A gay romance on "Barnaby Jones"? Yes, the one starring Jed Clampett and Catwoman

It's the cold,  windy Thursday night four days before Halloween, during my senior year in high school.  The family has gathered in front of the tv set, as usual: the tv is on every night from dinnertime to bedtime, a backdrop to all of our other activities.

7:00: Welcome Back, Kotter.   The high school underachievers evaluate the principal's novel, John Travolta says "Up your nose with a rubber hose," and Horshak (Ron Pallilo) explains, yet again, that his name means "The cattle are dying."  Yawn.

7:30: What's Happening!. Inner city prettyboy Dwayne (Haywood Nelson) helps his dad run for city council.  I haven't figured it out yet, but I'm still mesmerized by the guy's bulge and backside.

At 8:00, my parents want to watch Barney Miller, but I go upstairs to watch James at Fifteen on my small portable tv.  It's the second episode of the teen drama starring Lance Kerwin as a high school swimmer.  

When it's over, I turn off the tv and start doing homework.  A few minutes later, my brother Ken comes clomping up the stairs.  "You'll never guess what they're watching down there!" he exclaims.  "Barnaby Jones!"

"You're kidding -- Jed Clampett as a private eye?"  The oldster detective is played by the star of the Beverly Hillbillies.

"And Catwoman is his secretary!"  Lee Meriwether, who plays Barnaby's daughter-in-law, was Catwoman on Batman.

"Gross!  Next they'll have Scooby-Doo!"

Ken laughs.  "Don't take my word for it.  Come downstairs and watch."

"Geezer tv?  No way!"  My friends would rib me unmercifully if they found out I had watched something as lame as Barnaby Jones!

Ignoring me, he flips the tv on, and clicks the dial to CBS.

No Jed Clampett, no Catwoman.  Two cute young guys, one in a muscle shirt that displays baseball-sized biceps, the other in skin-tight jeans that reveal an enormous bulge.  They are standing so close together that they seem about to kiss.

Muscle Shirt: You're the  man for me!

Tight Jeans: Let's not get carried away..."

"Two homosexuals?"  I exclaim. "You didn't tell me there were homosexuals on this show!"

Kenny shrugs.  "They must be the bad guys."

"Well, turn it off.  Seeing those freaks makes me sick!"

In the year or so before I figured it out, I was extremely homophobic.  Even my friends commented on it: 'What is your problem with gays?"  I thought of gay men as frilly little lacy things, fluttering about at their jobs as hairdressers and interior designers, destroying everything that was hard and warm and masculine.  Yet here were two hard-bodied, masculine gay guys.  How was that possible?

The next week I pretend to be immersed in a book in order to watch Barnaby Jones with my parents.  Tight-Jeans is Mark Shera, playing Barnaby's nephew, a law school student.  But he definitely likes girls.  

Born Mark Shapiro in 1949, a 1971 graduate of Boston University, Mark Shera got some teen idol attention for S.W.A.T. (1975-76), where he played Officer Dominic Luca.  This led to his gig on Barnaby Jones (1976-80), plus episodes of the usual 1970s and 1980s series: Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Murder She Wrote, Matt Houston. 

 Mark seems to have retired from acting in the mid-1990s.  I can't find any more recent information about him, except that he may have gone into real estate, and he's never married.  That could mean that he is gay in real life.

What about Muscle Shirt, with his baseball-sized biceps and the romantic plaint of "You're the man for me?"  He must have been a guest star.

Before the days of the internet, there was no way to track down the episode.  I waited for summer reruns, but by that time I was working at the Carousel Snack Bar in the mall on Thursday nights.  The scene of gay romance was lost forever. 

Until a few days ago, when I found a photo of the scene on ebay, which led to the entire episode on Youtube: "Gang War."

I misread the scene:  Barnaby isn't around, so gang member Duke (Muscle Shirt) kidnaps JR and forces him to solve the murder of his buddy.  The others think that a rival gang is responsible, and threaten to start a "gang war," so it's high stakes. There are some gay subtexts, but not between Duke and JR. 

 he's not in love with Mark Shera, he's about to kidnap him.

Muscle Shirt was Asher Brauner (1945-2021), who has 38 acting credits listed on the IMD.  He is best known for Switchblade Sisters (1975), about a bikini-wearing girl gang, and Treasure of the Moon Goddess (1987), about a bikini-wearing pop star being romanced by a man-mountain in the jungle

Sounds like a lot of hetero-sleaze, but he also appeared in some gay-themed movies:

Alexander: the Other Side of Dawn (1977): Teenage Alexander (Leigh McCloskey) is seduced into the sordid, disgusting world of gay hustlers and rent-boys. Asher plays Buddy, a straight guy who befriends him and helps him abandon the "gay lifestyle."  

In Making Love (1980),  Zack (Michael Ontkean) is married to Claire (Kate Jackson), but begins to realize that he is gay through a romance with a handsome writer (Harry Hamlin).  While investigating her husband's affair, Claire (Kate Jackson) meets  Ted (Asher), a brawny, working-class guy -- a first on television.  Playing a gay guy in 1980 took a lot of courage, even for an actor who usually played horny straight guys.

Asher never married, so maybe he was gay in real life.

Maybe I didn't misinterpret the scene.  Could I have noticed some real chemistry between two closeted actors on a long-ago episode of Barnaby Jones?

See also: Glenn Scarpelli: the star of "One Day at a Time" and "Jennifer Slept Here" grows up, comes out, and gets a husband

Lance Kerwin: The Golden Boy of the 1970s

Harry Hamlin Making Love

Muscleboys in French Class: the Signe de Piste

During my senior year in high school, I thought myself too mature for the boys' adventure books in the Green Library, so I asked my French teacher for something about "adventure" with "no girls in it."  She reached onto her bookshelf and gave me one of those pulpy French paperbacks: Guy de Larigaudie, Yug.  A boy living in prehistoric times who domesticates animals, discovers fire, and travels to distant lands.  And is drawn as a semi-n*de preteen.

Ok, that wasn't quite what I was looking for.  I was 16 years old, not really into kids.  Maybe two teenage boys together? 

Les tambours de l'ete (Summer of the Drums), by Theodore V. Olsen. Michigan Territory, 1832, settlers and Indians each mistrust each other.  Only two teenage boys. Kevin and the Indian To-Mah, can help them reconcile.

Both are drawn as slim, golden muscle gods in loincloths or altogether nude, clinging together in an idealized Old West.

Ok, but I didn't care for Westerns.  Something a tad more contemporary?

Mon Ami Carlo (My Friend Carlo), by Gine Victor.  A new boy arrives at a dull boarding school in Italy. A thin boy with a pale face, ebony hair, and eyes like stars.  Milo instantly fell in love with him.  They bedded down for the night in their underwear, their smooth hard chests glowing in the moonlight.

Now I had to ask: what was this publisher who specialized in teenagers in love, and who was this illustrator who created endless pages of muscle gods?

The publisher: Signe de Piste, a collection of boys' adventure novels published between 1937 and the 1990s, most with gay subtexts.

The illustrator: Pierre Joubert (1910-2002), who illustrated many scouting publications as well as many of the Signe de Piste series.  He  specialized in idealized semi-n*de teenagers, muscular, blonde when he could get away with it, enjoying the pleasures of "comradeship."

With Signe de Piste, the Green Library, Alix and Enak, Tintin, Corentin, and Spirou, how could gay boys growing up in France ever feel alone?

Hector Garcia: The um...androgynous young man from "Everybody Hates Chris" has a husband...I mean good buddy....and a d*ck

   

Link to the less-than-fully clothed photos

Everybody Hates Chris (2005-09), with comedian Chris Rock narrating his childhood experiences in the 1980s: sure, it had a lot of beefcake, with Dad Terry Crews and brother Tequan Richmond.  At least in the first two seasons, there was a strong gay-subtext romance between Young Chris (Tyler James Williams, who as an adult strongly defends himself against gay "accusations") and Greg (Vincent Martella, who is gay but was not out at the time).    But there were frequent homophobic digs, for no apparent reason than to invite the audience to share the grown-up Chris's homophobia.

At a party, a boy is kissing a long-haired person wearing pants, and the grown-up Chris exclaims "I sure hope that's a girl!"  It's your show. Why not just tell the director to make sure that everyone is obviously heterosexual in the scene?  

When the grown-up Chris thinks that Young Chris and Greg are getting too close, he exclaims "Hey, this ain't Brokeback!"  So you're expressing homophobia at yourself as a boy? You got issues, dude.

No gay people appear or are mentioned; the closest they dared come was with Angel (Hector A. Garcia).

In Episode 4.2, "Everybody Hates Cake," Chris signs up for a home economics class as a way to get close to the Girl of His Dreams Remember, heteronormativity dictates that the teenage boy has only one motive for every action: to meet girls.  He is partnered with femme boy Angel, who is besties with the Girl but can't cook.  That's why you take the class, nimrod.  Maybe they could help each other, an introduction in exchange for cooking lessons?   

The femme mannerisms make Chris extremely uncomfortable, but --winning the Girl!  Dad advises him that some men are...um...er...andr*.  But they can't help it.  You shouldn't shun someone for something that's not their fault.  So Chris agrees to the trade, but when he starts to like Angel and asks to hang out, the snobbish (grown-up Chris:racist!)  jerk rejects him. 

Note: the blogger censors don't like the word Dad used, so I have to blot it out.  It means combining men's and women's gender expectations.

I wanted to know about the actor playing the Angel,  Hector A. Garcia.  Is he...um...er... andr* in real life?

First, any...um...er...andr* roles?

Hector grew up in Pacoima, California, just north of Burbank.  He is a "Proud Valley Boy" and "professional couch potato."  His acting career begins in 2003 with the shorts Carter's Wish (everybody's wishes start coming true, literally) and La Cerca (the 17-year old Niño discovers "a world beyond the barbed-wire fence" of his grandfather's ranch).

Next came some guest spots on tv series -- In Justice, The Cleaner, The Shield, NCIS -- where he apparently played Hispanic teens in graffiti-strewn neighborhoods.

After Chris, Hector starred in five episodes of Brothers (2009) -- not to be confused with the psychological thriller Brothers (2009), or Brothers and Sisters (2006-2011), which has a gay sibling.  This one had Michael Strahan and Daryl Mitchell as estranged brothers running a restaurant.  Hector plays a cook. 

Coincidentally, Tichina Arnold, the Mom on Everybody Hates Chris, plays Cynthia.  

Then came some guest spots on Till Dea***, Bad Therapy, B**ze Lightyear, and Good Samaritans.  

And The Undershepherd (2012): Two best friend ministers rise in the ranks of the Baptist Church, but one is being led by God, and the other by the Guy From Down Under.  

Hector plays TD, presumably a church member.  The Baptist Church doesn't look kindly on um...er...andr* men, so appearing in this movie suggests that our boy is straight.

Less-than-fully-clothed photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

In 2016, Hector became the producer/ writer/ star of The Office Chronicles, a short about "true feelings revealed" at the office: Jerry (Hector) is in love with Becky, but she's in love with Sean (Marlon Begue), who absolutely cannot act, and admits an infidelity, whereupon she decides that she wants to stop seeing him.  Sounds heteronormative. Dude is definitely a straight Baptist.

Wait -- in 2021, Hector starred in the podcast No Such Thing, not to be confused with the supernatural thriller No Such Thing (2021).  Hector plays Jesus, a gay guy who is working in a bookstore and dating Don (Jimmy Clabots, not fully clothed on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).  He comes out to Mom and Dad in the last episode.

I'm confused.  Are you um...er...andr* or not, buddy?

More after the break

Julian Hilliard: A gay superhero and two gay-subtext boyfriends, but is he gay in real life or just teasing? With some co-star d*cks

  

Link to the n*de photos

I decided to research Julian Hilliard based on this photo on the teen idol site.   He asks "Who is Craig?" and answers: "really goofy, friendly, funny." Obviously his boyfriend.

As of this writing, Julian is only 14.  Few guys have figured out that they're gay by that age, and even fewer have the guts to post about it openly in their social media.  

But maybe his coming out process was facilitated by playing a gay character: Billy Maximoff.

In the Marvel comics tv series Wandavision (2021), Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, is memory-erased and trapped in a series of sitcoms, along with her husband Vision (Wanda-Vision, get it?) and various residents of Westview, New Jersey.   Vision is dead in the real world, and their two sons, Billy (Julian, the one being licked) and Tommy (Jett Klyne), were created to maintain the illusion, so when Wanda learns the truth and releases the town from its curse, her husband and sons cease to exist.

Or do they?

In Agatha All Along (2024), the witch Agatha Harkness takes on a sort of apprentice, whom everyone  calls Teen because he  can't reveal his real name due to a sigil.  In a big reveal, we learn that he is Billy Maximoff, memory-wiped and moved into the body of Billy Kaplan, who died in an auto accident just as Wanda was releasing Westview from its curse. 

Teen (Joe Locke) is gay, with a boyfriend who appears in two episodes.

In the comics, Billy came out in 2013, and  joined the Young Avengers as the superhero Wiccan, Marvel's first gay Jewish superhero.  He dated and eventually married Hulking (no relation to the Incredible Hulk).

Did the producers know that Julian was gay when they cast him as Billy in 2021?  Was he already out at age ten?  Or did he figure it out during his research into the role?

To determine the answer, I'll check his other acting roles and social media.  Julian was born in Dallas in 2011, into a show biz family: Mom is an actress, Dad a producer/director.  I didn't find anything of immediate gay interest in their works.

His first starring role was in The Haunting of Hill House (2018): A family moves into Hill House in 1992, and is forced to leave due to the haunting.  26 years later, the grown-up children must return. Gulp.  

Julian plays Young Luke.

The adult Luke (Oliver Jackson-Cohen, left) is a struggling drug addict, and the adult Steven (Michael Huisman, d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) is a writer whose book about the haunting became a best-seller, alienating his family.  Both are hetero, but their sister Theodora is a lesbian.  So some gay representation in Julian's first major acting gig.

More after the break