Survival of the Thickest: Mavis and her nemesis spar in Paris, Khalil and Luca "get closer," and who the heck is Lopez? With his d*ck and n*de models

Link to the n*de dudes

I wasn't planning to review Survival of the Thickest, about a thick black woman finding body positivity as a fashion designer.  But Queerty said that it had gay representation, and one of the cast members, somebody with the last name Lopez (I didn't record the first name), appeared on the n*de celebrity subreddit, so I figured I'd give it a shot. 

In Episode 3.4, "C'est la vie, Bitch," they visit Paris Fashion Week, while back in New York, Khalil and Luca "connect." They must be the gay couple, and there'll be shots of Paris. 

Khalil is played by Tone Bell, backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Scene 1: Mavis and her friend on a tour bus, shouting "I'm a designer!"  They reach their destination, the Victoria Palace Hotel , but they're actually staying at the horrible hostel next door.

"It's got character," Mavis says, trying to look on the bright side. "It's got [a vulgar term for lady parts]"  

"It smells like an 18th century pap smear."  A lot of lady part jokes.

She likes the doorknobs in the center, like a belly button, and asks the concierge if she can check his belly button.  He refuses.

Scene 2: Seven flights of stairs and a hallway bathroom, but there's a view of the Eiffel Tower from the window.  Of course -- on tv every Parisian hotel room looks out at the Eiffel Tower, even if  it's miles away and facing the wrong direction.   Mavis washes up  with a handi-wipe, while they discuss how far they've come in two years.

Whomp, someone farts.  Turns out that the ladies have a roommate sleeping under the covers in the top bunk.  

Scene 3: Luca (Marouane Zotti), the one who's going to connect with Khalil (hopefully by kissing), is counseling a refugee couple, assuring them that they'll get housing soon.  They also need a job.  "I promise that you'll..."

His coworker Donny Wang (Ronnie Chien) butts in to tell them that their chances are slim,  When they leave, he advises "Never promise anything.  Keep their expectations vague...."

In other news, a girl asked him to DJ at the gentlemen's club tonight.  

"Sorry. I have plans with friends," Luca tells him.

"Oh, I wasn't inviting you.  I was bragging about all the n*ked ladies I'm going to see."  Ugh, a character whose shtick is being a slimebag.  

Left: Ronnie seems to be gay in real life.

Scene 4: Mavis is giving a pep talk to her models, telling them to "eye f*ck" everyone.  There are some androgynous and genderqueer types, and some plus-sized, like David Ventakapen (n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends).   They walk across a portico (with the Eiffel Tower in the background, of course) and get photographed.  Then Mavis is introduced to thunderous applause.   A journalist tells her that the genderqueer outfit has made her the Best New Renegade of Fashion Week, which comes with a Vogue cover.  And she's invited to the Vogue party tonight.  Wait -- she's the most renowned fashion designer in the world, but she's staying in a youth hostel?

Suddenly Mavis almost collapses in pain, but her friend tells her to dance it off.  Chekhov's Gun: This better be important.

And when are we getting to the Lopez guy?

Scene 5: They have time before the Vogue party tonight, so we get a montage of the usual.  They want to take a boat tour, but the tour guide won' sell them tickets, even though the boat is only half full. And when they try to go to a restaurant, the waiter (Theo Pham) tellsl them that it's closed.  Racism plotline? About 10% of the French population has African ancestry, more in big cities.

They try a Senegalese restaurant in the Black neighborhood, Château Rouge in the 18th Arrondissement,  and are served immediately.   "I like Black Paris a little better than the rest of Paris," the Friend muses.

Khalil and Luca getting close after the break

Not Suitable for Work: A 2020s "Friends" with two breakups, two meet-cutes, three d*cks (two visible), fashion, finance, and a gay guy turned straight.

Link to the n*de dudes

The first three episodes of Not Suitable for Work (2026) just dropped on Hulu.  It's advertised as "five twenty-something professionals" in Manhattan struggling with careers and relationships.  

Sounds familiar.  I've already seen New Girl (with Max Greenfield, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) Happy Endings (with Zachary Knighton),  Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (with Victor Rodriguez III), and the grandad of them all, Friends:

The first episode synopsis of the new series gets all creepy: "Whoa -- two girls live across the hall from three guys. Yeah, I'd watch that, leer leer."  But according to Decider and Meecham Meriweather's blog, there's a gay character, Kel, played by Nicholas Durvenay.  So I'll watch for gay representation.

There are five interlocking plotlines.  I'll separate them for clarity.

Dudebro Davis

Behind a giant stock ticker, Dudebro Davis (Will Angus) is getting yelled at by HR for having an office romance: "relationships with coworkers are forbidden." 

"If I have to choose between love and work, I'll choose love!"

The next morning, Dudebro tries to bring his girl breakfast in bed, but she's dumped him.

He asks his roommates why girls keep breaking up with him, even though he has a great body and a high-paying job.  

"Maybe you come on too strong, falling in love instantly."

He heads to work. Coworker Jocelyn (queer actress May Hong) notes that she hurt her Achilles tendon, but the nurse at Urgent Care was kind of cute.  She doesn't specify a male nurse, and most nurses are ladies.  I'll bet she's queer.

Coworker Dileen renewed his vows with his wife over the weekend.  Dudebro responds with "God, I'm so lonely!"  You had a girlfriend like 30 seconds ago.  You haven't had a chance to become lonely yet.   Dileen advises him to start off as a friend, then move gradually into romance.

But when Dudebro walks into work the next day, he is so stunned by the sight of the Girl of His Dreams that he drops his coffee.  And she turns out to be his new coworker!   He stumbles over himself trying to "welcome" her, introducing her to the coworkers, giving her the company password, and so on.  But when he offers to help with her assignment, she's offended: "I graduated from a top university with a degree in this, and I've done it 38,000 times on two internships with top firms!  I don't need help!"  Uh-oh, you're blowing it.

Gay Dude Kel

At medical school, the teacher announces that today they'll be examining cadavers, including their genitals, "which may be swollen."  Gay Dude Kel doesn't want to do it: "Is there a vegan option?" No.  He removes the sheet and exclaims "That dude's real dead" -- and faints. Haven't you studied anatomy, bro?

 

Cut to Gay Dude discussing a call-back for an acting job with Rich Kid Josh (below). 

"How can you handle acting and med school?"

"It's easy.  I just don't sleep."

On his call-back audition, he is asked to do a monologue where he tells his dad "I'm nothing.  I'm useless."  Next he is asked to do a freestyle rap.  It wasn't mentioned in the audition call. He tries, performs badly, and is ushered out.  

Back in the cadaver lab, Gay Dude decides that he doesn't want to cut open an "uncircumsized cadaver." So it would be ok if he were circumsized?  He doesn't enjoy med school, so he's quitting.  Right now.

When Gay Dude breaks the news to the guys, they are shocked.  "But you don't have a job, and when your mom finds out, she's going to kill you."

"Who cares?  Now I can concentrate on my acting."

The next day, Gay Dude meets his sister  at the coffee shop and explains that he hates medical school, and is droppping out.  "I just need you to help me think of how to tell Mom."  Uh-oh, the sister invited Mom.  Here she is, wanting to take the Christmas card photos with her talented doctor children.  Gay Dude chickens out of telling her.

Rich Kid Josh

Rich Kid Josh (Jack Martin) and his girl are doing stuff. Shirtless, but he moves around too much for a good screen shot  He stops to check his cell phone, which annoys her. It would annoy me, too.  You're literally in the middle of the act.  But he has to check the time of his interview --a PA job on The Wes Dryden Show, a big deal. 

You've seen Jack Martin as the villainous RA in Pizza Movie.

Later, his roommates complain about the girlfriend taking up so much space, so he offers to move with her into the apartment next door.  It's occupied by Fashionista Abby (below), but she's living there illegally, so he'll order her to move out.

In the morning, Rich Kid appears at his interview.  He tells Boss Patricia that even though he's the CEO's son,  he wants to go through the ranks like anyone else.  "Nope, it's not going to happen. You're not qualified.  Next!" 

On the way out, Rich Kid runs into Wes Dryden (Victor Garber), flatters him, and drops CEO Dad's name. "Oh, and I'm applying for a PA job on your show."

Cut to Rich Kid announcing to the guys that he got the job!  

The next day, Wes Dryden introduces Rich Kid as the new PA. Boss Patricia is angry: she wanted to hire a girl who's been interning there for two years.   She calls Josh into her office and asks "Do you know how I got this job?  I married Wes."

Victor Garber's d*ck is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.

Update: it was very small and blurry, so I got rid of it.

"But you're both gay."

"It was the 1990s.  He needed a lavender marriage for his career, and I needed a promotion."  The point is, she's angry that all Rich Kid had to do was say his name, so she's going to keep him from moving up in the industry.

That night, the girlfriend brings Rich Kid  "his favorite" (that's so annoying; all anyone ever eats on tv is their favorite). 

In other news, she's dumping him.  She fell in love with a real estate agent, brother to The Property Brothers (stars of a Canadian DIY show). 

More after the break

Angus De Kirkby: Posh femme boy with long legs, a boyfriend, and a lot of furs. But is he a royal, a model, a fashionista, or just rich?

This photo appeared on my Instagram feed with the comment "He's 40 years old already!"  Obviously a gay couple. The guy on the right has a private account, but his diva boyfriend is Angus De Kirkby.

Very skinny and extraordinarily femme.  Dude is all legs.

"The awful period between Christmas and New Year's, when you don't know what to do with yourself."

I disagree. That's the period where you celebrate the end of the dismal melancholia.

He posts photos with both men and women.  This is his "ride or die," but usually I can't tell if they are buddies, romantic partners, or modeling partners.  

Most of his Instagram photos depict him in ridiculously posh outfits, dripping with diamonds, slathered in furs: "You're nobody until PETA hates you."

 And in the most elegant settings imaginable. 

"Paris, je t'aime."  

I agree, but why pose in front of a n*de lady?

How do you rate these costumes and country estates, buddy?  Are you a jetsetting supermodel or Prince William's cousin?  Or both?

We find out after the break

"Halston": Too many dresses, not enough bulges

Before watching Halston, a 2021 mini-series starring Ewan McGregor, I thought Halston was the gay porn director of the 1980s.

There was a Halston pornographer, of course, but this Halston (1932-1990) was a  fashion designer who dressed celebrities like Elizabeth Taylor, Lauren Bacall, and Betty Ford.  In the 1970s he traveled in the circles of the gliteratti, doing disco and drugs with Liza Minelli, Andy Warhol, Bianca Jagger, Burt Reynolds, and Bella Abzug, throwing money around like he was Richie Rich.  His career came crashing down during the 1980s due to bad business decisions, excessive partying, and not doing any work.  He died of AIDS in 1990.

Fashion design?  I own about thirty shirts, but I usually alternate between the same three.  And in the winter, four sweaters (my favorite is over 20 years old).  I can't remember the last time I wore a suit.  Maybe I'm not the intended audhience for this miniseries.  But I watched anyway.  

1970s Glitterati:  Lots of recognizable 1970s faces, especially Halston's bff Liza Minelli, but also Bianca Jagger, Steve Rubell (of Studio 54), Betty Ford, Calvin Klein, and Divine.   

But basically this is a workplace series, so only a few scenes involved partying.  Mostly we see Halston's work rooms, he's either screaming at people or coming up with a stroke of genius: "You can't make a trench coat out of suede, but what about ultra suede?  Darling, bring me the chinois silk...."

Gay Characters: Halston has a boyfriend in the first episode, and an on-off relationship with a rent boy/aspiring artist named Victor Hugo (Gian Franco Rodriguez, top photo), who ends up blackmailing him ("I have tapes of what we did.").  Halston vastly preferred to hang out with women, reserving men for behind-the-scenes sex.  

By the way, Victor Hugo was a real person, but his relationship with Halston was somewhat exaggerated.  He spent most of his career at Andy Warhol's Factory, posing for erotic photos and licking people and things.

Beefcake:  Not a lot of nudity, but there are some cute guys around, like John David Ridge (Jack Mikesell), hired to take over the designing when Halston's partying keeps him from meeting deadlines; and Mark Benecke (Eli Perdue).  young designer with a drug problem soon eclipsed by Halston's. (Both real people.)

Halston: An interesting portrait of thoroughly unlikeable person. Halston itreats his staff like dirt.  He treats his business associates like dirt.  He treats his boyfriends like dirt.  He's egotistical, monomaniacal, narcissistic, rude, and...well, he has no redeeming qualities at all, except for his genius.

Fashion design again: Halston pulls out a dress and says "let's put this strap up here, and move this over there," and everyone gasps "Magnificent!  Incredible!  The greatest work of art since Michelangelo's David.  This will make revolutionize the fashion industry!"   They're not just fawning to avoid being yelled at -- they really believe that the changes have produced a masterpiece.  Personally, I can't tell the difference, but I'll take their word for it.

The Songs: Krysta Rodriguez ws excellent as Liza Minelli, singing snippets of "Liza with a Z" and  "Bonjour Paris,"  But we never get to hear the whole song.  I'd rather watch Rodriguez doing a full-length Liza Minelli homage. Or better yet, stream Cabaret.

My Grade: B-

See also: Nude Photos of Ewan McGregor

"Cruella": Everybody is Queer in the Iconic Character's Origin Story

In One Hundred and One Dalmatians (novel 1956, Disney animated movie 1961), Cruella DeVille is an evil fashion designer who kidnaps the 15 Dalmatian puppies belonging to the sentient dogs Pongo and Perdita, with the intention of using their fur for a coat.  In the 2021 recast Cruella, she has no such intention.  She rather likes dogs; in fact, she has two of them in her gang.

After her mother is murdered, Estella (Emma Stone) grows up on the streets of London in the Swinging Sixties and Glam Seventies, stealing and grifting with her gang, Jasper (Joel Fry, below), Horace (Paul Walter Hauser), and two non-sentient but very accomplished dogs.  But she dreams of becoming a fashion designer, so she cons her way into working at a posh department store, and then is hired by fashion superstar the Baroness (pictured: Kayvan Novak as her lawyer, Roger)

The movie then turns into The Devil Wears Prada, with the Baroness channeling Meryl Streep's Miranda Priestly, except far more evil.  She terrorizes employees -- well, actually everyone -- while stealing their ideas.  She has committed murder to get what she wants.  

To get revenge on the Baroness, Estella becomes Cruella, a vigilante fashion designer who bursts into the Baroness's shows and benefits with radical, headline-getting outfits: "The Baroness is the past.  I am the future."   

Other than upstaging the Baroness, Cruella's chief goal is to steal back a necklace that the Baroness stole from her mother, which happens to contain the key to a big reveal.

She teams up with the gender-bending designer Artie (John McCrea), who is "openly gay" (the first character written as gay in a live-action Disney movie, but he doesn't do anything gay except be fabulous).  Plus Jasper and Horace, who disapprove of Cruella ordering them around; they liked it when everyone was equal.

Eventually Estella/Cruella finds a happy medium, becoming an effervescent, unhinged Harley Quinn.

 She does kidnap the three Dalmatians that the Baroness uses as guard dogs, but only because one of them has swallowed the necklace, and she is waiting for it to reappear.  But she treats them well; in the end they prefer her over the Baroness.

Anita and Roger, who in the novel and various movies own the dogs, have been transformed into a newspaper gossip columnist and lawyer, respectively, who don't know each other.   During the closing credits, Cruella gives them each a Dalmatian puppy.  Presumably they will marry, and the events of 101 Dalmatians will begin.  

Beefcake:  None, but there are several hunks in the cast.

Other Sights: Lots of mansions.  The Baroness's estate, Hellman Hall (which Cruella christens Hell Hall) is actually Englefield House in Reading, England.

Soundtrack: Interesting, albeit a bit obtrusive at times.  Does every movie set in the Sixties have to play "Time of the Season"? 

Continuity:  While there are hints that 101 Dalmatians is coming up, this Cruella does not seem capable of killing puppies. 

Heterosexism: None.  No one expresses any heterosexual interest anywhere in the film.  Estella doesn't even flirt with men to distract them during a grift.

Gay Characters:  No one expresses any same-sex interest, either.   Although they've been together for over 10 years and have no intention of ever separating, Horace and Jasper do not appear to be romantic partners.  There's no closeness, no physicality, no intimacy.

I expected Artie and Horace to hook up: first Horace says "I like him," and then, the two work together to subdue a security guard. But they have no other interaction.

Everybody is queer, but no one wants a boyfriend or girlfriend.

My Grade: B+