Fifteen glorious Gavins and magnificent muscle Munns from Ireland, Scotland, Australia, Ohio, and Hollywood

 

Link to the nude dudes

I already posted a photo collection of Gavin Munn's hunky father, brother, and cousins. These are additional Gavins and Munns, actors and civilian, who may or may not be relations. Probably not, but who cares?  Beefcake is beefcake.

 1. Gavin Leatherwood, who you may recall as Sabrina's witch-boyfriend on The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.  Here he investigates The Sex Lives of College Girls

2-3.  Father and son Munns from Northern Ireland.

4. Jonathan Gavin nude in Puberty Blues, an Australian comedy-drama about being pubescent in the 1970s.

5-6. Two Gavins from from County Down, Ireland. 

7.Darren Munn in Drink Me, 2015, about a gay couple with a sexy secret: they're vampires!

 8. A muscle Munn from Scotland

More Munns after the break

"Chewing Gum": Alien Afro-British girl wants to get laid, but her Bible-thumping boyfriend is gay. With Kenyan cock

 

We've completely run out of tv programs to watch in the evening, so  last night we picked something at random from HBO recommendations: Chewing Gum, which doesn't involve anyone chewing gum. It's a two-season Britcom set in the Afro-British community.  

Tracey (Michaela Cole, who also wrote and starred in the 2012 play) lives in the estate (project, in the U.S.) with her street-preacher mother, who lambasts lesbian couples in the square, and younger sister, who rarely leaves the apartment because Satan is prowling out there. 

Her boyfriend of six years, Ronald (John MacMillan), is a Bible-waving super-fundamentalist who constantly criticizes her for being poor, illiterate, and "loose." They haven't even kissed yet.  Can you guess what the big reveal is?

Another big reveal: Due to makeup artistry or CGI, Tracey does not look human.  Her face protrudes too far, her eyes have that "Classic Gray" loook, and her mouth is distractingly huge.  No one comments on this in the first episode, but she only interacts with people she knows.  Maybe she'll be outed as an alien later. 

 

Tracey has another option, if she ever decides to dump Bible Boy:  Connor (Robert Lonsdale), a street poet who writes about existential angst while sitting on a dumpster, tries an awkward flirtation that starts with telling her that she looks like a slave, then backtracking that he meant it in a good way.

Tracey's best friend Candace, who disgustingly eats peanut butter by sticking her finger in the jar, has a sex problem, too: her boyfriend Aaron (Kadiff Kirwan) is boring in bed, being all gentle and talking about how much he respects her.  She wants it rough. 

But when she suggests livening things up, he doesn't understand: "I respect you.  Why would I want to treat you roughly?"

"It's ok... you make sex moans like a little girl."  That just makes him cry like a little girl.

Best friend Candace invites Tracey to the big estate party, but it's her anniversary with Bible Boy, so she is dead-set on getting into his pants.  She dresses as slutty as she can during dinner, and back at his apartment, while he's looking for a book on how to not be slutty, she strips down to her underwear.  He freaks out, runs out of the house, and starts yelling that she is a whore. "To think that I was going to take you as a wife. For my foolishness, may God strike me down!"  He is then struck by a car.  

Tracey calmly calls 999 and goes to the party, where she runs into dumpster poet Colin.  They start making out, but as an alien she has no idea what to do and licks his eyebrows, sucks on his nose, and sits on his face while fully clothed. 

Tracey's sister, who saw the party going on and rushed across the street to fight Satan, bursts into the room and sees them!  

The end.

Beefcake: Two guys strip down to have sex with ladies.

Gay Characters:  Boy Tracey, a fruity guy dressed all in glitter, talks to the dumpster poet Connor at the party.  He only appears in one other episode, but he has sex with a bear BDSM bottom in that other one.

Bible Boy insists that he is straight throughout, in spite of a few hookups, only coming out in the last episode.

Will I Keep Watching: Probably not. Two seasons of denial sounds excessive, and there are too many disgusting bits -- people feeding each other, slurping food off their fingers...gross.

See also: Gemstones Episode 1.6: Scott flirts, BJ is spanked, and Kelvin hooks up. With bonus Kenyan cock

True Blood: Vampires come out of the closet amid a Southern Gothic soap opera, with some nude dudes

  

Link to the nude photos

Last night we latched onto True Blood, which ran from 2008 to 2014 on HBO.

This is the stereotypic South of Eudora Welty and Mama's Family, where people named Hoyt Fortenberry shop at the Piggly-Wiggly and drink sweet tea on the veranda, where everyone is related to everybody else's great-grand daddy once removed, and where the War means the Civil War...um, I mean the War of Yankee Aggression.   

It starts in media res, two years after vampires have "come out of the coffin," har har -- yep, the connection with LGBT people is just that heavy-handed -- due to the invention of artificial blood, brand name True Blood, which some humans have developed a taste for.  Snooty fratboy Brett (Josh Kelly, top photo), looking for a store that sells it, learns too late that every long-haired, multi-ringed Goth isn't a vampire; and sometimes chubby rednecks are.

We switch to the problems of Tara, who gets fired from or quits every job because she doesn't abide idiots and her best friend Sookie, who can read minds.  Sookie and soon Tara work at Merlotte's Bar, where the owner, Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell), is in love with her.  He won't come out with it, but of course Sookie can read his mind.

The only gay character so far is the bar's swishy cook, Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis), a stereotyped flamboyant, promiscuous queen who  claims he's done most of the men in town, and likes to flirt with racist, homophobic rednecks to get them all scared. He doesn't get a boyfriend until late in the series.

That same evening, the bar's other waitress, Maudette, hooks up with Sookie's brother, Jason (Ryan Kwanten).  She's a fangbanger, a human who likes sex with vampires, because they get rough.  She offers to show him the video, which turns him on so much that he wants to do rough sex, including strangling her...a little too enthusiastically.  And she's taping the encounter!

Ryan Kwanten's butt is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

More after the break

Kelton Dumont's nude photos, with new selfies, Jak, Gavin, and a bonus fratboy

  

Kelton Dumont, best known as Pontius on The Righteous Gemstones, has not been forthcoming with a lot of physique photos.  This shoulder and arm is about all you're going to see.  But nudity is another matter: he gave us a butt and partial dick shot on the show, and a search of hookup sites reveals some other possibilities.

Link to the nude photos

#1. Charleston, February 2024.  I think Kelton was at Bennington College during that month.  

We know that Kelton went back to brunette, and they were filming Righteous Gemstones Season 4 in June 2024, so how does this one look:

#2. Hair is too long, but same size cock as the other one.  A possibility.

On to the canonical nudity:

 

In Righteous Gemstones Season 3, Pontius has become a surly, profanity-spewing, tattooed thug, rejected by every college he applied to, constantly making out with his girlfriend Makayla. Jesse makes him promise to not have sex in the house.

More Kelton after the break

The Harlan Coben Channel...I mean Netflix. 8 tv series with unraveling families, secrets, lies, butts, and cocks

 

You may have noticed that Netflix has turned into an all-Harlen Coben channel.  I had never heard of him before tv series based on his novels started pushing out all other content, but probably with good reason.  The tv series all have identical plots: a dead loved one, a funeral, someone who vanishes, a amily man or woman's "perfect life" starts to unravel due to the dark secrets that they or a loved one are hiding; and LGBT people do not exist.  But some of the family men are hunky, so...

1. Michael C. Hall in Safe: A close-up of family man Mikey's wedding ring as he stands at his wife's funeral with his three daughters, one of whom refuses to hold his hand. A year later, he rushes into surgery, then returns to his secure neighborhood to a community barbecue, with nuclear familys playing paddleball and eating burgers.  

His teenage daughter still hates him, but not to worry, she'll soon go missing, and her boyfriend will be dead, and there will be secrets and lies. 

2. Kai Alexander in  The Stranger.  While teens frolick at a bonfire, a young man runs naked through the woods, being chased by something. Sounds paranormal, but it isn't; he was just flirting with somebody else's girlfriend. 

Twelve hours earlier, nuclear family dad Richard Armitage drops one of sons off at some sort of practice and takes the other to a Dads vs. Lads soccer game. Soon his perfect life will unravel as The Stranger reveals some secrets and lies.

Teenage son Jacob Dudman, top photo, is also keeping some secrets and lies.

3. Hubert Milkowski in The Woods: A Polish production. A bearded man has a gun pointed at him.  He flashes back to the summer of 1994, in the woods outside a summer camp, where the police are loading a body while  gazes fearfully from his hiding place  

 Cut to the day before, when the campers, 90% girls with big breasts, are frolicking -- dancing aimlessly, blowing on whirligigs, raising their hands.  Why do people frolick so much in these tv shows?  I've never seen anyone do it in real life.  We do get a chest shot of the boy as he emerges from the water to flirt with a girl. 

 He grow up to be attorney Grzegorz Damiecki, whose perfect life with wife and teenage daughter begins to unravel. 

4. Draegon Hennessey in Hold Tight: A sequel to The Woods.  A depressed woman watches a video of her or someone else frolicking with a baby, then a middle aged man frolicking with a toddler.

Next up, Adam's fifth birthday, with lots of slobbery kisses, and teenage Adam arm-wrestling.. 

Deespondent, she trudges to his room -- hey, he's not dead, just alseep! Why has she spent the last five minutes of air time mourning him?  She steals his cell phone to snoop at his messages.

Their perfect lives seem rather unraveled already, with a looney Mom mourning a living son, but the plot is about Adam's best friend vanishing, with secrets and lies. Sorry, they're both identified as straight immediately 

More after the break

Devon Werkheiser: Ned's Declassified gay panic, gay friends, bare butts, and a nude Nolan Gould

 

Link to the bare butts and nude Gould

20 years ago, when LGBTQ people could never be mentioned on kids' tv, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide (2004-2007) was a gay-subtext classic.

Ned (Devon Werkheiser) offers tips for surviving middle school, always saying "When you like someone" rather than "When  boy likes a girl."

An episode about puberty discusses hair in weird places and sudden fits of rage, but not "discovering the opposite sex."

The bully Loomer (Kyle Swann) who has a gay-subtext friendship with his crony, struggles to "come out" about his interest in fashion design -- as close to "gay" as they could get.

Buddy Jennifer is afraid to ask the school hunk (Alex Black) for a date, so Ned volunteers to do it.  The hunk believes that Ned wants the date, and replies “Sure, but just as friends. I like you, Ned, but not in that way," boldly implying that gay dating is commonplace at Polk Middle School.

Ned tries to cheer up the depressed Marc Downer by getting him a date with a cheerful boy.  When that doesn't work, he tries a depressed girl.

A Buzzfeed article on "21 Actors Who Came Out after Playing LGBTQ Characters" states that Ned was gay, but Nickelodeon was not permitting gay characters at the time, and I seem to recall Ned getting a girlfriend.  It also states that Devon is gay in real life, but he's married to a woman, so probably not.

I don't even think that someone who was 13 years old when the show began had a major role in pushing the boundaries of Nickelodeon homophobia.  Let's see if Devon has done anything gay-inclusive since.  

After the School Survival Guide, Devon capitalized on his teencom fame with Shredderman Rules Christmas in Paradise, and Love at First Hiccup, where his characters win the Girls of their Dreams.

Seven episodes of Greek, a drama about a college fraternity.  He played Peter Parkes, aka "Spidey," a new pledge in Season 4. 

In the 2010s, he moved into thrillers with Beneath the Darkness, about a group of teens trying to find their friend's murderer, and The Wicked, about a group of teens fighting a witch.

California Scheming sounds like a comedy, but it's actually a thriller: "A teen seductress pulls three other privileged Malibu kids into her devious scheme, and unforeseen consequences force the group to face their own fears and mortality." Sounds awful, but at least it gives us an underwear bulge.  

The guy running away with him is Spencer Daniels.

According to the reviews, Sundown (2016) starts out a teen sex comedy and turns dark.  Plus it's "strictly offensive...trans- and homophobic and downright degrading, according to the L.A. Times.  Devon and his buds show their butts during a "gay panic" scene.

More after the break

Gemstones Season 1 Finale: Judy and Kelvin start to heal, Scotty joins the family, and we say goodbye with some random dicks

Link to the Season Finale Cocks

Showrunner Danny McBride has stated that he wants every season of his programs to tell a complete story: no callbacks to previous seasons, and no cliffhangers.  By the finale, every plotline has been resolved and every character development arc has been concluded.  He also hates downbeat endings, so the season finale tells us that "they lived happily ever after"  

The Season 1 primary plot featured Gideon betraying the family, first by blackmailing Jesse over the tape of his sex-and-drugs party, then by planning to steal the Easter offerings from the church, plus betraying Scotty by not acknowledgeing their romantic bond.  Secondary plots involved Eli butting heads with Rev. Seasons over his church expansion, and Kelvin and Judy dealing with obstacles in their relationships.  The finale ties all of the plotlines into a single theme: forgiveness.

Back in Freeman's Gap :  Church. In his sermon, Eli describes his visit to Aimee-Leigh's childhood home, where he interacted with her spirit.  Cut to a flashback of the siblings collecting the money that Baby Billy and Tiffany stole from Scotty's van.

He continues: "We move through this world, crossing paths with friends, family...and I believe that the goal of all that colliding is to make us appreciate one another, to find empathy." Shots of Martin, Mandy (Chad's wife), and Chad, sitting far away from her. 

Rev. Seasons is redeemed: Cut to a flashback of Rev. Seasons  (Dermot Mulroney) working in a hardware store (Baptist churches are autonomous, so if one closes you don't automatically get placed elsewhere). Eli offers him a job as pastor of the satellite church that Baby Billy abandoned. Rev. Seasons was a secondary Big Bad, but Eli stole his flock, so we are not sure who needs forgiveness more.

"If you're not rooting for your enemy's salvation, you are not in line with what the Spirit wants."  Shots of Dot Nancy and her parents, BJ, Keefe (working security again), Martin's wife, a couple I don't recognize, and Jesse's crew (Matthew, Gregory, and Levi).  Notice that BJ and Keefe are linked, structurally presented as the partners of Judy and Kelvin.  They won't begin sitting together until Season 3. 

Scotty is redeemed: "Aimee-Leigh knew this. That's why she wanted to help, no matter what."  Shot of the spirit of Aimee-Leigh sitting in the congregation, glowing in ethereal light, with Scotty beside her. 

He looks more bemused than happy, surprised that he has been forgiven, wondering how he came to be sitting here, after all the pain he caused Gideon and the Gemstone family.  Remember that both BJ and Keefe had to suffer symbolic deaths before they could unite with their partners.  Did Scotty, in death, become Gideon's partner?  

Maybe, in spite of his machinations, posturing, criticism, and threats, in spite of the hints of abuse, this is what Scotty wanted all along.  After all, the goal of the two schemes was to draw Gideon away from his family so they could spend their lives together. Maybe he couldn't admit it to himself, so it came out in random bursts, like calling Gideon "cute," taking him out on dates, and finally admitting, just before his death, that "you broke my heart."  Aimee Leigh helped him understand what he needed, what he wanted, and she has made him a Gemstone.

Baby Billy grifts: "For when you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you."  Cut to Baby Billy and Tiffany selling their new gimmick, pictures of his trip to heaven. I guess they haven't been redeemed yet. 

More after the break

Montgomery Brothers Manscaping: If you've got a dick, we're on it

  

Link to the nude photos

Montgomery Brothers Manscaping

For all your manscaping needs

Beards, pits, pecs, pubes

"If you've got a dick, we're on it."

Karl Montgomery is not only an owner, he's a customer.

No job too big or too small.

Need your chest chiseled for the beach?

More after the break

Fangbone!: 3rd Grade Barbarian and Boyfriend Fight Monsters

 

Fangbone (2014-2017) features a 9-year old warrior from the land of Skullbania who talks like Conan the Barbarian (and is voiced by Taylor Abrahamse).  He was entrusted with a magical talisman (if you must know, the severed toe of the Venemous Drool) and zapped into our world, where he befriended "weird kid" Bill (Colin Doyle).   Drool sends monsters and tries various psychological tricks to get his toe back, but Fangbone and Bill are always victorious.

You get the premise in the opening credits; the show itself is nonstop buddy-bonding, with almost all of the characteristics of a classic gay subtext: physicality, domesticity, exclusivity, lack of heterosexual interest, and permanence.  

In "The Necktie of Change," Bill is annoyed by Fangbone's barbarian excesses; he forces Bill to wake up three hours early, stabs the toaster, and won't let him enter "the maw of the metal beast" to get to school.  Then a magical photograph transforms him into a preppy who wears a suit and eats with a knife and fork. At first Bill is excited by this new toned-down Fangbone, but then he realizes that it was Fangbone's eccentricity that made him attractive.  Besides, he can't fight monsters as a preppy. Constant grabbing of hands, arms around shoulders, hugging.  Physicality.

In "The Mom of No Return," Bill's Mom discovers that he has been fighting monsters with Fangbone, and forces them to separate.  They are miserable without each other.  Besides, Fangbone can't fight monsters adequately by himself.  Mom finally relents, and Bill rushes in to save the day. Permanence.

Not many episodes involve friends outside the core duo.  I watched "The Pitch of Black," in which Fangbone takes the gang camping (aka "Skullbanian sky-snoring"), to check on their interactions.  He insists on roughing it -- no wifi, no tv, no "phones of smart."  Then shadow-monsters attack!  The friends consist of Dibby, who talks like a robot; Patty, a sarcastic girl; and a chubby eyeglassed person.  They act as a group, leaving the Fangbone-Bill pairing intact.  Exclusivity.

Only one episode mentions a girl or a woman: Fangbone is stressed out being responsible for the fate of two universes, so Bill finds a previous Guardian of the Toe to give him a pep talk: Wargrunt of the Bare-Claw Bear Clan, a giant adult Valkyrie-person.  But she turns out to be evil, hoping to use the power of the One Ring -- um, I mean Toe -- for her own ends.  No heterosexual interest.

All that's missing is domesticity: Fangbone lives by himself. 

Fangbone! is based on a series of books by Michael Rex, who has published many other children's books about monsters and warriors. No indication that the subtext is intentional. 

But no indication that it's not intentional.  Here another of his characters displays heterosexual interest, so why did he ensure that Fangbone and Bill don't?  A suggestion of authorial intent.

My Grade: A

Love Lies Bleeding: Lesbian neo-noir in the New Mexico desert, with bodybuilders and bonus dicks

Link to the bonus dicks

Friday's Movie Night movie was Love Lies Bleeding (2024), about a lesbian couple involved with bodybuilding, gun-running, and murder. I was not happy with the choice, thinking that it would be constant breasts and other body parts, but the sex scenes are actually quite subdued: a flash of breast in the first, fully clothed in the second.  And there are two scenes with beefcake.

The story: In a New Mexico desert community that seems to be all desert, no community, Lou runs a run-down gym, then goes home to her horrible apartment to feed her cat and be depressed.

Meanwhile, homeless bodybuilder Jackie -- wait, how can you work out six hours a day and eat 5,000 calories while homeless?  -- has sex with JJ (Dave Franco) to score a job as a waitress at main local business, a shooting range which is also a front for a drug-and-gun smuggling operation.

Left: Dave Franco's butt

Depressed Lou visits her relatives so she can be a tad less depressed.  Surprise: JJ is her brother!  He was cheating on his wife earlier!  Casting stupidity: Lou and JJ look exactly alike, but he is actually her brother in law, and the woman playing her sister looks absolutely nothing like her.

Next, Bodybuilder Jackie wanders into Depressed Lou's gym.  They bond over clobbering some sexist jerks played by Keith Jardin, left, and Jerry G. Angelo, below.  Lou has a side gig selling illegal steroids to gym members; she gives Jackie some for free because, you know, she's cute.  Soon they're kissing, then sexing, and then Lou invites this random hookup to move in.  Not smart, girlfriend.

Although this is small-town New Mexico in 1989, the lesbian couple is accepted with utter nonchalance.  I imagine if it was two guys, the townsfolk would horrified.

The only problem: Depressed Lou's employee, the ditzy comic-relief Daisy, has a crush on her, and is jealous of this new person in her life.  This will become important later.

Oh, wait, I forgot the other problem: when Depressed Lou brings Bodybuilder Jackie to meet the family, and it comes out that Jackie had sex with her brother-in-law JJ, she recoils in disgust.  First, she doesn't believe that "bisexual" is a thing; either you like girls, or you like boys.  Second, why JJ?  He's an abusive jerk.  Lou often wants to kill him.  Uh-oh, don't tell your bodybuilder-girlfriend with a sketchy past that you want to kill someone.

More after the break