Who's the Boss

Many 1980s sitcoms had an anti-nuclear family
message.  Moms and dads were utterly inadequate at raising children; it took an outsider -- a college kid (Charles in Charge), a proper English butler (Mr. Belvedere), a white guy (Webster, Diff'rent Strokes) -- or a hunky working-class schmoo from Brooklyn.

Who's the Boss (1986-92) transformed Taxi hunk Tony Danza into Tony Micelli, housekeeper to uptight Angela Bower (Judith Light) and her blond waif son Jonathan (Danny Pintauro, previously Puck in A Midsummer Night's Dream).  Tony's daughter Sam (Alyssa Milano) and Angela's horny mother, Mona (Katherine Helmond) filled out the household.

Let's review: Tony Danza, who played a gay-positive character on Taxi and posed for the gay magazine In Touch. Judith Light, a tireless proponent of gay rights.  Gay ally Alyssa Milano. Katherine Helmond from the gay-positive sitcom Soap.  Sounds tailor-made for a gay-positive sitcom.

Nope.  No gay characters, no gay references.  At least Tony is cool with the kids' gender-transgressive interests; Sam's passion for basketball and Jonathan's for gymnastics. But the main plot arc involved everyone trying to set up Tony and Angela, who for some reason denied that they were attracted to each other.

Meanwhile everyone in the cast, including Jonathan, was busily falling for the wrong person, cheating on their partner, accepting and then rejecting marriage proposals, worrying about prom dates.

Fortunately, there was a lot of beefcake.  Angela kept stumbling across Tony in the shower or wearing only a towel. When Danny Pintauro became a flamboyant gay adolescent, he got some shirtless and semi-nude shots in teen magazines.













Sam had a series of hunky boyfriends, such as Jesse (Scott Bloom left, with brothers Brian and Mikey).  And the super-stud Billy Gallo had a recurring role as "Mr. Al."

In 1997, five years after the program ended, Danny Pintauro was outed in The National Enquirer.  His tv family was supportive, except for Tony, who later said "The Danny I knew died last year."  But in 2005, they reconciled enough for Danny to appear on Tony's talk show. They discussed their memories of Who's the Boss, but carefully avoided any mention of "it."

"Time Freak": Asa Butterfield and his Boyfriend Get Girlfriends

 

Time Freak (2018) stars Asa Butterfield as mild-mannered physics student Stillman, who is so obviously in love with his gay-subtext life partner Evan (Skyler Gisondo) that one wonders why he wants a girlfriend at all.  Oh, right, this is Hollywood.  Boy meets girl, and all that. 

Stillman is also in love with the Girl of His Dreams.  Problem: she just dumped him.  Does he man up and move on?  Stand outside her window with a boom box?  Nope, he and Evan build a time machine and go back to see where things went wrong. Dude, maybe you're just not compatible.

Maybe it was that double-date where you insulted the Girl's bffs (she has one of each, girl and gay guy).  So they relive the moment, and other similarly prescient moments, a bazillion times. Every argument, every mior disagreement has to be ironed out.   Wait -- he's basically conning this girl. How would you like it if someone kept re-arranging your life events without your permission?

Meanwhile, Evan meets the Girl of His Dreams and keeps using the time machine to redo every less-than-perfect moment.  Guess what?  They're all less than perfect.  

Stillman finally realizes that going back in time was a bad idea: people get hurt, they hurt others, life is life.  How profound!  He wants to destroy the time machine, but Evan wants to keep it.  They argue, break up, and reconcile.

They end up stuck in the past, having to relive the events that they've been playing all over again.  But if they let life happen and not worry about making it perfect, maybe they can relax and have fun.  Fade-out boy-girl kiss. Darn, I thought Stillman and Evan would finally recognize their love.

Beefcake: None. 

Heterosexism: A double-dose of 1980s teen nerd Girl of His Dreams.

Gay Characters:   Remember the Girl's gay bff, Ryan (Will Peltz)?  He gets a boyfriend, too, and he doesn't even have to use a time machine.

My grade: D.  

But there are nude photos of Asa Butterfield on the NSFW version of this review.

Adam Devine's House Party, Episode 3.1: Hawaii gets gay marriage. With bonus nude Hawaiian dudes.

I'm not a big fan of Adam Devine's House Party, the Comedy Central series spotlighting up-and-coming stand-up comedians.  The two episodes I've reviewed were heterosexist, promoting "all boys like girls and all girls like boys" rhetoric. It's like crashing a party where you weren't invited, so everyone pretends that you're invisible. Plus Adam's persona is authoritarian, self-aggrandizing, and unpleasant.  But he takes his shirt off.

One more try: in Season 3, the party moves to Hawaii, where there's bound to be some muscle guys in Speedos.  In Episode 3.1, Adam marries a dude! No way they can do that without mentioning LGBT people. 

Link to NSFW version

Scene 1: Adam announces that for tonight's episode, he is taking over a resort in Hawaii.  Mary the Hotel Manager says no, he can't, because the space is reserved for a wedding. He'll have to do it tomorrow.  Adam claims that he's the one who reserved the space: he'll be getting married on the show tonight.  Ok, but he'd better get married, or she'll unplug the show on the spot. 

Intro: Beach babe, Adam kissing a girl, accidentally pouring ketchup on his pants. running out of the surf, a disgusting closeup of a girl's bare butt.  Guest comedians: Chris Garcia, Jacob Williams, Megan Gailey

Scene 2: Afternoon.  Darn, everyone is fully clothed except for a big-boobed girl at the drink stand.  Adam reveals to the comedians that he has to get married tonight.  Chris is married already, so it's down to Jacob and Megan.   

The two go off by themselves to discuss it: Jacob is heterosexual, so he's not attracted to guys in general, and Megan is heterosexual but not attracted to Adam at all.  But he's rich, so being his partner might be fun. They call him back: "One of us will marry you.  But you're gonna have to woo us." They act like this will be a forever marriage.  Why not just have a pretend wedding? 

Scene 3: Chris Garcia riffs on how boring soccer is, Hispanic-American culture, and comics who make fun of how their parents talk.  

Scene 4: Jacob is excited about the wedding, and the honeymoon: he has booked them the bridal suite at the hotel.  Hey, bait and switch writers: when the comedians say "you'll have to woo us," there have to be unny bits where Adam tries to woo them. Ever hear of Chekhov's Gun?

 Adam reveals that he's decided on Megan because she's a girl, and, you know, he is into girls.  

Wait -- Manager Mary is watching, so they have to act like they're in love. They should kiss.

Adam recoils in disgust at the idea of kissing another dude. He's always hugging guys, pressing foreheads, grabbing butts, even on this show. Here he has a group massage with Jak Knight and Brandon Wardell.  But kissing is another matter entirely.  I would never kiss a girl, no matter what the script said.

Jacob suggests that they move their faces together as if they are kissing, and grab butts.  Mary is satisfied; "They're boyfriends."

Scene 5: Jacob riffs on having sex with his girlfriend, and finishing too soon. I fast-forwarded. 

Scene 6: Manager Mary wants to know where Adam's fiance is.  He shoves Jacob out of the way and explains that they are ex-boyfriends. It's hard to get over him -- "I love cock!"  -- but Adam is with Megan now. She won't kiss him, but Manager Mary is satisfied.

Scene 7: Megan riffs on being attracted to men in boat shoes and the problem of doing female-centered humor.

Scene 8: Blake is performing the Adam-Megan wedding.  When he asks if anyone objects, Jacob comes forward: "We're both heterosexual men, but I need money."  

Adam objects that if he marries Megan, he'll get to have sex, but she is disgusted by the idea, and backs out.  So it's Jacob.  

Blake: "It's freakin' sick (good), Dude.  Love rules. I now pronounce you man and another man, they're both men, men together." 

Jacob and Adam shake hands and walk into the crowd, Adam grimacing in disgust.  At that moment, the real couple arrives.  Manager Mary says "I knew something was up," and pulls the plug.  The end.

Beefcake: Only in the opening shots.

Gay Characters: Never.

My Grade:  This episode, which aired in March 2016, is a riff on same-sex marriage, which was legalized in Hawaii in October 2013, and everywhere in the U.S. in June 2015. Everyone is completely nonchalant about it, which is a plus, but how about having some real gay people at your party, Adam?  And lay off the graphic display of bikini babe butts. C.

Nude Hawaiian dudes on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Hometown Holiday: A Gay Subtext Where You Least Expect It

 Hometown Holiday (2018) is advertised on Netflix with two guys gazing shyly at each other.  The plot synopsis tells me that it's based on a Harlequin romance, and a turnaround of the usual Christmas romcom plot: instead of a driven Big City woman finding love with a small-town guy, it's a driven Big City guy finding love with a small town woman.  

But maybe the two guys gazing shyly at each other form a homoromantic subplot.  And according to IMDB, one of the stars is....ulp...Joseph Cannata.  

Excuse me, I need a moment,

IMDB Photos reveals more intel.  The two guys gazing shyly are Kevin McGarry and Bradley Hamilton.  Kiroh Peterkin gets married to Rebecca Lamarch.  There are two sisters.  I'm completely confused. I'll have to go through a scene-by-scene to determine if there's a gay subplot or subtext.

Scene 1:  Winter in the country. Frosty, snow covered roads.  A Hunky Singer named Wes Gently  (Kevin McGarry, left, but with longer hair and a cowboy scruff) is practicing a song about lost love and "time to try again."  Holy foreshadowing, Batman!  His kid records him. Must be a dead wife back there somewhere.

Scene 2: New Year's Eve.  An elegant party full of beautiful people.  Racial diversity.  No gay couples that I can see. .  Two sisters, Blond and Brunette, complain that the holidays are almost over (I usually say Thank God!). They've both just broken up with boyfriends -- too boring, too old (31!), and they're running a business, Forever Flowers. 

Scene 3: Labor Day.  A lot of closeups of flowers, and an aerial shot of Los Angeles. Driven Agent (Bradley Hamilton, left) walks into a glass-and-steel building and watches Hunky Singer from Scene 1 on his computer.  Turns out that he was just an ordinary rancher singing a song to his dead wife, when his kid recorded him and uploaded the  video to the internet, and it became a smash hit.  Driven Agent is going to offer him "the full deal": records, endorsements, talk shows.  Based on one song?

So the guys gazing are Driven Agent and Hunky Singer

Wes Gently happens to live in the same (unnamed) town as Driven Agent's pregnant sister, so he'll combine a visit with a contract offer.

So the guys gazing are Driven Agent from the Big City and small-town Hunky Singer.  But if they find love with each other, who will the sisters hook up with?

Scene 4: The iconic small town.  While Blonde sits on the porch, Brunette throws out her lying, good-for-nothing, cheating airplane pilot boyfriend -- a shirtless Joseph Cannata!  Sigh!

Ok, that's all the Big City guys for Brunette!  They're all lying, cheating scumbags.  Only small town guys from here on!  So she's getting Driven Agent from the Big City -- no, wait, that's her brother. 

 .  Meanwhile, Blonde sings the Wes Gently song she heard on the internet.  "I like that song," she explains.  "Are you sure you don't like the guy?"  So she's getting Hunky Singer. Who's Drven Agent going to get?  And who is the woman  marrying Kiroh Peterkin?

Scene 5:  The sisters arranging the flowers for a country wedding held in a barn.  Closeups of wheat fields and cows as Driven Agent approaches the Small Town.  He greets Brunette and her husband Darryl (Stephen Huszar, sigh).  "I've come to visit my wonderful sister and her perfect husband."

Darryl grins at him.  Are they sharing a moment?

They invite him to a wedding -- he doesn't know the bride or the groom, but who cares?  Hunky Singer will be there. This clears up the mystery of Kiroh Peterkin -- he's the groom in the wedding they all go to.

"But you can't wear a suit to a country wedding," Darryl says.  "Here, come up to the bedroom, and you can borrow my second-cleanest lumberjack shirt."  They don't take their shirts off on camera, but still, it's a homoerotic moment.

Driven Agent's girlfriend calls.  Ok, he's got a girlfriend back home, so he doesn't get anybody.

No need to continue the scene by scene.  I'll just go through on fast-forward to see if there are any gay subtexts amid the heterosexual shenanigans.

Minute 17: Driven  Agent approaches Hunky Singer about the contract.  He's not interested.  Shucks, he'd have to leave his small town and move to the...shudder...Big City!   A girl comes up and flirts with Driven Agent.  I guess he'll hook up after all.

Minute 40:  Driven Agent has to pretend to be small-town for some reason, so Darryl gives him some tips: take off your hat when you enter a house, say "yes ma'am," and never complain about anything except Big Cities.  He tests him with the job of chopping wood, and says "You're starting to grow on me."  Another homoerotic moment!

They go into the Christmas party.  Darryl touches Driven Agent's chest and puts his arm around him. But you're married to his sister!  Drama!

Who Hooks Up with Whom: Hunky Singer gets Blonde (and signs the contract).  Driven Agent gets Brunette (wait -- that's his pregnant sister.  Another brunette woman lookalike must have appeared out of nowhere).  He decides to stay in the country with her...and his actual sisters..and Darryl.  A subtext where you least expect it.