Evan Mulrooney: Tony's gym boyfriend, an Albanian c*cktwizzler, a Trad Husband, Jar-Jar Binks' hookup. Is he gay or just pretending?

I find a lot of gay actors to profile from the gym buddies that Tony Cavalero posts about.  Today he worked out with Evan, whose Instagram is full of muscle pics and humorous POVS, like "Top Three Spots for a First Date in Wilmington, Delaware." One involves searching for the Mud Man in Dupont Marsh Fields.  I found a Dupont Environmental Education Center, but nothing about a Mud Man cryptid anywhere.

I guarantee that you have no idea what he means by "perfect protein snack."  Hint: it starts off with baked cottage cheese.

But  I need to know if he's an actor -- Tony often works out with civilians.

Success!  11 acting credits listed on the IMDB, more on his professional resume, plus two interviews.

Evan is Evan Mulrooney, who grew up in an "unstable household" in Wilmington, Delaware (he still suffers from general anxiety disorder).  

He attended the Salesian School (private, Catholic) and University of Maryland on a football scholarship, but some torn knees and concussions suggested that sports was not a viable career path.  

After graduation, he  moved to Chicago, where he studied at the Acting Studio  and the Annoyance Theater. 

Evan's theatrical credits include: 

Steamworks: The Musical, about the legendary gay bathhouse

Shitfyre: The Musical, a retelling of the Fyre Fest debacle (according to Google AI, "a disastrous music festival that failed due to poor planning and execution).

It’s Christmas Goddammit!: "a dark comedy about a truly dysfunctional family"

Queer Eye: The Musical Parody, presented by Second City.

At least two gay roles there.  

In 2022, Evan moved to Los Angeles.  He has 11 or 13 on-screen credits, depending on who you believe, including:

Crime boss Joe Bulo as a young man in four episodes of Fargo (2022)

Agron Darke, an Albanian mob enforcer on a 2023 episode of Justified: City Primeval.  The shooting script has him complementing Raylan's hat.  A mark calls him a "no-neck Albanian c*cktwizzler," and his brother Besnik says that "he's sensitive, like a woman."  So maybe he's got some gay hints.

Vinnie Caccimello in four episodes of Only Murderers in the Building (2025).  He's not in the cast list, but he may be the son of missing dry cleaner Nick Caccimello.

The movie Start without Me (2025), not listed in the IMDB: "Adam, a former musician (Finn Wittrock), and Marissa, a flight attendant with marital issues, embark on a life-changing Thanksgiving road trip."  

So Evan played at least one gay-subtext character in his tv work, and has at least one probable n*de photo.

More after the break

Chicago Party Aunt, Episode 1.5: Free-spirit Diane tries to help her gay nephew get his first kiss. Will it be with his dentist?

 

Free spirit paired with stick-in-the mud, "life is a banquet" paired with "that's not a good idea", "it's only 2:00 am" paired with "I have a big test tomorrow," has been traditional comedy since the days of Laverne and Shirley and The Odd Couple, In this case, it's Chicago Party Aunt on Netflix, pairing the free-spirit middle-aged Diane with her stick-in-the-mud 18-year old nephew, Daniel (Rory O'Malley, left). 

 I watched Episode 1.5, "Halloween Circle": Daniel tries to get his first kiss at a Halloween party.   No hope that either of the two regulars will be gay, but there might be some gay friends at the party.

Scene 1: Diane takes Daniel to get his first fake id: you have to order "two Chicago hot dogs" at a restaurant, then go through a secret door through the kitchen, a meat locker, another secret door, and into the basement, where a gangster-type offers the id for "his usual fee": a kidney.  Just kidding: $200.

Scene 2: Breakfast in their apartment. Oatmeal for Daniel,  Kahlua for Diane.  They discuss the upcoming Halloween party at Roscoe's, the best gay bar in Chicago.  Daniel is excited about his "first queer Halloween."  Daniel is gay!  I'm speechless!

Turns out that Rory O'Malley  is gay in real life.  I could have gotten that from the IMDB, which notes that he married Gerold Schroeder in 2014.

Daniel wants to get his first kiss from a random hot guy at the party: "I'll go up to him and say 'Would you like to kiss?."  That won't work, dude.  

Diane gives him some cruising tips: open with a joke, then a compliment, then a smouldering look, then the kiss. 

"I can't stay out late because I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.  Ugh!  I hate it when Dr. Gluck make jokes with his hand in my mouth."

"Cancel it!  Tonight you're going to get more than a hand in your mouth!"   

Scene 3: The hair salon where Diane works. Everyone wearing Halloween costumes. Diane bursts in and asks if they are going to the party tonight.  No, they have other plans.  

So who will Diane party with while Daniel is cruising hot guys?  "Why not ask Gideon?"

"Gideon??? That boring wet blanket?  No way!"  

Gideon, the salon manager (RuPaul), happens to be standing behind her, and criticizes her for her substance abuse and reckless behavior.  Hey, he sounds like Daniel's type.  Hint, hint.

Scene 4:  Daniel working at a coffee shop that sells beet juice and green algae.  I thought he was a teenager?  He tries cruising a hot guy, and fails miserably.   

Meanwhile, Salon Manager Gideon is on a lunch date with a guy he met on a dating app, who is discussing his bizarre diet, then: "So, any fun plans for Halloween?"  

"Face Time with my Mom back in Georgia," Gideon says.  His date is not impressed.

Back at the coffee shop, the manager asks about Daniel's lame cruising attempts.  He says that he's hoping to kiss someone tonight.  Manager advises against taking cruising advice from raunchy Aunt Diane: "She calls me Vanilla Lice, and I'm pretty sure she crop dusted the nut cheese aisle."  I don't know what that is.

More after the break

Halloween Tales of Beefcake

Tales of Halloween (2015) is an anthology of 10 Halloween-themed stories.  It made the rounds of film festivals and was released on video-on-demand, and now is streaming on Netflix.

The stories all have different writers and directors, so they vary tremendously in tone, some grotesquely violent, some humorous. And in quality: clever, even intriguing plotlines juxtaposed with boring cliches.

But they have one thing in common: they cast some of the most attractive beefcake stars who ever sat on a casting couch.

1. "Sweet Tooth": A candy-seeking serial killer, with  Austin Falk as Kyle.

2. And Hunter Smit as the Killer.

3. "The Night Billy Raised Hell": a young boy eggs the house of a reclusive man who turns out to be the Devil.  With Adam Pascal as The Dentist.

4. "Ding Dong": A man learns that his wife eats children.  With Marc Senter as Jack.

5. "Trick": Vigilante trick-or-treaters.  With John F. Beach as James.

More after the break.

Eight Biceps and Bulges of South Carolina

Link to the n*de photos

 I have relatives in South Carolina, and I had a job interview there, so I've visited a number of times, most recently in October 2022.  Here are some photos of biceps and bulges that I may or may not have seen in real life.

The nude photos are all from public websites or posted with permission of the subject.

1.Wrestlers from Beaumont.

2. Spiderman, ready for trick-or-treating in Charleston's French Quarter

3. Cadets at The Citadel.

Old City Market, Charleston

An interesting house in Walterboro

4. Yes, they have ballet in South Carolina.

More after the break

Robert Oberst's Hot Photos, Part 1: Fifty burgers, bondage, b*tts, an oral lesson, and the love of his life

  

Link to the bondage and b*tts

This is a collection of hot or humorous photos of Robert Oberst, a professional strongman who held the American record for the log press.  He starred in two strongman reality programs, and played Cousin Karl in Righteous Gemstones Season 3.

1. "Freedom from wearing pants!"

2. Guidance counselor: "Do you want to model underwear or lift 400-pound logs?" 

Robert: "Heck with that. I'm doing both." 

3. Even when you have a home gym, it can be fun to work out with other guys. 

4. And hit the sauna afterwards

5. Dinner at a romantic bistro -- notice the couple holding hands in the background: Fify burgers, no buns, 200 wings, but just one piece of pie.  The other is for his date.

6. "It's your own fault for trying to steal one of my french fries."

More Robert after the break

"Bite Sized Halloween": 3-Minute Horror Stories with Cute Guys

It's 48 days to Halloween, but the ghosts and pumpkins are already decorating houses, tv commercials involve cobwebs, and the movie/tv recommendations on streaming services are all scary.  At least I haven't seen any Santa Claus hats yet.  

The Hulu series Bite Sized Halloween consists of two seasons of 3-minute horror stories.  They are a mixed lot. 

 Some give away the plot instantly:

An obnoxious airplane passenger (David Banks) refuses to give up his seat, so he must be forcibly ejected...

Some have (very short) Twilight Zone-style twists:

An office worker  (Casey Feigh) refuses to hold the elevator door open for an old lady, who....

Some feel lik the beginning of a regular-sized movie, and end at a frustrating point:

A man (Aaron Thomas Ward) searching for his brother investigates an old house, where there is a doorway to a parallel world....

LGBTQ representation is also a mixed bag.

8 of the 28 first-season episodes specifically involve heterosexual romance, and 6 involve parents and children.  None mention same-sex couples or LGBTQ people.

The second season is a bit more inclusive.  4 of 18 episodes involve heterosexual romance, 2 involve parents and children, and 3 mention LGBTQ persons:

Nonbinary: "The New Nanny."  An actual witch, complete with black hat, becomes the nanny to a boy who likes to wear dresses (not really nonbinary, just into drag).  He wears his pretty princess dress to the park (to play soccer?  Buy him a skirt!).  A bully starts mocking him, whereupon the witch-nanny..... 

Bisexual: "Unicorn": A bisexual man wants to become a unicorn (a regular sex partner) for a male-female couple.  He appears at their apartment with flowers, which strikes me as odd for a sex partner, and just makes out with the woman.  Turns out that they have nefarious intent.  (A rare 13-minute long episode).

Lesbian: "Freebirth": A lesbian couple go into the woods for a "natural" childbirth.  Things go wrong, but fortunately a heterosexual couple...

Three episodes out of 46 is about 6%.  Better than 0%, but one wonders what happened to the gay men.  At least the guys are cute. 

The Naked Pumpkin Runs

Naked festivals are held in many cities around the world, but in most parts of the United States, public nudity is a criminal offense.

Back during the freewheeling 1970s, it was merely a violation, or at most a misdemeanor -- lots of high school and college kids participated in the fad of streaking.  But now we've become even more puritanical, and it's often a felony.

So what do you do if you want to participate in a nude run?

You put a pumpkin on your head.

At Halloween 1999, over 100 University of Colorado students ran through the streets of Boulder wearing only shoes and pumpkins, or sometimes other masks.

They carried on the tradition for a decade, but in 2008, the police threatened to arrest participants, charge them with indecent exposure, and have them registered as sex offenders, along with the rapists and child molesters.

15 runners were arrested.

In 2009, Boulder passed a new anti-nudity ordinance, mandating fines rather than jail time, but people were scared off, and the runs have not resumed.

However, runners are taking up the tradition in cities which permit  public nudity as part of a "festival or performance, such as Portland, Oregon and Arcata, California.

 In Seattle, Washington, there's a full week of activities, including day and night runs and skinny-dipping.

Skinny dipping?  The temperature is usually in the 40s!

"Boys in the Trees": My Favorite Movie of the Year

Boys in the Trees (2016) turned out to be my favorite movie of the year, but I would never have known from the trailer.  It's another one of those misleading trailers that makes a drama look like a comedy or a tearjerker look like a fantasy.

 In this case, it looks like supernatural horror will be released on Halloween and terrorize two boys on their walk home.  The movie is not about that at all.  It's about gay kids.

Halloween in Australia is in the spring, near the end of the school year, and Golden Boy Corey (Tobey Wallace) is going to be graduating.  He has been offered a scholarship to study photography at the University of New York, but he plans to stay home to be close to his friends, especially Janko (Justin Holborow).

On Halloween night, Corey and his pack go out, like they always do, to wear scary masks and brutalize the weaker kids.  During a break in the wilding, Corey walks through an abandoned skate park, and finds Jonah (Gulliver McGrath), a former friend who he abandoned for his clique of jerks.  Jonah is injured, bleeding, staring.

Does he need first aid?  Does he need an ambulance?  No, Jonah just wants one thing: "Walk me home," he demands, apparently a practice that they engaged in many times in the old days.  Corey agrees, for old time's sake, because he's worried about Jonah's injury, because he feels guilty.  Because he has no choice.

On the way home, Jonah forces Corey to act out ghost stories:
1. In a tunnel: A girl was murdered there, and doesn't realize that she's dead.

2. In an abandoned house: A boy abandoned his dreams, and years later they came back to haunt him.

3. In their school: Jonah himself discovered that most of the boys in class had turned into wolves.  "And for those who didn't change, those left behind,those that didn't develop the taste for blood, there was only one thing you could do...run."

Suddenly the years melt away, and Corey and Jonah are friends again. They visit the Wishing Tree, where all of their childhood dreams are hanging from branches, and wonder why they ever gave up so much.

For some reason, Corey insists on taking a break from their walk home to have sex with his girlfriend.  When he returns, Jonah is missing.  Corey goes to his house, but there's no one there but an old man who won't speak.  Finally he finds him at a strange Dia de los Muertos festival, and chases him into the woods. 

Then Jonah tells one last ghost story, about a man you meet twice in your life.  The first time, you don't remember.  The second, you never forget.

Eventually they will have to finish the walk home.  Corey resists, knowing what he will find there (we viewers know, too, of course.  It's been obvious since Story #1).  Maybe he could change the ending? No, it's too late.  They share a hug before Jonah shows him where he lives.

Jonah is gay -- we know because the bullies refer to him as a "fag" (the director cut scenes that show him actually dating boys).  Due to the sex-with-girlfriend interlude, we're expected to think of Corey as straight, their friendship as platonic.  But with the hugs and almost-kisses of Jonah and then Janko, I'm sure that Corey is gay, the possibility of same-sex desire abandoned on that Wishing Tree as the "adult" world of heteronormative responsibility encroached.

Besides, there's a coda with Corey living his dream in New York, having a video chat with girlfriend-turned-gal pal, talking about a freelance photography gig, then putting on a hot gladiator costume to head down to Halloween in the Village, the second gayest festival of the year.  His apartment features a gigantic photo of Jonah.

The movie is beautifully produced, with stunning imagery and stunningly evocative dialogue.  Of course, many of Jonah's lines would never be spoken by a real person, but then, Jonah isn't actually a person, is he?

"They won't let us go forward."
"Then let's go back, where the dreams are true."

Tarzan Cosplay

Feel like dressing up like Tarzan for Halloween, or for the next sci-fi convention?

There are some problems with the idea.

1. Tarzan doesn't really have a recognizable costume.  He wears a loincloth, like many barbarian heroes.  Your audience might not know which you mean.

You might alleviate that problem by wearing a dreadlock wig, to resemble the Disney Tarzan.

If you already have long hair, problem solved.

2.  You'll be wearing that loincloth all night, in the cold.  Maybe a nice wool sash will help.


















3. You have to have a muscular physique.  There are fake muscles on sale, but they look sort of ridiculous on anyone older than 12.

More after the break.

Fun Size: Nickelodeon Sex Comedy with Gay Characters

American movies and tv programs aimed at a juvenile audience are aggressively heterosexist, screaming hysterically in every episode "Heterosexual desire is universal!" and "Gay people absolutely do not exist!"  Nickelodeon's Fun Size (2012) got away with gay characters only because they were minor, adult, and female, and did not detract from the furious heterosexual machinations of the teens.

Oh, and because the movie got a PG-13 rating: Parents Strongly Cautioned!  Children under age 13 could be traumatized by discovering that gay people exist!

It's a Halloween-themed movie ("Fun Size" refers to the miniature candy bars people pass out to trick-or-treaters).

Wren (Victoria Justice of Victorious) has been invited to a big, cool Halloween party thrown by Aaron (Thomas McDonnell, left), the hunk she is crushing on.

But on the way, her younger brother Albert gets lost in a sea of trick-or-treaters, and she has to find him.  She enlists her best friend April (Jane Levy) and two nerds, Roosevelt (Thomas Mann) and Peng (Osric Chau, left), who have crushes on them.  Guess who hooks up?

Meanwhile Albert gets involved with Fuzzy (Thomas Middleditch), who is plotting to toilet-paper his ex-girlfriend's house in revenge after she breaks up with him to date the jerk Jorgen (Johnny Knoxville).  Not to worry, Fuzzy finds a new girl.

In fact, the only one who doesn't hook up is little Albert.  Which is surprising, since in contemporary juvenile media, 8-year olds are usually portrayed as just as hetero-horny as teens.

There's a lackluster gay subtext between Roosevelt and Peng, and some beefcake, such as Josh Pence (left) as Wren's mother's twink boyfriend.

You also get to see Fuzzy naked.

And the gay characters: Roosevelt's two Moms, an oddball lesbian couple who will allow him to borrow the family car only if he can ask in Ancient Greek (he misses the word for "seat belt").

Not enough to detract from the unyielding heterosexism of this Nickelodeon sex comedy.