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Aug 21, 2024

Mayfair Witches: Two of them, with interlocking stories, a swishy straight guy, and some demon dicks

  

Link to the demon dicks

Netflix has just dropped a lot of paranormal tv shows: A Discovery of WitchesInterview with a Vampire, The Preacher...I'll start with Mayfair Witches, which is based on a trilogy of books by Anne Rice, so there's bound to be some gay characters.

Scene 1: A sagging Gothic mansion. A man in a Depression-Era robin's egg blue suit appears on the front porch to give a staring, catatonic woman her Thorazine shot.  He's new, and can't believe that this is the patient: her file is so big, he thought she was elderly.

He reviews her file, and snoops among the weird books and artifacts in her library, including a photo of her as a 1920s flapper.  So she's immortal. Out on the porch, a man is talking to her, but when the doctor comes out, he is gone, and the maid says there was no man.  Eerie!

The rest of the episode juxtaposes stories of two women who look alike, so the only way to tell them apart is by their timelines: the first is contemporary, and the second looks to be in the 1950s. I don't know which is the catatonic one.

The Story of Woman #1: Rowan

Scene 1: Rowan pilots a boat into San Francisco Bay.  Her girlfriend arrives via Uber.  Nope, it's her mother.  

Scene 2:  A surgeon, Rowan is comforting the young boy she'll be operating on. Wait -- a male surgeon, Dr. Keck, took over the case to impress the sexist Board, but he's not operating right. She argues, but to no avail, and the boy almost dies  "Keck is a menace!" she exclaims. 

Scene 3: More tearjerking: Mom's cancer is back!  Plus we've only seen two male characters, neither cute.

Rowan tells the menace Dr. Keck that David Lemle was observing the surgery.  His company does research with stem cells for cancer patients, so could Dr. Keck arrange an introduction, so she can apply for a job as his research associate, so she can get her mother into the trials?  That sounds unethical, and really far-fetched. But Dr. Keck thinks she's arrogant, with a superiority complex.. As he is tearing into her, she hears whispers, something happens inside his brain, and he falls over dead!  




Scene 4: 
Rowan thinks she caused Dr. Keck's death.  Maybe her powers are genettc, but she's adopted, and there's no way to determine who her birth parents were.  

But the moment she leaves the room, Mom calls a facility and asks who Rowan's case worker is now: Ciprian Grieves, played by Tongayi Chirisa, left. That's a totally made up name.  She leaves a message: "My daughter is hurting people.  I need to know if something has changed."


Scene 5
: In a bar, Rowan asks the bartender, Max (Jordan Cox) to have sex with her, but he has a date tonight.  So she goes after a random guy, and he relents.  

After sex, he wants to stick around, cuddle, and discuss their feelings, but she kicks him out: she's only in it for sex, not a relationship.  That's why she never sees the guy a second time.




Scene 6:
 Caseworker Ciprian Grieves goes to a house in New Orleans and uses his magic powers to look at the spirit world.  A mysterious spirit, played by Jack Huston, is lurking in the back yard.  He calls Rowan's Mom and tells her that He is nowhere near her daughter.  That's a good thing, right?  

Mom notes that she's dying of cancer, so who will protect Rowan when she's gone?  Ciprian volunteers.


More after the break



Scene 7:
 David Lemle (Tobias Jelinek), the one doing stem cell research, gives a self-congratulatory speech about how he has unlocked the key to eternal life. This is the first generation that will live forever.

Then he interviews Rowan for the research associate job, mentions his wife 15 times, and asks if her "husband or boyfriend" will mind her working long hours.  Jerk, she might have a girlfriend.  You live in San Francisco, and you don't know that lesbians exist? Then he mentions his wife ten more times, and asks Rowan out.

What about getting Mom into the cancer-drug trials?  Sure, just pick somebody to take off the list, and Mom can get on.  You'll be dooming them, of course, but who cares?  Rowan can't do it; she gets all sarcastic: "You're so powerful. You're so special."  Hey, that's what Dr. Keck was saying about you earlier.  "You're a small, needy man-child with a raging ego."  Whoops, she gets so angry that she reaches inside his brain and kills him!  Girlfriend needs some meditation and tai chi.

Scene 8: Rowan rushes home crying to tell her Dying Mother that it happened again: "I have some kind of monstrous power!'  Mom yells that she's talking nonsense.  They sleep together, and Mom dies.  

The Story of Woman #2: Deidre

Scene 1: A priest is hearing Deirdre's confession.  She says "I hardly see him anymore," but she scratches a name in the confessional booth with her crucifix.   Then she goes outside, and He is staring at her.

Mom drags her away and yells at her for continuing to see Him.  She can't help it: He's been coming to her since she was 10 years old.  So He's a demon.

Scene 2: Mom lock Deidre in her room to keep her safe from Him, but He appears anyhow.  She berates Him: He's been promising great things for years, but nothing ever happens.


Scene 3: 
At a costume party where people wear scary devil masks, decadent 1950s swish Uncle Courtland (Harry Hamlin, old photo), is getting a foot massage from a cute young thing and discussing the beauty of a snake.  

The butler brings in three young men for his perusal. He picks Patrick(Sam Evans, top photo).  Psych -- Uncle Courtland doesn't want him for himself.  I'll bet he's just a swishy straight guy. He wants Patrick to have sex with his niece, Deidre.

Scene 4: Swishy Uncle Courtland watches lustfully as Deirdre and Patrick have sex.  But in the morning, Patrick's body is being wheeled out. He's dead!  Deidre must have accidentally killed him with her mind. And Mom is waiting downstairs to berate her!

Scene 5: Father Duffy, who heard her confession, visits Deirdre. She thinks that her Mom -- sorry, her Aunt Carlotta -- killed Patrick.  Lots of weird things happen in this family, like her mother didn't commit suicide, she was pushed off that balcony.  The priest thinks there was no Patrick at all, she was hallucinating because of Him. 

Deirdre wants the priest's help in escaping from the family, but he's afraid of them, and refuses. 

By the way, Deirdre is pregnant.  How'd that happen, if her family doesn't want her to have a boyfriend?

She goes out to the balcony and starts to jump off, but He stops her.  Instead, she sneaks out -- past Aunt Carlotta, who is praying "I fear what we may have to do" -- and asks Him to take her away. But he refuses.

He explains that her mother bound them together, as symbolized by her necklace.  But she still has to choose to be with him.  She takes off the necklace so she can see his true form.  So he's a demonic boyfriend.  I thought a demon trying to possess her soul.

He morphs into several faces, saying "I am no one .  I am a saint.  I am a demon."

She still wants him, so she puts the necklace back on.  "Ok, you are my witch now."

Scene 6: Deirdre giving birth.  I'll bet she gives birth to Rowan.  

Mom, I mean Aunt Carlotta, and her crew take the newborn baby to the lake. Uh-oh, they're going to drown it!  

No, they're giving it to Deirdre.  She has to change her name, never mentions the family again, and tells the baby that she was adopted. Obviously she's the Dying of Cancer Mom.

Back to the Catatonic Woman: She must be Rowan.  Wait -- she's wearing Deirdre's necklace.  He takes it off.  And he stops giving her Thorazine injections, because he wants to know why the family is keeping her drugged.  But I thought Deidre was Rowan's mother, who died of cancer years later.  And how is Deidre back with the family, when Aunt Carlotta allowed her to leave?  Curioser and curiouser.

Meanwhile, Rowan awakens on her boat in a storm. HE appears at the window.  The end.


Beefcake:
 Some guys take their shirts off while having sex with ladies.

Left: Ben Feldman, who plays the CEO of another genetics research company.  Rowan killed the first one, but she probably falls in love with this one.

On RG Beefcake and Boyfriends: Chris Coy, who plays Arlo Whittle in two episodes.

Heterosexism: It's heterosexual romance all the way down.

Gay Characters:  No.  Swishy Uncle Courtland is Rowan's father.  So he sexed his sister?

Will I Keep Watching: Heck, no.  This is a paranormal romance. LGBT people do not exist.

See also: The Deuce: The top ten penises of the Mafiosi, porn stars, and gay activists in 1970s New York.  With Chris Coy's dick.

Midsommar: Murderous pagans, Christian cocks, and three gay-subtext couples

Nude New Orleans



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