"Fairfax": Woke Teens Strive to Become Influencers on Fairfax Avenue

 

The animated series Fairfax, on Amazon Prime, caught my attention because Fairfax Boulevard is traditionally the eastern edge of West Hollywood.  According to the trailer, it's about four 13-year olds, one of whom is so woke that she protests the milking of almonds. No doubt one of them is gay.

Scene 1: A futuristic totalitarian factory making t-shirts for the Latrine Company. The caped supervillain boss decides that the next Latrine t-shirt will feature Dr. Phil, the conservative talk show host, and suddenly everyone on Earth gets the ads on their screens.  Did I accidentally click on the wrong series?

No, we switch to Benny (Peter S. Kim), a chubby boy with traditional Korean parents, seeing the ads, getting all excited, and calling his friends to a special meeting.  

Meanwhile the woke Derica is protesting "milking almonds" at a supermarket.  She gets the word and kayaks down the Los Angeles river to the meeting.  (Ok, this is not my West Hollywood).

Teen dream Truman (Jaboukie Young-White) is photographing a middle-aged lady for her Tinder profile when he gets the word.  She flirts with him, but he reminds her that he's only 13.

Scene 2: The line outside the Latrine Store extends for blocks, all the way to the Fairfax Sign (this is not our West Hollywood).  A chubby man who got his t-shirt early taunts them.  A pigeon is congratulated by his friend for getting his t-shirt. 

Meanwhile timid Dale (Skyler Gisondo) is cowering in the back seat while his parents drive him onto Fairfax Avenue.  They've moved to West Hollywood to take over his uncle's vape store.  He worries that he won't fit in among the cool kids, but his parents point out that he is cool: he was president of the hiking club.

Scene 3:  While his parents unpack, Dale wanders past the Latrine Store, and is amazed: it has a skating ramp, multicolored shoes, and fluorescent mannikins.  The old guy from Scene 2 offers him $50 for his hat, and they go into the alley to make the deal.  Is he actually suggesting sex? 

Whew, he really just wants the hat.  The other three kids come to the rescue by pointing out that those hats go for $200.  

Scene 4: The others are shocked that Dale is not making an ironic statement: he actually is Middle American normalcore.  They take him to Schwimmer's Deli (Canter's?), where everything is second-rate and over-priced, to explain the grooviness of Latrine: the more absurdly overpriced Latrine products you display, the more "likes" you get on social media, and you're on your way to becoming an Influencer, and then all your dreams come true: 

Benny: Push Dad out of an airplane

Truman: Direct a movie starring two hot babes.

Derica: Save the ecosystem.

But how can they get one of the t-shirts?  They're sold out!  Dale comes to the rescue: he saw the manager of Latrine hiding a t-shirt in the back room.  

Scene 5: They sneak into a facility where artists are painting a man green and sculpting fish, to meet with the Plug, aka Joaquin Phoenix, but actually voiced by Jeff Bottoms (in West Hollywood you run into celebrities all the time).  He's busy lighting himself on fire, and doesn't have time to help them locate a t-shirt.

Scene 6: They kidnap the dog of Lucas, the store manager, to force him to hand over the spare t-shirt, but he recognizes them.  They try to send a drone in, but it's detected and exploded.  

Scene 7: Dale bursts into the vape shop, exuberant over his new friends: 

 Bennie: "Like the Wizard of Oz"

Derica: "I'm not sure if she identifies as a girl, but she could legit be president someday"

Truman: Has actually had sex with a girl.  

He just needs to figure out how to get the t-shirt, so they will like him.

That night, Dale has a vision of Dr. Phil, the guy on the t-shirt, who advises him to "think outside the box."

More after the break

Eight hot/hung Amazonian Indians with pecs, abs, bulges, and the highest penis string in the tribe

  

I posted some bonus Amazonian guys in another article, but I had a lot more, so here are eight hot/hung Indios from various parts of the Amazon basin.

Link to the vergas enormes

A muscleman with a bulge -- the one on the left.

There are 2.7 million indigenous people in the Amazon region, divided into 350 ethnic groups.  Most live in indigenous territories or reservations. 

A penis sculpture, La Paz, Bolivia

Thirty million people live in the Amazon, mostly in big cities like Manaus, Brazil and Iquitos, Peru.

Showing off his penis string. The Huaorani of Ecuador, previously called the Auca, tie their foreskins to a string around their waist to protect it and demonstrate their virility. "Look, guys, I'm so big I have to tie my string around my nipples."

More Indios after the break.  

10 Things You Should Know About "The Tick"

1. The spoof superhero first appeared in 1986 as the mascot of the New England Comic Book Stores.

2. His costume looks like this.  The muscles are latex, but the bulge isn't.

3. He has appeared in three tv series, animated (voiced by Townsend Coleman), live in 2001 (starring Patrick Warburton), and most recently in 2016 (with Peter Serafinowicz).

4. Peter Serafinowicz is a British actor known for Shaun of the Dead and Guardians of the Galaxy.

5. The Tick has a sidekick, Arthur, who actually wants nothing to do with him and keeps trying to get out of sidekicking.

6. Their interactions sometimes involve homophobic "real men must never touch!", and sometimes glimmers of homoerotic affection.

7. Arthur was voiced by Micky Dolenz and Rob Paulsen in the animated series, and he has been played by David Burke and most recently Griffin Newman.

8.  This is Arthur in costume.  His bulge must enter a room three seconds before the rest of him.

9. The Tick also features a full roster of beefcake actors playing superheroes and villains, such as Brendan Hines as Superion.

10. And Scott Spieser as Overkill.