Usually tv series about a small-town murder begin with a a dead woman (whose naked body is featured), and a male and a female detective are assigned to the case, and fall in love. In Deadloch, on Amazon Prime, it's a dead man and two female detectives: a big genre change.
Scene 1: Night. Two women walk through the town of Deadloch to the beach, where they stumble upon a n*ked man, dead, face up. One accidentally drops her cigarette onto his extremely impressive p*nis (don't worry, he's not really dead, so it's ok to look).
Cut to the mayor being interviewed on tv about Deadloch's summer festival, an important event for the Tasmanian coastal community. We see a lot of underwear hung up to dry. Two women, Dulcie and Cath, are doing bedroom stuff (fully clothed, thank God). Then Cath goes to workat Deadloch Veterinary Services, and Dulcie (pronounced DULL-CEE) gets a call about the murder!
Scene 2: Dulcie, the head Constable, and her team, Abby and Sven (Tom Ballard, left), examine the body.
The Commissioner calls and refers to the body as "she." Dulce informs him that it's a "he." Surprised, he muses: "This sort of thing, you expect a woman."
99.99% of the time, yes/ I can't tell you how often a tv series or movie blurb on Netflix begins with "When a woman's body is found."
"Forensics is coming, and we've recruited a detective from Darwin, to lead the case. Until they arrive, you're in charge." Darwin? But that's on the other side of the country from Tasmania, a 7-hour plane flight. Maybe they mean Darwin Street in Hobart? But that's just a residential street, with no police department. Did I make a mistake, and this is actually set in the Northwest Territories?
Scene 3: The Deadloch Football Club. "Where's coach?" Cut to forensics examining the crime scene. Constable Dulcie calls her wife to tell her about being assigned to the case. "But you promised, no more detective work!"The teenage Tom (Harry Radbone, left) shows up, and recognizes the body as his coach. Coach's Wife and her son have been notified, and show up screaming. Someone tackles the Wife to to keep her from seeing the body -- unsuccessfully.
Dulcie interviews the Wife about their movements last night: "We ate tuna mornay, watched Ninja Warrior, and went to bed and made love."
"Can anyone verify that?" Um...the making love part? "Yes, my son heard us."
"Did The Coach go to the Beast Master Gym that his brother Gavin co-owns?" Notice how skillfully they engage in plot exposition? "No, Gavin was at the harbor putting decals on the boat for their new business, Pro-Bro (protein for bros)."
More after the break
Scene 4: Dulcie and her assistant interview the dead guy's Chunk Brother (Jackson Tozer), a belligerent, sexist, shirtless guy, whose ex-wife has a restraining order against him. Informed that his brother is dead, he yells "F*k! It was probably one of those man-hating lesbians!"
Asked when he saw the Coach yesterday, he gets all defensive and calls his mate Jimmy to attest that they were together all night. All night, huh? Tell me more.
Scene 5: The scary woods of Tasmania or the Northwest Territory, night. Dulcie and her assistants are at the constable station, working on the case. Forensics found no evidence of Coach's personal effects, and the trail cameras have all been smashed to bits (so the teenagers could get high on the nitrous oxide).
Dulcie rushes off to an event with her wife, but she walks past the house full of laughing, talking people to examine the Pro-Bro boat that Coach and Chunk Brother were working on. The security camera is smashed, and they can see Brother's Mate (Matt Burton) is struggling with a bushel of copper wire.
The mortuary ambulance and police cars drive right through town, so everyone sees them, including Ray (Duncan Fellows), who is yelling at Coach's wife. I don't know who Ray is. Whoops, they took a wrong turn and have to turn around and drive through town again.
A brash, coarse woman pops out of the bathroom. Dulcie says "Excuse me, you can't be here," and so on, but she turns out to be the Detective from Darwin, Eddie Redcliffe. She erases all of Dulcie's notes, insults her work, and asks all of the questions that have already been answered. I'd be expecting a "You're arrogant!" bickering romance, but Dulcie is already spoken for.
The Coach was strangled, so the Detective from Darwin suggests that his "busy d*ck" is to blame: a husband of one of the women he was having affairs with got jealous. got jealous. Or maybe it's the Chunk Brother: "He looks like a psycho killer." This woman is highly annoying. Australian humor, I guess.
Scene 6: At the autopsy, the Detective from Darwin keeps jumping to conclusions and second-guessing the coroner..
Time of death: Between 3 and 4 am. Fist fight prior to his death. He was hit with a pink ceramic object, but not hard enough to kill him. His tongue was cut out. His last meal was steak. "Wait -- his wife said tuna mornay." She's lying, but why would she lie about that?
Meanwhile, Dulcie deals with the usual hassle of being a small-town constable: a seal that's blocking the bridge. The mayor has ordered her assistant Gez (trans actor Harvey Zielinski) to shoot it, but Dulcie suggests just shooing it away.
They discuss the previous mayor, who was found naked on the beach five years ago.
Scene 7: Detective Eddie interrogates the Coach's Son (Bryce Tollard-Williams) He attests that they had tunay mornay for dinner, and his parents went to bed and started doing stuff at 11:00 pm.
I'm out of space, so I'll stop there.
Beefcake: The Dead Coach and the Chunk Brother. Luke Hemsworth (below) plays Jason in four episodes.
Heterosexism: No heterosexual romances mentioned at this point.
Gay Characters: The lesbian couple. Trying to research others, I keep running afoul of the video game Deadlock.
Will I Keep Watching Probably not. It's nice to see a dead guy and female detectives for a change, and a lesbian couple in charge, but I wasn't enthralled . Unless there are some gay men or more n*de guys in future episodes, I'm outta here.
See also:"The Seven Dials Mystery": Murder on an English country estate in 1925, with a gay couple, a gay bar, Bluemel's backside, and Bilbo's d*ck
No comments:
Post a Comment
No offensive, insulting, racist, or homophobic comments are permitted.
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.