Skyler Gisondo's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 4: a baseball bat, a hickey, a little dog, and a chub with a chubby

  

  Link to the nude photos

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/humorous photos of  Skyler Gisondo, star of The Santa Clarita Diet and The Righteous Gemstones, and Jimmy Olson in the upcoming Superman: Legacy. As far as I know, he's over 18 in all of them.  He doesn't have any verifiable nude photos online, but some of his friends do, and there are some interesting chatroom and hookup app possibilities.

1. Are those bi pride swim trunks?

2. Long-term bud Wyatt Oleff.  The two starrred together in the tv pilot Middle Age Rage (2013), and stayed friends, bonding over abs.

3. And stuff.  Actually, Wyatt says that he doesn't remember who he's giving a hickey to. It could be Skyler, but then, he makes out with so many guys....

4. Skyler grooving on some stars and stripes.  And his little dog, too.

5. Skyler's "just guys" vacation in New York.  He didn't say who he went with, but they look very comfortable together.  Hanging out in their underwear.

6. And out of their underwear.

More after the break

"Good Trouble": The Foster girls move to L.A., get horrible jobs, and compete over a bi boy. WIth a lot of naked guys.

Good Trouble popped up on my recommendations from Hulu under the Pride Collection.  The icon shows two girls, so they must be a lesbian couple.  Maybe there are gay characters, too.

Link to the nude photos

Scene 1: Two girls, who name themselves Mariana and Callie, squeal as they drive a U-Haul on an empty highway to L.A.  I can't tell who has which name, so I'll call them Long Hair and Short Hair.  One has just graduated from law school and found a job as a clerk for a federal judge, and the other, just graduated from college, has found a job as a software engineer. 

Scene 2: With those salaries, they could rent a condo in West Hollywood, but instead they're moving into a hippie commune at the Palace Theater downtown.  The manager gives them a tour: 

Communal bathroom, with a naked lady and a guy who doesn't wash his hands after using the urinal. Manager complains that everyone over-wipes. 

Kitchen, where a lady complains that everyone steals her stuff from the refrigerator.  

Lounge, where someone named Dennis is rehearsing a play about stealing books.

Dennis is played by Josh Pence, left.

Their horrible bedroom, with sagging plaster, unfinished walls, and opaque windows. They can use the communal bathroom, or they can buy a chamber pot, but don't poop in it, because the rats will eat it.  I'm never going to get that image out of my head. Girls, just rent a decent apartment.

Scene 3: The girls complain, but they have no choice: they can only afford $1600 per month.  Ok, that might be a problem.  My old apartment in West Hollywood is now running at $3000.

Scene 4: Uh-oh, their U-Haul has been broken into, and everything was stolen!  How long were you looking at the horrible commune before coming down to unload?

They go to a bar to drink tequila. Short Hair notes that the male bartender is hot.  "Really?" Long Hair asks, annoyed.  "When was the last time you got laid?"  Wait -- I thought they were a lesbian couple. Why is this included in the Pride Collection?  Is there a gay minor character?

Scene 5: They have no clothes for work tomorrow, so they head to an all-night discount store for a montage of trying on clothes, playing with dolls, squealing,  and hugging. Then sleeping on separate mattresses, waking up late the next morning, and rushing out.  Hang on -- you planned to move into your new place the day before your first day at work?  What if you were delayed on the road?

On the way out, Short Hair gets a cliched jaw-dropping love-at-first-sight moment as the Boy of Her Dreams walks toward her in slow motion.  I don't see the attraction -- he's disheveled, shabbily dressed, hair askew, looking like how Hollywood portrays meth heads.  Long Hair knows him already, from when he interviewed at the software company.  Wait -- she hasn't gone to work yet, she doesn't work in human resources, and, and....what the heck is going on?  Anyhow, the takeaway of the scene is that they're sisters, both into the hunky Meth Head, and likely to sabogate each other's attempts to snare him.  . 

Or not.  I can't find him in the cast list.

Googling Callie and Medina, I discovered that they are from The Fosters, a soap opera about a lesbian couple raising a lot of foster and adopted kids. So that's the gay connection?    

The Fosters was a soap opera, so Good Trouble will probably have a lot of tragedy and angst. 

Scene 6:  That night, while mooning over Meth Head, Short Hair walks up to the balcony swimming pool ...in a seedy, decrepit falling-apart movie theater where they can't even afford to plaster the walls?  None of this makes any sense.  Just go with it.  

A hunk takes off his shirt and dives in. Beefcake alert: we see him underwater, swimming laps.  He notices Short Hair and introduces himself as Gael, played by Tommy Martinez, top photo and left.

Whoa, a sudden shot of Short Hair as a victim of a violent sexual assault.  Or maybe extremely energetic consensual sex -- on tv with no context they look identical.  According to the fan wiki, when Callie was living in the foster home before the Fosters, she reported that a guy named Liam raped her, but her previous set of foster parents didn't believe her and kicked her out of the house.  She must be getting a post-traumatic flashback.

They discuss their dreams and goals, smoke pot, and examine Gael's art. He does terrible sculpting in clay -- and invites her to caress the very phallic end of his piece called "Stasis." Short Hair notes that she wanted to study art, but couldn't hack it and tried law as a back-up. 

They feel more art, and the camera repeatedly zooms in on Short Hair's bare shoulder -- I wonder if she suffered an injury there during her rape on The Fosters. Then they kiss.

More Foster girls after the break.  And a few guys.

Thiago Alves or Lazzarato. Or is it Tiago or Thyago? Whichever, they all have dicks

  

I was recommended Thiago Alves, whose instagram is Thiago Lazzarato.

Lazzarato is "a Brazilian model, fitness trainer, role model, gay father, lover, friend, and successful businessman," according to his profile on Alpha Male Style.

Lazzarato and husband

I usually just profile actors, but Lazzarato has just one credit on the IMDB, an episode of Raw Fuck Club, which has been running since 2009, featuring Beau Butler, Colby Melvin, SFStudMonkey, Riley Mitchell, and Cain Marko.  I think it's a gay sex program.

Nevertheless, has 414,000 followers on Instagram, which states that he's  "just a regular gay guy traveling the world with his two chihuahuas, Mozart and Beethoven.  He also has 47 million Tiktok likes and 104 million anyfans likes. 

Nude photos are not hard to find.

Here he's aroused (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends, anyway).

More after the break

"Unsuspicious": Three Families, One Dead Tycoon, One Drag Queen, and Lt. Columbo

 

Unsuspicious is a Brazilian comedy about three women deceived by the same man, and now seeking revenge.  Sort of like Imposters.  The promo showed several feminine guys in the crowd scenes, so I imagine there are gay characters.  I reviewed Episode 1, "The Three Wives of Jorginho Peixoto."

Scene 1: A man in a bathrobe walks through an elegant mansion to the study, which is festooned with newspaper articles about how rich Jorge Peixoto is.  "Damn it!" he exclaims. "Today's the day!"  And he is stabbed to death!

Flashback to a few days ago:  The feminine Uncle Aquila rushes through the house, excited because Jorginho has invited them all to his mansion for the weekend. Relationship dump: Uncle Aquila's sister Bete is Jorginho's ex-wife. They haven't seen each other for many years; Jorginho has never met his teenage daughter.  There is also a mother in the family.     

Uncle Aquila is played by Silvero Pereira (left), a drag queen and dramatic actor who has written a book on the transvesti of northern Brazil.

Meanwhile, Mauricio (Romulo Arantes Neto, top photo), a hot guy wearing an ugly ring, climbs out of his boyfriend's car.  He's got an invitation, too, which he gives to his sister Patricia,   Jorginho's estranged wife. She invites Mauricio and her yoga instructor along.

Meanwhile, Raul (Cezar Maracuja, left) a struggling singer,  goes into a fundamentalist church with a third invitation, which he gives to his sister Thyellen.  He teases her about Jorginho being her boyfriend, but she protests: "He's not my boyfriend -- yet, but this weekend could seal the deal."  Of course she invites Raul along.

Scene 2:  Girlfriend and Raul arrive at the  mansion, and are shocked to see a butler -- and a stuffed cow in the parlor!

Ex-Wife and family, including Uncle Aquila, arrive.  Butler calls them all "ladies."

Estranged Wife and Mauricio are already there.

 No one realized that the others were coming, or that the other relationships even existed ! Everyone starts to argue.  Mauricio flirts with Uncle Aquila, and Raul flirts with the yoga instructor. 

Scene 3: As they are arguing and bonding, Jorginho arrives -- by praying at a Candomble altar and sliding down the bannister!  Time for dinner.

Uncle Aquila notices that the soup comes from a recipe that only two people know -- his mother and his brother, Darlison (Raphael Logam).  They rush into the kitchen -- the chef is indeed Darlison in drag.  Jorginho thought it would cause trouble if everyone knew that he had hired his ex-wife's brother. Why? 2/3rds of the guests didn't even know that he had an ex-wife.

Down to business: Jorginho is in danger -- bad guys want to kill him -- so he's transferring his assets to his three wives/girlfriend and vanishing.  By the way, he's purchased all of their original assets -- Ex-wife's hair salon, Wife's private island, Girlfriend's church -- so they have no choice.  

Except they do refuse, and dump their glasses of wine on his head.

Scene 4:  He gives them an hour to think it over.  They adjourn to separate rooms to argue.  Ex-Wife reasons that their daughter will inherit everything by default, so why settle for a third?  Girlfriend thinks that, since he's in love with her, she'll get everything if the other two back out.  Current Wife just yells.  

Scene 5: The lights go out!  Everyone re-convenes with candles and lanterns.  They head to Jorginho's office.  He's dead, stabbed in the back.  Am I in an Agatha Christie novel?

The police arrive, tape off the crime scene, dust for fingerprints, and so on, while the families wait.  A Columbo-type bumbling detective bursts in, stumbles into the crime scene, and accidentally pulls out the knife!  "Everyone here is a suspect," he announces, "So no one leaves until we figure out whodunit."  The end. 

Beefcake: None.

Other Sights: Just the mansion.  

Gay Characters: Uncle Aquila, of course, and probably Mauricio.

Update: By the third episode, everyone seems to be paired off: Mauricio-Joquinho's girlfriend, Darlison-his Wife, ex-wife's mother-the butler.  Uncle Aquila doesn't get a boyfriend.

"Ultraviolet": Mild-Mannered Uber Driver and her Scoobies Solve Murders and Annoy the Hunky Detective

 

I started watching the Polish detective series Ultraviolet (2017) by accident: you click on the icon for more information on Disney and Hulu, but on Netflix you have to look for a little arrow; if you click, it starts.  But I'm hooked now.

Scene 1: Ola is having a bad day.  The clerk at the gas station gives her a hard time, then she rides off with her coffee on the hood.  And just when she's popped a pill, so she can go home and go to bed, she gets an Uber customer. 

 Her entitled college student passenger invades her social media accounts, and discovers that she was living in London and had a husband.  "What happened?" "None of your frickin' business!"

 "Why did you come back to Poland?  This place is a dump!"

She drops off the fare at a fancy hotel, and gets a rating of only two stars!  

Scene 2: As she drives toward the train station, she sees a man get out of a car on the overpass.  Suddenly a body falls from the overpass, bounces onto an oncoming car, and hits the street.  The other driver zooms off.  Ola calls 111.  "Check for the victim's pulse."  "She's squashed."  "Check for a pulse!" 

Scene 3: Hot Detective (Sebastian Fabijanski, top photo) listens to her story about a man on the overpass.  She thinks it was a murder, but he dismisses her as drunk or high.  Grr.  

Scene 4: Ola visiting her mother, who asks "Why don't you let the police handle it?"  "It's just like what happened when  my brother died.  He was shot in the head.  The police were useless."  Mom continues to protest.  Ola storms out.

Scene 5: Ola drinking in an open-air restaurant.  She googles what to do when the police can't help.  Call the A-Team. On this case, Ultraviolet: an informal group of online investigators who, the head honcho Tomek (Michal Zurawski, left) brags, have solved over 100 of the 2,000 unsolved murders in Poland. 

Scene 6: Tomek tells about the first case he solved, at age 16: " a woman who drowned.  The police called it suicide, but he knew it was a murder...."  He's interrupted by his wife.  She's ovulating, so they have to go have sex.  Darn, I figured he was gay.

Scene 7: Ola submits her "Lady of the Overpass" case , and it's networked to Ultraviolets all over Poland.  

Switch to a woman -- is it Ola?  Every woman in Poland is blond; I can't tell them apart -- filming a podcast about fashion tips.  She's interrupted by the phone ringing.  It's the Lady of the Overpass case.  She recognizes the victim's t-shirt as a limited edition given out by a chain of gyms.  

Switch to Tomek checking the gym chain's website -- and there's a picture of the victim, Monika!  

Scene 8: Ola visits the Chief Inspector, who is not happy: "What now?"  "Another murder for you to sweep under the rug."  He ignores her and walks away.  

Next she accosts Hot Detective: "Did you find the identity of the Lady of the Overpass yet?  No?  Well,  my scoobies and I have it figured out."  

"Ok, fine.  Don't do anything else."

"I've looked up her biography online.  Her social media account is private, but I sent out friend requests to all of her friends." 

"Stop!  We don't want your help!  You're a drunk and a drug addict."

"I've only taken eight pills in four years!  My brother gave them to me."

He remembers brother's case: he was abusing his wife, and she shot him in self-defense.  "They were divorced, and she ambushed him and shot him from ten feet away."  

They are interrupted by a ping: one of the Dead Lady's friends accepted Ola's friend request, so now she has access to her social media, linked to the Dead Lady's

The Dead Lady's last post was at 1:05 am: "God forgive me, I don't want to live."   Sounds like a suicide note, except she added nine cat emojis.  Who would do that?  

More Ultraviolet data: the Dead Lady hated emojis; she unfriended anyone who used them.  So why the cats?  Obviously she didn't write the post, or she was being coerced.

Scene 8: Ola visits the elderly Henryk (Marek Kalita) on his gated estate.  He is not happy to see her. Geez, Ola has a bitter back story with everybody.  

He disapproves of tangling with the police again, but as long as she insists, he suggests: find the car that the Dead Lady fell onto.  The dents will tell whether she fell, jumped, or was pushed.  There are lots of BMWs in Lodz, but not many with owners who run from an accident....

Scene 9: Ola accosts Hunky Detective with idea of checking the BMW.  He's reluctant to help: "The chief investigator, has already closed the case.  It's a suicide."  

But finally he gives her the car owner's address, and she and Henryk drive over.  Uh-oh, the hood has been replaced! Not suspicious -- of course you'd get your car fixed.  They find the old one in the trash, take some photos, and bring them to Hunky Detective:

The hood has two dents.  If she was conscious when she fell, there would just be one.  The Dead Lady was drugged, unconscious, or already dead.  

Scene 10: Hunky Detective doesn't care, so Ola and the Scoobies get busy recreating the last days of Monika's life.  She had broken up with her boyfriend, but they stayed friends, and he wasn't in Lodz the day of her death.  Not a suspect.

The night she died, she went to a college party -- with Ola's Uber fare!

Scene 11: While Ola tracks down the fare, Henryk explains their relationship to Hunky Detective: When she was 13, her father died in a car crash.  He was the auto forensics expert assigned to the case, and they bonded.  He became a father figure.  Also her inspiration to investigate weird cases.

Meanwhile, Ola interrogates the fare: At the party, the Dead Lady said that she had just broken up with her boyfriend, and was anxious to start "the new chapter in her life."  

The new chapter arrived, and she left with him: Wojtek Kraszewski (Kamil Wodka, left), the son of the chief investigator, who closed the case right away.  Obviously the Hookup killed her, then called Daddy to clean up his mess!

Scene 12: The Scoobies find the Hookup's last post, from Pilsudski Park, 20 minutes before the Dead Lady fell (or was pushed) from the overpass.

But the park is 25 minutes from the overpass.  How could the Hookup have killed her, carried her body to the parking lot, and driven to the overpass in that time?  They experiment, with Hunky Detective carrying Ola -- even running, it takes 8 minutes to get to the parking lot.  Then a 25 minute drive in 12?  You'd have to speed and run red lights -- not smart with a body in your car.

I'll stop there.  I don't want to give away the ending.

Beefcake:  Hunky Detective shows a bulge.  Otherwise nothing.

Other Sights: Quite a lot of Lodz.

Heterosexism:  A few incidental references, like Marek's wife telling him it's time for sex because she's ovulating.  I expected "will they or won't they?" anger- flirting between Ola and Hunky Detective, but it wasn't there, at least not in the first episode.

Gay Characters: Hunky Detective and Henryk don't display any heterosexual interest.  They probably have dead wives in their back stories, but it wasn't referenced here.  There was also some girl-on-girl kissing at the party.

Plot Twists:  There are plenty of amateur detectives out there who run rings around the cops, but the addition of the scoobies made Ola's transformation into Miss Marple seem fresh.  

My Grade: A-

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

The last place you'd expect to find gay content is in a movie about a brothel for heterosexuals, with no gay characters.  But The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is loaded down with gay symbolism.

The Chicken Ranch is a nice, cozy, down-home whorehouse in rural Texas, run by the heart-of-gold Miss Mona, and ignored by sheriff and occasional customer Ed Earl.  When a crusading tv reporter named Melvin P. Thorpe finds out that "There's a Whorehouse in Texas!" and starts a Moral Majority protest, Miss Mona isn't concerned; she's handled right-wing bigots before.  Besides, she's busy preparing for the annual visit by the winners of the big college football game (who sing "The Aggie Song" with their shirts off).

Turns out that Miss Mona was short-sighted; the tv crusade galvanizes the religious bigots, many of whom are customers "on the downlow."  Eventually the Governor himself, though a master of "the Side Step," calls to announce that the brothel must be shut down.  Defeated, Miss Mona and the girls get on "The Bus from Amarillo" and scatter to new lives.

It's a bit racy for high school and college drama departments, but there have been some productions, In March 2013, the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington, DC, sponsored an all-male version.

When the original play opened on Broadway in 1978, Anita Bryant's "Save Our Children" campaign was in the air, and fundamentalists were increasingly abandoning their old bogies of feminism, paganism, and evolution to scream "There are Gays in Our Town!"  Audiences could hardly fail to make the connection.

The movie adaptation arrived in July 1982, at the height of Jerry Falwell's anti-gay Moral Majority crusade, and gay director Colin Higgins made the symbolism even more obvious, with an ongoing romance between Miss Mona (Dolly Parton) and Ed Earl (Burt Reynolds) that must be hidden ("Sneakin' Around").

Plus lots of wink-wink casting: perennially gay-coded Dom Deluise as Melvin P. Thorpe, and open-secret Jim Nabors as sympathetic Deputy Fred.

And an increase in the beefcake.  Burt Reynolds, who previously posed naked in Cosmo, hangs out in a towel, Dom Deluise hangs out in his underwear, and the Texas Aggies sing in the locker room fully nude (lots of rear shots, and even a few frontals if you freeze frame).

See also: 10 Stage Musicals with Unexpected Beefcake.

"The Lake": Sleazy Mayor Jerry O'Connell wants a three-way with Justin and his date. What's a gay guy to do?

Link to the nude photos

I already reviewed the first episode of The Lake, a comedy about a gay guy who returns to the Lake where he spent summers during his childhood, with plots about bonding with the teenage daughter he never met and trying to save his grandfather's beloved cabin.  I want to review Episode 4 because: it features a gay three-way with 1990s heartthrob Jerry O'Connell

Link to NSFW version

Scene 1: Everyone is cheering at the junior lifeguard trials. Justin (Jordan Gavaris, left) and his Daughter watch from a distance and make fun of them.  But they're only being slightly sarcastic today, because they have won a victory: the board voted against the Evil Maisy's scheme to renovate (that is, tear down) the cottage Justin visited in as a child -- he never actually lived there, but he is desperate to keep it the way it was, a sort of anchor to his past.  Most of the plot arcs involve Jason trying to keep the cottage out of Evil Maisy's clutches.  

Speak of the Devil: Evil Maisy drops by to introduce Jason to Gil the Thrill (Jerry O'Connell), who  is running for Mayor.  Gloating, Evil Maisy notes that the Mayor can re-classify the cottage as a farmhouse, which doesn't need Board approval to be...torn down!  

To make matter's worse, he's hot for Jason!  Dude, maybe you could convince him to not-reclassify the cottage by getting on your knees? No, not to beg.

Scene 2: By the way, Daughter's Crush (Jared Scott), who also happens to be Evil Maisy's son, won the lifeguard contest.  The first Chinese-Canadian Junior Lifeguard in Lake history!  He gets his sash and the keys to the legendary Boathouse while Mom, Dad, and his brother Opal (Declan Whaley) watch.  No, Opal is not trans, or nonbinary.  He's a femme gay boy.  

After the boys leave to hang out with Justin's Daughter, Evil Maisy and her Semi-Evil Husband (Terry Chen, left) discuss the evil scheme.  "Remember, Dear, this is Justin's fault.  He sabotaged my previous play to destroy his childhood memories, mwah-ha-ha, so, so stay frosty."

Scene 3: Justin is going through withdrawal from junk food due to Daughter's health consciousness, so he runs into the Tuck Shop, sneaks behind the counter, and grabs some chips. Manager Riley (Travis Nelson, below) appears. Beep! Gil the Thrill (mayoral candidate Jerry O'Connell) is contacing them both on Grindr.  Nice chest, and he's into three-ways, but he's in cahoots with Evil Maisy!  

Scene 4: Cut to Daughter and her Crush discussing the evil scheme.  Even though he's Evil Maisy's son, Crush wants to keep the cabin, for a reason too complicated (and gross) to explain. 

After Crush leaves, Scandinavian Hippie Ulrika comes in with a fish to be tested for herpes.  A big deal --if it tests positive, they have to close down the lake for weeks-- no boating, swimming, waterskiing, or construction.  Hmm -- Daughter has a idea.

Scene 5: Justin talks to Jayne, apparently his only Ally in the cabin plot.  She is upset because Daugher's Crush won Junior Lifeguard instead of her own daughters. "Grr...Evil Maisy and her family ruin every.  The next time I see hre, I'm going to tell her...."  Whoops, at that moment Gil the Thrill appears. "...how excited I am about her cook-out tonight.  I'm bringing crab cakes."

When she leaves, Gil gets down to business: is Justin into hooking up, or what?  "No way -- you're on Evil Maisy's team, trying to destroy my childhood memories!"  But, he says, he might change his mind about the issue while Justin is on his knees. Hey, that's sexual coercion! I know, I thought of it first. 

:"Thanks, but I have a date with Riley tonight." "Bring him along, and it's a done deal.  I'll stick it to Evil Maisy after I stick it to you."

More sticking after the break

Jeremy Allen White: "Shameless," "The Bear," a sex tape, and a drag Little Orphan Annie

  

I had no idea who Jeremy Allen White was until I saw this Calvin Klein commercial. A chest with no head.

And a disembodied bulge.

According to the IMDB, he is currently starring in The Bear, as a chef trained in haute cuisine who is forced to become a cook in a rundown greasy spoon.  I haven't seen it --- I heard it was intensely homophobic.

Here he appears to be walking down a corridor plastered with newspapers, showing his tats but not his face.

He also stars in The Iron Claw, about three wrestling brothers who face constant tragedy.  I haven't seen that, either -- f*k the sadness.  Um...another disembodied bulge?

Come on, when are we going to see this guy's face?

He displays a butt and a partial dick in Shameless.  Jeremy played Lip, the most intellectual of the sons of crime boss Frank Gallagher.

Jeremy showed his butt quite often during the series, usually while having sex with a girl.

She's hard to see here, with your eyes naturally drawn to the books, but the feminine is a constant focus of his phallus.

Another where he's mounting a girl from behind, and there's a naked girl mural on the wall behind him.  Yuck.

Sorting through this excessive heterosexism is becoming tedious.  You'd better have an enormous cock or a world-class handsomeness, dude.

Cock: there's a sex tape, but he's literally having sex with a girl. I tried to crop all that junk out. 

Face: In the 2023 movie Fingernails, Jeremy climbs into the shower with someone and starts soaping their back.  I watch with the sound off, and there are no subtitles, so I can't tell if it's a boy or a girl, but given his track record, I'm going to guess girl.  And we see his face.

One more: Jeremy showing off his Little Orphan Annie look.  Sort of a retro drag queen persona, isn't it?

See also:  

Steve Howey: Gay ally happy to show his dick on camera

The 12 Bare Butts of Animal Kingdom