Raising Arizona: Nicolas Cage bulges, John Goodman is nearly gay, and there's screaming, screeching, and heterosexism

 

Last night for movie night we saw Raising Arizona (1987).  I never saw it before, assuming that it was some smarm about a guy helping his girlfriend raise her daughter (named Arizona).  No, the title is a misdirection: no one is raised, and Arizona is, for some reason, the last name of the family and the state they live in (although they speak with Deep South accents).

The plot: Small-time robber H.I. McDonnough (Nicolas Cage) keeps getting arrested and sent to prison, but there are no bullets in his gun, so his sentences are only a few months long.  He falls in love with Ed, the cop who keeps taking his mug shots (don't get excited, it's a lady, played by Holly Hunter).  After his latest release, he finds a regular job, she quits the police force,  and they get married and move into his horrible house trailer in the desert outside Tempe, Arizona.  

He's achieved the heterosexist trajectory of job, house, wife, and...uh-oh, he still needs kids, and Ed is "barren."

Idea: Wealthy furniture store owner Nathan Arizona (Trey Wilson) and his wife have just had five babies, the Arizona Quints.  No one can handle that many, so why couldn't Hi and Ed take one off their hands?  It would be doing them a favor.

They kidnap "the best" of the group, Nathan Jr. (played by TJ Kuhn, who didn't want to be an actor.  He's now a real estate agent.)

Meanwhile, brothers Gale and Evelle (John Goodman, William Forsythe) break out of prison and impose upon HI and Ed.  They kidnap the baby for a reason I don't remember (either to return him to his parents for the reward,  or to force HI to join them in a bank robbery).  But they grow attached, and decide to raise Nathan Jr. on their own.

Hi has a vision of a a scary, motorcycle-riding bounty hunter (Randall Cobb), who throws hand grenades at squirrels.  He turns out to be real, and offers to find the boy for the reward money. Nathan Senior rejects him, but he tracks Hi/Ed and Gale/Evelle down anyway.

After many chases, robberies, gun fights, and "leaving the baby behind", everything works out: the bounty hunter is exploded, Gale and Evelle return to prison, and Hi/Ed return the baby.  Nathan Senior doesn't press charges, because "there was no harm done."  Except putting him and his wife through several days of worry?

Beefcake:  Nicolas Cage is shirtless a lot, with a hairy chest that I haven't seen in his other movies, and there's a lot of attention paid to his bulge.

There are some cute cops and FBI agents in the background.

More after the break

"Big Mistakes": Dan Levy as a gay Christian pastor with a secret boyfriend and a crazy sister. With Patrick and Pacheco n*de

Link to the n*de photos

We all remember Dan Levy as the befuddled fashion plate David Rose on Schitt's Creek (2015-20), whose sweet, cozy romance with newly out Patrick (Noah Reed) culminated with their wedding.  (I put Noah up after the break to refresh your memory.)

Next up: Big Mistakes (2026), with Dan the creator, writer, and star.  Of course I'm going to watch.

Scene 1: Nicky (Dan) and his sister Morgan (Taylor Ortega) at the nursing home, sitting there looking foolish while Mom (Laurie Metcalf) rushes around,  arranging a birthday party for dying Grandma and managing her mayoral campaign.  Their Competent Sister is helping. 

Grandma wants a diamond necklace for her dying birthday present, but Mom knows that they're losers, so just bring something cheap and nostalgic to brighten her last moments.

Scene 2:  Nicky is preaching in a large church that's mostly empty.  The end of his sermon: don't be overcome by the smoke from the bridges you burned.  That makes no sense.  There are crucifixes in the nursing home but not here, so I'm guessing that Nicky is Protestant while the rest of the family is Catholic.

Update: It's the Glenview Community Church, nondenominational Protestant, probably in the congregational tradition.

The service ends, and he returns to the parsonage and kisses his boyfriend.  

In a later episode, Nicky has a boyfriend named Tareq (Jacob Gutierrez, left), but I'm not sure if this is Tareq, or he appears later.  

Uh-oh, a parshioner walks in -- hide!  Are you closeted, Mr. Minister?  

As he gets dressed and prepares to leave, Boyfriend rubs it in: "I'm being honored by Out and Loud next week for the work that I do."  Being Out -- every heard of it?

Nicky explains that the church is ok with gay clergy, but frowns on them doing gay stuff.  Why would you even accept a job at a church that doesn't accept LGBTQ people?  What about the LGBTQ youth in your congregation?  You're promoting the belief that God hates them.

He promises that as soon as Mom's mayoral campaign is done, he'll find a new congregation where gay relationships are ok.

Scene 3:  Sister Morgan has relationship problems, too.  As he drops her off at the elementary school, Boyfriend Max (Jack Innanen, b*lge on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) wants a long, mouth-swallowing kiss, but she breaks away -- kids are watching.  "Why do you always back away from my touch?"  Because kids are watching?

They argue, and he throws an engagement ring at her.  She is ok with it, but she wants a proper proposal.

Scene 4: The siblings head into the QuickPost to find a cheap present for Grandma.  The clerk, Yusuf (Boran Kuzum, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends), keeps staring at Morgan.  Is he into her, or planning something nefarious?

Sister Morgan has her eye on a faux-pearl necklce in a case, but he won't sell it to her: "It's for display only." 

 When she pushes, he becomes aggressive: "Just leave it alone."   Must be real and stolen, or maybe full of heroin.

While they are arguing, Mom calls.  Grandma died.

Scene 5:  At the nursing home, Mom lambasts them for delaying with the gift, so they missed Grandma's last words: "My gloves are new."

Competent Daughter: "I think it was 'I love you.'"

Mom scoffs.  "No, it couldn't have been that."

Morgan wants to know what they're supposed to do with the gifts now.  That's your reaction to your grandmother's death?  She pulls out the faux-pearl necklace!  "I took care of it," she tells Nicky.

You stole it?  Why didn't you just choose something else?

Mom insists that Nicky put the necklace around Grandma's neck, and take some photos to post on social media.  Uh-oh, the bad guys will see it.

More after the break.