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Feb 10, 2019

Falcon Beach: Canadian Teen Soap About Bare Chests

Falcon Beach (2006-07) is a Canadian teen soap, available on youtube and Amazon, about bare chests and kissing.

1. The central bare chest belongs to Steve Byers as Jason Tanner, a shirtless golden boy who lives with his widowed mom on a beach in Manitoba.  He spends his days taking his shirt off, flirting with girls, and hanging out with his nerdish best friend....








Bare Chest #2, belonging to Jughead...um, I mean Danny (Ephraim Ellis).


Then rich girl Veronica Lodge...um, I mean Paige Bradshaw (Jennifer Kydd) shows up with her wealthy industrialist father, who wants to tear down Pop Tate's....um, I mean turn the beach into condos or something.  Anyway, he's evil. 







Paige brings along Bare Chest #3, belonging to another shirtless golden boy, a Jason Tanner lookalike named Lane (Morgan Kelly).

Saving the beach, deciding which girl to kiss, and drug addiction are three main plotlines of the series. 

Saving the beach, a lot more than we need: bankrupcies, annuities, foreclosures, tax shelters, compound interest loans...this is escapeism?  Bring on the bare chests!

#4. A reasonably hirsute bare chest belonging Peter Mooney as Dr. Adrian Keeper, who prescribes opioids and other drugs to the athletes.













#5. An even more hirsute chest belonging to Stephen Lobo as Nathan Rai.














#6. An ab-worthy chest belonging to soap stud Shawn Roberts as Hurst.














#7. The sculpted chest of Yannick Bisson as Michael Prescott.














8. The ripped chest of Geoff Banjavich as...well, who cares?

If only they could have limited the kissing....


















2 comments:

  1. Watched some, 'twas ok but bro watch the movie "Birdy". If you can sit through "Falcon Beach" you'll survive.

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    Replies
    1. "Birdy" (1984). Matthew Modine and Nicholas Cage star as two boys growing up in a working-class neighborhood. "Birdy,' so called because he likes birds and wants to be one, has a traumantic experience in Viet Nam and refuses to speak. When Al comes to visit him in the mental hospital, Birdy jumps out of a window as if he can fly. He doesn't die, however; he ends up on the roof. Definitely sounds like a strong gay subtext, perhaps deliberate, as some reviews have noted: "peut-être même pas vraiment conscientes de leur caractère crypto-gay." It's part of a genre about guys helping a sick or mentally ill friend.

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