Joel Rush's Hot/H*ng Photos, Part 2: Beefcake, including That Scene and a kiss

Link to the n*de photos

Joel Rush, playing Sky, was one of the most popular and sadistic members of the Righteous Gemstones Season 2 God Squad.  He undermined Kelvin's authority, forced him and Keefe to move out of the master bedroom, and then subject Keefe to various tortures while he was confined in the tiger cage.  But some of the tortures provided beefcake pleasures for viewers.

When Keefe is imprisoned in the tiger cage after the cross-raising challenge, the God Squad uses a ___ to s*xually assault him.  Since it looks out onto the main quad, Keefe also uses it as an eye-hole.  When Sky shoves his d*ck through, hoping for a bj, he accidentally stabs Keefe in the eye.  Or was it deliberate?

Joel Rush has a number of other n*de and semi-n*de scenes in his work.

A jockstrap shot.

A rear shot.

The obligatory b*ndage scene.

More after the break

Champions: Gay kid with two dads played by Andy Favreau and Anders Holm

TV series that failed after only 10 episodes used to fade into oblivion.  Now they are picked up by streaming services, Amazon Prime, Vudu, and Netflix.  But streaming services also have self-contained 10-episode series, designed to tell a story and end.  Which is Champions?

Episode 1: We open in a run-down Brooklyn gym, where two guys, a hunk and a dork, are arguing over whether to get a dog.  A gay couple?  Nope, just heterosexual life partners -- gym owner Vince (Anders Holm, below) and his layabout brother Matthew (Andy Favreau, left). Think Alan and Charlie of Two and a Half Men.

  Suddenly a gunman bursts in, threatening to kill Vince for sleeping with his wife. Matthew convinces him that Vince has such a horible life that death would be a blessing.  This is the stuff of comedy?

Is it just me, or are the pair named wrong?  The hunk should be named Vince, and the dork Matthew. And shouldn't the one with the muscular physique be the gym owner?  Did the actors get their casting calls switched?

Also, why is it the dork who has sex with a hundred women per day, beginning in high school, where he got his girlfriend Priya (Mindy Kaling) pregnant?

Speak of the devil.  Cut to the ritzy Manhattan Academy of the Performing Arts, where 15-year old Michael (transgender actress Josie Totah, before she transitioned) is being told that there's a problem with his application (whose bright idea was it to name the two stars Michael and Matthew?).  The Dean of Admissions, who admitted him and offered to let him stay in his house, has been arrested in a "Jared from Subway type sting," so Michael (the kid) has nowhere to live.

Wait -- Michael (the kid) was being groomed by a pedophile?  This is the stuff of comedy?

The solution is clear: Michael (the kid) can live with Dad Vince (the dork) and Uncle Matthew (the hunk), who didn't know that he existed before today.

The rest of the series: Michael is the only kind of gay kid one ever sees on tv, an uber-swishy, facial product-wearing, show tune-obsessed swish.  He reminds me of Justin from Ugly Betty, except that Justin took five years to come out, and Michael's gayness is a done deal, not ever questioned.  In this world, homophobia does not exist.

But racism does: Vince has a type, preferring to date Indian women, although he's eclectic in his choice of bedroom partners. Anti-Indian and other racial prejudice is frequently evoked.

Michael proceeds to rehabilitate his two Dads. He encourages Vince to cut back on his womanizing, Matthew to study for his GED, and the duo to reconcile with their estranged mother.  He helps out at the gym, too, revising its web page and giving gym bookkeeper Dana (Ginger Gonzaga) advice on her love life. 

Not that Michael (the kid) lacks problems:  he's painfully naive about everything but musical theater, he struggles to embrace his Indian heritage and to accept the fact that he's no longer the most talented performer in his school.

I watched one of the two "someone tries to take Michael away" episodes:  Rich Uncle Ro (Hasan Minhaj) breezes into town, courts Michael with trips to Paris and tickets to Broadway musicals, and petitions to take over as the boy's guardian.  Vince and Matthew (the dork  -- no, wait, Vince is the dork, Matthew the hunk) discover that he doesn't care about Michael (the kid) at all; he just wants his urine for drug tests.

In the other episode I watched, Vince (the dad) finds a sexy poster of Matt Bomer in Michael's room, and decides that it's time for "the talk."  But he knows nothing about gay sex, so he conducts research, and prepares a 4-hour long lecture beginning with the need for a Hepatitis B vaccine, which mortifies Matthew -- um, I mean Michael (the kid).

And what does this mean: "If you have any questions about this (rubbing his chest), let me know."

Um...fondling the chest is not Second Base for gay men.

The characters are likeable, and the conundrums, if not original, are pleasant.  The caste is diverse, with many Indian actors showcased.

I would prefer more beefcake in a show set in a gym (even the personal trainers are rather less than muscular).  And there are occasional cringeworthy moments of sexualization that give the whole show a bad taste.

Michael looks much younger, and characterizes himself as "a kid" and "a little boy."  He's not even ready for his first kiss.  But Vince suspects that Uncle Ro has a sexual intent with Michael, and he rubs his chest in a weird attempt to portray gay second base.  It's not a raunch-fest, like Two and a Half Men, but still, we could do without jokes like that.

In the last episode, Michael brings a dreamy boy (Kevin Quinn) home for dinner.  Vince takes that opportunity to announce that he has taken a job managing a baseball team in Louisiana (really?), leading to an abandonment-argument and fist fight with Matthew (the hunk), thus ruining Michael's first date.

Not to worry, Vince decides not to go.  Zoom out with the three riffing.

I'll give it a B

Answer: Champions was cancelled by NBC, and failed to find a home elsewhere.  Josie Totah has transitioned, so she will probably not be playing any more boys.  So this is all you're going to get of  Michael, Matthew, and Vince.

Which one is which, again?

For more of Andy Favreau, see: Rideshare: Skyler Gisondo's Bar Mitzvah, Beau Mirchoff's Dick, and Andy Favreau just because

For more of Anders Holm, see: Workaholics: Penis jokes and buddy-bonding at a Gay Pride Party

Jake Kelley's Hot/Hung Photos, Part 2: Modeling, Arm-Wrestling, and Nekkid Cowboys

See the NSFW version of this post here.

In 2023, Jake Kelley was an up-and-coming actor, with major roles in The Righteous Gemstones, Dogwood and the Secrets that Bind Us.  The writers' and actors' strikes have kept him off screen for several months, but he's making good use of his down time with theater and modeling.  

When he was in Los Angeles to model for  UScape Apparel (collegiate sweaters, t-shirts, and such), he took time off for a vacation.

Playing volleyball in Hermosa Beach.

Riding horses in San Luis Obispo

Holding hands with a guy in a cowboy bar.  Yes, I know that they're arm-wrestling, but you should see some of the comments on Jake's instagram page,  Mega-homoerotic.  One of the least graphic is: "Save a horse, ride a cowboy."

There are some nekkid cowboys who may or may not be Jake Kelley on  Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

"Sun in My Mouth": Adult man well over legal age rides the subway, goes to the beach, does some other stuff

 

Blogger keeps putting my stuff behind "sensitive content" warnings, but I have no idea why.  Is it because I said g*y, because I referred to an adult man as a b*y, because I said something bad about Russia, or because I used a term which sometimes refers to a mental disorder?   I'll just change or hide everything.

Link to the other stuff

While looking at random pictures, I came across Sun in My Mouth, with Artem Shcherbakov as an adult man, well over legal age, who goes to the beach while looking sad but not suffering from any mental disorders, and then returns to his empty apartment to do other stuff while still looking sad but not suffering from any mental disorders.

Black and white, extremely washed out, amateurish, with random close-ups of his face and hands and nonsequiter images.  It looked like one of those 1960s amateur films or one of the early G*y Liberation movies like A Very Natural Thing.  But it is dated 2010.

Extremely mysterious.  Russia is a wonderful country that I would never consider criticizing, but it doesn't usually allow this content.  And what is the meaning of "sun in my mouth?"  A Russian proverb?

 According to the IMDB, "It's a film about how we attempt to connect and understand other people by understanding ourselves."

I couldn't find the film itself, but the trailer is very artistic/experimental, black and white.  Artem rides a subway -- wait, those signs are in English -- walks on the beach, broods, goes home to an empty apartment, and does other stuff.

Is it even Russian?  Jessica Yatrovsky has nothing else listed on the IMDB.  The guy he talks to is played by Andrew Yang -- not a Russian name.

A man. So this is a g*y film?  So Artem is sad because he's struggling to come out?  

Artem has only one other acting role listed on the IMDB,  A Four Letter Word, 2007: "hook-up artist Luke considers becoming monogamous" for the "smug and handsome" Stephen (Jesse Archer, Charlie David).  He is listed as Vlad.

His Linkedin says that he is the founder of ROAR Games and Zheeshee in Brooklyn.  Those are all G-rated games.

His Facebook says that he was born in Minsk, Belorussia. He attended Fort Hamilton High School in Brooklyn and Touro College, where he majored in psychology.  He married someone in 2021 and now lives in Washington DC.

More after the break. 

Fifty million Frenchmen can't be straight: Eight Bayeux boyfriends, Aix amis, and Parisian cocombres

 

 Link to the nude photos

You've probably heard the song "Fifty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong":

They say the French are naughty

They say the French are bad

They all declare that over there

The French are going mad.

They have a reputation of being very gay

I just got back from Paris, and I just want to say:

It's true.

I spent a summer in Paris in grad school, and visited regularly until COVID squashed international travel, so I have quite a lot of memories of Parisian cocombres.

Images of people I know are posted with their permission

1. The Ballet School at the Opera National.

Go in the winter -- no crowds.  On Christmas Eve, the Louvre is deserted.

2. A Turkish musician. Shower scene on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

3.  Swimmer moves

Shakespeare and Company on the Left Bank, my favorite place in Paris.  Well, aside from that bar near the Centre Pompidou...

4. Garz dans le placard -- guy in the closet

More après la pause -- after the break.  Caution: explicit.

Ike Eisenmann: Beefcake Summer

Ike Eisenmann has had a long career in acting, production, and voice work, but for gay boys growing up in the 1970s, he was famous for this scene:


Before 1978, he was a child actor, cute if a bit scruffy, doing guest roles on tv (Mannix, Gunsmoke, SWAT) and in tv-movies requiring country boys with Texas accents, mostly airing on After-School Specials.  He didn't quite make it as a Disney Adventure Boy, like Jeff East or Kurt Russell, but he appeared in a few Disney movies.

In Escape to Witch Mountain (1975), the 12 year old played Tony,  a gay-coded "kid with a secret"; he and his sister Tia (Kim Darby) are aliens.  Of the magical power variety: Tony is telekinetic, and Tia can open locked doors (useful if you've lost your key, or if you've been kidnapped).  They are trying to reach Witch Mountain to reunite with their people while an evil industrialist tries to capture them to make money from their powers.

Then came the sequel, Return from Witch Mountan (1978), with scenery-chomping Bette Davis as a new evil industrialist.  Except Tony is now 15, well into adolescence, and his lack of interest in girls is striking in an era of incessant teenage girl-craziness.  And if the gay-coding isn't enough, there is an extensive scene in which the shirtless, hypnotized Tony stands around with his small but firm muscles on display.  During the 1970s, shirtless shots were almost unheard of in Disney movies, but here it was, plain as day, for a good five minutes, with no plot justification whatsoever.

In the era before DVDs and streaming services, some gay boys saw the movie in the theater five or six times, just so they could memorize that scene.

Ike has continued to act and do voice work. He had a memorable role as a racist teen who has a change of heart (and wore extra-tight jeans) on The Jeffersons.  In 2009 he wrote and directed a tv series called The Chefsters, about people with names like Scrub B. Pots and Chefona Kitchens teaching proper nutrition.  But gay men who were children in the 1970s will always remember that bright spring day in March 1978.

"Oranges sanguines": Three despicable people run afoul of a gay guy

 

All I know about Bloody Oranges  on Amazon Prime is: France, 2021, frontal nudity, and "a virgin runs into a [gay guy]," portrayed as an effete stereotype in a glittering bathrobe.  But surely that's a misdirection.  No movie in 2021 can be so intensely homophobic.  Can it? 

Scene 1: The judges in a dance contest held in a high school gym -- they're actually named Do, Re, Mi, Fa -- complaining about that one of the contestants is disabled.  Soon they'll be getting special parking spaces. And France is full of scroungers. The producer tells them to choose the elderly couple,  for the optics.

The contest begins. All male-female couples.  One strips down to their underwear. They choose the elderly couple to go on to the next level.

Scene 2: Alexandre (Alexandre Steiger, left and top photo), and his wife in bed.  He complains that has to go see his parents in a pathetic old-person's dance contest: "They refuse to be parents and look after us." She climbs out of bed to get something.  Ugh. I'm fast forwarding.

Meanwhile, the Elderly Couple. talk to their banker. Their account is overdrawn by 2,800 euros, they have 78,000 in loans coming due, and their pension is only 2,000 per month.  So they really need this dance contest prize money.

Scene 3: The Secretary of Finance, Christophe Paou, meets with his associate, Thierry.  They discuss each other's muscles and handsomeness while Alexandre and Norma look on, bemused by the ridiculousness of two men liking each other.  

There's no Thierry in the cast list, but it may be Denis Podalytes as Le ténor du Barreau. Nobody sings in the movie, so maybe "tenor" means something different in French, some sort of public servant.

Down to business: a journalist is snooping into the Secretary's overseas accounts, where he has stashed the 100,000 euros he has skimmed off the country's budget.

"Wait -- you're not [a homophobic slur]?" Thierry asks, surprised.  I couldn't understand the French phrase. He thought the Secretary needed a bigger scandal cleaned up, like being gay, not a simple embezzlement.  No, he's "normal."

Um...former prime minister Gabriel Attai was gay.  So was the Mayor of Paris.  And  11 members of Parliament.  How is writer/director Jean-Christophe Meurisse so painfully unaware of the attitude toward LGBT people in his own country?

Scene 4: A Girl is seeing her gynecologist to prepare for her first experience.  Gynecologist describes  her body parts in creepy detail and says to expect it to be awful.  

On the way home, riding her bike through town, the Girl is insulted by a taxi driver played by Pascal Tagnati.  He yells profanity and homophobic slurs.  She pretends not to hear him, then starts yelling.  Why did he suddenly start yelling insults?  Does he hate bike riders?

Scene 5: The Secretary and his staff discuss how to cut the budget.  Crack down on welfare fraud. Eliminate free school lunches.  Criminalize single mothers.

Alexandre has dinner with his parents, the Elderly Couple, plus his brother and sister.  They all criticize each other and complain about how terrible Paris is. Plus there are trams everywhere -- they mean buses, not baby carriages: "If you're not on a bike, single, no kids, you're in the sh*t!"  So I guess the taxi driver just hates 

Scene 6: The Secretary being interviewed about his interest in sports. He discusses balls in a way that seems...never mind. Later, they film him chopping wood, cooking, and with his wife, trying to look like he's attracted to her.  So he's secretly gay.

Later, Alexandre, Thierry, and the Secretary are in the sauna.  Thierry complains: "Never again. Do you realize what you made me do? It's huge."  He means that he got rid of the snoopy journalist.

New theme or topos: a car drives through the night to a quote from Gramschi: "The old world is dying, the new world struggles to be born. Now is the time for monsters."

The Monster after the break

John Amos: Kunta Kinte, Gordy the Weatherman, James Evans, a gay husband, and my gym buddy

  

Link to the nude photos

Former footballer and coast guardsman John Amos was everywhere on television in the 1970s and 1980s.

The adult Kunta Kinte in Roots (1977).

Left: Levar Burton played the young Kunta Kinte.

Gordy the Weatherman on The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970-77)

The longsuffering dad James Evans on Good Times (1974-79)

The sword-and-sorcery fighter Seth in Beastmaster (1982)

Plus guest shots on Sanford and Son, Maude, Police Story, Love Boat, The A-Team...you name it, he was in it.

I didn't see much of him during the 80s and 90s -- not on screen, anyway.  We went to the same gym in West Hollywood.  

John was always gracious to his flirtatious gay fans, leading us to speculate that he was gay in real life -- he's been married to women twice, and has two children, but you never know.  

We never became friends, but we developed a nodding acquaintance.  And I saw him naked in the locker room once or twice.

The man had a baseball bat down there.

More after the break

"Bumper in Berlin" Episode 1,1: The Jerk from "Pitch Perfect" turns into a nice guy, moves to Berlin, and doesn't get The Girl

 

Remember Bumper, the insufferable jerk from Pitch Perfect played by Adam Devine?  In November 2022, he spun off into his own tv series, Bumper in Berlin.

Link to the Nude Photos

The only other male character in the regular cast is Pieter Kramer (Flula Borg, left).  Not many opportunities for buddy-bonding gay subtexts here, but Adam is one of most handsome men on Earth, and Flula is one of the most muscular, so maybe I'll watch with the sound off just for the face and physique.  Besides, the episodes have cute German titles like Backpfeifengesicht (face in need of a fist -- sounds like Bumper).

Scene 1: Bumper singing a capella with some old guys.  "Baby, I'll show you how a real queen behaves."  Not necessary -- I've seen Kelvin.  "You may think I'm weak without a sword, but if I had one, it'd be bigger than yours."  Tell me more about your...um, sword, Bumper. 

"If all the kings had queens on their throne, we'd toast champaign...I'll be your queen."  Girlfriend, that's as homoerotic as a song gets.  Did you forget that you're not playing Kelvin?

Lights go up.  This is a rehearsal for Bumper's new group, the Tonehangers. They'll be performing at a retirement center next month. Whoa, the old people won't know what hit them.

The other guys have to go -- wives, kids, stuff to do.  Bumper claims that he has stuff to do, too, but actually he's all alone. I hate the heterosexist equation of wife and kids with success, but I'll give it a pass due to the homoerotic song.  And he's working as a security guard at his old college but he's still planning on becoming a famous singer, somehow. Bummer, Bumper.

Scene 2:  Bumper is locking up as part of his security guard duties, when he gets a phone call from Germany: a fan of his college performances and his recent appearances on game shows and Tik-Tok.   "Wait -- how do you know all this?" Bumper asks, horrified. "Are you a pervert?"  Come on, dude, any fan would know those things.  I know that Adam was born in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.  Well, to be fair, I just remember it because my home town is nearby.  

"I'm a pervert for talent," the voice says --revealed to be Pieter Kramer.  "We have met before." Turns out that he belonged to Das Sound Machine, a rival a capella group.  "You are a big Tik Tok star in Germany."  His TikTok involved making funny faces while singing the very sad song "Neun und neunsig Luftballon."  "You got 7.6 million views!"

"That's like a million views!" Bumper exclaims.  

Pieter wants him to move to Berlin and become his client.   "It's all happening!" he exclaims.  "All of those failures were worth it, because now I'll never fail again."  Har-har.

Scene 3: Bumper arrives at a horrible, graffiti-filled, run-down building in Berlin.  Pieter greets him.  They hug; Bumper is so excited that he won't let go, but to his credit, Pieter does not recoil in homophobic contempt. 

Upstairs to his horrible office with a window facing the train tracks.  Pieter's assistant Heidi arrives: Sarah Hylund, who played Adam's girlfriend on Modern Family!  I guess we know where the sparks will fly.

An American, an airhead, she gives him American cheese (almost impossible to find in Germany) and a caffeine pill (to avoid jet lag). Sparks fly.

Pieter has prepared a comic strip of Bumper's path to superstardom, culminating in a gig as "the hottest new singer" at German Unity Day in two months.  

Scene 4:  The three walking through Brandenburg Gate, getting a sandwich from a food truck: "It's made with dead animals."  "Oh, it's meat."  

A stranger (Govinda Cholleti) and his crew recognize Bumper from his Tik-Tok!

They arrive at the horrible youth hostel where Bumper will be staying.  The scary lady manager scowls at him: "I truly am meeting you."  Har-har. 

They want to leave him alone in his horrible dorm to "get some rest," but he wants to go with them: "I'll get nervous if I'm alone."  And scared of the scary lady?

More after the break

Mary and Rhoda and Gordie the Weatherman: 1970s Hip Sitcoms

During the 1970s, the success of All in the Family led to a fad for sitcoms with hip, relevant, "mature" themes.  Most were set in "real places,"  not New York or L.A., and juxtaposed the work and home lives of young adult professionals (if they were white) or poor families (if they were African-American).

All of the adults watched, but kids were leery, unless there were teenagers in the cast.

But who wanted to watch The Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970-77), with the former star of  The Dick Van Dyke Show as a Minneapolis tv writer, when the other channel had The Most Deadly Game, with gay actor George Maharis (left) as a crime-fighting criminologist?

Or The Bob Newhart Show (1972-78), about a psychologist with wacky patients, when the other channel had The Streets of San Francisco, with the hunky Michael Douglas as a detective?

Or Rhoda, Phyllis, Maud, Good Times, That's My Mama, MASH, Sanford and Son, Chico and the Man, Archie Bunker's Place....

So I didn't begin watching until 1974, when I was in ninth grade and trying to fit in with a hipster crowd, and then only occasionally, when I had nothing else to do.  I found some gay content.

1. Beefcake.  Not a lot, but occasional bulges or hints of hairy chests. Paul Sand had a hot older brother.  Joe (David Groh), the contractor who married Rhoda, deserved special attention.

As did John Amos, who played Gordie the Weatherman on Mary Tyler Moore before scoring his own sitcom, Good Times.  He also starred as the older Kunta Kinte on Roots (1977).

2. Bonding.  I missed the overt homoromantic bond between Mary and Rhoda on Mary Tyler Moore (left), but what about Hawkeye and Trapper John on MASH, or odd couple Chico and Ed on Chico and the Man?

3. Gay-vague characters. Not a lot, but I wondered about Howard Borden (Bill Daily, right), the next-door  neighbor who dropped in every five seconds on The Bob Newhart Show.  Bill Daily also played Tony Nelson's best friend on I Dream of Jeannie, and Leif Garrett's boyfriend on an episode of Chips..

4. The first gay characters on television.

"A Perfect Couple": Sin, sleaze, jealousy, and murder, among three ultra-rich brothers, with nude shots of two.

  

I was recommended The Perfect Couple, a Netflix tv series, for the beefcake, not the gay content.

Scene 1: A lot of people and whales frolicking on the beach in Nantucket.  "You are invited to Benji and Amelia's Rehearsal Dinner," held in a white tent on the estate. The photographer asks Mrs. Rich Lady how she feels about losing her son -- he means because he's getting married.  She's ok with it, but insists that her teenage son never get married.  Creepy clinging mom.

Top photo: Sam Nivola says that it's him on his Instagram, but Just Jared says it's Patrick Schwarzenegger.  Who to believe?

The three sons are Benji, Thomas, and Will, played by Billy Howle, Jack Reynor, and Sam Nivola, but I'll call them the Groom, the Teen, and the Other Guy.

Their dad is Tag, played by Liev Schreiber.  Tag? Did he have a brother named Yahtzee?

Next the Maid of Honor discusses how much she loves the Bride, and her girlfriend looks forward to their wedding in the future .  Aww, a lesbian couple.  Then the girlfriend's boyfriend asks what will happen to him.  They joke that he can look after their seven kids.  Oh, they're just pretending to be gay.

The girlfriend's boyfriend is Shooter, played by Ishaan Khatter.

Next a Halloween witch complains that her hotel room is dégoûtant, but she won't stay with them because she likes her privacy.  The Groom asks about the champaigne and touches her hand...wait, he's cheating on his wife with a Halloween witch?  Or maybe he's just pretending, like the lesbian couple.

Lots more rich heterosexuals are introduced, but let's get on with the plot: Groom Benji says "I love this woman to death.  Hear me -- to DEATH!!!!" Dude, you might as well just say "I'm going to murder her."

Scene 2: Cut to a woman screaming "Help me," underwater shots, and dawn, with a snoring, elderly cop who looks like Captain Kangaroo getting the call. Deputy Carl -- guy's 80 years old, and hasn't gotten promoted yet?

He calls another elderly guy who is at home, drinking coffee beneath photos of his daughter to identify him as heterosexual. Chief Dan, played by Michael Beach.

Into his daughter's bedroom: "Your catering job is being cancelled.  Nobody's getting married today. Somebody died." 

Scene 3: Wedding Planner Roger, gruff Lady Detective, and the Chief at the crime scene -- a cabana chair on the beach.  Roger says he didn't know Miss Sacks well; he mostly planned through the mother.  Miss Sacks is the Bride!  Groom Benji killed her, like he promised!

Cut to the station, where Wedding Planner Roger, the Halloween Witch, and the Pretend Lesbian are interviewed.  Roger: "They're rich.  Kill someone and get away with it rich."

Intro: The family and wedding guests performing a dance, like from a Bollywood movie.

Scene 4: The Bride, Miss Sacks, being interviewed, in her wedding dress even though the wedding was scheduled for later in the day.  Wait -- I thought she was victim.  They said "Miss Sacks" at the crime scene. That must have been a misdirection.

Cut to that morning. The Bride awakens to a note from her fiance: "Good morning. I love you."  There's a ladybug on it, so she walks out to the beach.  This sequence has no purpose other than to show us the Bride's boobs.

Mrs. Winbury is running the wedding preparations with an iron fist; everyone is cowering. The fam comes down to breakfast in identical blue robes and starts sniping at each other, taking drugs, and criticizing the Teen for getting dumped by his girlfriend. Pencil-dick?

More after the break, including frontal nudity

Adrian Zmed After Dark

On an episode of The Simpsons, the family goes to a review featuring the once-famous:
     We are the stars that you thought were dead,
     Like Bonnie Franklin and Adrian Zmed.

People who weren't watching television or going to moves during the early 1980s probably thought "I didn't think Adrian Zmed was dead, I never heard of him."  But during that brief few years, the sultry black-haired Romanian-American actor -- and his amazingly ripped physique -- was everywhere.

He sang and danced as a John Travolta clone in Grease 2 (1982), also starring Maxwell Caulfield.

He partied with Tom Hanks in Bachelor Party (1984).

He bonded with William Shatner in the police drama T.J. Hooker (1982-85).

He hosted Dance Fever

He guest starred on Bosom Buddies, Love Boat, Hotel, Glitter, and Empty Nest.

He appeared in Battle of the Network Stars (a reality series that was really an excuse to get male tv stars into speedos).  He didn't win any awards, but he got to hug Scott Baio.

His full-body speedo shots were more than enough to draw the attention of gay fans, but his characters always had a blatant interest in same-sex chums, regardless of whether they got the girl in the end.

In Grease 2, for instance, the plot revolves around an "opposites attract" between greaser Johnny (Zmed) and uptight British newcomer Michael (Maxwell Caulfield).

And, unlike most beefcake stars of the 1980s, he was aware of his gay fans, and actually played to them.  He remains a strong gay ally, like his "bosom buddy" Tom Hanks.

By the late 1980s, the Adrian Zmed train had stalled, perhaps overloaded by overexposure.  Though he has never stopped acting, the era of speedo shots is long gone.