Working-class schlub Wu Liuqui, aka Seven (voiced by He Xiaofeng), is tired of his job selling beef offal in a sidewalk kiosk, so his cigar-chomping Angy Bird sidekick DaiBo suggests that he become a professional assassin -- good hours, great benefits, and great pay. They might even make enough money to go to Stan, a technology-heavy country with a cure for Seven's amnesia.
Seven points out that his only magical weapon is a pair of scissors, so DaiBo invents two other weapons to help:
1. A GaiBa egg, which, when broken, will give you the appearance of any person or animal (but not their attributes). Seven uses it to turn into a female Angry Bird -- in order to seduce him? -- but Sidekick isn't into it: "So vulgar."
So Seven has an unrequited crush on DaiBo?
2. Xiao Fei, an "escape bird" who flies him to safety by carrying him by his testicles!
Since Seven's main weapon is a pair of scissors, he opens a hair salon as a cover.
A guy with a feminine-coded job, testicles, and a crush on his male friend. I'm in!
Suddenly Seven is attacked by a cute robot assassin, who thinks he is a member of the Killer Guild and therefore a threat to Stan. "But I just started my training!" Seven argues. No way could he belong to that super-elite, top-secret society. Wait...he has amnesia, remember?
A mysterious long-haired girl-warrior rushes to the rescue, dispatches the robot, and vanishes.
Ruh-roh. Is Seven gay (or accidentally gay), or has he just encountered The Girl?
I cautiously watch a few episodes to find out.
His first job: the leader of the cat army hires him to "stab the eyes" of her ex-boyfriend, the leader of the dog army, who dumped her. The dog says that he's still in love with her, but dog-cat relationships can't produce children. Seven argues that love is love, and arranges a reconciliation.
Sorry, I was wrong. It gets more blatant.
Next, the Island Purity Society hires Seven to kill a man who collects and wears ladies' lingerie. But he's buying it, not stealing it, so what's the problem? Lots of people have kinky fetishes; the old biddies should mind their own business. He rescues the guy instead of killing him, and in the end, decides to try some on some ladies' lingerie, too.
Promoting tolerance of sexual diversity, with some cross-dressing interests of his own? Seven is definitely gay.
He's "part-time bodyguard" DaChun, who disapproves of assassins because they kill people rather than protecting them. (To be fair, Seven hasn't killed anyone yet. He's more of a negotiator).
They have a homoerotic battle, which culminates in the "Solid as Gold Lock," "as strong as true love": DaChun stays attached to Seven's backside through showering after their workut, dinner, watching the sunset together, and sleeping. They're shown spooning in bed; you can't tell me this wasn't a thinly-disguised date, complete with sex. In the end DaChun sacrifices himself to save Seven from a guided missile. Strong as true love, indeed.
But I'm still worried about The Girl, especially when this photo popped up in an image search. Is it fan art, or does Seven finally succumb to the lure of the Eternal Feminine?
So I skip to the end. Actually, Episode #11.
After a climactic battle, Seven is chosen to go to the mysterious paradise of Stan. All of the people he's helped come to the hair salon to say goodbye. The Girl is not present. He flies off into the sunset, while the narrator assures us that "Seven's story is just beginning."
Episodes #12-14 are flashbacks to DaiBo's past.
Translation: Seven is gay.
And that's how you fly in under the radar.
ReplyDeleteChina is often blamed for the dearth of gay characters in (Star Wars, the MCU, any international Disney property), and blaming international markets is fair.