Tony Cavalero's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 4: Shreds before beds, a big guy from Big Sky, a boyfriend's snake, and Nick's dick

 

Link to the nude photos

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Tony Cavalero, best known as Dewey on The School of Rock,  Ozzie Ozbourne in Dirt, and Keefe on The Righteous Gemstones, with a few of his friends

1. "I'm ready for church."

2. Tony plays golf in Montana, Big Sky Country, or as he calls it, Big Guy Country.  

So, Tony, how big were these guys? 

3. This one will do for a warm-up.

4. Holy vascularity, Batman!

5. Don't be shy, Tony.  You can stand closer than that to hold hands.

6. When your boyfriend meets your bestie, and each wonders if you are into three-ways.

More after the break

Unprisoned, Season 2: Will Finn finally come out, or stay gay-vague forever? Plus a lot of search engine misdirections

 

Unprisoned, on Hulu, features an elderly man named Edwin, who spends 17 years in prison for cocaine dealing, is released, and has to reconnect with his estranged daughter and 16 year old grandson.  He spends the first season trying to avoid violating the terms of his parole and finding a girlfriend, while the estranged daughter does TED talks about relationships and has relationship problems with her boyfriend. It's heterosexist all the way down, except for the son, Finn, played by Faly Rakotohavana.

Through Season 1, he never expresses any interest in girls, nor do his mom and grandpa ever try to push him into meeting or dating girls.  The lack of expressed heterosexual interest codes him as gay, but it's a very fragile code: showrunners often go through an entire season, or more, with a character that all viewers think is gay, only to give him a girlfriend at the last moment and yell "Fooled you!  Gay people don't exist!" It already happened on Doogie Kamehameha, M.D..  

It could not be more obvious that actor Faly Rakotohavana is gay in real life, but I googled him and "gay" anyway, and got this result:

So the murderous doll has a talk show now? His interviewees are Zackary Arthur and Teo...., not Faly Rakotahavana.

By the way, it looks like he's interview his costars in the Chucky tv series, Zackary Arthur and Teo Briones. 

None of these people is Faly Rakotahavana, either.  The one on the left is Will Smith, and the one on the right, "Uis hth",  would go gay for him. What does that even mean?  Uis is only attracted to women now, but if ___ agrees to date him, he'll change to gay, and only be attracted to men for the rest of his life?

Found him: Louis Smith.  There aren't any shirtless photos of him, except behind paywalls.

Back to Finn: I was fearful of watching Season 2, due to the possibility that they would clobber us with a "Fooled you!" girlfriend.  Especially Episode 2, where "Finn tries to make a friend." 

I clench my teeth and brave through it after the break

Leif Garrett: The teen Idol who out-swished Liberace in the glam 70s

Link to the nude photos

Even in the glam-rock 1970’s, when swishy postures were sexy and the androgynous became superstars, Leif was so absolutely girlish in every word and gesture, polarized so far into the feminine, that only the pronouns of “he” and “him” gave any indication that this person should be taken as male. 

 And, in spite of a recurring role on Family as the “boyfriend” of aggressively masculine tomboy Buddy (Kristy McNichol), it was impossible to imagine Leif ever sleeping with a girl.  

Even the teen magazines made quite a mystery of Leif’s romantic interests. One 1977 article, promising “99 Fax About Leif,” divulged only that he enjoyed playing Monopoly, he preferred being shirtless, and he had never told a girl “I love you.” Perhaps he had told a boy, as they lounged around the house shirtless, playing Monopoly?

Leif seemed conflicted about how epicene his public persona should be. At first he was adamantly, defiantly girlish, but when fans began complaining that parents wouldn’t allow his pinups because he looked too much like a girl, he adopted a new persona, sullen and inarticulate, and, he hoped, masculine. I

Instead he became androgynous, a Caravaggio youth.  The teen magazines did their part: an article in Tiger Beat announced that his first love was skateboarding “next to music and girls, of course,”  and another assured readers that “Leif is a He-Man,” detailing his enthusiasm for jogging, swimming, and horseback riding (still, nary a macho sport in the lot).

Leif released his first album, entitled Leif Garrett, in the fall of 1977, before he was old enough to drive a car; the cover shows him in a maroon shirt, unbuttoned all the way down to his navel, revealing a smooth, firm, but undefined chest, shoulder-length blond hair, and a round androgynous face. The overt eroticism of the cover art belies the romantic innocence of the tracks, mostly covers of rock classics such as “Johnny B. Goode,” “California Girls,” and “Surfin’ USA.” Nevertheless, several tracks manage to avoid the “girl” filler, making Leif a possible successor to gay-friendly Shaun Cassidy

In Feel the Need, released during the summer of 1978, Leif could almost be a drag queen. Now the songs stray far from the heteronormative “Runaround Sue” to “I Was Made or Dancing” and “Without You,” which omit pronouns and girls’ names.

Here he looks like Tim Curry in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  

 

Leif's teen idol star fell quickly during the 1980s, when glam gave way to cowboy machismo, so he returned to television, with a swishy role in The Outsiders, trying too hard in Cheerleader Camp, and guest spots, sometimes playing himself, on a variety of tv dramas. He continued to tour, as a solo performer and in his new band, Godspeed, performed in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and in the 2000s, parodied himself in Dickie Roberts, Former Child Star.   He even parodied his various arrests and drug problems on The World's Dumbest Criminals.

No one could possibly have imagined it in the 1970s, but this person who out-swished Liberace was actually straight! It was just  matter of his natural femininity combined with androgynous glam expectations.  In real life, he's had a variety of girlfriends and no hints of boyfriends.  Actually, I'm not aware of any statements indicating awareness that LGBT people exist. 

The nude photos are on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

See also: Preston Oliver: Teen idol with four tv roles, two boyfriends, and "Ask Me Toney"

Jacob Sartorius: Femme teen idol into heterosexism, cowboys, and frontal nudity

Gemstones Episode 1.9, Continued: Kelvin goes dark, Keefe goes down, and Captain America saves the day

This is the censored version of the review, with no nude photos or explicit sexual situations.

Link to the nude photos

Left: a muscle guy to ease us into the crisis

He's not my boyfriend:  Earlier in the episode, Kelvin reveals that "he's coming apart," certain that his lack of interest in women and recent forays into "darkness" signify that he is the Devil.  The siblings tried to comfort him, but apparently it didn't help: he shows up at the teen group wearing a Goth teddy boy outfit, mascara, pale lipstick, dark glasses, and shiny vinyl pants, and announces "I have transformed myself into something Dark."  He's not Jesus, but a vile creature of sin.  He must leave them.  

But his replacement, Ronald Meyers (Josh Warren), is "pure": chubby, greasy-haired, an assistant manager at the GameStop.  One can't help but conclude that "pure" means "never had sex," a contrast with Kelvin, who obvioulsy has. 

Kelvin makes a dramatic exit.  Dot Nancy, whom he rescued from Club Sinister, scoffs, as if to say "What an idiot!", and follows. "Is this about your boyfriend?"  Notice that she is not being pejorative; she honestly believes that they are a gay couple.  

Kelvin corrects her:  "Ok, no, he's not my boyfriend. We're just a couple dudes who like to hang out. Why?"  He's being awfully nonchalant -- compare Season 3, where "rumors swirling around" drive him into a panic.  He's already the Dark Lord, a being infused by homoerotic desire, so why get upset over a simple mistake?

Fans who insist that "Kelvin is straight!" often point to this statement, but maybe they're not "boyfriends," partners in a caring, emotionally-fulfilling relationship.  Kelvin believes that Satan is all about sex, not love, so whatever he feels for Keefe -- whatever he does with Keefe -- must be driven solely by lust.   

That will all change in a moment, when Dot shows him Keefe's instagram page. He has returned to his old job as Baby Queef, a performance artist at Club Sinister: "The baby is back!"  and "Haven't I fallen far enough?"  

Responses from fans: "I'm psyched!  I can't wait!"  "We're off to never-never land!" 

Yelling "No, no, no," Kelvin rushes off. Why is he fine with turning into the Dark Lord, but upset when Keefe becomes one of his followers?  Maybe because his transformation was all about wallowing in self-pity, while Keefe's is for real. He is about to be destroyed, spiritually, psychologically, and maybe even physically.

Gideon in Haiti: Before we can find out what happens next with Kelvin and Keefe, we cut to Gideon in Haiti: colorful "third world" shots of goats, a taverna, Gideon  meeting a group of kids, and so on.  The Water 2 Haiti ministry reflects the real Water for Life, which has been sponsoring well digging and irrigation since 1983. 

Jesse tracks Gideon down and asks him to come home. He refuses: he's doing missionary work to expiate his sins, so he can find peace.   Jesse will have to find anothe way to reconcile with Amber.

BJ is Shocked:  Back to the Gemstone Compound, night.  BJ wants to do a grand gesture to get Judy back (you dumped her, remember?), but Brock the Security Guard makes fun of his name and won't let him in (he lived there before the breakup -- wouldn't Brock know him and let him by default?).  

Rejected at the gate, BJ says "It's time to be a man" and finds an isolated place with a fence he can climb over.  We get a good view of the amusement park as he sneaks through, trying to abandon "childish things," as St. Paul suggested.   But the stealth plan doesn't work:  he is surrounded by security guards and tazed.

A Transitive State: Meanwhile, Kelvin is trying a grand gesture of his own (you dumped him, remember?). He arrives at Club Sinister with yet another party going on (or is there always a party in the Satanic realm?)  He pushes through the crowd (and, significantly, shrinks back with audible “Ewww!” at the sight of a naked lady), and finds Keefe's old friend Daedalus.  

"Keefe is discovering some things about himself," he says. What does Keefe not know about himself?  Surely he knew that he was gay.  

Then: "I transformed him back into the earliest state of his being. He's sinking beneath his reality as we speak.  He's regressing to a transitive state."  I couldn't find an exact meaning for this phrase, but it probably means a state where you can be transformed into a different person.  

Kelvin threatens him: “Take me to him right now! I will beat your f*ng ass!”  

The Isolation Tank after the break

Ten hot/hung photos of Lee Doud, plus anti-Asian discrimination in the gay community

 

Link to the nude photos

 Lee Doud starred in the Doku series I'm Fine, about some twenty-ish friends looking for love in West Hollywood. I lived in West Hollywood for twelve years, sigh.

He also appeared in Good Trouble, Lucifer, and SWAT, and wrote/produced the documentary series OUTLOUD: Raising Voices   

In 2018, Lee  published The Gay Community's Fear and Loathing of Asian Men Must End" in The Advocate, about his experience as a mixed-race Asian/white guy in Hollywood ("you'll get more roles if you downplay the Asian part) and in the gay community ("So, which half of you is white, har har")..  Guys think that he is Hispanic, and actually lose interest when he tells them that he is part-Asian.  Hookup app profiles regularly say "No Asians.  Not racist, just a preference."

Um...it's a preference because they think that all Asian men have traits that they find undesirable, like being femme,anal bottoms, or having small dicks.  On the flip side, some guys like those traits, and fetishize Asian men. That's the definition of racism.

So let's take a look at some photos that highlight Lee's physique.  

Morning mimosas

Halloween at the Pailhouse.  I miss West Hollywood.

More after the break

Phil of the Future's Future: Former Disney teen Raviv Ullman on the Torah, wearing dresses, and his penis

  

   Link to the penis pics

On an uncomfortably humid episode of Broad City, set during a sopping-wet New York summer -- I've been there -- besties Abbi and Ilana try to beat the heat by buying, borrowing, or stealing an air conditioner.  Humorous or uncomfortable excursions follow, such as sex with a sopping-wet Seth Rogan, and holing up in a dorm room at New York University, smoking weed with -- and making out with -- two boys.  You'd think that someone hanging out in a college dorm room would be a college student, right?  No, they're high school students, age 16.

And one of them is Phil of the Future!

If you weren't watching the Disney Channel on Friday nights in 2004, you might not have noticed, among the girl-centric teencoms like That's So Raven, Lizzie McGuire, and Kim Possible, the boy-centric Phil of the Future.  A time-machine mishap strands a family from 2124 in our century, where they must adjust to primitive technology while keeping their secret. Phil, played by Ricky Ullman, immediately meets a girl, with whom he shares adventures while falling in love. Careful, dude, she could be your great-grandmother.

No gay subtexts here: hetero-romance is the beginning and end of everyone's story.  But there were a lot of cute guys,  or guys who would grow up to be cute, like Evan Peters, whose butt you have seen many times on American Horror Story.  It was certainly better than watching Raven's psychic flashes.

After Phil, Ricky moved on to teen sex comedies like Prom Wars, grown-up sex comedies like How to Make Love to a Woman, and Rita Rocks, a Lifetime sitcom about a middle-aged lady who starts a garage band.

The straight-to-DVD Driftwood, 2006, was a change of pace dramatic role: David is sent to an "attitude adjustment camp." He befriends Noah, there to be "cured" of being gay, and helps him solve the murder of his boyfriend.  

This also marks the moment that Raviv dropped the stage name "Ricky" and came out as Jewish. He's actually Orthodox, and devout; his grandfather was a rabbi.

Contest, 2013, features a bully and his victim working together to win a contest.  I haven't seen it, but it appears to be all gay-subtext: the victim also gets a girlfriend. 

Strangers, 2017, not to be confused with Strangers, 2018, is a Facebook series about a young woman who makes extra money by renting out a room.  Isn't that called having a roommate?  She gets a girlfriend -- or two -- it's hard to tell from the trailer. Raviv plays Rory in three episodes.

I thought Raviv starred in Newsies on Broadway, but I can't find any reference. His theatrical credits include Bad Guys, The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner, Death Trap (which features a gay kiss), and Usual Girls. 

This is from Spring Break 83, a "raunchy comedy" set to be released in 2012, but shut down by the actors' and technicians' union because they weren't being paid.

More after the break

Richie Rich joins a gym. With bonus Rory, Ansel, and Kieran cocks.

 

Link to the nude photos

Richie Rich, an impossibly wealthy 12-year old boy in a Little Lord Fauntleroy suit, was a mainstay of Harvey Comics from his first introduction in 1953 until the company folded in 1982.   

You may be familiar with the 1994 movie version, starring Macaulay Culkin and his brother Rory, above, as Richie Rich, and Michael Maccarone, aka Maccadeath, as his pal Omar (Freckles in the comics)

The reviews were awful.

Originally the comics were exclusively humorous -- Richie wants to jump rope, but can't find one, so he uses a huge pearl necklace. I never cared much for them, preferring the science-fiction and mystery-style stories of Casper's Ghostland

But by the 1970s, Richie was augmenting the humorous stories with serious Hardy Boys-style mysteries, paranormal, espionage, and adventure stories.  They were more interesting, if you could overlook the Little Lord Fauntleroy suit that he continued to wear.

By the end of his run, Richie was starring in over fifty monthly or bimonthly titles, far more than all of the other Harvey characters put together.  

So many thousands of stories required a huge supporting cast, so Richie quickly received a girlfriend, , some boy pals from the wrong side of the tracks, a mischievous cousin, a gold-digger with a crush on him  -- or his money -- and crossovers from the other naturalistic Harvey comics, Little Dot, Little Lotta, and Little Audrey (I don't know why all the girls were "little").  He  paired with Casper the Friendly Ghost, although he always explained their adventures together as dreams. He even got a boyfriend.

 

48 issues of Richie Rich and Jackie Jokers appeared between 1973 and 1982, with humorous and adventure stories pairing Richie with a 12-year old stand-up comedian.  It soon became apparent that they liked each other.  A lot   Holding hands during the crisis, hugging when the crisis was averted, stammering "If anything were to happen to you....".  

Left: nuclear war in a kids' comic.

In one story, Jackie makes his romantic intentions very clear: "If you weren't always wearing that silly red bowtie, I'd marry you."  He'll take the tie off for the honeymoon, dude.

More after the break

Gemstones Episode 1.9 : Jesse is racist, Judy is a rapist, and Kelvin is the Devil. With naked Haitian bonus

This is the censored version of the review, with no nude photos or explicit sexual discussions. 

Go directly to the naked Haitian guys

Episode 1.8 ended with all of the Gemstone siblings and their partners broken up, plus Gideon cast out from the family.  It's going to take a lot of work to make things right again.  

Chicken bone voodoo:  After a flashback to Aimee-Leigh's death (and a bee that will re-appear later in the episode),we cut to Eli finding about about the blackmail, Jesse's assault of Rev. Seasons, and Judy's embezzlement. Kelvin stood by and let them do things that he knew was wrong, so he's just as guilty. Eli angrily fires them all. 

Later, Amber tells Jesse that if he wants to reconcile, he'll have to go to Haiti, where Gideon is doing missionary work, and bring him back. Their conversation is surprisingly racist, referencing chicken bone voodoo, AIDS, and cannibalism. (Left: Port au Prince)

Judy's first boyfriend: Judy meets with BJ "at a neutral location," the Outback Steakhouse, to give back the stuff he left. She admits that she hasn't really "gobbled 1,000 cocks"; it was a lie to impress him.  She continues with a monologue about her only previous boyfriend, actually her economics professor in college: she misinterpreted his casual conversation,  sexually assaulted him in his office, then kidnapped his son. BJ is mostly shocked that she never had vaginal sex before, so he "took her virginity."  Do you think Keefe took Kelvin's virginity on the night of the Club Sinister rescue?

More after the break

"The Deuce": The top 10 penises of the mafiosi, porn stars, and gay activists in 1970s New York

 

Link to the nude photos

The Deuce stars James Franco as Vincent and Frankie Marino, twin brothers who run a Mafia front in New York City during the 1970s. There's an adult film studio nearby, which means a lot of naked guys.  Usually while they're having sex with women, but still, a dick is a dick.  Here are the top 10 contenders.

1. Gbinga Akinagbe as a pimp turned actor.

2. John Paul Harkin, left, as an adult film performer. 

3.  Jarrod Goolsby as a Viking in an adult film.

4. Gary Carr as a bad-guy pimp.

5. Chris Coy as the owner of a gay club.

More after the break.