Michael Welch: Flying starships, fighting zombies, getting baked, showing his physique

Link to the d*ck pics

You probably remember Michael Welch from the Twilight saga, about a girl torn between vampire and werewolf boyfriends (Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner).  He plays a human who has an unrequited crush on her.

Michael had sharp features and striking eyes that make him look angelic, demonic, or alien, so he was often cast as a  gay-vague outsider, even if his characters sometimes experienced unrequited heterosexual passions.

He began his acting career at the age of 10 in Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)  as Artim, a boy from a non-technological planet who bonds with the android Data.  performance won him a Young Artist Award.

Next came a series of paranormal and science fiction roles, including a clone of Colonel Jack O'Neill (Richard Dean Anderson) who just wants to be a normal teenager, on Stargate SG-1.  

He guest-starred in a number of sitcoms and dramatic series, including a memorable role as a new neighbor who falls for the brainy Malcolm in Malcolm in the Middle.

On Joan of Arcadia (2003-2005), Michael plays Luke Girardi, genius brother of the girl who talks to God,  He has a homoromantic buddy-bond with his best friend Friedman (Aaron Himmelstein), although he's also girl-crazy.

In The United States of Leland (2003), his mentally-challenged Ryan is murdered by classmate Leland, Ryan Gosling, who is dating his sister.

The Grind (2009) is about a grifter, Luke (C. Thomas Howell), who depends on his friends Josh and Courtney (Michael, Tanya Allen) to get him out of a jam. They start a sleazy website, but things go sour, and Luke has to rescue them from the Mexican mafia.

In Lost Dream (2009), college student Perry (Michael) falls for nihilistic free-spirit Giovanni (Shaun Sipos), who is involved in risky sex, drugs, and games of Russian roulette.  He must save Gio before it's too late.

As we often find, teenage gay-subtext roles give way to a thoroughly heteronormative adulthood.  Hansel and Gretel Get Baked, 2013, about a witch who lures teenagers into her house and drugs them with marijuana before literally baking them for dinner.  

More after the break

In Z Nation, 2014-15, Michael plays zombie apocalypse survivor Mack, "an all-American jock with an eye for the ladies."  Why is being attracted to women considered a defining trait on the fan wiki?  Lots of people find women attractive.

In The Grounds, 2018, the alcoholic Calvin, played by Trevor Morgan, cons his way into a job as groundskeeper for the reclusive Michael. They buddy bond, but also fight over The Girl.

In the 2020s, he has been very busy:

Nick in A Christmas Hero, a Christian drama, not a romcom.

Jody in the Western The Last Shoot Out

Ryan in Scrambled, about a "perpetual bridesmaid on a journey of self-discovery."

Michael has an OnlyFans page, but so far he's only posted shirtless shots.  His only d*ck pic is in M.F.A., 2017.  That's Master of Fine Arts: an art student finds inspiration in killing and painting rapists. Michael plays a...well, you know.

In real life, Michael is a gay ally.  That doesn't really make up for a career-full of heteronormative plotlines, but it's a start.  

See also: The Top 15 Hunks of the Twilight Saga

Obliterated: Do you want a review of "the worst movie of 2024," or should I skip to the good parts?

Simon Rex: From gay-ish videos to homophobic comedy to Bupkis