Airport Chaplain: Rebel cop...er, chaplain, job squabbles, personal angst, and eight gay guys, some with d*cks (Max has two)

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Link to the n*de dudes

When Airport Chaplain (2026) popped up on my Netflix recommendations, I was curious: I didn't even know that airport chaplain was a job.  Who needs pastoral counseling when they're awaiting their flight to San Diego?  So we'll check out the first episode.

 

We open with establishing shots of an an airport.  A hoodied person runs fast past Security Guard Ziv, who yells "Oi!  Stop, mate!"  I'm guessing this is England.  (Update: It's actually Australia) 

Gay Guy #1: Elias Anton (Ziv), backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends, starred with Thom Green (below) in the queer romance Of an Age (2022). 

Cute guy in the security station is monitoring the sitch. As the Chaplain gives money to a homeless person, he is notified of the runner and heads toward the International Terminal. 

He grabs the runner -- it's just a kid -- and calls off security.  The kid talks to him in Spanish -- which doesn't appear on the subtitles, darn it -- so the Chaplain runs off  to the the cleaner's trolley outside the Prayer Room, grabs a plush toy, and rushes back past Border Control without getting it scanned.  Border Control Johnny is hesitant, but Chaplain says it's an emergency.    

Gay Guy #2: Thomas Weatherall (Johnny), top photo, played a gay high schooler on Heartbreak High.

Gay Guy #3: Hugo Weaving (the Chaplain) is best known as the drag queen Tick in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) and Elrond in the Lord of the Rings movies.

The Chaplain gets the kid to his Buenos Aires flight (the toy actually belongs to his baby sister).   Problem solved.  So that's what airport chaplains do.  I figured they would, you know, pray with people.

I checked online: most large airports, even in the U.S., have full-time or volunteer chaplains. The fliers and their loved ones aren't just grumbling over the long lines and cancelled flights; they are often going through emotional crises, and need someone to talk to -- or pray with.  

Cut to the Chaplain in his office, with a real snake, stuffed birds, and drawings from kids saying thank you for retrieving their teddy bears. He's handling the case of Nino, who needs his flight re-booked because he wasn't allowed on the plane with his pet dog.  Maybe the Chaplain or his wife can look after him while he's away?  (Heterosexual identity established at Minute 5).

The terminal manager comes in to complain that he was canned for poor reviews.  He's old, but he doesn't want to stay home, with a wife who's always either "hot or angry." (Heterosexual identity established immediately.)

"By the way, the new Terminal Manager won't approve of rebel cops...um, I mean chaplains...who have unconventional methods and ignore the rule book."

Next, the Chaplain is called to the case of Alex Zhang, an Australian citizen returning from Shanghai.  His father died on the the flight, so the passengers are understandably upset.  The Chaplain calls Border Control Johnny to ensure that he gets through customs quickly, and Head Baggage Handler Lex to ensure that the body is taken to the holding area..  

Gay Guy #4:  Queer actor Erroll Shand (Lex) played a closeted lawyer in Outrageous Fortunes, and a gay prince in Our Flag Means Death and 

The Chaplain goes down to the holding area to comfort Alex, who is on an "I'm very important!" business call.  Not grieving much, are you , buddy?

He explains the procedure: get an ok from the coroner, then transport the body to a funeral home.  Alex hadn't thought of that.  Not on your ten-hour flight from Shanghai to Melbourne?

"So...um...were you and your father close?"

"Not really.  Pardon -- work call."

"Would you like me to...um...pray for him?"  

"We're Buddhist."  Chaplain takes that as an invitation, and says a Buddhist prayer over the coffin.

Back to the office, where Border Security Johnny is hanging out with -- and flirting with -- Nino the Dog Guy.

Gay Guy #5: Queer actor Nicholas Denton (Nino) played gay or gay-vague characters in Dangerous Liaisons and the vampire drama Talamasca. 

Chaplain has a solution to the dog problem: Crate him and transport him in the hold.  It will cost an extra $2,400 ($1,700 U.S.).

"Nope, can't afford it.  Besides, it would be cruel to crate him for such a long flight.

More gay guys after the break

Sam Li: Frank's victim in "Always Sunny," a lawyer, two students, a gangster's brother, tells his mom "It's not a phase." With some Chinese cocks

  

Link to the n*de dudes

In It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Episode 18.1, Dennis, Dee, and Mac sit in on a psychology class at the University of Pennsylvania, to prove that they could have succeeded.  Meanwhile, Frank grabs a random student named Jie to fulfill his Back to School fantasy: take a dump in the dean's office (they're interrupted), pick up girls at a frat party (they're not impressed by the dance moves Frank teaches Jie), and jump off the high dive at the pool. Wearing a shirt, but a glimpse of his beneath-the-belt gifts in his swimsuit.

In Back to School (1986), crass comedian Rodney Dangerfield enrolls at his son Jason's college, and encourages him to do those things, including show a monumental bulge in his swim suit.  Jason (Keith Gordon, right) completes the high dive, but Jie does not.

The actor playing Jie is not in the cast list on the IMDB, and Google Ai doesn't know who he is, but Bloody Disgusting says that he is Sam Song Li.  Verified when the guy includes a Sunny clip on his Instagram.

Sam was born in 1996 in Shenzen, Guangdong Province, just north of Hong Kong, and raised in Southern California. He graduated with a degree in Performing Arts from UC Berkeley, and began on-screen acting in 2015.  He doesn't seem to have any major acting roles, so I'll just go by what he lists as "famous for":

A 2022 episode of Better Call Saul, with Bob Odenkirk as the sleazy attorney from Breaking Bad.  He plays Cary, a lawyer who joins Hamlin, Hamlin, and McGill after Chuck McGill's death.  His part in the episode seems to involve dropping cans of soda, and being taught how to avoid them exploding due to the carbon dioxide pressure.

A 2022 episode of Home Economics, about three siblings, rich straight male (Jimmy Tatro, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), an entrepreneur; middle-class straight male (Topher Grace), a writer; and poor lesbian (Caitlyn McGee), a teacher.  In Sam's episode, the writer struggles to finish his book before his 40th birthday, while his siblings agonize over what gift to buy him.  Sam plays one of the students in his writing class.

A 2023 episode of Never Have I Ever, with an Indian-American girl negotiating crushes and her heritage. In "Never Have I Ever Been to Jersey," Devi takes a school field trip to New York, and meets Columbia University student Anton (Sam).  The plot synopsis doesn't mention if they do romantic stuff.

8 episodes of The Brothers Sun (2024).  Taiwanese gangster Charles Sun (Justin Chien) goes to Los Angeles to protect his mother and younger brother Bruce (Sam). It's classified as a comedy, but there's drug-dealing, kidnapping, and murder.  No girlfriendsd are mentioned in the plot synopsis.

More after the break.  

"Scissor Seven" As Gay as Chinese Anime Can Get

The Chinese anime Scissor Seven, originally entitled Killer Seven. premiered at the Anecy International Animated Film Festival in Anecy, France in 2018, and is now streaming on Netflix.  They changed the name to avoid confusion with a video game.

Working-class schlub Wu Liuqui, aka Seven (voiced by He Xiaofeng), is tired of his job selling beef offal in a sidewalk kiosk, so his cigar-chomping Angy Bird sidekick DaiBo suggests that he become a professional assassin  -- good hours, great benefits, and great pay. They might even make  enough money to go to Stan, a technology-heavy country with a cure for Seven's amnesia. 

Seven points out that his only magical weapon is a pair of scissors, so DaiBo invents two other weapons to help:

1. A GaiBa egg, which, when broken, will give you the appearance of any person or animal (but not their attributes).  Seven uses it to turn into a female Angry Bird -- in order to seduce him? -- but Sidekick isn't into it: "So vulgar."

So Seven has an unrequited crush on DaiBo?

2. Xiao Fei, an "escape bird" who flies him to safety by carrying him by his testicles!

Since Seven's main weapon is a pair of scissors, he opens a hair salon as a cover.

A guy with a feminine-coded job, testicles, and a crush on his male friend.  I'm in!

Suddenly Seven is attacked by a cute robot assassin, who thinks he is a member of the Killer Guild and therefore a  threat to Stan.  "But I just started my training!" Seven argues.  No way could he belong to that super-elite, top-secret society.  Wait...he has amnesia, remember?

A mysterious long-haired girl-warrior rushes to the rescue, dispatches the robot, and vanishes.

Ruh-roh.  Is Seven gay (or accidentally gay), or has he just encountered The Girl?

I cautiously watch a few episodes to find out.

His first job: the leader of the cat army hires him to "stab the eyes" of her ex-boyfriend, the leader of the dog army, who dumped her.  The dog says that he's still in love with her, but dog-cat relationships can't produce children. Seven argues that love is love, and arranges a reconciliation.

Um...that's about as blatant as you can get in the People's Republic of China, which bans the depiction of "abnormal sexual relationships" on tv and in movies.

Sorry, I was wrong.  It gets more blatant.

Next, the Island Purity Society hires Seven to kill a man who collects and wears  ladies' lingerie.  But he's buying it, not stealing it, so what's the problem?  Lots of people have kinky fetishes; the old biddies should mind their own business.  He rescues the guy instead of killing him, and in the end,  decides to try some on some ladies' lingerie, too.

Promoting tolerance of sexual diversity, with some cross-dressing interests of his own?  Seven is definitely gay.

Next: while gathering intel,Seven is trying to look at girls' "coconuts" when a muscular square-headed guy gets in the way. Metaphor for same-sex interests taking precedence over heteronormativity?

He's "part-time bodyguard" DaChun, who disapproves of assassins because they kill people rather than protecting them.  (To be fair, Seven hasn't killed anyone yet.  He's more of a negotiator).

They have a homoerotic battle, which culminates in the "Solid as Gold Lock," "as strong as true love":  DaChun stays attached to Seven's backside through showering after their workut, dinner, watching the sunset together, and sleeping. They're shown spooning in bed; you can't tell me this wasn't a thinly-disguised date, complete with sex.   In the end DaChun sacrifices himself to save Seven from a guided missile.  Strong as true love, indeed.

What else is there to do? Seven is obviously gay, just closeted enough to fly under the noses of the censors.

But I'm still worried about The Girl, especially when this photo popped up in an image search.  Is it fan art, or does Seven finally succumb to the lure of the Eternal Feminine?

So I skip to the end. Actually, Episode #11.

After a climactic battle, Seven is chosen to go to the mysterious paradise of Stan.  All of the people he's helped come to the hair salon to say goodbye.  The Girl is not present.  He flies off into the sunset, while the narrator assures us that "Seven's story is just beginning."

Episodes #12-14 are flashbacks to DaiBo's past.

Interviewed by China Daily, artist/director He Weifeng stated  "I borrow Seven's points of view to express inclusiveness and love. Better understanding and love makes for harmony."

Translation: Seven is gay.

Dream of the Red Chamber: Gay Chinese Literature

When I was a kid in the 1960s, China didn't seem likely as a "good place."  There was a My Village in Japan, but no My Village in China.  Chinese art involved vast natural landscapes rather than the muscle gods of Greek myth, and all of the movie adaptations of the travels of Marco Polo gave the Italian explorer (Alfred Drake, Horst Buchholz, Desi Arnaz Jr.) a girlfriend.

Then came Bruce Lane and the kung fu craze, and the late 1970s was all awash with muscular Chinese  martial artists: Sonny Chiba, Sammo Hung, Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao (left).  Sometimes they got girls, but often they enjoyed homoromantic bonds with fellow martial arts students, kung fu masters, and "blood brothers."

So I took a course in East Asian Culture and Civilization, and found some hints and signals.

Chinese poetry minimizes heterosexual romance to concentrate on the manly love of comrades:

Drawing up the green silk coverlets,
placing our pillows side by side;
like spending more than a hundred nights,
to sleep together with you here (Bo Yuji)

In West Hollywood in the 1980s, I took a course in Chinese literature at USC.  The professor assigned The Dream of the Red Chamber, the 18th century masterpiece by Cao Xueqin, but  "forgot" to mention that the main characters are all bisexual.

When Pao-Yu, is an adolescent, he meets Chin Chung, handsome "but too shy and effeminate."  They become inseparable friend -- or more.  "Let's not talk about it now," Pao-Yu said.  "I'll settle with you later, after we go to bed."

The narrator continues: "It is not known what settlement Pao-Yu made with his friend that night nor how, and we will not venture any speculations."

See also: Confessions of a Mask