister's friend wants to come out, but doesn't get to say the g-word.)

5. On The Goldbergs (2013-2023),  Barry (Troy Gentile), wrestler and all-around hunk, was paired with the shy intellectual boy in a gay-free 1980s.

More after the break

6. Jason Hervey as the hunky big brother to focus character Kevin on The Wonder Years (1988-93)

7. Chet (Lee Tergesen) was a bullying, snively military school graduate who terrorized gay-subtext buddies Wyatt and Gary on Weird Science (1994-98).

8, Jason Earles as Jackson on Hannah Montana (2006-2011). He was actually the big brother to a teenage girl/ secret pop star, but cute, so he's getting on the list.

9. On Young Sheldon (2017-24 ).  Georgie Cooper (Montana Jordan) was all brawn to Sheldon's brains in a gay-free 1990s.  Unfortunately, they abandoned the muscle-building plotline to concentrate on Georgie as a teen dad.

10. Dakota Lotus on Coop and Cam Ask the World (2018-20).  He's actually the focus character, not his little brother, but check out his abs.

See also: Life is Still Unfair: "Malcolm in the Middle" returns, with a super-jerky Malcolm, a n*de Hal, and a nonbinary sibling. Plus Francis and Alex d*cks

Weird Science, the movie and tv show: three gay-subtext couples, two gay-vague guys, and a lot of bulges and butts. Plus Lee's dick.

Dakota Lotus: The Disney Channel's Coop sings, shows his pitts, brings on Christmas depression.