Josh Henderson plays bad boys, gets tied up, but is too small or fundamentalist for n*de photos. With Vartan and Hutcherson to make up for it

  

I don't know what to think about Josh Henderson's whitebread name, generic handsomeness, and mildly muscular physique.  You can feel the privilege radiating out from his self-assured high-school jock smirk.  I don't know if I want to kiss him or slap him.

Link to the n*de photos

Or tie him up.  You know he'd make a good b*ndage bottom (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

According to his IMDB biography, Josh was born in...ugh...Texas, and grew up in Oklahoma.

His career started shortly after he graduated from Tulsa Memorial High School in 2000, on the talent show Popstars. This gained him a record contract, but the company went bankrupt before his record could be released.

So it was on to guest spots on Maybe Its Me and Do Over, and a starring role in the second season of  One on One (2002-03): A a sportscaster named Flex overprotects his teenage daughter, and disapproves of her relationship with the son of his hated rival.  Guess who plays the son.

Leeches (2003) is one of David DeCoteau's "gay people don't exist, but here are some guys hugging in their underwear" movies.  (They also get tied up and attacked by leeches.)

Josh's next major role was in Season 3 of Desperate Housewives (2006-07).  He played Austin McCann, the bad boy nephew of Edie Britt. He moves in with his fun-loving aunt and starts a relationship with the girl-next-door Julie, but an affair with a neighbor leads to a breakup, and he leaves Wisteria Lane forever. But Julie isn't exactly chaste: she goes on to have an affair with a married man, and gets (censored) after a  hookup with a friend (Charlie Carver, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).

In Step Up (2006), Channing Tatum (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) plays a juvenile delinquent who becomes a dancer and meets The Girl, but she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend. Guess who.

More after the break

Skyler Paulley: A Bible-quoting gay-positive Regal HOV gets a boyfriend in a "Hocus Pocus" reboot. With Dean's d*ck and a new n*de Gisondo

  

Link to the n*de photos

Instagram recommended someone named Skyler Paulley, who has an alphabet soup of acronyms in his tagline: SPH, 2x AFKA, 5 Star Ambassador, Regal HOV, JV, Christian, CPR.

It doesn't include much more information, just a lot of shirtless, sports, and hugging-buddies shots.

His Dad, Ronnie Paulley Jr. (Proverbs 3:6: "In everything you do, put God first."), translates on his Facebook page:

SPH is a casting studio.

AFKA: American Freestyle Karate Association. Two wins.

5 Star Ambassador: for martial arts.

Regal HOV: Induction in the Martial Arts Hall of Fame.

Junior Varsity in soccer, basketball, football, baseball, wakeboarding, and track.  When does the dude find the time to act?

And he knows CPR.

Skyler is also a model.  Here he poses for Dillard's, and tells us: "I truly believe that God gives us these journeys, and we only succeed when we let Him lead the way."

The teen idol website doesn't add any information.  More shirtless and sports photos, sometimes with cute companions.  He also posts two photos with his girlfriend (not kissing or hugging).

In June 2026, Dad Ronnie takes Skyler and his buddy to The Mandalorian and Grogu.  But if Skyler has a girlfriend, wouldn't he take her?  

Maybe they broke up?

So, quoting Bible verses and saying that "God gives us these journeys" usually means homophobic, and "girlfriend" usually means straight  .I 'd give him a miss except for his role in Hocus Pocus: The Mini-Series (2025). 

The Sanderson Sisters, three wacky witches from Hocus Pocus (1993), are zapped into the modern world, where they bedevil teenage Kevin (Skyler) and his family. Winifred, the character made famous by Bette Midler, is played by director Nathan Lampone in drag.

In Episodes 1 and 2, a zombie named Billy (Clayton Parks) comes to Kevin's rescue.  In Episode 3,  he gets a makeover to become "more handsome" in Kevin's eyes, and they are living together, and dancing together at a school dance.  In later episodes, they fight the witches together.

The romance doesn't last -- by the second season, Kevin has a girlfriend, and Billy has moved on to a guy named Noah (Connor Roden), who reveals a "secret" in Episode 12.  

These may be texts rather than subtexts.  According to the official website, the production company, Studio Lampone, is queer-friendly, with several queer members.  They perform at Pride events and in gay bars. 

Wait -- how did Bible-quoting Skyler get involved with a queer-friendly  group?

He's got ten acting credits listed on the IMDB.  In 2023 he appeared in Kelly Clarkson's music video I Dare You (to Love), which features a gay couple getting married, another with their baby, and several rainbow hearts. Everything else is from 2025 or 2026.

Shorts:

I F*king Hate Oranges: Brothers Skyler and David Hernandez hate oranges. Written and directed by students at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts.

N*de photo of David Hernandez on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends. Not the one who hates oranges.

Exterra: A young boy (Skyler) makes first contact with alien's (yes, they used an apostrophe as a plural). A local North Carolina production.

More after the break

Freddie from ICarly Finally Shows Us His Chest

Remember Freddie, the nerdish video engineer on Nickelodeon's ICarly (2007-12)?  It had some rather homophobic scenes, including a queer-coded Big Bad, but at least Carly and Sam had a gay subtext relationship, big brother Stuart was obviously bisexual, and Freddie was cute.

Then actor Nathan Kress started to bulk up.

Fans waited patiently for some shirtless shots, if not on the show, then on Instagram, Facebook, Myspace, Snapchat...anywhere?  On the beach?  Demonstrating your workout?  Taking a selfie?

Nothing.  Nathan never even wore a sleeveless shirt.

Did he think muscles were incongruous with Freddie's nerd image?  Or as a fundamentalist Christian, was he worried about his body sparking lustful thoughts in teenage fans?

Who knows?  Physique aficionados eventually gave up on him, and moved on to guys who weren't so stingy with muscle displays.

Well, it's been six years since ICarly ended,  and Nathan is 26 years old, still buffed, still fundamentalist, only now with a beard, wife, and kid (I mean an actual beard).

He's done guest shots on other Nickelodeon shows, some voice work, some directing, and some acting.  His major projects include disaster (Into the Storm), horror (Tell Me How I Die), something about teen dancers (Breaking Brooklyn),  and a web comedy about an Apocalypse that didn't happen (Alive in Denver).

His new show, RadioActive Dads, will premiere on July 24th.

He's still shy about displaying his physique, but there are two shirtless shots amid the hundreds on his Instagram site.  Both taken at the same time.

Here he seems to be saying, "Ok, fine, here I am with my shirt off.  Happy?"













Not really.  I mean, you're hot and all, but was it worth all the secrecy? What's the big deal? Everybody has a chest.

See also:

Nathan Kress, Freddie from ICarly, grown up. Is he still homophobic? Is he still shy about showing his d*ck?

ICarly

Marcel Ruiz: "One Day at a Time" boy grows up, plays gay guys, wears dresses, kisses girls. You figure him out. With Lucas backside and Jackson junk

Link to the n*de photos

When I was in high school, Tuesday night meant Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, and One Day at a Time (1975-84).   a "hip sitcom" with divorced mom Anne Romano (Bonnie Franklin) moving from small-town Logansport to Indianapolis to raise her kids: rebellious Julie, popular Barbara, and eventually the exceptionally femme Alex (Glenn Scarpelli).  Building handyman Schneider popped in all the time.

The theme song brings me back to those nights, sitting in the living room with my parents and brother and sister, doing my homework on a clipboard. No matter what problems I was facing outside, with screaming preachers and sadistic teachers and the constant refrain of "what girl do you like?", I was safe here.

This is it (this is it); this is life, the one you get, so go and have a ball.
This is it (this is it): straight ahead, and rest assured, you can't be sure at all.
So while you're here, enjoy the view, keep on doin' what you do.
Hang on tight, we'll muddle through -- one day at a time.

In 2017, a re-imagining appeared on Netflix, only to be cancelled, moved to Pop and TVLand, and cancelled again in 2020.  It was a re-imagining because it had nothing to do with the original series except for the title, the theme song, and characters named Alex and Schneider.  Here they are a Hispanic family living in Echo Park, Los Angeles: army nurse Lupe; social activist Elena; and popular Alex (Marcel Ruiz).  Grandma Rita Moreno pops in frequently.

I watched an episode out of curiosity, but didn't like it.  Mostly ladies; no cute guys (Todd Grinnell as Schneider was not my type). And why did they keep the name Alex but remove his gay coding?  

Besides, watching on my laptop in my home office in 2017 was just not the same as watching in the living room surrounded by my family in 1977.

Then I saw Isabella Gomez and Marcel Ruiz (who played Elena and Alex) in a video for the It Gets Better project.  Isabella talks about how Elena struggles with coming out as a queer Latinx woman, and starts dating the nonbinary Syd.  "Normalizing lesbian and nonbinary identities on tv plays an important role in creating acceptance in real life."  Marcel adds that if your family doesn't accept you, there are others who do. You can find a chosen family.  "It gets better. Just keep going through life everyday."  Not "one day at a time"?

Isabella plays a queer character, but why is Marcel there?  Alex is straight.  You're looking quite femme in that outfit, buddy. Are you gay in real life, like the original? 

Time for a profile.

Marcel was born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, in 2003.  His mother, Mariem Pérez Riera, is an Emmy-winning director known for her biography of Rita Morena (not coincidentally, grandma on One Day at a Time). His father, Carlitos Ruíz Ruíz, is a "photographer, storyteller, and filmmaker" known for Maldeamores (2007), about a love triangle.

For someone born into a family of film makers, Marcel doesn't have a lot of acting gigs listed on the IMDB.  His career starts with an episode of Snowfall (2017), a tv series about the cocaine panic in Los Angeles in the early 1980.  Damson Idris (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) stars as a drug dealer.  Marcel plays a young Sandanista operative spying on the CIA in Nicaragua. He gets killed.  

His first starring role was in Breakthrough (2019): When a boy with the crazily Anglo name John Smith (Marcel) drowns in a lake, his Mom prays that he will be brought back "from the brink of death."  Did he die or almost die?  

Josh Lucas (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) plays the boy's Dad, and Topher Grace of That 70s Show plays the megachurch pastor.  

Marcel apparently belongs to a megachurch in real life, too.

Sounds Christian, which means homophobic, but Topher Grace went on to star in Home Economics (2021-23), and Marcel, to One Day at a Time (2017-20).  Both of their characters have gay sisters.  Go figure.

 Marcel has only two post-Days roles:

A Bad Bunny music video, Baile inolvidable (Unforgettable dance, 2025).  A lot of male-female couples dance while their friends cheer them on.  

And the short Telaraña (2025) : The teenage Naomi faces the "disturbing truth" about her family, involving a giant spider (araña).  Marcel plays her brother Lolo.

Plus two upcoming projects.

Summer of Three (filming completed in 2026): After his father's death, Javi (Marcel) returns to Puerto Rico, where he becomes involved in a love triangle with Luife (Paolo Schone) and his girlfriend Kiki.  I can't tell from the plot description and photos if the two men are competing for the lady, or if all three fall in love. 

More after the break

Bobby Hogan: From homophobic college to Parody Spiderman, with some significant d*cks in between

 

Link to the significant d*cks

"The Lake," from Season 2 of  American Horror Stories, follows the recent American Horror Story pattern of minimizing or eliminating LGBT representation.  In the first scene, three hot guys and three bikini-clad girls are on a boat, discussing how heterosexual they are.  Jake (Bobby Hogan) has a map of the village that was flooded to create their lake, so he and his sister dive down and look for souvenirs.  Suddenly a green tendril grabs him and pulls him into the muck.  He doesn't appear again, except as a corpse.  In fact, none of the cute guys appear again.  The story is all about sister Finn and her mother discovering the evil secret of the lake.

Heteronormativity or no, I wanted more than just one scene worth of Bobby Hogan's chest and abs, so I researched him on IMDB and his instagram, looking for beefcake and evidence that he is gay.

Not much biographical information.  On his Facebook, he says that he is from St. Louis and Chaminade College Preparatory School and Belmont University in Nashville.  Chaminade is Catholic, and Belmont is "Christ-centered," affiliated with the Southern Baptist Church until it broke away in 2007, and intensely homophobic. 

Bobby starred in Escape to Margaritaville, Footloose, and Johnny and the Devil's Box, and graduated with a BFA in Musical Theater in 2019.  

Wait -- 90% of musical theater guys are gay.  How does Belmont even allow a musical theater degree program?  Bobby must be gay or gay-friendly, but then why would he choose a homophobic college and listen to rants about how evil he or his fellow drama majors are?  I'm confused.

That better not be an alcoholic beverage, Buddy Boy

On WeAudition, advertising a service helping you run lines, develop a character, and so on, Bobby states that he moved to Los Angeles in the fall of 2020 to begin his film/tv career.  Unfortunately, it was the start of the COVID pandemic, so roles were scarce.  He has 10 listins on the IMDB, beginning in 2021 with The Superhero Diaries  

He plays a Parody Spiderman in 7 episodess.  I watched some clips on Youtube: a date with Harley Quinn, and serenading Wonder Woman.  Depressingly heteronormative, but he displays a nice physique and bulge.

After that, a lot of guest gigs:

Duncan in the 9-1-1 Lone Star episode "Red vs. Blue."  It's actually about a cops-firefighter baseball game, not red states vs. blue states.

 Marine Recruit #6 in the movie Manifest Evil.  The trailer shows a man interacting with two women, yawn.

The American Horror Stories gig.

Trevor Logan on The FBI episode "Fortunate Son." A teen shows up at headquarters with a bag of fentanyl, and wants the gang to find out who killed his father.  

A soldier on the NCIS episode "Survival of the Fittest."  He is attacked by a genetic weapon.

Cole on SWAT

Joshua in Remy & Arletta, a Christian movie about two girls who are friends (not girlfriends).  A Christian movie?   Figures.

Two episodes on Chicago PD as Noah Gorman, a teenager who leaves home after his homophobic parents denounce him for being gay. He is kidnapped, but mom and dad don't care, it's what he deserves for turning evil.  He is found, badly beaten and traumatized, but won't say who the kidnapper was.  

Hank Voight, Jason Beghe, takes him in, since he has nowhere else to go.  In the next episode, he is kidnapped again and killed -- not in a hate crime, just a regular serial killer, but still an awful "bury your gays" moment.  If you are gay, you must die.

But at least Bobby had no problem with playing a gay character. 

More after the break

My Boyfriend and My Satanist Ex-Boyfriend at Thanksgiving Dinner: A Kelvin/Keefe Adventure

 "Mama!" Keefe exclaimed.  "Why on Earth did you invite my ex-boyfriend to Thanksgiving Dinner, when you knew that Kelvin was coming?"

She frowned.  "Well, why not?  Daedalus came to every Thanksgiving and Christmas for five years.  And your nephew Austin's piano recitals. Jimmy called him 'Uncle Daedus.'" He's part of the family.  Just because you broke up for some crazy reason doesn't mean we have to break up with him, too."

"I found God, Mama! Isn't that what you wanted for me?"

"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.  And you were happy with Daedalus.  A lot happier than you seem now, when every word I say makes you uncomfortable or angry, and the wonderful Reverend Gemstone treats you like his personal servant.  Now, does this casserole get onion rings on top, or not?"

The rest of the story, with n*de photos and explicit s*x scenes, is on Righteous Gemstones Beefcake and Boyfriends

Luke Benward: Fried worms, Disney movies, Christian music, gay friends, an adult video, and a n*de Cameron Monaghan.

Link to the n*de Benward and Cameron

How to Eat Fried Worms (Thomas Rockwell, 1973) is one of the classic novels of my childhood: Billy brags that he can eat anything, so when his friend Alan offers him $50 to eat a worm a day for 15 days....  He can prepare them any way he wants, but Alan will provide the worms. The parents are in on the scheme, there is no bullying involved, each of the boys has a buddy-bonding best friend, and the only girl is Billy's sister.  No one wins the Girl of His Dreams.

 Remembering the buddy-bonds and the absence of the heterosexist trajectory, I eagerly tuned in to the Disney Channel version (2006).  But now Billy (Luke Benward) is confronted by a gang of  bullies led by Joe (Adam Hicks), he joins a group of friend instead of a special buddy, and there is a Girl of His Dreams.  

A rather disappointing start to Luke Benward's career.  Let's see if he has redeemed himself since with some gay roles.

According to the IMDB, Luke was born in 1995 in Franklin, Tennesse.  

He first appeared on screen playing Mel Gibson's son in We Were Soldiers (2002).  

The infamous homophobe Mel Gibson?  That's even worse. 

After roles in the revamped Family Affair (2002) and Because of Winn-Dixie (2005), Luke hit Disney gold with Fried Worms (2006).  

His Disney stardom assured, he continued with Mostly Ghostly (2007): A shy boy (Sterling Beaumon) encounters a ghost boy (Luke) and his sister, who has a crush on him.  He must figure out how they died before it's too late, and win the Girl of His Dreams. 

Left: Luke and Sterling Beamon strangling Miles Heizer.  Neither has actually worked with Miles Heizer.  Maybe they're friends?

Minutemen (2008): A teen nerd (Luke), his buddy, and the Girl Next Door become time travelers, allowing him to best the obnoxious jock who is dating the Girl of His Dreams. Guess who he ends up with.

Dog Gone (2008): A boy (Luke) rescues a dog from bumbling thieves, bests the school bully (Cameron Monaghan, on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends),  and wins the Girl of His Dreams.

Things are not looking good for you, Luke Baby.

Let's skip past Girl v Monster and Zombies and Cheerleaders to Luke's first major tv role in Good Luck Charlie (2013).  Charlie is a girl, not a boy, and she doesn't bring good luck; she is merely the subject of a video diary filmed by her father.  Luke plays Beau Landry, an employee at Bob's Bugs Be Gone who meets, falls in love with, and eventually becomes the boyfriend of Teddy (another girl.  What's with this show?).

Ok, what about Ravenswood (2013-14), a teen mystery series featuring dark secrets in a small town?  Luke plays Dillon Sanders, who is dating focus character Olivia but is secretly plotting to prevent her from discovering the dark secrets.  Oh, and he kills her father.  That sort of ends the relationship.

Cloud 9 (2014): A snowboarder and her obnoxious boyfriend are trained by snowboarding great Will Cloud (Luke).  The boyfriend gets dumped, and...well you know the rest.

Measure of a Man (2018): Dude gets a girlfriend.

Life of the Party (2018): Middle-aged Deanna, dumped by her husband, returns to college, and has s*x with a fratboy (Luke), who becomes obsessed with her.  Guess what?  He's the son of the woman Deanna was dumped for. 

I'm tired of this.  Let's see what else Luke has been up to.

He's done some music, such as the theme song for Cloud 9, and he has appeared in the music videos of several other artists, including Martina McBride and Jason Aldean.  

Wait -- he's the son of Christian country-western singer Aaron Benward, shown here with his boyfriend...um, I mean singing partner Scott Reeves -- and the grandson of Christian music producer Jeoffrey Benward.  They have won Dove Awards, and Jeoffrey was inducted into Christian Music Hall of Fame.  Why didn't anyone tell me this before?  Luke Baby is too fundamentalist to play a gay character, and if he's gay in real life, he's got to be extremely closeted.

According to the Who's Dated Who website, Luke has been in relationships with several women, and is currently dating Ariel Winter (Alex Dumphy on Modern Family).  You know there were gay characters on that show, right?

Luke's Instagram is confusing: Very few photos of Ariel or any girlfriend, a lot of guy-hugging, almost as if he's trying to fool you into thinking that he's gay.  Won't work, dude. 

Plus he's buddies with the gay Miles Heizer, and that adult video (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) looks a lot like it's aimed at a guy...

See also:Shane Harper: the "Good Luck Charlie" and "God's Not Dead" guy shows his stuff surprisingly often

Miles Heizer: Gay and nearly-gay roles, a real-life girlfriend and several boyfriends, plus Guy's Bar

"Blue Ridge" Episode 1.3: A wrestling promoter is murdered at a high school in the Hills. With lots of beefy suspects and Michael O'Hearn

Kevin Quinn: "Bunk'd" hunk, singer, mental health advocate, gay Christian. Or not. With the hunk's junk and Mykelti's bottom

Link to the c*ocks

I have about eight profiles ready to post, plus reviews of tv shows and movies.  This one has been sitting in my files for awhile:

After reviewing the gay-engagement episode of the Disney Channel's Bunk'd, about a summer camp where the campers stick around for years, I checked for male cast members who were gay or had posted n*de photos as adults, and found two:  Nate Stone, below, and Kevin Quinn.

Kevin is gay and Christian, of special interest to me due to my hardcore evangelical childhood.  

The Chicago native had performed for the Children's Theater of Winnetka, but he was primarily interested in baseball until 2013.  Then,  a week after his 15th birthday, he auditioned for American Idol -- the youngest contestant ever.  He made it through the Long Beach and Hollywood rounds before being eliminated.

After doubling up on courses to graduate from high school early, he returned to  Los Angeles, where he was immediately cast in Bunk'd as Xander McCormick, the handsome, muscular, but dim-witted summer camp counselor who draws the attention of "all" of the female counselors (and none of the male; this was still the Disney Channel)

He also appeared in an episode of Shameless and the remake of Adventures in Babysitting on the side.  Plus he was touring in a musical group.

After two seasons, Kevin left Bunk'd  due to exhaustion, stress, and mental health issues -- he was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.  He began concentrating on his singing, although he still appeared occasionally on screen:

Three episodes of Champions (2018) as Greg, who draws the interest of the gay boy Michael (Josie Totah before she began transitioning).

Brian in Canal Street (2018), a Christian movie with teenage Jackie (Mykelti Williamson, left) accused of murdering a classmate.  He and his Dad, or both, find God.

A member of a social anxiety group in an episode of Love Daily (2018).

A starring role in A Christmas Love Story (2019), as a boy who has a "golden voice," and may be just who focus character Katherine needs to win or save whatever needs winning or saving.   Complication: the boy's father (Scott Wolf) disapproves of singing. Not macho enough for you, Dad?

Another starring role in A Week Away (2021), as an orphaned boy who finds a parental figure, a best buddy, a girlfriend, and God at a Christian summer camp (at least it only lasts for a week, not forever like "Bunk'd").  He originally auditioned for the best buddy role, but the showrunners thought he would shine as the lead.

A third starring role -- boyfriend is on fire!  -- in Send It (2022), as an extreme sports player who finds a girlfriend, and I assume God, at a kiteboarding competition.

More after the break

Caleb Ruminer: From fundamentalist Arkansas to angst drama, softcore straight stuff, gay adult stuff, and gay teases

  

Link to the n*de Caleb and some other dudes

In the teen drama Finding Carter (2014-2015), 16-year old Carter (Kathryn Prescott) discovers that the woman she thinks of as her mother actually kidnapped her when she was three.  She is reunited with her birth family, and must juggle the standard high school "boys! fashion!  mean girls!" drama with soap opera angst: kidnapping, insanity, se xual assault, cancer, drug ab use, murder, "shocking revelations," and "dark secrets."

She has two potential boyfriends, the violent drug dealer Crash (Caleb Ruminer) and the kind, gentle Max (Alex Saxon). 

There are two lesbian characters, Madison and Bird, who face extensive homophobia, go through extensive angst, and date Max before figuring "it" out. 

I've already done a profile of Alex Saxon, so this is about Caleb Ruminer,  which is hard to type without it sounding dirty.  It means "someone who ruminates," fixates on negative thoughts.

Caleb was born in Cabot, Arkansas, about 25 miles north of Little Rock.   Ulp.

He found his passion for acting while singing in church, appearing in church plays, and so on. Ulp.

After graduating from high school, he attended the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, AMDA, in Los Angeles, for two years. Then dropped out because they were too liberal?

His first acting gig was an 2013 episode of Castle, as the brother of a teenager who would grow up to be on death row.

Then came the unyielding angst of Finding Carter 

In a 2014 interview in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette (wait -- there are Democrats in Arkansas?), Caleb talks about a struggle with being a Christian and playing a bad boy.  But, he figures, the bad boy is never praised for committing sins, so it's ok.  He found a church in Los Angeles where they talk about how you can be Christian and an actor.  

Ulp.  Doubtless there's some (a lot) of homophobia in our boy's background.

But some pe nises, too (on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends)

After Carter, Caleb starred in Lethal Seduction (2015), which is what it sounds like: teenager Caleb is seduced by his cougar neighbor, who influences him to do  a lot of deviant stuff.  His mother is also in love with him, so the two psychos have an increasingly violent tug-of-war with Caleb in the middle. Plus he has a teen girlfriend and a best buddy (Sam Lerner, right)

Sam Lerner is best known as Geoff Schwartz on The Goldbergs (2014-23). There's a photo on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends of him chilling with some very gifted home boys.

Next Caleb had guest spots on:

Episode 1.5 of The World According to Billy Potwin (2018), about a far-right anti-vax 13-year old in a family of liberals. Like Family Ties? 

Episode 1.1 of Strange Ones (2018): "Two enigmatic travelers make their way across a remote landscape," facing paranormal peril. First up: an angst-ridden high school girl conjures a demon.  Wait, a movie entitled The Strange Ones and a tv series called Strange Ones both premiered in 2018.  I may be mixing them up.

Episode 2.3 of Dirty John: Betty Broderick (2020), a true-crime show about the woman who murdered her ex-husband (Christian Slater) and his new wife in 1989.  "Betty takes a desperate step to save her marriage."

Episode 1.1 of The Irrational (2023): A professor (Jesse L. Martin, left) uses his knowledge of human nature to solve murders.  His roommate and best friend is a queer woman.

Caleb's character is a former Marine suffering from PTSD and alcohol abuse.  Figures.

Dude, try a comedy.  They aren't that bad.

More after the break.  

Bug Hall: A lot of movies that no one has seen, some homophobic rants, and an enormous penis

Link to the enormous penis

 I'm always conflicted about posting nude pictures of homophobic actors. There's a little frisson of guilt that comes from looking at the penis of someone who hates you, as if you are somehow encouraging him. On the other hand, imagine how upset he would be to find himself the object of homoerotic desire.

And, to be fair, it is huge.

In this case, I'm talking about Bug Hall, who hit the big screen in 1994. at the age of eight.  He played Alfalfa in The Little Rascals, a modernized version of the Our Gang comedy shorts of the 1930s.  Having already seen some of the shorts -- no, not in the 1930s -- I didn't watch, but I heard that Alfalfa falls in love with a girl.  At age eight.

The original Alfalfa, Carl Switzer, had a hard life after Our Gang, and was killed in a bar fight in 1959, at age 31. 

Bug Hall had a hard life after The Little Rascals, too. Far less successful kid movies followed: The Big Green, The Stupids, and The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas. I don't think anybody saw them.

He sprang into a heteronormative adolescence with Skipped Parts, 2000, about having sex with a girl.  I didn't see it, but there's a clip floating around the internet where the 14-year old is getting undressed in preparation for the sex, and becomes aroused.  I can't tell if it was scripted, or an accident.  Either way, you don't want to see it. 

More heteronormativity with Get a Clue, 2002, about two high school journalists who solve a mystery and fall in love.  I didn't see it, but I like the theme song, "Get a Clue," performed by Simon and Milo, an animated gay-subtext couple.

Get a clue, there's nothing you can't do.

Nothing's ever quite what it seems

Just look a little closer at me

Wake up, who knew, it's me, it's you, get a clue.

More sex in Footsteps and Arizona Summer, which I didn't see, and then a fizzing out into guest spots on tv dramas: Strong Medicine, Charmed, Cold Case, The O.C.

Bug runs away naked in The Day the Earth Stopped, 2008: "Hundreds of massive intergalactic robots appear in all of the world's major capitals with an ultimatum: Prove the value of human civilization or be destroyed."  Holy cow, that sounds awful.

It features a man and a woman falling in love -- heterosexual romance is the value of human civilization, get it? 

At this point, you're probably wondering if I've actually seen Bug Hall in anything. I'm wondering about that, too. 

American Pie Presents the Book of Love. No.

Camoflauge: "A troubled teen-aged boy is sent to a boot camp in a secluded forest where he must survive the horrifying disciplinary tactics of a demented camp counselor."  No, and the blurb writer forgot the first rule of writing: minimal use of stupid, superfluous adjectives.

More Bug after the break

The Top 14 Hunks of "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"

Kimmy Schmidt is kidnapped as a teenager and taken to a bunker, where she and three other women are held captive by the Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne.  15 years later, she is rescued, and moves to New York to rebuild her life.  She works at various jobs and dates various guys.  She studies for her GED, somehow gets accepted to Columbia University, and finds her true calling as a crossing guard.












Subplots involve the travails of her scoobies: street-smart Lillian (Carol Kane), flamboyant aspiring singer Titus (Tituss Burgess), and socialite Jacqueline (Jane Krakowski).

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015-), currently with three seasons up on Netflix, manages to address Kimmy's traumatic past without devolving into melodrama, partially because it sidesteps some of the darker questions, and partially because it displays Kimmy as endlessly cheerful and unflaggingly optimistic, certain that whatever problem life throws at her will be a thousand times better than the bunker.

There's a strong gay presence.  Titus is not merely a stereotypic gay bff; he owns his flamboyance, insisting that this is his story, with Kimmy a supporting player.  He has a life of his own, even a sex life: he dates the newly-out construction worker Mikey, breaks up with him, dates other guys, and then tries to win him back.

And the beefcake is endless.  There's a parade of cute guys:

1. Ki Hong Lee as Dong (top photo).

2. Mike Carlsen as Mikey.

3. Josh Charles (left) as Duke, the attractive but boorish brother of Jacqueline's altruistic attorney boyfriend.

4. Andrew Ridings as Charles, tutor to Jacqueline's son Buckley, who dates Kimmy.

5. Brandon Jones (left) as Brandon, who is dating Kimmy's bunker mate Cyndee even though he's gay, because bunker women get all kinds of free stuff.

6. Daveed Diggs as Perry, a Columbia philosophy student who dates Kimmy until she discovers that he's training to become a "reverend."

7.  Derek Klena (left) as Doug, a dog groomer who Jacqueline trains to be a trophy boyfriend.

8. John McMartin as Grant, a war veteran who exchanges traumatic experience advice with Kimmy.

9. Michael Benjamin Washington as Ruben, who Titus dates until he discovers that he has a daughter named Linda.

10. Noah Robbins as Zach, who drops out of Columbia to start a tech company and hires Kimmy to do the emotional work.

11. Tim Boardman as Dylan, one of the friends of Jacqueline's stepdaughter Xanthippe.

12. Billy Magnussen (left) as Russ, Jacqueline's unattractive boyfriend, after he's "smooshed" in an accident and goes through reconstructive surgery.

13. Anthony Marks as Dom Jr., Mikey's brother.

14.  Cameron Cowperthwaite as Austin.  I don't remember who Austin was, but isn't this a great photo?