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Mar 11, 2024

The twelve scruffy hunks of "Animal Kingdom." WIth a lot of bare butts

  


Someone recommended Animal Kingdom, not to be confused with the Animal Kingdom at Disney World, the Animal Planet network, or a tv show entitled Animal Control.  This one is a drama TNT featuring the struggle for succession in a crime family led by...Smurf?  "Ok, boys, I want you to go smurf out those rival smurfs and bury their smurfs in the smurf."

Link to The 12 bare butts of "Animal Kingdom"

There are a lot of sons, grandsons, and boy toys, even a gay one.  Most are sleazy, scruffy, and tattooed, not my cup of tea.  But most get bare butt scenes, so you don't have to look at their face.


1. Scott Speedman as Baz, adopted Smurf, who wants to try new crime techniques instead of Mama Smurf's old fashioned smurfing. 

2. In flashbacks to 1992 and 1996, Baz is smurfed by Darren Mann, left





3. Shawn Hatosy as Pope, eldest Smurf, who suffers from mental illness and does a lot of risky smurf. Plus he's smurfed in prison.






4.  Kevin Csolak smurfs as Pope in the flashbacks.









5. Ben Robson as Craig, middle Smurf, who parties and does drug instead of paying attention to the smurfing. 











6. Jake Weary as Deran, youngest Smurf, the moral smurf who is trying to distance himself from the family, running a surfing shop instead of smurfing crime. He is closeted for a long time, but when he finally comes out they are fine with it. 






More butts after the break





7. Spencer Treat Clark as his on-off boyfriend, Adrian.

8. Finn Cole, left, as J, Mama Smurf's grandson and the nephew of the other Smurf boys. He runs a bowling alley.










9. Damon Williams as Linc Lincoln, one of Deran's boyfriends when he and Adrian are on the outs.

10. Grant Wilson as Cody, Smurf's boyfriend back in 1977 and the father of her two oldest kids, Julia and Pope.  





11. Eddie Ramos as Tupi, a gang smurf who dates J's girlfriend Mia, and is smurfed.

12. Jeremy Glaser as Blake in Episode 5.3, "Free Ride."

Will I watch: Probably not.  I'm not into crime dramas generally, so I probably won't have patience for a 75-episode crime drama with a convoluted family tree and a matriarach named Smurf.







Seriously, Smurf?  Is the rival family the Care Bears?  Or Scrooge McDuck and his nephews? Life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg....

The bare butts of the scruffy hunks are smurfed on RG Beefcake and Smurfs

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