Feb 10, 2019

Falcon Beach: Canadian Teen Soap About Bare Chests

Falcon Beach (2006-07) is a Canadian teen soap, available on youtube and Amazon, about bare chests and kissing.

1. The central bare chest belongs to Steve Byers as Jason Tanner, a shirtless golden boy who lives with his widowed mom on a beach in Manitoba.  He spends his days taking his shirt off, flirting with girls, and hanging out with his nerdish best friend....








Bare Chest #2, belonging to Jughead...um, I mean Danny (Ephraim Ellis).


Then rich girl Veronica Lodge...um, I mean Paige Bradshaw (Jennifer Kydd) shows up with her wealthy industrialist father, who wants to tear down Pop Tate's....um, I mean turn the beach into condos or something.  Anyway, he's evil. 







Paige brings along Bare Chest #3, belonging to another shirtless golden boy, a Jason Tanner lookalike named Lane (Morgan Kelly).

Saving the beach, deciding which girl to kiss, and drug addiction are three main plotlines of the series. 

Saving the beach, a lot more than we need: bankrupcies, annuities, foreclosures, tax shelters, compound interest loans...this is escapeism?  Bring on the bare chests!

#4. A reasonably hirsute bare chest belonging Peter Mooney as Dr. Adrian Keeper, who prescribes opioids and other drugs to the athletes.













#5. An even more hirsute chest belonging to Stephen Lobo as Nathan Rai.














#6. An ab-worthy chest belonging to soap stud Shawn Roberts as Hurst.














#7. The sculpted chest of Yannick Bisson as Michael Prescott.














8. The ripped chest of Geoff Banjavich as...well, who cares?

If only they could have limited the kissing....


















2 comments:

  1. Watched some, 'twas ok but bro watch the movie "Birdy". If you can sit through "Falcon Beach" you'll survive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Birdy" (1984). Matthew Modine and Nicholas Cage star as two boys growing up in a working-class neighborhood. "Birdy,' so called because he likes birds and wants to be one, has a traumantic experience in Viet Nam and refuses to speak. When Al comes to visit him in the mental hospital, Birdy jumps out of a window as if he can fly. He doesn't die, however; he ends up on the roof. Definitely sounds like a strong gay subtext, perhaps deliberate, as some reviews have noted: "peut-être même pas vraiment conscientes de leur caractère crypto-gay." It's part of a genre about guys helping a sick or mentally ill friend.

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