**Link to the n*de photos**

Ben (Joe Mande) is introduced in Modern Family Episode 6.17 (2015) as the shy, beset-upon marketing manager at Pritchet's Closets and Blinds, where Jay's daughter Claire has just taken over as boss. He returns in four episodes of Season 7, mostly to be the butt of jokes. Lives with his mother? Owns a cat? What a loser!

Claire holds the "little suck up from marketing" in utter contempt, but keeps him around because he will do anything she asks, such as performing "mom" duties so she can pretend to have the perfect work/life balance.

Jay's wife Gloria thinks so little of him that she can never remember his name, although she knows everyone else who works at the company, even the guys in the warehouse.

In Episode 8.12, Ben notes that he has a crush on Claire's adult daughter, Alex. He doesn't expect her to reciprocate, since he's a total loser, not good enough for her -- or for anyone, really. He doesn't deserve to have friends or a romance. But Alex is into losers, and a guy who lives with his mother, owns a cat, works in closets, is constantly ridiculed by everyone, and is over 40 ("actually, I'm 26"): "kiss me!"

Maybe she is attracted to losers like Ben, Alec (John Karna), Teddy, Sanjay (Suraj Patel), and Arvin (Chris Geere, below) because they are so easy to control, belittle, diminish, and feel superior to.

She spends four more episodes in Season 8 and two in Season 9 having fun ordering Ben around, making jokes at his expense, ridiculing his interests, and doing bedroom things with him in ways that ignore his needs.

Finally Ben can't take the constant rejection, and finds a woman who actually likes him. When Alex finds out in Episode 9.5, they break up, and he is never mentioned again.

I kept thinking, what the heck is wrong with these people? Ben is gorgeous, with that round face, expressive eyes, and scruffy beard. At 5'9", a member of the Short Guy Brigade. And always wearing a business suit! When he was on stage, I couldn't pay attention to anyone or anything else.

So let's try a profile.

Question #1: Gay in real life? No: he's married to the "beautiful, kind, funny, supportive, warm-hearted Kylie Augustine," and apparently a devotee of Hooters.

Question #2: Any gay content in his movies and tv shows?

Joe was born in Albuquerque in 1983, went to high school in Minnesota, and received a BFA in Writing from Emerson College in 2006. He began doing stand-up comedy in college, and moved to New York after graduation to go professional.

His first film role is in Yeti: A Love Story (2006): five college students go camping. Joe goes off into the woods to pee (d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), and is skewered. The others are killed, but not by a yeti, by a weird cult. The male yeti is a good guy, who rescues Adam (Adam Malamut). The two fall in love. I can't tell if it is homophobic or not, but Malamut is straight in real life, and according to one review, "incredibly annoying."

More after the break.

Joe went on to 18 acting credits, mostly in projects where he was a writer or producer.

The workplace comedy Parks and Recreation (2009-15): Joe wrote six episodes, played a nerd in six.

I watched part of one episode, but turned it off due to the rampant "girls! girls! girls!" heterosexism.

The police comedy Brooklyn 99 (2013-21), which has a gay character: Joe played a drug dealer/ informant in two episodes.

I watched one episode, but didn't like it.

The Good Place (2016-20), about a mismatched group of dead people who think they are in The Good Place, but really it's the Bad Place: Joe wrote six episodes, played an inept demon in six, produced 50.

I liked the first season, but not the others. No gay characters.

Hacks (2021-25): A drama with jokes featuring Jean Smart as a washed-up shock comedian with a lesbian assistant and a gay manager. Joe wrote three episodes, played a hotel clerk in five, produced 37, won two Emmies.

I gave it a B-.

Running Point (2025), about three siblings, one gay (Drew Tarver of The Other Two), who try to run a basketball franchise. Joe played a doctor in one episode, wrote one, produced ten.

I gave it a C+.

Plus Joe has written for the 2010 MTV Movie Awards, the 2011 Comedy Awards, Funny as Hell, The Comedy Central Roasts, Joe Mande's Award-Winning Comedy Special...you get the idea.

Not much gay content there.

#3 Any beefcake/nude photos?

Research -- a lot of research -- revealed no beefcake shots except for a deepfake (top photo), but oddly several d*ck pics and a leaked video (no face visible). Dude doesn't want us to see his chest, but his d*ck, no problem?

Sometimes doing these profiles is rewarding. I develop a new respect for the actor: Isaac Ordonez is not just Pugsley Addams, he works in media aimed at showcasing the Hispanic experience.

Find new tv shows and movies to watch: James Stockdale sent me to Derry Girls.

Learn interesting things. Cody Kearsley belongs to the Metis Nation, descendants of Native Americans and European settlers with a distinct language.

But researching Joe Mande has left me sad and sort of empty. Straight in real life, no gay characters, tv shows that I've already seen or watched an episode and disliked, no beefcake, d*ck pics without a face...

I wish I was back to the infinite promise of Ben on Modern Family.