May 22, 2022

Beefcake Boys in "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas"

What gay man of a certain age doesn't have a  fond memory of seeing The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982)?  Dolly Parton as the madam, Burt Reynolds as the sheriff, and the entire Texas Aggie football team naked in the locker room, singing about how a visit to the whorehouse is their reward for a winning season. 

Male rear nudity!  Very rare in 1982!

It's based on a 1978 Broadway musical, with Carlin Glynn as the madam, Henderson Forsythe as the sheriff, and, again, the entire Texas Aggie football team dancing in their underwear.

The controversial subject matter makes most community and little theaters shy away from it, and no high school will touch it at all, but occasionally you can find a performance, with local hunks playing Aggies parading about in their altogether.

1. Diamondhead Theater in Hawaii.  I wonder if they changed the Texas Aggies to whatever team the University of Hawaii Rainbow Warriors.

2.Frostburg Theater in Maryland puts the guys in pants rather than towels.  As long as their chests and shoulders are out, that's fine with me.

3. The Circle Theater in Chicago is cheating.  Underwear, but mostly t-shirts.  No fair!

4. Finger Lakes Musical Theater Festival in upstate New York gives us leaping cowboys.

5. Carpenter Square Theater in Oklahoma City, a real cowboy town.  But...white pants?

6. Hobby Center in Houston.  More cowboys, more white pants. 

7. Signature Theater in Washington, DC.  Pants, and open shirts instead of shirtless.  That's really cheating.

8.  The Broadway Rose Theater is in Tigart, Oregon, the other side of the continent from Broadway.  White pants and some t-shirts, not spectacular.

9.  The Palace Theater in Manchester, New Hampshire gives us some really buffed Aggies.  Too bad they can't lose the plaid shirts.

10. The Tokyo International Players hide behind a sheet.  Why don't they just draw a line across their penises, like Japanese porn?

See also: My review of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas


  1. They have pants and t-shirts on in some of the pictures because the Aggies strip out of their uniforms, then dress in jeans and cowboy boots & shirts during the song. By the end of the dance portion, they are fully clothed.

  2. Was male nudity rare in 1982? It seems to have gotten rarer, outside of foreign and arthouse pictures.

    1. Extremely rare. Women got naked all the time, but men, maybe in one or two movies per year. When you saw a bare male butt on screen, you called all your friends, and they rushed out to see the movie.

  3. It's a very gay production number just an excuse to get male dancers naked- by the way boomer did you hear about the recent scandal when some video was released from the shower scene from "Take Me Out" a play dealing with a gay baseball player which features lots of male ( including full frontal) nudity

    1. No, I'm not familiar with it

    2. Nude footage has always gotten out from that play. During the original run, it was Daniel Sunjata and currently, it is Jesse Williams. Both gorgeous, sexy multiracial actors from Chicago (my hometown). Daniel Sunjata looked GOOD in his leaked footage but Jesse Williams looked DAMNED GOOD. His penis looks like it has been fed Yahya Abdul-Mateen's penis from The Watchmen. He's taking a shower on stage in a cold theatre with hundreds watching him so there is a possibility that there is shrinkage. (#swoon #vapors)

    3. An aside: It's just Watchmen. (What's funny to me is how whenever DC revisits Watchmen, it's to say "Goddammit, not everything needs to be Watchmen!")

      But yeah, theatre companies are having trouble with video getting out, and nudes just make it more concerning.

  4. The white pants without a belt could be long underpants ("long johns"). But in that case the combination with cowboy boots is not logical: You need to take the boots off again to get your jeans on. Perhaps in some productions they did not get it, or they faced censorship and did this to at least suggest something. Or the white jeans are meant to communicate: "We look like cowboys, but we don't do manual labour, so our pants can't get dirty".


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