Gemstones Episode 2.6: Yep, they have s*x. Plus Judy grows a heart, Torsten a brain, and Amber the noive

 

Link to the NSFW version.

Episode 2.6 has that controversial scene that fans are still arguing about, three seconds that have been analyzed backward and forward, frame by frame. Are they doing it or getting dressed?  But really, it's so obvious that it could become an adult videowith only a few minor changes in the actors' dirctions. It's so obvious that I can't even put a screen shot at the top photo without getting a "sensitive" tag.   But first we have some unfinished business to attend to.

The Cycle Ninjas:  We begin immediately after the Cycle Ninja attack in Episode 2.4.  Jesse and Amber grab guns and fire on them as they zoom off, grazing one.  He falls off  his motorcycle, but jumps onto his colleague's and gives them the finger.

The family, except for Kelvin, gather in Eli's drawing room to discuss the incident with the sheriff.  Judy thinks that it was a case of road rage.  Sheriff Brenda thinks that it was a botched robbery by some teenagers: professional assassins would have finished the job.  Eli is sure that Junior sent the Cycle Ninjas to kill him.  Other family members are at risk too, so he puts the compound on lockdown.

Judy complains about being stuck at home, with Tiffany living there after Baby Billy abandoned her. "She cleans everything with vinegar."  Not the time, girl.  Eli agrees: "Are you incapable of thinking of anyone but yourself?"

Out on the porch, Eli asks if Jesse has been to see Kelvin: "No. we ain't friends.  He grew up to be a nerd." 

The Second Dressing Room Scene

We cut to a full body front-and-rear shot of Kelvin, as he stands in front of the mirror in his dressing room. "Look at me," he tells Keefe, "A grotesque reflection of what I once was." Dude, you're not going to get any sympathy with that incredible body on display.

 He is distraught over the fight with his father and the loss of the God Squad; he has been de-manned by the symbolic castration. Why should he get dressed?  "I shall remain hidden, like the beast I've become."

 Keefe advises that dressing for the day "soothes the soul," and drops to his knees.  Kelvin pushes his head forward and down to begin oral actiivty.  We see and (and hear) his climax and conclusion.  Keefe swallows and says "nice." 

The scene lasts only a few seconds, and thus is easy to miss (I missed it the first time).  And it is immersed in the act of getting dressed.  Viewers are expected to be unsure whether they did it or not, thus continuing the "are they or aren't they?" speculation. 

But the "they didn't do it" theory makes no sense: 

While stepping into his Tommy Johns, Kelvin steadies himself by pushing on Keefe's head. You steady yourself on your friend's shoulders, not on his head.

Using his hands to push is painful.  Elsewhere he is shown using the palms and base of his hands without pain.  

Keefe says "nice" because...um... Go on? 

Structurally, it is a logical conclusion of the first dressing room scene.  Keefe rejects Kelvin's invitation, and then initiates it.

It makes sense for Kelvin's character. He that his injury has rendered him impotent in a society dedicated to the phallus, grotesque in a society that prizes male beauty.   What better way to demonstrate that he is still potent, still beautiful? 

It makes sense for Keefe's character.  You've just gotten a good look at the amazingly hot backside of the Man of Your Dreams, and now you are kneeling with your face three inches from his amazingly hot c*ck --aroused by your proximity.  What guy could resist going down?

Afterwards, Keefe helps Kelvin get dressed, boops his nose, and puckers up for a kiss.  Kelvin moves in, then changes his mind and abruptly turns aside.  He still resists the idea of romantic love, but he is gradually coming around.

Down in the yard, the God Squad is running a motorcycle over the tennis court and otherwise wilding.  They've even moved into the house.  Kelvin is horrified: "Our empire is crumbling."  Notice that it's now "our" empire; they are equal partners.  Keefe encourages him to prove that he is still strong, physically and mentally: "Your will is not broken, even though your thumbs are."

Judy Grows a Heart:  Judy is signing fan photos with a d*ck and "stay horny,"  while Tiffany calls the area hospitals to see if Baby Billy was  admitted.  Judy scoffs: "He abandoned you."  But Tiffany can't believe it.  Maybe he's still looking for Funyons, and will return with the car loaded-down with them. Maybe he had a stroke, and doesn't remember who he is.  What if he's dead?  

Tiffany starts to cry,  and Judy starts to feel compassion, "thinking of someone other than herself" for maybe the first time in her life. This reminds me of the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz: "If I only had a heart."

Amber Grows Courageous.  Next the Cowardly Lion: "If I only had the noive." At the marital support group, Amber brags about how she chased off the Cycle Ninjas and shot one from 50 yards away.  The women cheer.  Jesse, feeling threatened, argues that they were both shooting, and it's unclear who actually "grazed " the Ninja,  The women aren't having it.  Amber luxuriates in the cheers, feeling for the first time that she's her own person, not just an extension of her partner. 

 Later, Jesse's crew tries to console him for being de-manned by his wife. They suggest some buddy-bonding over craft beers, but he refuses.  He's too upset about "the whole church sucking my wife's dick." Another call-back to Kelvin's blow job.

Holding hands in front of the God Squad: In the gym, Kelvin addresses the God Squad's concerns that his broken thumbs make him an inappropriate leader.  He proves his strength by offering them  "Strawberry Shortcake Bahama Bro Smoothies."  and suggests that they join hands to pray about it. 

Keefe reaches over to take Kelvin's hand, but look at his procedure.  He moves in to position near Kelvin's elbow, brings both of their arms together, and moves down.  He is, in effect, caressing Kelvin's arm, a more romantic gesture than a platonic hand-holding. Kelvin pushes him away: "I didn't mean me."  Because touching his broken thumb is painful, or because holding hands is painful?

The God Squad wonders how he can lead them on missions when he can't even lift a smoothie.  He tries, but spills it all over!  The guys laugh and make rude gestures. Keefe tries to comfort him with a hug, but Kelvin brushes him away.

Finally, Torsten -- the scarecrow, "if I only had a brain" -- figures out that he, and other God Squad members, are twice the size of Kelvin.  He should be leader: "Kelvin, I challenge you!"

"But Torsten, you're my gentle giant," Kelvin protests.  Another favorite?  Have they been in the steam showers together? 

They all rush out for the cross-bearing challenge. 

More after the break

Elias Harger: the "Fuller House" femme boy, victim of ghosts and maniacal mothers, grows up to date a Jewish champion. With Hagenbuch and twink d*cks

 

Link to the n*de photos

I never watched Full House (1987-95), the TGIF warmedy about three dads raising three girls in a gay-free San Francisco: it was on Friday nights, when I had other things to do, and besides, it sounded awful.  Although John Stamos as Uncle Jesse was quite a hunk.

(In those days, you knew about all of the popular tv shows, even if you had never seen them).

And I never watched the sequel Fuller House (2016-2020), about the grown-up girls sharing a house: it sounded awful, and besides, Candace Cameron Bure (focus character DJ Tanner) made it very clear that she didn't like gay people and would not permit them on her show.  Presumably she meant gay characters, or did she check all 100-plus members of the cast and crew for rainbow flags?

Apparently the homophobia didn't stop with Candace.  According to a review, Fuller House was a "thoroughly offensive mess," with "gays are hilarious" jokes every episode: "we're expected to laugh at the mere suggestion that a character might be experiencing same-s*x attraction." 

Then why, according to the fan wiki, was DJ's son Max Fuller a "closeted gay boy?"

Max was played by Elias Harger, shown here with  his tv brother Michael Campion.

 Surely Candace would never permit a gay boy on the show, especially as DJ's son.

Time to check Max's character arc. 

In Seasons 1-2,  he is a femme boy with a gay-subtext relationship with his friend Taylor (Lucas Jaye) and occasional references to same-s*x interest, such as a crush on Blake Sheldon.  

Then in the Season 2 Christmas episode, he meets the Girl of His Dreams, Rose.  Taylor becomes his competitor for her attention.  

Max and Rose pursue an on-off romance through Season 6.

So, did the writers actually plan for Max to be gay, then change their minds when Candace yelled at them, or was it just a matter of "isn't same-sex desire hilarious?"

We can get a clue by checking to see if Elias Harger is gay in real life.  

According to his IMDB biography, Elias grew up in Denver and Atlanta, where he participated in community theater from the age of five, starring in Shrek: the Musical and A Christmas Carol (no, he didn't play Scrooge).

He moved on screen in 2014, playing Peter Pan, a boy who remembers his past lives (The Ghost Inside My Child), and a mysterious boy kidnapped by a serial killer (Popsy)

In 2015, a boy haunted by the ghost of his evil grandmother (Granny).

In 2016, he was cast as Max in Fuller House, but he also found time for more dark, disturbing movies to counteract the homophobic family-friendly smarm.

In 2017, Elias played a boy who disapproves of the new baby in the family.  If they're going to bring in new kids, he'll bring in a new mother (The Arrival).  

In 2018, the son of a female funeral director with a dark secret -- she likes her men like she likes her popsicles -- cold and hard (Dead Love).

His only post-Fuller role is in the animated Felix and the Hidden Treasure (2021).  Felix (Elias, Daniel Brochu) and his talking cat go off in search of his missing father, and run afoul of baddies dressed as superheroes. 

As of this writing, Elias is attending Georgia State University in Atlanta, majoring in music, hoping to become a concert pianist, or else a pianist on a cruise ship.

So no specifically gay roles, but there aren't a lot of gay roles for kids.  What about gay in real life?  First, check out Adam Hagenbuch, who played Uncle Jimmy (d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

The n*ked guys of "Spartacus: House of Ashur"

 

Link to the n*de photos

Spartacus (103-71 BCE) was a Thracian slave who escaped from a gladiator school with 70 of his followers and started the Third Servile War: 120,000 enslaved persons rebelling against the oppressive Roman Republic. 

In 1951, Howard Fast self-published Spartacus, a novel about the slave revolt, as a protest against his incarceration during the McCarthy Era witch hunts.  

The 1960 movie version starred Kirk Douglas as Spartacus.  It famously includes a scene, cut from the theatrical release but restored in 1991, where the power-hungry  senator Crassus and his slave Antonius (Sir Laurence Olivier, Tony Curtis) discuss being gay, in severely closeted terms, as the eating of oysters vs. the eating of snails: "It is all a matter of taste, is it not?" 

The 2004 movie (aired during two nights on the USA network) starred Goran Višnjić as Spartacus, and upped the participation of his wife, transforming the story into a heterosexual romance.

A Spartacus tv series, with seasons given different names (Blood and Sand, Gods of the Arena, and War of the Damned), aired on Starz between 2010 and 2013.  It starred Andy Whitfield (left), and after his death Liam McIntyre.  A lot of n*de guys, such as James Wells as Totus and Manu Bennett as Crixus (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Plus there were several gay characters, including Spartacus' best friend Agron.

Assyrian slave Ashur (Nick E. Tarabay) becomes one of the series' primary antagonists when he collaborates with the Romans in their attempt to bring down the slave rebellion.  Eventually beheaded.  Shouldn't that be Asher, one of the Twelve Tribes of Israel?

He has returned in Spartacus: House of Asher (2025), a sort of sequel which posits that he killed Spartacus, returned to life, and now runs a gladiator school.

From a civil war to a school?  Trying to minimize political references that could get you in trouble in the fascist state?

I'm out of space, so let's just look at the n*de guys (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

Lucas Blas: Spanish teen idol with at least three gay/trans roles and a lot of boyfriends. Bonus n*de Spanish dudes

Link to the n*de photos.

Spanish actor Luca de Blas or Lucas Blas appeared on the teen idol website with the usual teenage beefcake and bicep photos.

Quite a lot of beefcake and bicep photos.

But when I started looking at his works, I found something else.

I found a boy wearing a crown of flowers.

Everyone else in the village wears sacks over their heads, but Lucas is not afraid to show his true face to the world.  Even when he is in prison, he weaves himself a crown of flowers.

The villagers grab him and take him to a church to be sacrificed.  He begins to bleed.  The singer, gay musician Dulzano, jumps in, but it is too late; Luca dies in his arms.

It is the music video Jota de la Luna (2025), with lyrics that recall gay poet Garcia Lorca, giving us a poignant view of homophobia and the need to be who you are. 

We must bring flower to flower/ when summer dries the blood of the Reaper

And open our hearts to sleepless birds
When winter knocks trembling at the door
When night falls I will say it
When the clear night arrives

I found an episode of Bosé, a biography of the famous gay (or "trisexual") singer Miguel Bosé (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  Lucas plays  the young gay singer Carlos Berlanga, whose "¿A quién le importa?", released in 1986, became a gay anthem during the AIDS pandemic.

Who cares what I do?

Who cares what I say?

I am this way, and this way I'll stay

Nothing can change me.

I found Lucas wearing makeup, approaching his mother, arguing with her, trying to hug her. Later he grows his hair long and puts on a dress, suggesting trans identity, or maybe a femme gay boy.  It was Ali (2021), a short film that won four prizes and seven nominations: "A desperate cry of child abandoned by his mother, who cannot give him love": 

More after the break