James MacArthur's Fade Out Kiss

James MacArthur  had already made a cinematic splash in The Young Stranger (1957), in which his character overtly falls in love with a buddy, when Disney hired him as an Adventure Boy, one of the stable of young, muscular, attractive teens who would represent "the epitome of young masculinity" (others included Tommy Kirk, Kurt Russell, Tim Considine, Kevin Corcoran, and Jeff East), MacArthur played Disney Adventure Boys four times: in The Light in the Forest (1958), Third Man on the Mountain (1959), Kidnapped (1960), and Swiss Family Robinson (1960). Unfortunately, the Disney version always required him to kiss a girl, regardless of how alien girl-craziness was to the original story.

In Conrad Richter’s original novel Light in the Forest (1953), the white boy raised by Indians bonds with boys and rejects girls.  In the Disney version, there is only a subtle homoerotic subtext between True Son  (MacArthur) and his mentor Del Hardy (Fess Parker).  But the beefcake was stunning: True Son is shirtless almost every scene, his chest and shoulders embossed with a Technicolor glow. When he is tied to a stake, his face, painted black and white, melts into a stoic mask, but his bare chest remains bright.

All Disney Adventure moves must have a fade-out kiss, so scriptwriter Lawrence Edward Watkin dug through the novel to find a servant girl, mentioned fleetingly, and transformed her into the “love interest” Shenandoe (Carol Lynley). She teaches True Son how to dance, hold hands, and kiss.

He makes mistakes, at first: at a party, he finds a ring hidden in a piece of cake. He is supposed to present it to the one he loves best, so he gives it to Del Hardy. Del corrects him, “You don’t give it to a man. You give it to the girl you love the best.” True Son has learned that modern American adolescents must express heterosexual desire.

The movie concludes with True Son and Shenandoe kissing, as the music swells. The Light in the Forest, the meaning of life, has paradoxically switched from “the wild beloved freedom of the Indian” in the Richter novel into heterosexual love.

Swiss Family Robinson (1960) also combines beefcake and the fade-out kiss.  Both national treasure James MacArthur and nineteen-year-old Tommy Kirk are bare-chested and bronzed in nearly every scene.

But early on, Father and Mother Robinson worry that, if the family is stranded in their desert island Paradise forever, their sons will grow up without girls to ogle. Dad asks, “Don’t you sometimes feel this is the life we were meant to live?” Mom responds, “It’s wonderful now, but what about tomorrow? What about our sons? What future is there for them? They’d never know what it is like to be married. . .what it’s like to have a family”

The dearth of females precipitates the decision of Fritz (MacArthur) and Ernst (Kirk) to explore the other side of the island, where they become not chums but competitors: they encounter a puzzlingly sissy “boy,” Bertie, who turns out to be a girl, Roberta (Janet Munro).

There is a girl in the original novel, an “English cousin” that no one bothers to fall in love with, but in the Disney version Fritz and Ernst spend the rest of the movie posturing, flirting, and fist-fighting over her. Roberta is always talking about how she misses London, with its color and excitement, but at the end of the movie she refuses rescue, deciding to stay with Fritz and found a colony.

“Two people,” Roberta says, “if they have each other, what more could they want?” Fritz replies, “I guess. . .to be alone.” Then they kiss as Ernst grimaces.

Ernst goes off to Europe to be educated: Fritz, Bertie, and their heterosexual desire are necessary to bring American-style civilization to the tropics, and boy-pals are merely a hindrance.

After retiring from Disney, MacArthur became well-known as an adult actor, especially as Dano on the long-running tv series Hawaii Five-O.  But he rarely had any shirtless shots or homoerotic buddy-bonding.  When asked if he would be interested in doing a big-screen version of Hawai Five-O, he said "Not as Dano.  Maybe an old man ogling the girls on the beach."  So he wants to be cast as a perv?

He died in 2010.

"Dive!!": Japanese Anime Featuring Bulges, Biceps, and Longing Gazes

 Most Japanese anime series devote about 70% of the run time to close-ups of women's breasts, but Dive!! (with two exclamation points) is somewhat different: instead of boobs, we see biceps, bulges, pecs, and abs filling the screen.  Most of the characters are in high school, but we'll assume that they are of legal age, so it's ok to look, and the camera certainly expects us to.   I reviewed the first episode. 

Scene 1:  A little boy, Tomoki, follows his dog to a swimming pool, and is mesmerized by the diving boards, and by a boy getting ready to dive (long full-body shot).  A Damascus Road moment -- he's just discovered the meaning of life!  Diving or cute boys?  Another lingering full body shot as the boy notices Tomoki's interest, approaches, and asks, "Want to jump?"  Did you say "jump" or "kiss"?

Tomoki narrates: "Since that day I have been addicted to the fear and excitement of this world of wind and water." And cute boys.

Scene 2:  A huge auditorium.  The teenage Tomoki gazes in ecstasy as Yoichi, the boy at the pool that day bulked and bulged up,  approaches the board and executes a dive. He wins first place, and gets a full body shot (I'm going to stop pointing these out.  They happen constantly.)  "You were awesome!" Tomoki exclaims.  Yoichi counters: "You can soar, too!"  They gaze into each other's eyes.

Scene 3: At school, Tomoki's classmates criticize him for his diving obsession. "But you see so many bulges!"  (Just kidding.)  A hot girl approaches.  Now they understand why he dives: to get girls.  When I was in school, everyone assumed that the only reason a boy did anything, from joining a club to choosing a college, was to meet or impress girls.

Scene 4: Tomoki and the Girl walking.  While she blathers on about pancake toppings, he reflects: people always ask if diving is scary.  But it's not: the real problem is the pain.  I've jumped off the high dive. There's a little sting as you hit the water.  Maybe when you dive, you're going faster, so it hurts more.

They reach the pool.  The Girl want to watch him dive, but "You can't.  No spectators.  Um...look, there's Yoichi! Bye!"  He abandons her for the cute boy.  

Scene 5: Yoichi displaying his bulge...um, I mean stretching.  The obviously smitten Tomoki approaches to watch him dive. 

 Coach: "Growl, growl, your shoulders were off."

Now it's Tomoki's turn.  He hesitates; the other divers tell him to hurry up.  Hey, one of them flashed a limp wrist!  Does that mean the same thing in Japan as it does in America?  He does a backwards double-somersault.  

Coach: "Growl, growl, your toes were off."

Scene 6: The divers in the hot tub, complaining about the coach: he expect us to become Olympic athletes.  This is supposed to be fun. They also criticize Tomoki for hesitating on the board: it throws all of the divers off.  

Scene 7: As we look at various diver bulges, the narrator plot dumps: Mizuki Diving Club was founded six years ago by Chairman Mizuki, head of the biggest sports company in Japan, to promote Japanese divers.  If they don't start producing results -- Olympic-ready athletes -- they will be closed.  So far Yoichi is their only hope: both of his parents were famous divers, so he grew up on the boards. The camera lingers on his body.

Scene 8: Flashback to Tomoki's first day of diving instruction.  As the kids practice on the low dive, he gazes awestricken up at Yoichi on the high dive.  "He is so cool!"

Scene 9: It's raining, but the young Tomoki goes to the pool anyway: "I thought there would still be practice.  I want to learn to go on the high dive like everyone else."  Yoichi encourages him to try.  He bounces and splats on the water: 

Yoichi: "Next time keep your eyes open."  Whoops, he goes in too slowly, and splats again. A third try, and he makes it!  Yoichi helps him out of the pool, grinning.

Tomoki narrates: "That was the only time Yoichi taught me something."

Scene 10: The team is gossipping about "A scandal!  Adultery!"  One of the boys saw Coach Fujitani talking to a young woman; obviously his girlfriend! And then he bailed on practice.  "No way!  Coach would never abandon us like that! She's obviously from corporate, here to shut us down."

Meanwhile, Yoichi accuses Tomoki of having a girlfriend.  "It's not like that!" he exclaims, but Yoichi is already walking away.  Tomoki watches him sadly. "Oh, no, this is the worst!" he thinks. Why is he upset that Yoichi thinks he's dating a girl?  Because now Yoichi will never ask him out? 

Scene 11:  A forlorn Tomoki goes home.  Younger brother Hiro:  "The Girl is upset because you didn't return her texts."  Tell her to get lost!  "Leave me alone!  I'm having boyfriend problems!"  

Scene 12: Tomoki walking his dog, being forlorn: "The Girl said that she was in love with me, and wanted to be my girlfriend, and I agreed!  Why did I do it?  Maybe I wanted to brag to my friends, or keep from hurting her feelings?  Or maybe I was scared of what rejecting a girl might mean."  The Girl keeps texting him, and he keeps ignoring her.

Scene 13: After school.  Tomoki says goodbye to his classmates, sees the Girl, and...runs to the pool.  Suddenly one of his teammates points out that the young woman from corporate is here to shut them down!

The bulges line up for her announcement: she's the new coach, determined to take them to the Tokyo Olympics.  The end.

Beefcake: Lots of physiques, bulges everywhere. In later episodes, we get butt shots, too.  Of course they have to dress in swimsuits to dive, but the camera loves lingering,   

Is Tomoki Gay:  It looks canonical, but to be sure, I fast-forwarded through some other episodes.

In Episode 3, Tomoki and the Girl go on a picnic.  He sees other couples kissing, and asks: "Do you ever feel like you're trapped?  Penned in a small space, and you'll be stuck there for the rest of your life?"  Sure, that was my childhood and adolescence, trapped by the "all boys like girls" mythos.

In Episode 6, the Girl has dumped Tomoki for his brother.  He is angry and betrayed, but brother points out that he doesn't know her birthday, her favorite color, or anything else about her.  "And have you ever kissed?"

But there is no same-sex kiss, either, just some longing looks and touched hands.  If he is canonically gay, it is all in conversations.

The original novel by Eto Mori (2000-2002) is dubbed "homoerotic" by wikipedia, but no further details are given.  The 2008 movie adaption, as described on Asianwiki, seems to concentrate on the "beautiful coach" and reduce the homoerotic to subtext. 

"Bad Witch": The Most Overt Gay Subtext of the Decade

 

The icon for Bad Witch, on Amazon Prime, shows two guys talking at a rural cabin, and the blurb says something about a male witch who gets in trouble, flees to the countryside, and meets "a young loner."  Sounds like a gay romance, but I'm not sure, so I'm going through on fast forward.

Minute 3: A hunky guy roughed up and tied up in someone's basement.  His assailant drips red wax on him while chanting in Latin; he screams.   Cut to a little girl asleep with a teddy bear, and in another room, the hunky guy wakes up next to a woman.  Beefcake shot of his chest.  This must be the Witch's heterosexual nuclear family before he flees to the countryside and gets a boyfriend.

Minute 4:  An outdoor barbecue.  Two male-female couples sitting down; a male-male couple standing by the grill.  The Amazon Prime x-ray identifies them as Tim (Matthew Sharpe) and Xander (Chris Koslowski, top photo), but neither of the photos look like them, so I'll just call them Young Hunk and Leather Guy.  They criticize the host, Trish, for wearing high heels to a barbecue.  Criticizing a woman's fashion sense?  Obvious signal that he's gay.

Young Hunk  is outraged when a third guy comes in.  "Why did she invite him?"  Must be his ex-boyfriend, after a bad breakup.  Leather Guy advises him to be cool, but he corners the new guy in the kitchen.  New Guy criticizes his hair and outfit.  Criticizing a man's fashion sense?  Obvious signal that he's gay.  They argue.  Trish comes in and breaks them up.  

Minute 8: Young Hunk awakens in his bed in the middle of the night, goes into the living room, and is ambushed by several men, who beat him up and burn the word "witch" onto his chest.  Wait -- I thought it was the Nuclear Family Guy from Scene 1 who had to flee.

Minute 10:  Young Hunk talking to middle-aged Henry (James Hennigan), who says "Serves you right for never wanting to teach me."  So Young Hunk is the Bad Witch, and Henry is his apprentice?

Minute 19: A dumpster outside a bar.  Young Hunk, now the middle-aged Xander,  flirts with Roland (Jackson Trent, left).  This must be after he runs away to the countryside.  He was wearing young-hunk makeup in the earlier scenes, to indicate time passage.

Minute 20: Another young hunk, Conrad (Jonathan Helwig), comes into the kitchen, where his father or boyfriend is cooking some slop.  "That looks disgusting," he jokes.  "Then you do the cooking."  Sounds more like boyfriend talk than father-son talk.   "Coach thinks I have a good chance of making the scouts next year."  Father-son talk.  Is this a new movie?  What happened to the guys from Minutes 4-10?

Minute 28: A diner.  Conrad from Minute 20 is talking about girls, while his gay bff Hans (Abe Kim, below), a fey Asian guy with bleached hair, rolls his eyes. Roland, the guy who flirted with Xander earlier, works there.  He walks past with a tray of drinks.  Bully Conrad trips him.  The bullies both laugh.  A femme gay bully?  

Xander helps him up, sits with Bully Conrad and bff Hans, and reveals embarrassing details about Bully Conrad that he couldn't have known, like he had syphillis.  Hans criticizes him for stigmatizing STIs.  

Minute 30: Xander drops Bullied Roland off at his house and says "I will see you tomorrow."  Their first date?

It involves playing video games, hugging, and...talking about the Girl of Roland's Dreams?  Hey, that's not what gay guys talk about!

Minute 33: Xander teaching Roland about magic.

Minute 35: They are hanging out in the woods.  Xander: "Casting a spell is better than sex.  That's why my roommate can't find out about this."  This, the magic, or this, the relationship?  So Xander is cheating on his partner with Roland?

Lots of scene of Xander helping Roland get a university admission, get revenge on bullies, fly on a broom, wear a cardboard witch's hat, and...go on a date with Veronica?  So it's a gay subtext, not a text.

Minute 52:  Bleached-Hair Hans, the fey bully, has stolen Xander and Roland's magic book.  If he gives it back, they won't tell his bff Conrad that he secretly hates him because girls like him more.  Hey, I thought Bleached-Hair Hans was gay.

Minute 64:  Things have gone terribly wrong.  Roland breaks up with Xander: "You don't care about me.  You don't care about anybody but yourself." 

Minute 70: Xander tied up, shirtless, being tormented.  This must be a recap of Scene 1.

Minute 72: Roland talking to Veronica. Girlfriend or gal pal? There has been no scene of them kissing.  They decide to rescue Xander.

Minute 73: Xander tied shirtless to a stake, as his enemies prepare to burn him to death.  Veronica and Roland rush in, clobber them, and untie Xander.  He hugs Veronica, and goes in for a hug with Roland, but at that moment Roland spurts blood and dies -- one of the enemies killed him!  Xander cries over the body.  The guy was definitely his boyfriend.

Minute 75:  Veronica asks a shirtless Xander if he can use his witchcraft powers to resurrect Roland.  "It would be a big mistake."  He might come back -- different.   

Minute 76: Veronica performs the resurrection ritual anyway. Roland returns from the dead --- different.  The end.

Results:  I have not seen such a blatant gay subtext in years. But in 2022, why not go all the way?  A few minor line changes. and a scene of Roland and Xander kissing, and voila! The Bad Witch is a gay romance.

"Hamster and Gretel": Superhero Kid and Hamster, Beset-Upon Older Brother

 

I'm going to watch Hamster and Gretel on Disney Plus because it stars Michael Cimino, who 1) played a gay character on Love, Victor and 2) has a jaw-dropping physique.

Let's have another look at that physique.  

The premise: 9-year old Gretel and her pet Hamster have superpowers and fight kid-friendly villains, to the consternation of her teenage brother, Kevin (Michael Cimino!).  I'll be reviewing the episode "Saturday Homecoming Fever," where the two go to a dance, in case there are any background/supporting gay characters.

Scene 1: Kevin at school, complaining to his bff Fred (a girl) that everyone calls him "Minivan Kid."  They head to lunch, where Lunch Lady criticizes Kevin for being weak.  

Principal announces that votes for the Homecoming King are in: it's Hunter Campbell, a hot guy who is sitting with a male and a female friend.  Fred has been voted Homecoming Queen; she chafes against the gender-stereotyping, beats up the principal, and abdicates.  Hunter Campbell also abdicates, since he is in love with a non-popular girl.  So they'll choose a new prom king and queen at the Disco-Themed dance tonight.

Kevin thinks that tonight will be his opportunity to re-brand himself and stop being called "Minivan Boy."   "Nothing can go wrong!"

Scene 2: Brother and sister supervillains escape from prison and check local events for something to ruin.  How about a high school dance?  

Scene 3: Fred, Gretel (the superpower girl), and the Hamster playing video games, when Kevin enters in his disco costume.  He's been practicing disco dancing all day. "Nobody will call me Minivan Boy after tonight!"

 "I can't wait to become a teenager!" Gretel exclaims.  "That's not happening -- we're a cartoon," the Hamster tells her.

Scene 4: Kevin enters the gym, fields greetings of "Hi, Minivan Boy," and asks the Girl of His Dreams to dance. Only two other couples on the dance floor: boy-girl and girl-girl.  

Uh-oh, a slow dance!  He rushes to get some punch to bolster his courage.  

Meanwhile, Fred, Gretel, and Hamster get an emergency alert on their cell phones: two 1970s costumes have been stolen from the Boogie Bargain Bin!  Obviously supervillains are plotting to destroy the dance.  They decide to go undercover to save Kevin's big night.

Scene 5: The supervillain brother and sister enter the gym in 1970s costumes, then take them off to reveal their supervillain outfits.  They disrupt the dance with a food fight.  Now there is a boy-girl couple in the foreground and a boy-boy couple in the background, dressed like Shaft and Austin Powers, but you have to freeze-frame to see them.

Kevin and his date try to save the day by challenging the supervillains to a dance battle.  They do Saturday Night Live moves. the Hustle, and Disco Inferno.  Meanwhile, Fred, Gretel, and Hamster enter in 1970s disguises. The Shaft-Austin Powers couple are visible to the left.

The supervillains lose the battle, but refuse to leave the dance; they begin tearing down streamers and crash the sound system.  While Fred helps with the evacuation, Gretel (in a disco ball) and Hamster subdue them.

Scene 6: The students waiting outside the school.  The principal announces that since the sound system was destroyed in the fight, the dance is over.  Kevin pulls up in his minivan, now equipped with a disco ball and music.  Some aliens in a flying saucer provide the flashing lights, so the dance can continue in the parking lot!  Now it looks like all boy-girl couples. 

The principal names Prom King and Queen -- not Kevin and his date!  The end.

Beefcake: None.

Heterosexism: The Kevin-centric episodes are mostly about trying to impress/ talk to/ win The Girl of His Dreams.  Yawn.

Gay Characters:  Maybe Fred.  A surprising foregrounding of a girl-girl couple at the dance.

Multiculturalism: Interviews emphasize that Kevin and Gretel come from a blended family, with Mom from Venezuela.  No evidence in this particular episode.

Hamster and Gretel: No connection to the fairy tale. The uber-Germanic "Gretel" is an odd name for someone with American-Venezuelan parents.  Did they come up with the title first, and then look for a story to fit?

My Grade: Meh.  I'd rather look at Michael Cimino in a towel.