Apparently the success of Heated Rivalry has started a trend. Producers thought, "Ok, viewers want to see more hockey players," not "viewers want to see more gay romance," so we're getting a lot of hockey player hetero romance. I'm watching Off Campus (2026), on Amazon Prime, in spite of the annoying commercial breaks, in case there's a gay character -- or some dicks.
Scene 1:Hockey Star Garrett (Belmont Cameli, left) puts on his uniform, listens to "Dancing By Myself," and practices, while Hannah does janitorial work, listening to the same song.
Finished, he takes off his shirt -- the tattoo says Nullum Gratuitum Prandium, "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch," which presumably will become important later. He langorously showers. Hannah, wearing headphones, can't hear the shower, and accidentally sees his backside -- and his front, when he turns around. She hurriedly exits, grinnng.
Belmont states in an interview, "Obviously I'm being sexualized to some extent, but I never felt exploited."
Scene 2: 90% of viewers tune in to see Cameli's backside (and hopefully front), so they got it out of the way. Now we can get on to the plot. At a hoity-toity university, the philosophy professor explains to the class that C means C, so 70% of the students got C+ or lower on their papers. Hannah's gay bff Dexter (Miles Gutierrez-Riley, the boyfriend on
Agatha All Along) complains that it's a jock class, so why should he bother?
Philosophy is a jock class?Jock Beau (Khobe Maxwell, who played a gay guy in Cruel Intentions), looks at his grade and wonders if he can still drop the class. His bro, Garrett from Scene 1, points out that they need it for their major, but not to worry, the coach will talk to the prof about "creative grading."
When I was an undergrad, every student had to take a philosophy class. I took "Modern Philosophy." assuming that it would be, like, modern. Nope, it was about Kant, Hume, and Berkeley (pronounced Barkeley; that's the only thing I remember from the class).
BFF Dexter gawks at them: "Jocks -- so pretty, so entitled."
"Aren't you above stereotypes?"
"Girl, I'm beneath stereotypes." He takes another look at Beau. "Maybe behind." This will become important for shipping later.
Hannah got an A, but tells BFF Dexter that her grade was "not good." Hockey Star Garrett looks over her shoulder and exclaims "You aced it!" This angers Hannah, for some reason. You forgot to complain that "He's arrogant!"
Scene 3: On the way out, BFF Dexter points out bad-boy music major Justin Kohl (Josh Heuston, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), Hannah's crush Their third friend joins them and asked if Hannah has made a move yet. "He doesn't know who I am. Am I supposed to fling myself at him?" "Yes!!!"
Hockey Star Garrett joins them. After they criticize him for being rich and goodlooking, he tells Hannah that he's failing the class, and wants her help on the next assignment, n oral presentation. "Nope." Why not? Just because he's arrogant?
"But you owe me for the sneak peek. Tons of girls would have paid for that view." What about guys, heteronormative jerk?
Scene 4: Hannah leaves them to bike across the campus of Briar University (actually the University of British Columbia). She stops at Kaufman Center, where Professor Daveed (Brandon Scott, left), is conducting the student orchestra. He glares at her for being late.
After class tells her that her scholarship for the year has been cut. Not because she was late, because the government thinks that the fine arts are useless.
"But this is the third week of the semester! My only hope of staying in school is to get another scholarship!"
There aren't any other classical music composition scholarships, but what if she changes her major to performance? Nope, she's a lousy clarinet player.
So what about pop music composition? Lots of scholarships there, given out at the Pop Music Showcase
"I can write pop music. How hard can it be?" Famous last words.
Scene 5: The frat house. The guys, Tucker, Dean, and Logan (Jalen Thomas Brooks, Stephen Kalyn, Antonio Cipriano) are bickering as they prepare for the party tonight. There are shirtless shots and discussions of cooking.
Hockey Star Garrett comes in later, when the party is already going on. Tucker is cooking "dippables." Dean is kissing a girl. Other party guests are playing video games and...chess? I thought frat parties were all beer pong and hetero bedroom stuff.
They criticize Hockey Star Garrett's taste in music -- it's old-fashioned, from the 1990s. So he's a pop music fan. Maybe he and Hannah can help each other.
Meanwhile, at Malone's, Bad Boy Justin and his band are performing, while Hannah, working the bar, is having a fantasy about him. Her friend asks what she's going to compose for the Pop Showcase: "Taylor Swift or Lady Gaga?"
"I'm more Taylor."
"So be Taylor, and go talk to your crush, Bad Boy Justin."
He's singing "A little less talking, a little more 'touch me," which is basically what Olivia Newton John sang in "Physical," and Julie Andrews in My Fair Lady.
Never do I ever want to hear another word
There isn't one I haven't heard
Here we are together in what ought to be a dream
Say one more word and I'll scream
"Nope, I'm too scared."
"Ok, then. Everybody is going to the Block Party tomorrow. You can talk to him then." They have block parties at universities?
More after the break
Link to the n***de photos
