Leonard Bernstein, Aaron the Rabbi's Son, and a poem about masks on the verge of coming out

  

Link to the n*de photos

Sorry for two autobiographical stories in a row, but I'm trying to build up my Fiction/Travel Index, and there aren't many tv programs around in the summertime to review.

When I was a kid, my church had no problem with classical music, but my parents hated "that longhair stuff," so there was none in the house.  My first exposure to Bach, Berlioz, Beethoven, and Mozart came through a series of Young People's Concerts which appeared occasionally on Sunday afternoons, hosted by famous composer Leonard Bernstein.

Later, when I joined the school orchestra, I learned more about Leonard Bernstein.

I saw his gay symbolism-heavy musicals, On the Town (1949), starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra, and West Side Story (1961), starring gay actor George Chakiris and assorted high-stepping hunks.

And his Symphony #3, Kaddish, named after the Jewish prayer for the dead.

He appeared on tv, conducting Gershwin, Mahler, and Beethoven.

No one ever mentioned that he was gay, of course, and his works revealed nothing, except maybe the Serenade for Solo Violin, Strings, Harp, and Percussion, after Plato's Symposium (1954).  The Symposium contains Plato's famous defense of same-sex love.

In the spring of my senior year, Aaron, the rabbi's son who was gay (but didn't know it yet), invited me to a performance of Bernstein's Mass, a musical theater piece based on the Latin Mass.  

"Wait -- isn't Bernstein Jewish?"

He nodded.  "That's what makes it interesting."

Nazarenes weren't supposed to associate with Catholics, or have anything to do with Catholic music, so of course I wanted to go.

There are three acts.

Act 1: Devotion and Celebration.  The celebrant invites the congregants to worship.  They begin authentically, but then doubt creeps in.  Nazarenes were told that it was a sin to doubt the existence of God, the inerrancy of the Bible, or the fundamental beliefs like the Virgin Birth: the Devil's primary temptation was not to do bad things, but to doubt. But here it is celebrated as part of the worship experience.  How can God be with us when there is so much suffering in the world?

Originally the congregants mentioned war, but in more recent versions, they mention racism and homophobia.

Act 2:  Crisis and Collapse: The anxieties and doubts of the congregants take their toll on the celebrant, who has a spiritual collapse, breaks the sacred objects, and screams in rage against God.

What  I say -- I don't feel.
What I feel -- I can't show.
What I show -- isn't real.
What is real?  Oh Lord, I don't know.

Suddenly I realized that he was mirroring the interrogation that I received constantly from parents, friends, teachers, my brother, the preacher at church,  "What girl do you like?  What girl?  What girl?  What girl?" 

Every boy has discovered girls at your age.  Every boy has experienced True Love, that fills "the hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame."  If you haven't, you must pretend.  Smile, grin, flirt, talk about how much you long for feminine smiles, every day, every hour, for the rest of your life.

In the third act, Resolution, a boy emerges from the congregation and sings "I will lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help," offering hope in the midst of despair.  The celebrant is restored, and the Mass continues.

But I wasn't paying attention.

More after the break

Aidan Merwarth: Finn's wannabe boyfriend, pencil company exec, juvenile delinquent, brat. With 3 d*cks and inconclusive social media

Link to the n*de dudes

In Season 2 of Unprisoned, gay-coded Finn (Faly Rakotohavana) and his family go to group therapy. Mom complains  that he spends all day online, not interacting with anyone in real life, so he'll never "fall in love, get married, and have a nice life."  I'm not getting into the assumption that you have to be married to have a nice life.  The therapist assigns Finn to "make a friend," presumably a friend that he could fall in love with.

He invites Spencer (Aidan Merwarth) to his room, but doesn't want to play video games or watch tv or anything.  Dude, if you're not going to make out with him, at least give him something to do.

Spencer plays with his phone for awhile, gets bored, calls Finn a "baby" (you wanted a real man?), and leaves.  He re-appears at the college fair to taunt Finn again.  Well, can you blame him?  Dude thought he was going to at least get some smooching.

Finn remains gay-vague, his s&xual identity unconfirmed through two seasons.  

I wanted to know about this guy who is playing a gay subtext or maybe gay-text teenager.

He was born in July 2022, and grew up in San Antonio, where he was homeschooled.  So either he's a fundamentalist Christian, or he goes on so many auditions that he has no time for school. 

 

He has 133 friends on Facebook.  

He's an acrobatic gymnast.  In 2015, at the International Acro Cup in Poland. Aidan and his sister Devon won second place in the mixed pair 11-16 age range

He attended the Los Angeles Film School, graduating with a B.S. in Animation in 2025.

He has eight acting credits on the IMDB.

A Girl Named Jo (2019). on Brat TV, features two girls trying to unravel a mystery at Attaway High School in 1963.  Aidan appears in four episodes as Felix, apparently Jo's boyfriend.

Another Brat TV series, Crazy Fast (2019), has a group of outsiders join the track team at Attaway High. Colin McCalla (n*de picture on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) stars.  Aidan plays Eamon, a runner "whose past with Rowan threatens everything."

Another straight guy, darn it.

The Forgotten Place is a short about Eric (Jeff Locker), who wants a friend.  He finds one (Brian Flaccus), but apparently he means a platonic friendship.

In Saving Paradise (2021), a "ruthless corporate executive" (William Moseley) has to return to his small town when he inherits his father's struggling pencil factory. At Christmastime.  He has to save it and win The Girl (named Charlie, just to fool you into thinking there's a gay romance).

So Paradise is a pencil factory?  I guess it beats saving the annual Christmas festival.  Aidan plays the  rutless corporate executive as a teenager, already in love with The Girl.

But a pencil factory?  When was the last time you used a pencil?  Or saw one?

More after the break

Andrew Stevens: Teen idol gave us queer codes in "The Fury," took off his shirt a lot, but never played a gay guy again

Nazarenes weren't allowed to go to movie theaters, so during my senior year in high school, I began telling my parents I was heading to the library or a friend's house, and sneaking out to the Showcase Cinemas to see The Chicken Chronicles (Steve Guttenberg, sigh), Close Encounters of the Third Kind, High Anxiety, Coma, The End, Big Wednesday, and in March 1978, The Fury:  Robin (Andrew Stevens, top), who has psychic powers, is kidnapped, so his Dad, former CIA agent Peter (Kirk Douglas, bottom) enlists a girl with psychic powers to find him.  

Everyone is heterosexual, and the guys both die at the end, which would be a major red flag today, but as a high schooler a few months away from recognizing that I was gay, I found many queer codes and a lot of beefcake. 

I had some idea that Andrew became a member of the Brat Pack in the 1980s, starred in some buddy-bonding angst dramas, and was called a "f*g" by Molly Ringwald (who would go on to play a pro-gay Mom in Stranger Things).  But that turns out to be Andrew McCarthy.  I haven't seen Andrew Stevens in anything else.  Here's why.

Born in 1955 in Memphis, Andrew started his career as a cute teenager, subtly muscular, with shaggy hair and a goofy smile, for "heartwarming" roles as cute or wounded kids in tv series like Apple's Way (1974), Police Story (1975), and Shazam! (1976).  I didn't like heartwarming.

In the 1980s, hair straightened, muscles bulging, tanned, Andrew began playing  suave playboys or con artists in the tv soaps Emerald Point N.A.S , Dallas, and Hotel.

Soap operas?  No way!



















More after the break

"Diary of a Future President": Bobby comes out Disney style, Part 1. With bonus Matthew Underwood

The conceit of Diary of a Future President, on the Disney Channel, is that we're watching the memories of U.S. President Elena Cañero-Reed in the distant-past year of 2020, when she was in the sixth grade in a Miami middle school. As Elena negotiates the world of best friends, cute boys, and lofty ambitions, her Mom gets a new boyfriend (Michael Weaver), and her older brother Bobby comes out.  Very gradually.  Here is the first part of his story, from Season 1:

Episode 1: As they are riding to school for the first day of class, Bobby  (Charlie Bushnell,  top photo) mentions his love of tennis and his friends, Ziggy (Sean Philip Glasgow, left)  and Danny (Nathan Arenas), aka Friend 1 and Friend 2.

Episode 2:  The boys relish being at the top of the middle school food chain.  A hot girl says hello to Bobby; his friends gush with excitement.  A guy named Liam(Brandon Severs, below) offers to sign up for the team.  Bobby promises to go easy on him at practice, but he turns out to be great. No indication that he is attracted to Liam at this point.  

Bobby pranks Liam by inviting him to a party that doesn't exist, so he shows up at the gym all alone in a suit.  Then they both get locked into the gym.

Episode 3: Liam has joined the gang.  Bobby has a date with Monyca.  The guys practice how to take off a girl's bra, but the date just involves talking.

Episode 4: Mom keeps interrupting Bobby and Monyca as they sit in the bedroom, trying to have their first kiss.  

He complains to his friend that they can't get enough privacy, so they throw a party with a "Two Minute Tongue Tank."  Bobby emerges, having kissed Monyca, looking confused.   Later, Liam congratulates him, and he looks confused again.

Episode 5: Bobby and his friends on the tennis team, getting bullied by the stereotypic arrogant, racist jerk tennis superstars.   The big match, which is extremely well attended and apparently has cheerleaders.  

Episode 6:  Friend #1 invites the gang to his house to riff on a bad movie.  Bobby says no, but when Monyca asks him out "to talk about their families" on the same night, he changes his mind.  Is he avoiding her?  

While watching the movie, Bobby feels bad.  Liam notices, and the next day asks what was wrong.  Bobby misses his dead father.  Liam: "If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you."  Ok, so he's not rejecting Monyca, he just didn't want to talk about families.

Episode 7:  Bobby and Liam get stuck in the supply room during the big match.  As they wait to be rescued, they discuss why Liam came to Miami to stay with his grandmother: he didn't get along with his older brothers.  They are sitting crosslegged on the floor, with their knees almost touching. Bobby notices and gets all flustered.  Then they are rescued.  And Bobby takes the ball they were playing with as a souvenir.  Ok, now it's obvious that he's attracted to Liam.

Episode 8: Bobby invites his friends to the big dance, but they don't want to go because they don't have girlfriends.  He suggests a prank, and they're up for it. 

Later, Bobby is waiting for his sister at the hair salon, when the swishy hairdresser insists on giving him a new doo.  "Are you going to the big dance?" he asks.  He knows about the middle school dance?   Bobby affirms that he's going "with some friends."  

"Nobody special that you want to look nice for?"  "Kinda...maybe." 

Hairdresser points out a photo of his hot husband, Bruno: they met at a middle school dance.  "Just kidding -- Fleet Week."  Bobby grins.  So he's aware that gay people exist.  

At the dance, the guys get ready to play the prank, when they see Liam dancing with a girl!  Bobby fumes with jealousy.  He rushes over and yells at him.  It's time for the prank!  You're abandoning your friends!  They end up fighting, and Bobby gets ejected.

More after the break

"Diary of a Future President": Bobby comes out Disney style, Part 2. With bonus Drake Bell

When we last saw Bobby Cañero-Reed (Charlie Bushnell), older brother of future president Elena  Cañero-Reed in the Disney channel series Diary of a Future President, he was having trouble saying "I'm...I think I might be...", in spite of knowing about 300 LGBT people and getting endless "If you want to talk, I'm there for you" support from family and friends. Plus he had chickened out of telling his crush, Liam, how he felt.  What will happen in Season 2?

Episode 1:  On the first day of high school, Bobby and his friends discover that they can't try out for the tennis team: all of the positions have been filled by older students.  Bummer: tennis was his passion.  So they go to the Student Activities Fair to find a new extracurricular activity.  So you can just join one club?  When I was in high school, I belonged to six.  Friend #1 joins the band, and eventually gets dropped from the gang; Friend #2 joins the Film Club; and Bobby's Crush Liam joins the club his girlfriend belongs to (junior environmentalists).  Bobby looks at the booth for the Gender-Sexuality Alliance, but is afraid to approach.

Left: Kyan Zielinski as Sister Elena's nemesis.)

Later, Bobby confides in Sister Elena...about not being able to play tennis.  She repeats: "I'm here for you."  Darn, he's got more people "here for him" than I have Facebook friends.

Episode 2:  Everyone wants to know what club Bobby joined as a substitute for tennis.  He claims bowling, but Mom discovers that there is no bowling club.  He lied to them! Why, did he secretly join the Gender-Sexuality Alliance?  

She seeks the advice of her friend Camilla, who says "Bobby is going through a lot right now.  Hormones, crushes...identity"  But oblivious Mom concludes that he's upset because her boyfriend is moving in.  Everything isn't always about you, C-plot character!

Meanwhile, Bobby's friends blow him off to go to club meetings, and Crush Liam keeps talking about his girlfriend.  Bobby goes out to the back of the school and angrily hits a tennis ball around.  

Later, Bobby and the gang (with Crush Liam's girlfriend tagging along) have tater tots. Whoops, there's a gay couple hugging at the next table!  Bobby grins.

Episode 3:  All freshmen have to give a give a 2-minute speech on "something you're passionate about.  Speak from your heart.  Show us a window into your soul."  Bobby is horrified.  Dude, just talk about tennis.  Or being gay.

Wait -- all freshmen?  In my junior high, that would be like 300 people.

Left: Eugene Kim as a teacher.

At lunch, the guys reveal that it is even more horrifying: that speech is the key to your popularity in high school (really?).  If you screw up, you will be an outcast forever (really?).

Bobby spends the episode discussing his stage fright with the entire cast, plus Grandma, and ends up giving a speech  about how unfair it is to have one speech label you for the rest of your life.  "We should be able to pick our on labels, or decide if we want to be labeled at all."  Yeah, I've heard that before.  "I don't like labels" means "I don't want to identify as gay, even though I like guys."  This is just a ploy to delay the "I'm...." statement.

Episode 4: Bobby is still upset over his Crush Liam having a girlfriend, but now things are even worse: Friend #2,  has a crush on a film club girl!  The guys spend the episode trying to push them together.  When she turns out to have a boyfriend already, Friend #2 is devastated.  Bobby tells him the he also had an unrequited love last year.  He won't say who it was.

Episode 5: Due to his epic Freshman History Speech, Bobby is chosen to be Mr. Manatee, like the homecoming king.  So he has to choose a Ms. Manatee to bring to the big dance. How heterosexist!

Left: still having trouble finding beefcake photos of the cast, so here's gay comedian Brendan Schannell, who played Jonny, with the Red M&M.

At school, girls are giggling and swooning over Bobby, and his friends are ecstatic.  "You're the top of the heap now!  You rule the school!"   They offer multiple suggestions about Ms. Manatee, but Bobby doesn't want to think about it.

Later, Bobby is all depressed about the necessity of dating a girl, and confides in his sister Elena, Mom's boyfriend Sam, and Mom's friend Camilla (who understands because had to date a boy for her quinceañera, even though she liked girls)

Finally...finally he confides in sister Elena again: "No one knows the real reason I hate Mr. Manatee so much."  Dude, everybody knows.  The hairdresser knows.  The lunch lady knows.  "I don't want to date a girl.  I want to date a guy. Because...(wait for it...)...I'm gay." 

"WHAT???  I had no idea!!!"  Just kidding.  Elena is happy -- and relieved -- that he finally came out.  So am I.

More after the break

"The Family Law": Chinese-Australian Boy Struggles to Come Out

 

The Family Law, on Hulu, is a sitcom about a Chinese-Australian family in Queensland: wildly inappropriate Mom, harried Dad (Anthony Brandon Wong), jock older brother (George Zhou, left), two sisters, and focus character, "life is unfair" Ben (Trystan Go).   Sort of like Malcolm in the Middle or The Goldbergs, except that at some point Ben comes out.  

Looking through the episode synopses, I don't see any indication of romantic interest for Ben, until Season 3 Episode 1:  When their parents are gone, Melissa and Ben "scheme to get into a Year 12 (high school senior) party, where there will be booze and -- more importantly for Melissa -- boys."  Obviously Ben is not out yet.

Episode 3: "Ben struggles with a crippling addiction to watching Klaus pump iron across the street, and is riddled with anxiety over what it means."

Episode 5: "Ben battles with his feelings toward Klaus."

Season and Series Finale: "Aunt Maisy's son has come out as gay and it's the end of the world." So they wait until the very last moment for Ben to come out!  Typical!  I'll watch Episode 3 instead.  Maybe there will be beefcake.

Scene 1: Ben peers through his telescope to watch across-the-street neighbor Klaus (Takaya Honda, left) working out.  Shirtless, extremely muscular!  In voice over, he talks about how dangerous an addiction is.  Sometimes you have to remove yourself.  He backs away.  

Scene 2: Dinner.  Sister Candy and her boyfriend Wayne (Sam Cotton, below) have an announcement.  Everyone thinks that they are engaged, but no, they're taking the family camping.  Wayne explains: "No distractions, no temptations."  Everyone hates the idea, except Ben,  who thinks this might get his mind off Klaus's muscles.

Scene 3: Getting ready for school.  Everyone except Ben is complaining about the camping trip: "Being raped and killed by dingos."  

In the B plot, divorced Mom had a date with Pete (Jeremy Lindsay Taylor), but -- vulgarity alert -- he...um...soiled his pants.This ain't the Goldbergs!   He doesn't want a second date: "It's not the right time."  Mom is crushed.

Scene 4:  Unpacking groceries.  Mom is still crushed.  Suddenly Klaus from across the street drops by: he accidentally picked up Ben's shorts after gym class.  The embarrassed Ben rushes into his room; Klaus follows, and finds the telescope Ben uses to spy on him: "Hey, I can see right into my bedroom!" Then he lies down on Ben's bed.  Ok, now you're deliberately teasing him.  

Scene 5: The next day at school, Ben complains to his friend: "He was in my bed, touching my junk (which means something different in Australia), overstepping his bounds!"  Klaus appears: he heard that they were going camping, so he's going to lend Ben his state-of-the-art sleeping bag: "But wash it first.  It still smells like me."  Ulp!

Scene 6: Packing up the car.  It's way overcrowded.  Off to the outback!

More after the break

Kelvin and Keefe, Matchmakers: A Cousin Karl and Percy Story, Part 1

 

As Kelvin waited for Percy at one of the little blue tables outside the Lost Dog Cafe, he couldn't help flashing back to the first time they met, when Jesse hired him to design the church's executive board room.  Kelvin wasn't out to anyone yet, not even to himself, really, and seeing the flashy, unapologetic, loud-and-proud interior designer was a revelation. Percy became his best friend, and his go-to guy for anything about gay history and culture, from the Stonewall Riots to GLAAD Awards.  But today Kelvin had a different kind of request.  He wasn't sure that a guy who came out at age ten could understand.

They chatted about ordinary things, rated a few bulges, and then Kelvin got down to business. "Percy, I had an ulterior motive in inviting you to lunch today.  Remember my Cousin Karl?  You met him at the wedding reception."

"Big guy, black beard, baby face, smile that lights up the whole state?  Sure, he's hard to miss."

"He came out to Keefe and I last night."  

"Wait -- out as gay? Isn't he over 40?"

"43.  But don't look so surprised.  I was 34 when I figured it out, remember, and Karl has been even more sheltered than me.  He didn't even know that 'gay' was a thing until he saw Keefe and I kissing one night."

"43, imagine that.  He's got a lot of catching up to do."

"Karl wants a boyfriend, but he's so soft and sweet, a little kid, really, that we don't trust him on Grindr, or Gay Christian Mingle .  And you're like the gay expert of South Carolina. You belong to every club, you know everybody, and so..."

"So you want me to play matchmaker?  Sure, glad to do it.  Off the top of my head, I can think of four or five candidates.  Let's start with Brett.  He goes to my gym -- built like a bodybuilder, chest for days! He'll be able to appreciate Karl's muscles."

The full story, with NSFW illustrations is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

Michael Provost: Perennial heterosexual boyfriend, with some nude photos and maybe a coming out video

  

  Link to the nude photos  

Remember the butts identified as "Michael Provost" in the Gavin Munn photo collection?  I did some research, and discovered that he is an actor born in 1998, in Atlanta or Bridgeport, Connecticut, depending on who you believe, known for Insatiable, The Holdovers, Lucifer, and Fear Street.  

Also he's apparently gay.  TikTok has a number of videos dedicated to "Michael Provost" coming out.  So let's check for gay roles or subtexts.

The Case for Christ (2017). Probably not.

Lucifer Episode 4.8 (2019).  Reformed Big Bad Amenadiel(D.B. Woodside) mentors Michael's Nate Mifflin, whose parents are divorcing. Nope.

Insatiable (2018-19): a girl who is bullied for being fat becomes thin and sets out to get revenge and win a beauty pageant Bob Armstrong(Brett Rice), her beauty pageant mentor, has a long, slow, painful coming-out. and begins dating long-term antagonist Bob Barnard  (Christopher Gorham. right).  

Michael plays Brick Armstrong, Bob's son, who is heterosexual: he has an affair with an older woman before settling down with the formerly-fat girl.  He does get several semi-nude and rear nudity scenes.

Saving Zoe (2019).  A girl named Echo and her boyfriend, Michael, investigate the murder of her older sister.  Nope.

Most Guys are Losers (2020). College boy Michael seeks the approval of his girlfriend's dad, who wrote a book, Most Guys are Losers.  Nope.

Plan B: When a girl's crush, Michael, leaves a party with another girl, she gets even by having sex with a loser, and has to track down a Plan B, post-coitus contraceptive, before she gets pregnant. There's a lesbian character, but Michael is straight.

Fear Street:Two sisters at a summer camp in 1978.  One has sex with Michael.  

It's not looking good so far.  I'll just check one more.

The Holdovers (2023). "Holdovers" are people who have to stay at a fancy prep school during the 1970  Christmas holiday: A cranky Classics teacher, a grieving cook, and some students, including jock Jason (Michael).  Two youtubers with the bizarre name "gay homosexuals" promise spoilers, but the first ten minutes of their 30-minute review doesn't mention any gay subtexts. Jason gets a girlfriend, quite a feat in an all-boy school.

More Michael after the break.  Warning: Explicit

The Coming-Out Episode of "Family Reunion"

 

Family Reunion is a sitcom about a family who moves from the Pacific Northwest to the South to get closer to their roots.  I reviewed an episode earlier to see if the boy Mazzi was gay (turns out that he just had feminine-coded traits).  One of the writers responded, saying that the show is gay-friendly, and a gay cousin will show up in a later episode.  That episode is "Remember When M'Dear Stole the Show."

Scene 1: 6 Weeks Ago.  The teenage Jade auditions for part of 18-year old Mimi in the musical that the whole family is working on, The Night I Fell in Love.  But her grandmother, M'Dear, has guilted Mom, the writer/director/producer, into giving her the part.

Scene 2:  Mom Cocoa complains that, with all her rewrites, M'Dear is changing the whole show.  The title is now The Night I Fell in Love with Jesus, and it's about a religious conversion rather than a heterosexual romance.  M'Dear: "But you begged me to be the star!"

Scene 3:  They're all hanging out on the porch after rehearsal, eagerly anticipating the arrival of Cousin Barron (Nico Annan, left), a big-time songwriter who works with celebrities. Wait -- isn't Dad a celebrity?  So what's the big deal?

Backstory: Grandpa and M'Dear raised Cousin Barron after his mother died, and wanted him to become a dentist, but he insisted on a career in music.  

Cousin Barron arrives.  Hugs all around.  "Who's the cute guy with you?"  "Oh, that's Sidney (Sean Samuels), my...um...business partner."  

Sidney and M'Dear bond over a Bible verse quoting contest.

Scene 4: They gather in the kitchen to watch a video of Cousin Barron and Shaka (the older son) dancing.  The youngest daughter asks "So, are you guys (Sidney and Barron) dating, or what?"  

Dad tries to shut her up: "That ain't none of your business," but Cousin Barron says "We're not dating, we're engaged!'  

Shaka: "Wait.  You can't be engaged.  You're not gay!"

Cousin Barron: "Well, I am gay."

Grandpa yells about how he's against homos and won't have them in his house. The rest of the family is supportive.

Scene 5:  Whoops, Shaka is homophobic, too.  He doesn't want to dance with Cousin Barron anymore.  "But I'm still the same person."  "No, you're not. Stay away from me!" He runs ouy of the room.

Scene 6: Opening night.  I used to think it was weird, back in the 1970s, when all of the regular cast and no one else would appear in community theater productions.  Well, they're doing it again.  

Backstage, Dad wants to know why Shaka has deleted Cousin Barron from his TikTok account.  

Shaka: "Because I hate him! Dad, did you know he was gay?"  

Dad: "Sure, I've known since we were kids."  

Shaka: "Doesn't it bother you?"

Dad: "No. And I'm surprised it bothers you."  Me, too.  In a family of allies --- even the super-religious Bible verse champion M'Dear -- how does the son turn homophobic?  I guess from Grandpa?

Shaka: "Well, I'm not gay, so I don't want to ever see him or hear about him again."

Scene 7:  M'Dear has turned the "tragic diagnosis scene" into a dance number.    Then she twists her ankle and can't continue, so her understudy, Jade, must go on!

Shaka seeks out his brother, Mozzie: "Can you believe Dad actually wants me to accept Cousin Barron!  He acts like hating gays makes me a jerk!"

Mozzie: "That's because it does.  Since when are you homophobic?"

Shaka: "Dude, I'm not afraid of gay people.  But if I  hang out with them, people will think I'm gay, too!"

Mozzie: "Some people think I'm gay because I'm so feminine.  Who cares?"

Scene 8: Uh-oh, Jade has to go on in M'Dear's place, but she didn't learn her lines!  So M'Dear performs while sitting on a park bench.

Scene 9: Grandpa congratulating M'Dear on her performance.  "How did you like my duet with Barron?"  

Grandpa: "Grr, grr, Book of Leviticus, grr!"  

M'Dear: "Oh, he's a great singer.  And he and Sidney are so happy together!"

Grandpa: "I know what you're trying to do.  But I absolutely cannot deal with Baron being like that Isn't there some way to fix him, turn him normal?"

M'Dear: "He doesn't need fixing."  

Grandpa:  "What did I do wrong, for him to turn out like that?  I failed my sister, and I failed that boy."

M'Dear: "Barron is an educated, successful man of faith. You did a good job."

Grandpa: "But the Bible says that God hates him!"

M'Dear: "Don't quote the Bible to me.  I'm the Bible verse champ.  You can cherry-pick a few verses to suit your agenda, or you can realize that Jesus is about love."

Scene 10: The rest of the family is in the kitchen, eating ice cream.  Shaka has somehow turned accepting, and asks Barron to make a TikTok with him.  How did that happen?  

Scene 11: Barron and Shaka dancing, then posting the video to the internet.  Shaka apologizes for being homophobic earlier.  They hug.  

Scene 12: On the porch, saying goodbye to Cousin Barron and Sidney.  Grandpa comes out, so the family scrams.  Cousin Barron apologizes for being gay.  Grandpa says he doesn't get it, but "I'll be there for you."  They hug and leave.  M'Dear congratulates Grandpa on his ability to be civil in spite of his homophobia.  Hey, he can talk to a gay person without yelling!  Give him a medal!

Postscript: Meg DeLoatch, Co-Writer of the episode, dedicates it to her son Maxx, whom she "loves unconditionally."  Co-writer George Blake dedicates it to his "two best loves: my Mom and my Tommy."  

My Verdict:  Most sitcoms in the 1980s and 1990s had an episode where a visiting friend or family member comes out.  Everyone is fine with it except for the series jerk, who recoils in homophobic panic, but gradually comes around.  This was the same plot, except with two homophobes instead of one.  But there's no reason for them to be homophobic, when the rest of the family isn't.  It seems contrived, added just to get some conflict.  

  I liked the ultra-religious M'Dear being an ally, but Shaka went from ultra-homophobic to "let's hug" way too quickly, and Grandpa got off the hook way too easily.

"Beaver Falls": Mac reveals his "shameful secret." Hint: It's being gay

Beaver Falls (2011-2012), streaming on Amazon Prime, is a British sitcom in the "Aren't Americans wacky?" genre, about three graduates of Oxford Brookes University (Oxford Brookes, not Oxford) who get jobs at a ritzy American summer camp.

I'm not watching.  In spite of the little beaver on the camp logo, the opening sequence reveals exactly what kind of "beaver" the show is about.  These boys came to the U.S. to have sex with American girls, who apparently are easier to seduce than their British counterparts.

But I did watch Season 2, Episode 5, when a camper comes out.

Barry (John Dagleish left) is smoking pot with a jock named Mac  (Tom Austen, top photo), who suddenly kisses him.  He responds with amused nonchalance: "Chicks can't take their weed."

I was so shocked by the implication that gay men are actually women that it didn't register that he was smoking pot with an underaged boy (I looked it up -- Mac is actually a counselor, not a camper)

Mac is horrified at his faux pas.  He rushes to his girlfriend's cabin and has sex with her, thus "proving" that he's really straight in spite of the kiss.

In the aftermath, Barry becomes the subject of gay rumors.  The whole camp becomes angry and suspicious, except for some who defend him: "Barry is as much of a man as he ever was."  So...gay men aren't men?

When he shows up in a  "ladyboy" pink athletic singlet, his fellow counselors are outraged, and ask if he needs a "push-up bra."  Barry insists that he's straight, so he doesn't need a bra. So...gay men need bras?

He gets upset.  He doesn't mind if people think he is gay, only when they laugh at him or yell at him.  Right, that would be the homophobia....

Meanwhile, it's the big  basketball game  (why do counselors, not campers, play basketball?).  Someone calls Mac a "fag" and he beats him up.  His teammates don't get it:  "The dude just called you a fag.  There's no need to overreact."

Then, to their horror, they figure it out: Mac really is a fag!  "I showered next to him!" one of the jocks exclaims in disgust.  Rather intense homophobia for 2012, isn't it?  

To save his reputation and keep him from being killed by his teammates, Barry says that he made the first move; he's a gay pervert trolling for jailbait, but "Mac is a man." So...gay men aren't men? 

Mac, meanwhile, runs into the woods.  His girlfriend follows, and claims that kissing a guy is not a problem.  But he says "I'm sorry....I'm so, so, sorry."

Gulp.  That's what people say before they commit suicide....

Instead he dumps her.  He's gay.  Wait -- he's had sex with lots of women, and he kissed a guy once, so therefore he's gay. That must have been one powerful kiss!    

The episode ends with Barry and Mac smoking pot again, and Mac upset because he's ruined everybody's life.  The episode fades out to a song.  The only lyrics I heard were: "I'll wear my coat in shame."

To recap:
1.The slightest moment of same-sex affection means that you are gay.
2. Gay men are not men, they're women.
3. Being gay is something shameful.
4. The year is 1975. Or else this is an episode of Will and Grace.