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Feb 22, 2024

"Splitting Adam": Jace Norman uses clones to win the Girl of His Dreams, With the stars All Grown Up.

 


While looking through Tony Cavalero's work on the IMDB, I noticed that he had a major role in Nickelodeon's Splitting Adam (2015) -- which make sense, as he was a Nickelodeon staple, starring as the zany music teacher Dewey in School of Rock.  The reviews say that Splitting Adam is awful. and it's not on any of my streaming services, so I'll have to pay for it.  But first the trailer, to check for heterosexism and gay subtexts.

Link to the NSFW version


Scene 1:
 Jace Norman of Henry Danger dances with a girl, wakes up, delivers newspapers,  gets yelled at by a gay-stereotype poof and his pocket dog, gets cheered on by a girl, and gets hit with a golf ball. The Narrator complains that he doesn't have enough time to do everything he needs to do. 

Scene 2: Crash and Splash Amusement Park.  A swimming pool Tootsie Roll, Jace getting yelled at Jack Griffo and his girlfriend, Jace and his buddy Amar M. Wooten in a dunking booth.  We see that hoary old chicke of the Girl of His Dreams walking in slow motion, waving her hair. 

Top photo: the grown up Jack Griffo.


Scene 3: 
Amar advises Jace that he doesn't have enough prestige to impress The Girl.  Shot of him holding a yellow barrel over his crotch in the swimming pool. Griffo agrees: "You can barely keep your shorts on."  Is that a sexual double entendre?

Left: recent photo of the grown-up Amar.


Scene 4: 
Uncle Magic Mitch, played by Tony Cavalero, arrives in his purple van and shows the guys his new -- tanning bed?  That night Jace sees it glowing, investigates, and accidentally falls in.  Zap! 

In the morning, there's a clone in the house, fully self-aware: "I'm here to help you."  He cooks breakfast. 

Scene 5: Magic Mitch, not to be confused with Magic Mike, is happy with the clone because he made chocolate chip pancakes.   Jace's two friends, Amar and Seth Isaac Johnson, hug each other in terror.  

Scene 6: In the tree house, Jace's friends, whose sole reason for existing is to facilitate getting him laid, devise a plot to use the clones.  They each have different personalities; the Gilr is bound to like one of them. Zap! Zap!   

Scene 7: Shot of Jace and two clones, in disguise, entering the amusement park.  Magic Mitch performs. Jack Griffo snarls: "To get to her, you have to go through me!"  

Scene 8: Jace's clones are: the Sensitive One; The Party Boy; Mr. Responsible; Mr. Perfect; and goofball Winston.  Montage of several meeting or hanging out with The Girl,  She complains: "Every time I see you, you seem like a different person."


Scene 9:
 Of course she prefers the original.  Boy-girl hug. Uncle Magic Mitch tells him: "That's where the magic happens."

Moral: Be yourself.

Beefcake: These are all little kids, but there may be some hunkoids in the swimming pool scene. 

Heterosexism: Of course. The whole plot arc is about winning the Girl of Your Dreams.  We even get tips on how to do it.

Gay Stereotypes: The guy with the pocket dog. Sensitive Jace, although he's obviously heterosexual.

Magic Mitch Questions: Does he know that the tanning bed is a clone machine?  Why is he the sort-of responsible adult -- where are Jace's parents?  Does he get a girlfriend?  The movie probably clarifies things.

Will I Watch: Heck, no.

The grown up Jace photos include some nudity, so I put them on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

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