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Sep 16, 2023

"School of Rock": Goth Drag, a gay-vague kid, a homophobic kid, and Demi Lovato.

 


Some 13 years after School of Rock (2003), a teencom version premiered on Nickelodeon: School of Rock (2016-2018), with Tony Cavalero playing Dewey, a failed musician turned middle school teacher with a special interest in winning the "Battle of the Bands."

 In 2016 Nickelodeon was still promoting the "all kids are heterosexual" myth, so I doubt that there is any LGBTQ representation. But I'll review the episode where Dewey dresses in drag as a scary Goth lady.  It may be Episode 1.7.

The NSFW version, with some naked guys (over 18, of course) is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Scene 1: Four kids and Dewey performing, while the others in the classroom watch -- from behind them?   Dewey explains that rock is about showmanship more than music: strut your stuff!  Freddie (Ricardo Hurtado, top photo) does a guitar zing.  Lawrence (Aidan Miner, below) demonstrates that he can play the keyboard with his butt, so Dewey calls him "Lawrence von Butthoven." Emphasizing one's butt is a queer code.  Summer (Jade Pettyjohn) has her face painted onto her tambourine. Lead singer Tomika is hiding.  

Dewey demonstrates the signature moves of Mick Jagger and  Miley Cyrus (a rock musician?).  Zack (Lance Lim) asks him not to twerk. It would be too erotic for middle school, anyway, but interesting that the boy emphasizes that he definitely doesn't want to see a man being erotic.  You got a problem with gay men, Zack?

Scene 2: Dewey wants to know why Tomika was hiding during practice: she's embarrassed by the funny faces she makes while performing. He points out that her favorite singer, Demi Lovato, is shy in real life, but when she goes on stage, she becomes a confident rocker (These guys have a different definition of "rock").

To boost her confidence, Dewey claims that he knows Lovato and will call and tell her all about Tomika.  Whoops, he's doesn't even know who Demi Lovato is!  He's in trouble now!


Scene 3:
Zack and Freddie ooze with horniness over Tomika's new style.  Lawrence thinks they're talking about him (gay joke, har har): "Thanks.  I went with my Superman underwear today."

"We can't actually see your underwear."  Would things be different if you could see it, guys?

Scene 4:  Dewey teaches science, too.  The textbook says that he was wrong: lightning is not caused by two angels having a fistfight.  I'm sure he was joking. After five seconds of science, they scoot the desks aside and start practicing. The newly confident Tomika wants them to play Demi Lovato's "Heart Attack."  

Lawrence asks if it's cool for dudes to like Lovato (that is, does liking Lovato mean that you're gay). They assure him that it's fine (e.g., heterosexual).

Tomika tells the band that Dewey and Lovato are besties, and hang out together all the time.  "Sure, when she's in town," Dewey says, hoping that she's far away.  Of course, she happens to be in town, playing the Texas Memorial.  This show is set in Texas?  Ugh, I spent the worst year of my life in Hell-for-Certain, Texas.  That's enough to get a F grade.

The band pleads with Dewey to get Lovato to listen to them play.  Like, sure, even if they were friends, the big star wouldn't want to spend her time off reviewing a middle school band.  She'd want to see the sights, if there are any in...ugh, Texas.

Scene 5: Dewey at Lovato's hotel, trying to bribe the desk clerk with "a prescription for fungal medicine."  Lawrence happens to be staying there; he's on his way to a couple's massage -- with his Mom.  "Gay men are all in love with their mother." Rather a homophobic queer code, but I'll take it.

Scene 6:  Tomika has turned aggressive and demanding: they've practiced the song 15 times, but it's still not good enough.  Plus their outfits and props look like they belong in a middle school.  Well, to be fair, Lawrence doesn't actually play his keyboard.  He just mashes his hands down on several keys at once. 

  They try it with disco ball motorcycle helmets, Tomika emerging from a barrel of ink, and a wind machine that destroys everything.  Instantaneous props!  I'm in a 1950s sitcom.  Tomika screams that they're not worthy of her great song.


Scene 7:
The band and three non-speaking characters, including Damarion Hall, eating in the cafeteria and refusing to let Tomika join them. The diva assumes it's because they are upset over not being good enough.

Scene 8: Dewey is rushing to the men's room, figeting, when Tomika stops him. Great, now I'm thinking about Tony Cavalero's penis. She wants to know why everyone in the band is angry, when she's just trying to push them into being worthy of her.  He suggests that she not try to be exactly like Lovato: be brave like her, but still Tomika. 

Tomika's friend was eavesdropping, and tells the guys why she is acting so weird: she's afraid of looking silly on stage. 


Scene 9:
  The solution: practice hard so they'll be worthy...wait, isn't the solution for everyone to make silly faces while performing, so she knows it isn't a big deal?  But no, they just practice without her until they're good enough.  Weird!  And what happened to the plotline of Dewey pretending to know Demi Lovato?  

Ok, here we go: Dewey comes in wearing Goth drag.  The kids are all shocked.  He swishes around, pretending to be Demi Lovato, but they see through his disguise instantly.  Zack: "I had a nightmare exactly like this once."  Yes, Zack, gay men give you nightmares, we get it.

Dewey comes clean: he doesn't really know Demi Lovato.  But as it turns out, Lawrence does: "I met her at the hotel. We're breakfast buddies.  She said we could get tickets to her show anytime."  So, why didn't you mention this before?  Oh, right, everyone forgot about the A Plot.

Whoops, her last show is tonight, and it's starting soon, in the middle of a school day!  They rush to the van.  Tomika stays behind to tell Dewey how much she appreciated his help.  He starts to cry, comments that he should have gone with the waterproof mascara, and tells himself to "Man up!"  The end.  Darn, I thought for sure the real Demi Lovato would interact with Dewey in drag. 


Beefcake:
None.  Huerta bulked up later.  Here's Kendall Schmidt, who played Justin in four episodes.

Heterosexism: Every character is involved in one or more heterosexual romances during the course of the series, but not here.

Gay Subtexts: Awareness of gay men informs the jokes throughout. 

Zack displays a homophobic discomfort.  

Lawrence plays the "is he or isn't he?" game.

 Dewey merely draws attention to himself as a sexual being. 

My Grade: Well, it's a Nickelodeon teencom: don't get your hopes up.  It missed some obvious jokes, and where the heck is Demi Lovato?  But the many gay references pushed it up. B-.

Don't forget to check out the NSFW version.

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