"A Remarkable Tale": Remarkable Gay Inclusivity

A Remarkable Tale is a terrible title; the movie could be about anything. The original Spanish title, Lo Nunca Visto ("I have never seen it"), is no better. But it begins with a striking image: four people (including buffed model Ricardo Nkosi)  in traditional West African costumes running through the snow.

Nobody in West Africa dresses like that, except for ceremonies and tourist shows.  And it doesn't snow.  How did they get to the north?  A time warp from the 19th century?

You have no choice but to watch.

Cut to Upper Fuentejuela, a small, isolated mountain village in Spain, which has lost almost all of its residents to the lure of the big city, so town bigwig Teresa (Carmen Machi) and Jaime (Pepon Nieto), who I think is her ex-husband, are  trying to attract newcomers with "Open Day":  egg custard tarts, necklaces, and a song.  But nobody shows up.

Meanwhile Evil Corporate Shill is threatening annexation.

Teresa and Jaime drop in to yell at long-haired layabout Guiri (model Jon Kortajarena, below) for not showing up to Open Day.   Their son Carlos (Miguel Canaveras, right) decides to stay and hang out with Guiri.

A gay relationship?

When the West Africans show up, Teresa and Jaime assume that they are dangerous cannibals.  The Africans, in turn, believe that all white people are dangerous cannibals.

After the misunderstandings are cleared up, we learn the truth: the Africans are victims of human trafficking,  lured to Spain for a "dance competition" and forced to work in a brothel.

So three men and a woman are working in a brothel with male customers?  Interesting gay inclusivity.

They escaped, but are stuck in a country full of "dangerous cannibals."  And the police are looking for them.

They hide out with Teresa and Jaime, and gradually become involved in the life of the village.  And fall in love.

Teresa begins dating Azquil (Malcolm Sitté).

Guiri (left) begins dating Latisha (Montse Pia).

Calulu (Jimmy Castro), who turns out to be into drag, begins dating Jaime.

 Shukra (Ricardo Nkosi, top photo) doesn't date anyone, but he bonds with Jaime's mother.

They also save the day, of course.  And everybody hugs and proposes marriage while the Evil Corporate Shill fumes.

It's rather cliched: how many times have you seen outsiders burst into a small town and save the day with their joie de vivre?

But the West African-Spanish clash adds interest, and the gay plotline is unique.

Gay characters:  Everybody in town is sort of queer.

Beefcake: None, except the opening costumes. Pity; why cast buffed models if you're not going to show their physiques?

My grade: B+

"The War Next Door": LGBTQIAI is the same in English and Spanish

 

The War Next Door (Guerra de Vecinos) is a Mexican sitcom about a nouveau riche "hillbilly" family who moves next door to a family of stuffy socialites.  Culture clashes, humorous squabbles, and caring and sharing result.  I watched the episode "Game On."

Scene 1: The hillbilly family is having breakfast and complaining about the stinkiness of their underwear, due to Hillbilly Mom's inability to use a washing machine.  Cata, the maid of the Snob family, appears.  She says that she quit in protest, and needs a job.  Hillbilly Mom doesn't need any help, but Cata can stay with them while looking for a new job.

Scene 2: Snob Mom is screwing up breakfast; she's never actually had to cook before.  Teenage son Diego (Marco Leon) is ordering sushi instead.  They discuss the upcoming football (soccer) game between Dad's company and his rival.  This time Dad plans to use Diego as his secret weapon.

Scene 3: Hillbillies watching tv, while Cata does a great job with the laundry, vacuuming, and preparation of sandwiches.

Scene 4: Snob Dad discovers that Diego actually can't play football, but daughter Crista can.  So she's "hired" and will play at the big game.

Scene 5: Hillbilly Uncle Tomas (Christian Vasquez, top photo) giving young teen Pablito (Armando Said) advice on how to get with Crista, the Snob's daughter, whom he taught to drive in the last episode.  But Pablito is more interested in talking about his social media presence.  He already has a lot of followers, including one who is "big and strong" and sent him a shirtless pic.  Uncle Tomas: "I'm starting to wonder if you are playing for the opposite team."  

Scene 6: Cata demonstrates to Hillbilly Mom how to take out the garbage.  Snob Mom comes out of her house.  They have a "you're looking well" ex-lover conversation.

Scene 7:  Uncle Tomas is demonstrating how Pablito can attract guys by dancing with his butt swaying.  Sister bursts in.  

Uncle Tomas: "Pablito plays for the other team."  

Sister: "Just because Pablito likes his mother and gets scared watching horror movies, doesn't mean he's gay. Pablito, Uncle Tomas is being completely heteronormative (no, he's not, but I'm surprised the writers know that word). There are lots of ways to label yourself.  Let's find the one you're most comfortable with."

Uncle Tomas: "Nonsense!  There are only two labels: top and bottom."

Scene 8: Snob Mom tells Dad her scheme to win Cata back from the hillbilly neighbors.  Dad mentions that he invited Hillbilly Dad to play on his team: "Hillbillies are always good at football.  It's in their blood."

Scene 9: Sister has set up a chalkboard to explain the various terms in the acronym LGBTQAIA.  Uncle Tomas wants to help with a quiz that he found in a magazine: 1. "Who do you prefer, Ricky Martin or Bandas Machos?"; 2. "Do you use facial cream?; 2. "Have you ever been in a gay bar?"  But the quiz identifies Uncle Tomas as gay and Pablito as straight.  

Sister and Uncle Tomas argue.  Finally, fed up, Pablito says "My sexual identity is NOYB: None of Your Business."  

Scene 10: More about the maid.

Scene 11: Hillbilly Dad can't perform in bed: he's too worried about the upcoming football match.  

Scene 12: The Big Game.  

Scene 13: Uncle Tomas apologizes to Pablito: "The quiz we did wasn't cool.  Your problem isn't that you play for the other team...but she does."  He points to Crista, the Girl Next Door.  "Picking up a lesbian is impossible."

Sister rushes up: "Just because a girl is good at soccer doesn't mean she's a lesbian." She turns to Pablito: "You can be whatever you want, except an asshole."

Scene 13: More stuff about the maid.

I went through the other episodes on fast-forward to see if Pablito actually is gay.  Nope -- he has a crush on Girl Next Door Crista, although she thinks of him as "my best friend."   When she kisses him on the cheek, he collapses into a slurry of hetero-horniness.  But at least his family is gay-positive.

Bruce Springsteen: Gay Ally with a Sordid Past

Bruce Springsteen, "The Boss," went completely under my radar in the 1970s and 1980s.  I knew "Blinded by the Light" (1973), but only through the 1977 cover by Manfred Mann's Earth Band, something about a teenage boy who "pumps his way into a hat" and is  "wrapped up like a douche."

The actual word is "deuce," but I have no idea what a deuce is.  Something to do with card playing?

I knew "Born in the U.S.A." (1984), but I thought it was a jingoistic patriotic anthem, not an indictment of our treatment of Vietnam War veterans.  How could you get that from:

Born in the USA, I was born in the USA, I'm a cool rockin' Daddy in the USA.

And I had a vague image of dead-end towns, pick-up trucks, hard-drinking men who worked in factories and the women who gave their lives meaning, gross heterosexist country-western stuff, nothing I would want to listen to.

There are lots of homophobic slurs in his songs.

In "Lost in the Flood" (1973), a returning Vietnam veteran moans that the countryside's burning with wolfman fairies dressed in drag for homicide.  

Not a very positive depiction of the Gay Rights Movement.

In "Tokyo" (1973), as the sun rises, a macho garbage man gets ready for work:  He hurriedly sipped his beer, and poked fun of the queer, and threatened to kick his ass.

"Backstreets" (1975) two friends grow up on the mean streets.  One of their pastime is "ripping off the fags."

More recently, "Balboa Park" (1995) talks about hustling: Where the men in their Mercedes come nightly to employ the services of the border boys

No positive references to gay people, but "Streets of Philadelphia" (1993) which was used in the movie starring Tom Hanks as gay man dying of AIDS, can be about any gay person's struggle with a brutal, heartless, homophobic world .

Ain't no angel gonna greet me,  it's just you and I my friend
And my clothes don't fit me no more.  A thousand miles just to slip this skin

Nevertheless, Springsteen claims that he had gay friends from the very beginning, and at least since the 1990s, he has been a vocal ally of the gay community.  He cancelled a concert in North Carolina in protest of the homophobic and transphobic House Bill 2:

"Some things are more important than a rock show, and this fight against prejudice and bigotry is one of them."

The Blink-and-you-miss-them Non-Speaking Gay Couple of "Dawn of the Croods"

 

The Croods (2013) is an animated comedy about a family of crude, not-quite-evolved homo sapiens who experience a generation gap caused by teenage daughter Eep's boyfriend, a more-evolved teen idol-type named Guy (voiced by Ryan Reynolds).

I didn't watch the movie, worrying that it would show a ridiculous ignorance of prehistory, like humans co-existing with dinosaurs (over 50% of the U.S. population believes that they did).  But apparently there are no gay subtexts.

A prequel tv series, Dawn of the Croods, streamed on Netflix from 2017 to 2020, with younger, cuter Croods immersed in an entire community: rich, poor, intelligent, stupid, bureaucrats, workers, sentient animals.  Yes, there are dinosaurs.  Guy isn't around, but not to worry, there's a Guy-like "dreamy boy" whom Eep gets a crush on (they don't date).  

In the last episode of the series, "This is an End," a meteor is headed toward the valley so everyone will die unless they come up with a plan.  We see flashbacks, strategic sessions, psychedelic drugs, a pteradactyl-powered space ship. Finally they accept their fate:  "Death is a part of life.  But it doesn't matter.  What matters is spending your life with family."

Then they get the idea of rolling a boulder into the volcano and shooting it at the meteor.  It works!  

Everyone celebrates by kissing and hugging.  Mostly boy-girl, but also two girls (hugging only), two men, a man kissing a pile of meat, a boy kissing his own image, and a man trying to kiss a dog monster, which eats him.

Wait -- two men?

Fans go wild.  A gay couple!  Gay representation on The Croods!

The producers confirm that they are indeed a gay couple, not one of the ridiculous kissing objects.

So who are these guys? Did they pop up out of nowhere, just to add gay representation at the last minute?

They are definitely not regular characters.  They appear in three episodes, and get only one line between them.

In "Voice Fail," Wal, the bald guy, appears alone in a crowd scene.    Later he is paired with fellow muscleman Mow for a hunt.

Wal and Loo appear together in "Weighting is the Hardest Part," but only Loo, the little guy, speaks.  He wants to know if he has made the hunting team, and gets marked down as "predator chow."  

In "Flowers for Munk," two guys are slacking off, and the boss, Amber, tells them to get back to work.  "No make Amber separate you two, like Wal and Loo."  (She's the only cave person who talks that way)

The two are standing on opposite sides of a line drawn in the dirt.  Loo "texts" an unhappy emoji on a slate, which Amber threatens to share with the whole hunting party.  

So there's was blink-and-you-miss-them non-speaking gay couple on Dawn of the Croods.  Is that enough representation for an entire tv series?