My 20 Coming Out Movies, from "Bomba the Jungle Boy" to "American Gigolo." With a surprising number of n*de dudes.

 In the Nazarene Church, going to a movie theater was a serious sin, so I only went two or three times before high school, when I started sneaking out to the Showcase Cinemas in the next town.  But I saw a lot of movies on tv, and some had some gay-vague characters, buddy-bonding subtexts, or beefcake that told me "The adults are lying, only real is real."   

These are my top 20 coming out movies, arranged by premiere date. I may have seen them a few years later.

1. Bomba the Jungle Boy  (1949-54). The former Tarzan's Boy always got a girlfriend and never buddy bonded with anyone, but who paid attention to the plot?

Can I play with your spear?

2. The Magic Sword (1962). A bizarre, gruesome plot with a heterosexist ending, but it was worth it to see a shirtless Gary Lockwood tied up and fondled.

3. Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964).  Paul Mantee crash lands on Mars, rescues a muscular alien from slavers, and the gay-subtext romance is amazing.

We'll put the guest bath over there, and over by the foyer...

4. Viva La Vegas (1964).  Elvis and Cesare Danova find each other.

There's a thousand hot dudes waitin' out there
And they're all livin' devil may care
And I'm just the devil with a p*enis to spare
So Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas

5. Kilroy was Here (1965). In a three-movie series, Warren Berlinger saves small-town Wilton Junction, gets a boyfriend, and succumbs to hetero destiny.

6. Village of the Giants (1965).  Dreamy Tommy Kirk and his friends (including Beau Bridges and Tim Rooney, right) magically turn into giants and dance in beefcake-heavy togas.

"So, if we're thirty feet tall, that means that six inches turns into..."

7. The Secret of Boyne Castle (1969)  Kurt Russell as an exchange student in Ireland runs afoul of spies, and flees through the countryside with bystander Patrick Dawson.  At one point, they smile at each other.  That smile changes the world.

8. The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969).  College boy Kurt Russell (sigh) gets zapped by lightning and turns into a human computer.  He is kidnapped and rescued by his friends (Michael McGreevy and Lassie boy Jon Provost).  I don't remember a Girl of His Dreams.

9. The Cube (1969). Richard Schack is trapped in a square. windowless room.  Other people come in to taunt or advise him, but he can't escape until he realizes that nothing is real. 

10. If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium (1969). Wacky American tourists in Europe, with Luke Halpin (top photo) as a hippie and Ian McShane as the world-weary tour gude.  There are some queer codes, but mostly it's about escape.

More after the break

The Lost Bus: Why did my partner choose this verkockten angst-fest for Movie Night? With McConaughey cock, ten hunks, and "Que sera, sera"

Link to the n*de photos 

This week my partner Bob chose the movie for Movie Night, while I was still in the kitchen putting artichoke hearts on my salad: The Lost Bus (2025).  I didn't even get a chance to read the description, but we almost always watch science fiction, fantasy, or horror, anything paranormal, so I figured the bus would be lost on a creepypasta highway that never ends. 

Scene 1: The horribly run-down, drought-ridden town of Paradise in northern California.   Matthew McConaughey, the hunkoid we recall from Dazed and Confused, Angels in the Outfield, and Boys on the Side, is almost unrecognizable as a grizzled, depressed school bus driver.  He drops off kids at their houses. There are only six left.  Then three.  Then none.

"Wait -- is he going to get lost on the never-ending highway by himself?"  I asked.

"This isn't a paranormal movie."

No paranormal?  Well, that's ok.  Sometimes we watch comedies -- but this is definitely not a comedy.  Or mysteries, if there's a gay character.  So Matt's character is gay, and an amateur sleuth.  

Scene 2: The extremely depressed Matt finishes his run, parks the bus at the bus yard, and asks the dispatcher for an extra shift.

Matt's backside is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends. He shows his d*ck on-screen two or three times (as in The Lincoln Lawyer, below), but it's too small to make out much.

"Sorry, but drivers with seniority get the first choice of the extra shifts, and you've only worked here for five minutes."

"But I'm desperately poor, and I have several dying relatives who need medicine!" 

"Everybody who works here is desperately poor and has dying relatives.  Next!"

Fuming with rage over the "injustice," Matt storms out, gets into his beat-up car, and zooms down the country roads.

This doesn't feel right.  I put it on pause.  "So the dispatcher is going to be murdered, with Matt the prime suspect?"

"This isn't a murder mystery," Bob said.

And Matt's character is pure redneck.  There are redneck gay men in real life, but in movies they all live in Manhattan and own twelve pairs of shoes.

Not a mystery, not a comedy, no paranormal, no gay character. WTF... 

"Tell me he's not going to kidnap the kids.  I don't do movies about kidnapped kids, crying and holding teddy bears.  I was traumatized by the kidnapped boy whose Mom was singing "Que sera, sera" I can't even hear that song without screaming.  Let's watch something else."

Left: The boy was Christopher Olsen, in The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956).  I saw the scene while my parents were watching it on tv.

"There's no crime in the movie," Bob told me.  "It's a thriller. Number #1 on Apple Plus this week."  He took it off pause.

Scene 3: Matt the Straight Redneck arrives at his run-down dirt farm.  His dog greets him weakly.  He gets a call saying that the cancer has spread, and "It's time."

"Ok, that's it!" I exclaimed.  "I definitely don't do dogs dying of cancer movies.  Turn the darn thing off, now!"

While we were watching something else,  I looked up a plot synopsis: the desperately poor, dying dog, fuming over injustice stuff is a misdirection (also the disabled mom and sick son that we hadn't gotten to yet).  Matt is going to be heroic, saving a busload of kids and The Girl (America Ferreira) from a forest fire.  

"I just read a plot synopsis," I told Bob.  "It sounds awful.  Why did you choose that movie, anyway?"

He shrugged. "It sounded good, and Matthew McConaughey is hot." 

Beefcake is a legitimate reason to watch a movie, but I checked -- Matt is so busy dealing with dying loved ones and saving terrified children that he doesn't have time to take off his shirt.

No one else does, but I'm going to look for beefcake and nude photos of the top ten hunks of this verkockten movie.

1. Matt.

2. His 18 year old son Levi, making his screen debut as Matt the Straight Redneck's estranged, sick son.

Levi is probably gay, but he has no other acting credits, so I can't look for gay characcters, and as of this writing he's only been 18 for a few weeks, so I can't look for nude photos. 

More after the break.

The 20 TV shows that we watched in West Hollywood: a gay brother, some "confused" guys, squabbling drag queens, Seinfeld, and Mario Lopez (sigh)

I lived in the heart of the Gay World, West Hollywood, San Francisco, and the East Village, from 1985 to 2001.  There wasn't much time for television, with our part time jobs, classes, AIDS volunteer activities, church activities, and endless nights of cruising, but a few shows were not to be missed.  They had strong gay subtexts, actual gay characters, or lots of muscular men.

1. The Golden Girls. Everybody watched the Girls before heading out to the bars on Saturday night, but you had to be careful.  Usually they were relatively gay-friendly, but suddenly, without warning, Blanche would reject her gay brother, or Rose would be horrified to discover that lesbians exist.

2. Mama's Family.   Another pre-bar show, with Vickie Lawrence as the elderly, crotchety Mama, Ken Berry as her dimwitted son, and Allan Kayser as her grandson, cast for obvious reasons.

3. Brothers.  We had to go to a friend's house to watch this Showtime sitcom about three grown-up brothers, two macho, grunting types, and one gay.

4. Dynasty.  Squabbling rich ladies with drag queen hair, some beefcake,  and a "confused" guy who veers between gay and straight.

5. Murder, She Wrote.   My friend Alan forced me to watch Jessica Fletcher solve murders every Sunday night.  One episode had a gay-light character: a fellow mystery writer whose whodunits are filled with "Greek boys mincing about."

6. Pee-Wee's Playhouse.  Man-child Pee-Wee has hunky and drag queen friends, plus a genie who lives in a jewelry box. "Swish?  Did somebody say swish?"

7. Saved by the Bell.  Saturday morning teencom with Mario Lopez taking his shirt off.  'Nuff said.

8. Married...with Children.  A raunchy send-up of the heterosexual nuclear family, with occasional only-slightly-homophobic references.  Ed O'Neill would go on to play the patriarch of Modern Family, and David Faustino would bulk up and become a gay ally.

9. Eerie, Indiana.  I dig shows about quirky small towns, and Omri Katz, who would go on to star in gay films, had a gay-subtext buddy-bond with fellow paranormal investigator Justin Shenkarow.

10.  Mystery Science Theater 3000: Joel and the Bots riffed on cheesy movies every Saturday morning, and all day on Thanksgiving.

More after the break

The 20 Gayest TV Programs of My Childhood

 

These are the tv shows that helped me figure it out in the silence of my childhood and teen years (roughly 1965 to 1978), through gay-vague characters, buddy-bonding subtexts, queer codes, or beefcake.

1. Gilligan's Island.  None of the male castaways displayed the slightest interest in girls, Gilligan and the Skipper were obviously boyfriends, and there was a lot of beefcake.

2. The Beverly Hillbillies.  Jethro Bodine (sigh) plus a lot of Hollywood heartthrobs who weren't particularly into girls, and the nearly-out lesbian Miss Jane.

3. Dark Shadows.  I ran across the schoolyard every day to catch the last 10-15 minutes of the Gothic soap opera, with Willie Loomis in love with the vampire Barnabas.

4. Run, Buddy, Run.  Buddy is on the run from the mob after he overhears them discussing...um...in the steam room...um...sorry, I was distracted by Buddy's chest.

5. Bewitched.  Samantha gave up the witch world for suburban heteronormativity, but she couldn't suppress her queer desires forever.  Plus a gay-in-plain-sight Uncle Arthur.

 6. H.R. Pufnstuf.  The Dragon and the Witch fight for control of Jimmy's...um...flute.  But there's really no question: he likes dudes.

7. The Mighty Hercules.  "Softness in his eyes, iron in his thighs."  That's still the way I like my men.

8. Lost in Space.  Every other boy on the block wanted to be Will Robinson.  I wanted to date him.

9. Star Trek, the Original Series.  I swear, I remember Sulu (top photo) and Chekhov sharing a room.

10. Spin and Marty.  The summer camp boyfriends aired during the 1950s, but I saw them in after-school reruns during the 1970s.

More after the break

My 16 favorite Gemstone d*cks, displayed on the show or off

The Righteous Gemstones was unique in its enthusiastic portrayal of men's frontsides, in nearly every episode. Plus a number of the actors who didn't get a chance to show their stuff on the show have obligingly posted pictures on the internet.  Here are my favorites, some huge, some not, but all a pleasure to watch.

Link to the uncensored list

1. Stephen Schneider (left) as Stephen had an affair with Judy Gemstone in Season 3.  Her husband BJ burst into his house, and fought him to reclaim his manhood. The actor was offered a prosthetic, but he wanted to perform with au naturel.  I can see why.

2. Blair Jackson played the boyfriend of Dot Nancy, whom Kelvin Gemstone is trying to draw away from Satan, in Season 1.  Off-camera, he has shown us his stuff.

3. Walton Goggins.  In our first view of the elderly grifter Baby Billy, he stands up in his bathtub to reveal superheroic proportions.  It re-appeared so often in Season 4 that even gay male viewers got tired of it.

4. Stephen Dorf,  who played the nasty, homophobic, and probably gay megachurch pastor Vance Simkins, goes big in a movie from 2005.. 

5. Jak Kriskowski appeared in a scene where Pontius enrolls in military school.  His scene was cut, but Jak joined the army in real life, and has given us a peek..

6, Kelton Dumont, as wild child Pontius Gemstone, was caught with girlfriend and jumped up and tried to hide it. After a lot of photo manipulation, you still can't see much, but I found a few other possibilities.

7. Adam Devine: To our disappointment, Kelvin Gemstone showed his backside quite often, but never his front. Probably because the dude is canonically small, and the actor is obviously not. We've seen it several times in his movies.

8. Cullen Moss as the security guard hot for Gideon's boyfriend Scotty.  He is on display in a 2021 movie.

More after the break.  

The 18 biggest, hottest, or most surprising d*cks of the musclemen and bodybuilders from Arnold to Slab, with bonus Brian

Link to the n*de photos

I've dated/hooked up with a few musclemen, and seen lots more at the gym, at my old job as an editorial assistant (actually gopher) at Muscle and Fitness, and in various backrooms, darkrooms, saunas, and bear parties.  To be honest, their pecs are usually more impressive than their packages.  It's as if the universe allows you to be massive in one place or another, but not both.  But there are exceptions, and besides, what's wrong with having a small one?  It gets the job done just as effectively as a big one.

Here are 18 bodybuilder/musclemen whose d*cks are extraordinary due to their size, the guy's hotness, or the surprise of seeing it on screen or in a video.  

1.`. Arnold Schwarzeneggar.    Everything starts with Arnold, who moved bodybuilding from a  subculture into the mainstream and opened the way for dozens of man-mountains to grunt and flex as they saved the world (or just America).  I saw several n*de photos in a friend's apartment in the 1980s, but 40 years later I can only find one online.

2. Peter Berlin (top photo).  You could argue that That Boy almost single-handedly changed depictions of gay stuff from sordid, furtive and guilt-ridden to bright and joyful.  

3. Angel Mock Curiel: After playing L'il Papi on Pose, the gay and trans ally vanished into civilian life.  But not before he posted some n*de photos.

4. Nate Stone (left).  I had to research a dozen Nate Stones before finding the former Bunk'd hunk, having a friend photograph him in his parents' house.  Points for the obscurity and the chutzpah.

5. Bridger Buckley.  I'm not sure that the Hot Pizza Guy from The Neighborhood really belongs to the anonymous donkey-stuff, but how could I not post it? 

6. Tony Cavalero has bulked up considerably since his days as Keefe on The Righteous Gemstones, but he hasn't posted any new shots, so all we have is the isolation tank d*ck in Episode 1.9.

7. Brock O'Hurn.  Torsten from The Righteous Gemstones, Zeus, Hulk Hogan, Super Hot Warrior Man who displayed his massive salami on Euphoria.  Are you tired of seeing it by now?  

I didn't think so. 

8. Bill Cable.  The guy posed in Drummer and Playgirl, dated both Pee-Wee Herman and Elvira, Mistress of the Night, buddied with Christian Brando, and appeared in Basic Instinct with Michael Douglas.  Actually, name anyone famous in the 1980s, and he was there.

9. Sylvester Stallone.  In the 1990s, it was shocking to discover that the grunting, scowling Rocky and Rambo made an adult movie in his early days.  It was also shocking to see his backside in Tango and Cash (1989).

More after the break

10. Leon Mallett: The East Anglia Boy went all the way in an adult, which for some reason fans didn't like. 

11. Steve Bond.  If all you knew of Steve Bond was the skinny kid in Tarzan and the Jungle Boy (1968), e, and you picked up a Playgirl magazine in 1975 to find him all grown up, you'd be shocked, too.

12. Blair Jackson, from the "Wicked Lips" episode of The Righteous Gemstones, offers us every potential d*ck shots, from the huge to the not-so-huge.

13. Dan Cudmore.  The guy has been all over Marvel and DC tv series, playing man-mountain gods and villains and showing his stuff.

14. Derek Yates.  The Smiley-Face Emoji Guy from How I Met Your Father has many n*de photos online.  He may be more famous for his d*ck than for his acting.

15. Ryan Potter.  The bi Supah Ninja and Beast Boy only gives us a faceless video, but he's Asian, and he's got a big one, so who's complaining?

16. Marcus Adair:  You saw him for about 30 seconds on The Righteous Gemstones, playing one of the mercenaries hired to take out the Cycle Ninjas who kept attacking the family.  Fortunately, he offered us a closer look.

17. Pete Hinwood.  A deltoid and a bicep, a hot groin and a tricep, makes me shake.  Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...hand. 

18. Kurt Ostland: Slab from the Disney Channel's Mr. Young has grown up, bulked up, and shown us some j/o photos.

Honorable mention: Brian Cage, left, one of the demi-god wrestlers of Disclosure Day.  I just posted a profile of him and his fellow demi-god, Lance Hoyt, two days ago, so I'm not sure if there will be enough pageviews to keep him or not.

18 teen idols who grew up to appear n*de on screen or post d*ck pics for fans. Caution: some are homophobic

 

Link to the n*de photos

You crushed on him when you were a kid or a young teen, when you dreamed of nothing more intimate than touching his hand. Then you grew up and moved on to other loves and other fantasies, and he grew up and moved on...to what?   Does he have boyfriends and lovers?  Is he straight but an ally?  Or has he sunk into the slough of homophobic hatred? And, just as important, will he give his old and new fans a glimpse of his beneath-the-belt gifts?

Here are 18 child and teen stars whose grown-up d*cks have appeared online, in movies, in photos or videos uploaded for fans, or occasionally through leaks.  I'll also accept photos/videos that may or may not be "really" him, if the face and physique are close enough.  Even a well done artist's interpretation is fine. After all, seeing a d*ck is always better than not seeing a d*ck      

 1. Michael Seater (top photo). The buddy-bonding paranormal investigator went on to "girls! girls! girls!" movies, but is queer in real life and posts several pics.

2. Giovanni Ribisi.  He was cute as Phoebe's brother on Friends.  Then he starred in a series of depressing art-house movies, but at least he gets n*ked on camera.

3. Dan Benson.  (left) Justin's gay-vague buddy on The Wizards of Waverly Place has found a new career, showing his stuff and reviewing adult products on OnlyFans.

4. Shane Harper.   From Good Luck Charlie to Christian movies, but he shows us his d*ck anyway.

5. Willie Aames (left) . Scott Baio's buddy (named Buddy) on Charles in Charge swam n*ked in a Blue Lagoon rip-off called Paradise, before he transformed into the gnarly, dessicated, and fundamentalist Bibleman.

6. Jake Thomas (left).  Lizzie McGuire's bratty little brother and the snobbish Stickler on Corey in the House has posted a video that never shows his face. 

7. Gavin MacIntosh.  Connor, the gay kid on The Fosters, grew up to post so many photos that it took two profiles to show you the highlights.

8. Drake Bell.  In 2022, the Drake and Josh schemer revealed thatabuse from a staff member ruined the show for him and has scarred him for life.  I still posted the photos from the videos he made a couple years ago, but they make me sad.  Maybe you'd rather see his costar Josh Peck's backside.

9. Atticus Mitchell.  My Babysitter's a Vampire, Stonewall, "now I can be who I am," but who is he?  He has several n*de photos online, but he still won't come out.

More after the break.  

The 18 biggest, hottest, or most surprising d*cks of the handsome/h*ng actors, from the Nip/Tuck fratboy to the Headless Ghost

Link to the n*de photos.

Why do you read a profile of an actor who has appeared only in shows that you never watch and movies that you've never heard of?  Why do I research him?  Sure, it's fun to check out his acting projects for gay representation, and his social media for evidence that he is gay.  Sometimes there are other interesting things to learn about, like the Welsh language, Russian science fiction, or the scheduled tribes of India. But I really want to see his d*ck.

It may be displayed during a show, on social media, on hookup sites, or leaked.  It may not precisely belong to him, but the face and physique are close enough.  I'm even down with a very well done artist's interpretation.  

Most of the handsome/hung actors (everyone but teen idols and bodybuilders) have d*ck pics in their profiles, but some are unforgettable.  Here are my 18 favorites.

1. Aaron Moody.  It took a lot of research to figure out which Aaron Moody had 11 inches.  Turns out that it's not the Nip/Tuck fratboy who got his face superglued to his buddy's backside.

2. Jamie McGuire (top photo). A Halifax hunk who plays the Smiley Creature in From.  I'm 99% sure that one of the two n*de dudes is him, but to be on the safe side, I posted a n*de Dylan Sprouse (from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody).

3. Austin Linley, left, had a BFA and a series of depressing shorts when he was hired to discomfit his closeted roommate on Overcompensating by walking around the dorm room n*ked.

4. Matt Smith. Prince Phillip, Charles Manson, Christopher Isherwood, Dr. Who, and Superworm shows us his stuff twice.  And his backside, for a change of pace.

5. Noah Matthews Matofsky.  Most Down Syndrome guys are on the small side (I'm not telling you how I know), but Noah is an exception.  Plus he can say "I love you" in 20 languages.

6. Ansel Pierce.  Although he is best known as the Euphoria big d*ck, Ansel has other points of interest, like a job in West Hollywood and a movie about a chubby gay guy in love (he plays the buddy).

7. Josh Fadem.  The coffee guy from the Twin Peaks remake sings a Hanukkah song and shows us his stuff.

8. George MacKay.  We only see the d*ck of the time traveler's buddy from behind.  This makes it even more provocative.

9. Jackson Tessmer. What can you say about a guy who goes to Hebrew School, stars in Christian dramas, and posts selfies?

More after the break. 

The top 18 gay-positive comedy movies: Bill and Ted, Jay and Silent Bob, zombies, pixies, time travelers, and Adam Devine in love

Link to the n*de photos 

As Donald O'Connor told us, "All the world wants to laugh."  There's plenty of gloom and sadness in real life; why would I want to watch it for two hours on a movie screen?  The trick is to find a comedy movie with beefcake, minimal hetero-romance, and gay characters who are not offensive stereotypes.  Heck, I'll even take gay subtexts. 

These are my 18 favorite movies with gay characters or subtexts, at least those that I've reviewed here or on the G-rated site. 

Only from 2016-2026.  If I went earlier, the list would include: After Hours, Auntie Mame, On the Town,  Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Some Like It Hot, To Wong Foo, Victor/Victoria...

Get Duked (2016): An anarchic, hip-hop inspired comedy about four city boys lost in the woods, being chased by a paranormal entity or a crazed tourist.  Two of them fall in love.

 Why Him?  (2016). Conservative dad meets his daughter's eccentric fiance.  Meanwhile Adam Devine and Griffin Gluck have a gay subtext romance that's off the charts.

Game Over, Man (2018). Gay gangsters, the Workaholics guys, and five minutes of Adam Devine's divine d*ck.  What's not to like?

 

Crazy Rich Asians (2018). A soap opera involving crazy rich Asians, with beefcake, a gay stereotype, and some gay subtexts.

The Dead Don't Die (2019): Zombie Apocalypse in a small town, played mostly for laughs, with some gay subtexs.  And when you search for it online, you get Josh O'Connor's junk.

 

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019).  Jay (right) and Silent Bob, the heterosexual life partners from the View Askew Universe have settled down and...become gay positive.  This is a precursor to the guys chaperoning Ozzie on his first date on That Nineties Show

Bill and Ted Face the Music (2020).  The most excellent Bill and Ted return, in a canonical four-way romance, with a nonbinary child and no homophobia.

Spies in Disguise (2020).  Animated feature with Will Smith and Tom Holland as gay-subtext buddy spies.  Also there are penguins.

Pixie (2021)   Gangster's daughter is forced to flee across the Irish countryside with a gay subtext couple, Ben Hardy and Daryl McCormack.  They give us the rarest of queer codes, staying together at fade-out rather than going their separate ways or getting girlfriends.   Pixie flies off to art school, and the guys ask "Where shall we go now?"

More after the break

My 24 favorite autobiographical stories: gay hints, sausage sightings, a wiener, a goblin, the Pentecostal MovieStar, and Kevin the Vampire

 

Link to the uncensored version

I've posted dozens of more-or-less accurate autobiographical stories on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends and Tales of West Hollywood, moving from my fundamentalist Nazarene childhood through high school, figuring it out, college, grad school at Indiana University, a horrible year in...ugh...Texas, and on to the heart of the Gay World.  Some of the stories are minimal -- I was trying to cover every gay hint, boyfriend, hookup, and sausage sighting  -- but some are well-written, insightful, humorous, and occasionally erotic.  Here are my 24 favorites.

Childhood

I Fall Asleep in a Sailor's Arms.  On the train on the way back from visiting South Carolina.  He warns me about making friends with "sissies."

The Face of Pure Evil.  The Old Lady Schoolteachers' grandson, who may not have looked like this, rescues me from the Maniac who stalks the hallways of Denkmann Elementary School.

The Answer to the N*ked Man's Question. A psychedelic Alice in Wonderland on tv on a golden afternoon, and a n*ked man who asks a question that I still can't answer. 

Comic Books and C*cks at the Furniture Store. Cousin Buster pranks me by claiming that you can get comic books at the furniture store -- and the delivery guys take off their shirts.  And sometimes their pants.

Grandpa Prater's Banjo  On the day after Christmas, Cousin Buster and I sneak into Grandpa Prater's room to borrow his banjo.

My Wild Night: Pancakes, Massage, and a Wiener.  I broke like six of my parents' rules that night, and was grounded for two weeks.  But at least I got to feel a...

High School

On My Knees in a Cute Guy's Bedroom.  When we went on vacation, we had to go to a local church, where they mistook us for sinners and tried inept soul-winning lines.  But once it worked to my advantage: A cute boy invited me to his bedroom "to pray."

The Preacher Pops a B*ner.  Our Bible College invited prospective students to a weekend of campus tours, ball games, nature hikes, classroom visits -- and the boys' dorm lounge, where the only couch invisible to the monitor got quite busy.

Augustana College

The First Gay Rights March in Iowa. Passersby pull their friends out of stores to gawk.  The police watch closely, eager to arrest us if we happen to touch another marcher's hand

I Cheat on My Boyfriend with a Goblin.  The Goblin's name is Dale Schafer-Shit.  But Fred was cheating with him first.  Every friggin' day.

Sharing a Bed with Mary's Brother.  My friend Mary invites me to her horrible house in the suburbs for spring break.  But at least I get to share a bed with a cute bo.

More after the break