Aleks Kurdzielewicz: Femme boy from Poland with some gay subtext roles and Pride merch. And grown-up co-star d*cks, of course.

Link to the n*de photos

My "Profiles to Do" folder has guys that I added with minimal research, and now, for some of them, I don't remember why.  Have they played gay characters?  Are they gay in real life?  Are there n*de photos?

For instance,  Aleks Kurdzielewicz, a femme boy model and actor from Poland. 

1. Has he played gay characters?

Aleks has nine acting credits on the IMDB, all in Polish or German productions.  Let's hope that they're available to stream in the U.S.

2020: 

Berek, a music video by Plan Be (Bartosz Krupa). Bartosz is chased by men in black masks past a school classroom, a blond women, teenagers smoking, a man and a woman on a couch, and a depressed looking family on a park bench.  Eventually they join him.  Sounds like a critique of the heterosexist job, house, wife, kids trajectory.

2022:

How I Fell in Love with a Gangster, about the rise of infamous gangster Nikos Skotarczak (Tomasz Wlosok, p*nis on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  Aleks plays the young Nikos.

An episode of Professional Secrecy (2022), about a woman discovering dark secrets about her husband

2023:

An episode of Na sygnale, about paramedics.  Starring Dariusz Wieteska, left, who has been in 434 episodes to date.

An episde of Dzielnica strachu, about cops fighting crime.

2024:

Oderbruch: Lucas Gregorowicz plays a detective solving a murder in the Oderbruch region of Germany, near the Polish border.  Aleks plays his son. 

Two episodes of Ojciec Mateusz, about a priest (Artur Zmijewski) who solves murders in his spare time. Over 400 to date. 

 He posts a scene where he's getting dressed up and wears his dad's cologne, but he calls it "perfume."  He doesn't mention having a date with a girl.  Sounds like the kid is queer-coded.

The n*de photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends is from Artur's performance piece "The Whole One."  Or it might be another Artur.

More after the break

"Stuart Fails to Save" two Brian Smiths and two Josh Brenners. One is gay-ish, one has adult photos, one went to Harvard, and one is Santa Claus.

 

Link to the n*de photos

I didn't watch The Big Bang Theory (2007-2019) much; the girl-crazy horniness and casual homophobia were too annoying.  But I liked the prequel Young Sheldon (2017-2024), so I decided to give the spin-off Stuart Fails to Save the Universe (2026) a try: 

Stuart (Kevin Sussman), who owned the guys' comic book hangout, and his scoobies zap between parallel worlds, trying to fix the interdimensional transport device that threatens to destroy the universe.

After an episode and a half, I had enough.  The parallel worlds were dull, the jokes unfunny, and the guys spent too much time discussing their failures with women.  Stuart's side quest is to convince the Woman of His Dreams that they were destined to be together, yawn.

But I liked the guys, buddies or boyfriends,  shopping at the comic book store in each episode: Zack (Brian J. Smith, left) and Trevor (Josh Brenner, right and top photo). 

Plus, when I checked for n*de photos, I scored with Brian (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Brian J. Smith was born in Dallas in 1981, and received a B.A. from Collin College and a M.F.A. in drama from Juliard.  He has a number of theatrical credits, including A Clockwork Orange, The Glass Menagerie, and  Good Boys and True.  

His on-screen career begins with Hate Crime (2005), playing a gay man who is victimized by his next-door neighbor, son of a fundamentalist preacher.

A nice beginning, buddy. 

Stargate Universe (2011-13): Soldiers and civilians are trapped on a spaceship "billions of light years from Earth."  Brian plays Lt. Matthew Scott, second in command.  He's religious and straight, with several past and present girlfriends.

Sens8 (2015-18): A science fiction drama about eight strangers who share a psychic connection: they can actually zap into each other's consciousness.  At one point they all hook up  in a hot tub.  Brian plays Will Gorski, a Chicago police officer.  He is straight (except for multidimensional hookup), and gets a girlfriend.

Class of '09 (2023) refers to the FBI agents who graduated from Quantico in 2009, tracing their lives to the present (2023/2025) and future (2034). Brian plays Daniel Lennix, who becomes FBI Associate Deputy Director in "the present" and is retired in "the future."   He has a wife.

Ok, I found one: Haze (2024): A journalist (Cole Dolman, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) leaves rehab to return to his home town.  He hooks up with a local guy (Brian) while being depressed and investigating dark secrets.

Brian also directed A House is not a Disco (2024): "The present-day life experiences of those who live, work, and pursue a season of pleasure in the world's most radically queer, "homo-normative" community: Fire Island Pines.

Two gay characters and director of a gay documentary.  Not bad, but not great, either.  Let's see if the guy is gay in real life:

More after the break.  

"You Spin Me Round": The Theme Song of 300 Sunday Afternoons in a Leather Bar

In West Hollywood, gay bars always had a theme song that you would hear over and over, at least once an hour, every time you visited.

 I went to Mugi, the Asian bar in Hollywood, almost every Saturday night, sometimes Wednesday or Friday, too.  That means that I heard "One Night in Bangkok" at least 300 times.

I went to the Faultline, the leather bar on Melrose, near Los Angeles City College, almost every Sunday afternoon for their Beer and Soda Bust.  The traditional schedule was Church 10:30 am, brunch at the French Quarter 12:00, Gym 2:00 pm, and the Faultline by 4:00 pm.  We hung out on the patio unless it was raining, and it never rains in Southern California.

Around 6:00 pm we left, and picked up tangerine chicken on the way home to eat while watching The Simpsons, Married...with Children, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, and Sliders (Jerry O'Connell, sigh).

Sometimes I went on Friday or Saturday nights, too.  So I must have heard their song over 1,000 times.

I never heard it anywhere else. I didn't know the title or the group, and I didn't bother asking.

It seemed to be a Gay Pride anthem:

Open up the closet door, watch out, here I come.

Although some of the lyrics seemed to involve a bar pickup:

You, I don't even know your name, baby.

You, I want to get you alone, baby.

With a chorus:
Round, round, round, round, something something baby, round round round round.

Years later, I heard the song again, at the gym of all places, and it brought me back to those many nights and Sunday afternoons surrounded by shirtless and leather-clad men.  When I got home, I did an internet search.


It's "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)", by the British band Dead or Alive, released in December 1984, peaked at #4 on the dance charts in January 1985.

Boy, did I get the lyrics wrong!  The "gay pride anthem":

Not: Open up the closet door, watch out, here I come.

But:  Open up your lovin' arms, watch out here I come.

Not: You, I don't even know your name, baby/ You, I want to get you alone, baby

But: If I, I get to know your name, baby / Then I could trace your private number, baby

So you're planning to stalk him?

No specific gay content, although the lead singer of the bad was the fabulously feminine Peter Burns (bottom left), an androgyne in the mold of Boy George, who married a woman and then a man, but divorced him and declared in homophobic contempt that "gay marriage doesn't work.  It's better to marry a woman."

Other members were Mike Percy, Steve Coy, and Tim Lever.

I'm still trying to figure out why an androgynous dance number was the theme song in a leather bar with no androgyny and no dancing.

It doesn't really matter.  Even though I know the lyrics now, I still can hear in my head the gay pride anthem from 300 Sunday afternoons at the Faultline:

Open up the closet door, watch out, here I come.

See also: One Night in Bangkok

Call it Thunder: 40 Years of Fleetwood Mac

Chad Allen: The Dr. Quinn hunk is outed, but still plays heterosexual romantic leads and a gay detective. With his cock and 1990s San Francisco

Hung Harvey: I hook up with the boyfriend of Sabrina the Teenage Witch

My 20 Coming Out Movies, from "Bomba the Jungle Boy" to "American Gigolo." With a surprising number of n*de dudes.

 In the Nazarene Church, going to a movie theater was a serious sin, so I only went two or three times before high school, when I started sneaking out to the Showcase Cinemas in the next town.  But I saw a lot of movies on tv, and some had some gay-vague characters, buddy-bonding subtexts, or beefcake that told me "The adults are lying, only real is real."   

These are my top 20 coming out movies, arranged by premiere date. I may have seen them a few years later.

1. Bomba the Jungle Boy  (1949-54). The former Tarzan's Boy always got a girlfriend and never buddy bonded with anyone, but who paid attention to the plot?

Can I play with your spear?

2. The Magic Sword (1962). A bizarre, gruesome plot with a heterosexist ending, but it was worth it to see a shirtless Gary Lockwood tied up and fondled.

3. Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964).  Paul Mantee crash lands on Mars, rescues a muscular alien from slavers, and the gay-subtext romance is amazing.

We'll put the guest bath over there, and over by the foyer...

4. Viva La Vegas (1964).  Elvis and Cesare Danova find each other.

There's a thousand hot dudes waitin' out there
And they're all livin' devil may care
And I'm just the devil with a p*enis to spare
So Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas

5. Kilroy was Here (1965). In a three-movie series, Warren Berlinger saves small-town Wilton Junction, gets a boyfriend, and succumbs to hetero destiny.

6. Village of the Giants (1965).  Dreamy Tommy Kirk and his friends (including Beau Bridges and Tim Rooney, right) magically turn into giants and dance in beefcake-heavy togas.

"So, if we're thirty feet tall, that means that six inches turns into..."

7. The Secret of Boyne Castle (1969)  Kurt Russell as an exchange student in Ireland runs afoul of spies, and flees through the countryside with bystander Patrick Dawson.  At one point, they smile at each other.  That smile changes the world.

8. The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969).  College boy Kurt Russell (sigh) gets zapped by lightning and turns into a human computer.  He is kidnapped and rescued by his friends (Michael McGreevy and Lassie boy Jon Provost).  I don't remember a Girl of His Dreams.

9. The Cube (1969). Richard Schack is trapped in a square. windowless room.  Other people come in to taunt or advise him, but he can't escape until he realizes that nothing is real. 

10. If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium (1969). Wacky American tourists in Europe, with Luke Halpin (top photo) as a hippie and Ian McShane as the world-weary tour gude.  There are some queer codes, but mostly it's about escape.

More after the break

Brandon Spink: The young Batman, Jack*ss, and Baelfire takes a girl to the prom but comes out later. Maybe. With his stuff and Superman's backside

  

Link to the not fully clothed photos

Recently I profiled Mason McKenzie, who played Gideon in Once Upon a Time, where all of the Disney fantasy characters you've ever heard of are connected in a huge genealogy.  I thought I would research some of the other actors that gave me a gay vibe.  First up, femme boy Brandon Spink, who played Baelfire, son of Rumpelstiltskin and his first wife (making him Gideon's half-brother).  He is briefly swayed by the gay freedom offered by Peter Pan's Lost Boys, but in the end accepts his hetero destiny and marries Emma Swan.  Their son becomes the Chosen One. 

Let's see if the same thing happened the real-life Brandon (center).

Spink, by the way, comes from an Old English word for "finch."  It's not a bad word.

According to an article in Oz Magazine, Brandon was born in 1995 in Marietta, Georgia, and began acting on stage at age seven, playing Captain Hook's life partner Smee in Peter Pan.  After minor parts in Game of Your Life (2011), with Nathan Kress, and Devil's Knot (2013), with Colin Firth, he hit the big time in 2015, playing the young version of the Jack*ss star  a tv pilot called Untitled Johnny Knoxville Project. 

The young Johnny is a prankster and rebel growing up in the "outlaw culture" of 1980s Knoxville, Tennessee. 

N*de Johnny Knoxville is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

That same year, Brandon was cast as the young Bruce Wayne in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016).  Playing the iconic figure was "a dream come true" for the boy.  Plus he got to work with Ben Affleck (grown-up Bruce), Henry Cavill (Superman, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), and Jeremy Irons (Alfred the Butler).

Next came Game of Silence (2016), with childhood secrets threatening a successful lawyer; the teenage Baelfire in Once Upon a Time (2017); Berlin Station (2017), about CIA agents in Germany; and a few show that I've never heard of.

Brandon's next big break was in Fear Street: Part Two (2021), the second in a trilogy about paranormal events in a small town in different historic periods.  In 1978, it's a summer camp, with fear.  Brandon's character, Will Goode, is the mayor of the town, with wife and kids, in Part 1 (1994).  As a teenager, he bullies the other teens and survives the night.

There are lesbian characters in every Fear Street episode, but gay men do not exist.

In 2025 Brandon appeared in four episodes of the sports drama All American, as a random football player; and three episodes of NCIS: Origins, about the NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigation Service) in the 1990s, as the teenage version of agent Michael Franks (played by Michael Erik White, on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Michael seems to be gay in real life, but the character is straight.  

In fact, all of Brandon's characters have been straight or straight-by-default. 

He'd better be gay in real life, or what am I doing this for?

More after the break

Survival of the Thickest: Mavis and her nemesis spar in Paris, Khalil and Luca "get closer," and who the heck is Lopez? With his d*ck and n*de models

Link to the n*de dudes

I wasn't planning to review Survival of the Thickest, about a thick black woman finding body positivity as a fashion designer.  But Queerty said that it had gay representation, and one of the cast members, somebody with the last name Lopez (I didn't record the first name), appeared on the n*de celebrity subreddit, so I figured I'd give it a shot. 

In Episode 3.4, "C'est la vie, Bitch," they visit Paris Fashion Week, while back in New York, Khalil and Luca "connect." They must be the gay couple, and there'll be shots of Paris. 

Khalil is played by Tone Bell, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Scene 1: Mavis and her friend on a tour bus, shouting "I'm a designer!"  They reach their destination, the Victoria Palace Hotel , but they're actually staying at the horrible hostel next door.

"It's got character," Mavis says, trying to look on the bright side. "It's got [a vulgar term for lady parts]"  

"It smells like an 18th century pap smear."  A lot of lady part jokes.

She likes the doorknobs in the center, like a belly button, and asks the concierge if she can check his belly button.  He refuses.

Scene 2: Seven flights of stairs and a hallway bathroom, but there's a view of the Eiffel Tower from the window.  Of course -- on tv every Parisian hotel room looks out at the Eiffel Tower, even if  it's miles away and facing the wrong direction.   Mavis washes up  with a handi-wipe, while they discuss how far they've come in two years.

Whomp, someone farts.  Turns out that the ladies have a roommate sleeping under the covers in the top bunk.  

Scene 3: Luca (Marouane Zotti), the one who's going to connect with Khalil (hopefully by kissing), is counseling a refugee couple, assuring them that they'll get housing soon.  They also need a job.  "I promise that you'll..."

His coworker Donny Wang (Ronnie Chien) butts in to tell them that their chances are slim,  When they leave, he advises "Never promise anything.  Keep their expectations vague...."

In other news, a girl asked him to DJ at the gentlemen's club tonight.  

"Sorry. I have plans with friends," Luca tells him.

"Oh, I wasn't inviting you.  I was bragging about all the n*ked ladies I'm going to see."  Ugh, a character whose shtick is being a slimebag.  

Left: Ronnie seems to be gay in real life.

Scene 4: Mavis is giving a pep talk to her models, telling them to "eye f*ck" everyone.  There are some androgynous and genderqueer types, and some plus-sized, like David Ventakapen (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).   They walk across a portico (with the Eiffel Tower in the background, of course) and get photographed.  Then Mavis is introduced to thunderous applause.   A journalist tells her that the genderqueer outfit has made her the Best New Renegade of Fashion Week, which comes with a Vogue cover.  And she's invited to the Vogue party tonight.  Wait -- she's the most renowned fashion designer in the world, but she's staying in a youth hostel?

Suddenly Mavis almost collapses in pain, but her friend tells her to dance it off.  Chekhov's Gun: This better be important.

And when are we getting to the Lopez guy?

Scene 5: They have time before the Vogue party tonight, so we get a montage of the usual.  They want to take a boat tour, but the tour guide won' sell them tickets, even though the boat is only half full. And when they try to go to a restaurant, the waiter (Theo Pham) tellsl them that it's closed.  Racism plotline? About 10% of the French population has African ancestry, more in big cities.

They try a Senegalese restaurant in the Black neighborhood, Château Rouge in the 18th Arrondissement,  and are served immediately.   "I like Black Paris a little better than the rest of Paris," the Friend muses.

Khalil and Luca getting close after the break

Kelton Dumont's Hot Photos, Part 3: Birthday biceps, bare backsides, rugger d* cks, tie up games, and Jacob Tremblay

 

Link to the n*de photos

This is a collection of cute/cool or hot/h*ng photos of actor Kelton Dumont, best known as Pontius in The Righteous Gemstones.  I made some changes, and added a few. 

1. "I've been working out."  

That's a photo of Dominik Togyela.  But the resemblance is uncanny.

2. Flashback to the filming of the Gemstones series finale.  

"Please, this is a private conversation.  We're talking about hot guys...um, I mean girls..."

3. Kelton gets a homemade sign to welcome him to Leigh, a village near Manchester, England.

No, I'm not going to make a joke about getting some in Leigh.

4. Rugger Righteous Gemstones fans welcome Kelton to Manchester. 

Did you get any bubble and squeak?

5. Kelton and his Dad James attended the Sovreign premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2025.  It stars Nick Offerman and Jacob Tremblay as a father and son who become involved with the anti-government Sovreign Citizens movement.  

More after the break

Joey Beni: Bodybuilder appears in five gay tv shows with multiple n*de scenes, so he's obviously gay, right?

 

Link to the n*de photos

I don't usually have good luck with the guys depicted on the celebrity c*ck subreddit.  It seems like they either appeared in one movie 15 years ago and have no social media presence, or they are very famous in Lithuania but have no movies or tv shows available to stream in the U.S.  But I'll give Joey Beni a try because he has an Instagram page, 22 acting credits, and a 2025 interview in VoyageLA, which features "LA's most inspiring stories."

His bio is from the interview: Joey was born in San Diego in 1994.  His first acting gig was playing Aladdin in the San Diego Children's Theater. Later he moved to Florida and then to Virginia Beach, where he attended Tidewater Community College.  In 2006 he decided to become an actor, which means moving to L.A., so he saved up his  money for two years and drove out: "I had no friends, no family, and no job in LA. I was able to lock in an apartment over the phone so all I had was an address, my life savings, and a dream."  

He studied comedy with the Groundlings and acting at the Archibald Studio, and started auditioninng. 

 Joey wonders why his friends are getting acting roles so easily, and he is so often left behind.  Maybe you need more n*de photos?   He got one job because the guy they cast had to drop out, so they asked him to substitute at the last minute. He complains that acting is 90% luck, 10% talent.

Not too inspiring, buddy.  Actually, you sound a little bitter.  

After 18 years in the business, Joey has some industrial videos (The Benefits of Sunscreen, Sexual Harassment in the Workplace), some tv commercials, a drug prevention PSA, and a dating show, The Hook-Up.

That last show sounds promising, but it was actually heterosexual only.  Joey's episode features contestant Ray using social media to choose from between "four lovely ladies."  

Those 22 acting credits listed on the IMDB are mostly small roles, often unnamed characters:

Contestant #1 in Youthful Days (2014), starring Bryan James as a guy with two personalities.

Hot Guy #1 in an episode of Go-Go Boy Interrupted (2016): Jimmy Fowlie stars as a "go-go boy" who is approaching 30 and aging out of the business, with no other marketable skills. Being big won't get you a job staring at a computer screen in a cubicle. Gay actor Brian Jordan Alvarez, Scott Evans, and Nick Adams appeared, and Lynne Marie Stewart of Pee-Wee's Playhouse, who I thought was a drag queen until recently, plays Go-Go's Mom.

The Other Cowboy in Country Thunder (2017).

In M.F.A. (2017), an art student turned vigilante, targeting rapists got away with it, like former teen idol Michael Welch, Kyle Pettis (left), and Joey.

Wedding Photographer in a 2022 episode of Days of Our Lives.

S*xy Man in a 2022 episode of DemonHuntr, featuring two gay guys whose side hustle is paranormal investigation.  Apparently they don't investigate many n*de ghosts; only Joey  and Jason Caceres (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) show their stuff.

Man in B*ndage #1 in Babylon (2023), which I found too disgusting to get through.

More after the break

Five things I like and five that I don't like about "My Brother, the Minotaur." #5 involves backsides and Ely d*ck

  

Link to the n*de photos

My Brother the Minotaur (2026) is an Irish animated series about a minotaur boy named Lorcan being raised by humans.

In Greek mythology, the Minotaur is a monster, the offspring of Pasiphaë and a bull, hidden away in the Labyrinth and fed human youth, but here minotaurs are humanoid beings with massive torsos and bull-horns.

Lorcan's questions about his heritage become urgent as he enters his teen years, and begins experiencing rage, hardening horns (symbolic of something or other), and disturbing nightmares.  Meanwhile, strange things are happening in the village.  His younger brother Charlie helps him investigate.

After watching several episodes, here is my evaluation:

Things I like:

1. The animation is very impressive, with stone cottages and dark forests  drawn in loving detail. The Kilkenny-based Cartoon Saloon wanted something unique, different from what other teen cartoons were doing.

2. The Irish culture.  They live on Bryony Island, named after an indigenous clinging vine.  Lorcan means "fierce one" in Irish.  You see the Irish flag and currency.  

3. Antagonist Craignelder's son Wesley Junior (Elliot Grihault, top photo and below) feels guilty about his involvement in his father's evil schemes, and may be working toward becoming an ally.  He has a poster of a sword-and-sorcery muscleman on his bedroom wall, an easy-to-miss queer code.

4. Lorcan (Ely Solan, left) and his brother have two female friends, but they never pair off into romantic dyads.  Actually, the girls have a lesbian subtext relationship of their own.

5. Many of the voice cast are queer in real life or have played gay characters.  

Ely Solan (Lucan), age 28, has a girlfriend, but he also has some potential n*de pics online (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

Billy Jenkins (Charlie, the brother, left) emphasized the queer undertones as the Artful Dodger in Oliver! on stage and the tv series Dodger.

Billie Boulet (Dana, the tall, thin female friend) emphasizes the queer undertones in Anne Frank's story in A Small Light.

Michael Sheen (Antagonist Craignelder) has played several gay characters, including Robbie Ross, Oscar Wilde's boyfriend, in Wilde (1997); the closeted Carlos in Nocturnal Animals (2016); and the angel Aziraphale, who is in love with the demon Crowley in Good Omens (2019).

Elliot Grihault (his son, Wesley Jr ) is reputedly gay in real life.

More after the break

Orphans of the Sky: Gay Hints in a Curmudgeon's Science Fiction Universe

When I was growing up, I loved the juvenile science fiction novels of Robert Heinlein (1907-1988): originally published during the 1950s Cold War, they featured boys bonding in a rip-roaring cowboy future.  Plus the Ballentine paperbacks often featured beefcake.

His adult novels were unreadable, loaded down with disgusting s*x scenes, right-wing politics, and curmudgeonly grumbles about the state of the world. But in junior high and high school, I found a universe of gay hints.

My favorites, in order:

#10: Starman Jones (1953).  A muscular farmboyta longs to go to the stars.  Unfortunately, he gets a girlfriend.

#9: Stranger in a Strange Land (1961): A boy raised by Martians founds a hippie cult.  When he learns to kiss, he offers to demonstrate on his male mentor, who refuses.  But I learned that boys can kiss.

#8: Citizen of the Galaxy (1956): A rich kid is sold into slavery, but forms a buddy-bond with the guy who buys him.

#7: Time for the Stars (1956): Telepathic twins.  One stays home, goes into business, gets married, has children, the whole heterosexist trajectory.  The other goes into space for masculine adventures at near-light speed, so he stays a teenager forever.  The symbolism is obvious.

#6: Have Space Suit-Will Travel (1958): Heinlein wasn't good at envisioning social changes in his future societies.  The title is a parody of the tv series Have Gun -- Will Travel (1957-63), and the boy wins a used spacesuit in a tv jingle-writing contest.  He and a girl are captured by aliens. This edition makes her look much older, but she's only 11, and there's no hetero-romance.

#5: Starship Troopers (1959).  Rico trains to be a soldier in the war against the evil Communists -- um,  I mean aliens.  No hetero-romance.  The 1997 movie starred Casper Van Dien (top photo), Patrick Muldoon (left), and Neil Patrick Harris, and gave them girlfriends.

More after the break