Revival: The dead return in small-town Wisconsin, with zombies, a gay character, a lot of hunks, and four d*cks

 

Link to the d*cks

Netflix just dropped a tv series called Revival, with an icon of a woman "under conviction," heading to the altar?  Sounds cool.

When I was growing up in the Nazarene Church, hearing the same preacher screaming about the same topics (the Second Coming, The Book of Jor-shua, Homa-Sekshuls) three times a week for month after month got a little tedious.  So twice a year we invited an evangelist in for a week-long "revival" to get us revved up again.

Scene 1: Christmastime at the crematorium of Wausau, Wisconsin.  Randy the Creepy Mortician (Graeme Barrett) wheels a cremation box past a dead girl while a female reporter sets up.   He explains the procedure, but wonders if anyone really cares about a story on cremation.  

"It's a piece on unusual jobs, so..."

Suddenly warning lights flash, and inside the dead guy starts yelling "Let me out!"   As the mortician tries to override the system, the door bursts open, and the dead guy jumps out, covered in flames. He runs around screaming.  The corpses in the other chambers are screaming and yelling to be let out, and someone in a body bag sits up. 

Wait -- this isn't about church revivals, it's about the dead coming back to life!  

Scene 2:  Sheriff Wayne (David James Elliot, d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) is arguing with his grown daughter, Dana: "This ain't my fault!  You've been running ever since you fumbled the Black Deer case!"  

"I'm doing what's best for me and Cooper!  After all we've been through..."  

The Sheriff gets a phone call, but can't deal with it, because he's trying to guilt his daughter into not moving away.

But the phone starts ringing "off the hook." "You'll have to come back to work --- it's an emergency.  Go see Randy the Creepy Mortician." 

Scene 3: Dana drives through the rainy December night, listening to 10-33 (emergency) calls.  Suddenly she screeches to a stop, staring in horror.  A bunch of people in suits are walking through the cemetery toward her, asking what's going on.  A n*ked man rushes by (he was buried without clothes).    A little girl wants to know where her mommy is.

Scene 4: TV report: It's been about a month since Revival Day, December 18th, and Mayor Ken (Conrad Coates, n*de on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends) is finally lifting the lockdown order, but the town is still under quarantine while the CDC investigates the 47 people who revived.  All of them died during the two week period before Revival Day.  I looked it up.  In a town the size of Wausau, Wisconsin, about ten people will die during any two-week period.  This is way too many.

Cut to the Mayor interviewing one of the Revivers.  He felt pain in his arm, collapsed, and then he was in the funeral home, as if no time passed.  

Cut to Dana taking a gross milky bath.  Her friend comes in and complains that: she was supposed to visit her brother at Northwestern, not get quarantined with zombies; a girl she hates was revived; Dana never cleans up; and the lockdown is over, so get out!

Time to send her son Cooper to school.  The mean, aggressive, barbaric boys make fun of the girl who revived, but Cooper thinks she's nice. (Heterosexual identity established at age 11).

Left: Hudson Wurster (Cooper) has a femme affect, but he is surrounded by girls in most of his Instagram photos, so I'm going to identify him as straight.

Scene 5: Nellie's Bar.  Dana stumbles out, smooching with a guy (I can't find him in the cast list). They jump into her cop car and fumble around, trying to do it through heavy coats.  Then the Sheriff calls: she has to go investigate a dead horse.

"So, can I call you?" The hookup asks.  "Sure."  But she doesn't give her number.

Cut to the dead horse, on the property of a rich jerk who writes books about how to live to 100 (cut out red meat, and walk a lot).  There's also a dead coyote on his property, and some small objects that Dana finds disturbing.  I can't tell what they are.

Scene 6: Dana arrives at the sheriff's office, which is swamped by people wanted to know if their loved ones were revived. We meet several quirky small-town deputies, including McCray (Nathan Dales, top photo), a condescending jerk with bad breath; and her ally, Gunderson (Mark Little), "quirky, kind-hearted, the lead bowler of the Pinsconsin Pride."  

Dana wants the list of the Revived, but the Sheriff won't let anyone else see it.  In other news, she's been assigned a partner, and Gunderson calls him "a cutie patootie."  Gay identity established instantly.

Left: Mark Little seems to be straight in real life, but he is inclusive in his comedy routine.  Among the phrases he suggests for "the nonchalant man" to say during bedroom stuff: "Whoa, buddy, that was awesome."

In his office, the Sheriff is arguing with the Mayor about bringing in a guy from the CDC to help investigate the Revived. Shouldn't they have done that weeks ago?  

 More after the break

Alex Pettyfer: A teenage buddy-bond, then a career of meeting The Girl in a gay-free universe. At least he's super-sized

I found several n*de photos of Alex Pettyfer, who I recall vaguely from the 2000s.  Didn't he play a gay teenager at one point?  So I'll start the research.  

Link to the super size

Alex was born in 1990 in Stevenage, Hertfordshire, about 30 miles from London.  His parents were stage actors making the rounds of West End theatres.  His career began at age seven, when fashionista Ralph Lauren met him in a toy store and chose him to be the face of British youth.  

Several schools followed.  I don't know if Alex kept flunking out, or being sent down for pranks, but eventually he ended up at the Sylvia Young Theatre School in London, and landed his first on-screen role, Tom Brown's School Days (2005).

Movie versions of the 1857 novel by Thomas Hughes are usually rather open about the romances of macho, athletic boarding school boy with snobbish intellectual East (played by Jimmy Lydon, left, and Freddie Bartholomew, center, in 1940).  Alex's version tones down the buddy-bonding in favor of a mentoring relationship with the headmaster (Stephen Frye).  Plus he flirts with a girl.

I'm a little disappointed, but maybe the gay roles come later.

Alex Rider: Stormbreaker (2006)?  It was supposed to be the start of a series based on Anthony Horowitz's novels about a 14 year old spy.  But the reviews were awful, so it was dropped. Spoiler alert: Alex gets a girlfriend.  

Left: Otto Farrant played Alex Rider in the tv series.  He gets a girlfriend, too.

Wild Child (2008)?  A spoiled rich girl is sent to a stuff British boarding school.  Alex (Pettyfer) plays her "love interest."  Why do they call it a "love interest" instead of "heterosexist propaganda"?

This shot from Tormented (2009) looks like Alex is hugging a boyfriend, but he's actually bullying a boy.  The boy dies, then returns from the dead to get his revenge on the popular kids who "tormented" him.  Bradley plays one of the popular kids; he does stuff with his girlfriend, and then gets his junk torn off.

Alex's backside is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

More after the break

The Pontius Gemstone Horror Picture Show, with Stacy, Frank, Rocky, and a special appearance by Dolly Parton

 

Gay icons Dolly Parton and Tim Curry (Frank in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show") both died on August 25th, 2026. so I wanted to find some way to get them both in the same story, and Pontius and Stacy from "The Righteous Gemstones" seemed ideal as a modern-day Brad and Janet. 

Link to the NSFW version

There’s a light at the Frankenstein place

 It was dark, it was raining, the narrow country road was heading nowhere, and on the radio, there was something about demolishing the Washington Monument to build a 50-foot tall golden statue. 

"Turn that junk off!” Stacy told his boyfriend Pontius.  “I’m tired, I’m cold, and I’m not in the mood.”

 “Ok, ok, chill, Stace.  How about Dolly Parton?”

 “Your Grandpa’s bff?”

“She was actually my Grandma’s bff.  They recorded an album together.”  Pontius didn’t like to talk about his family much, because it was so complicated – and seedy. It seemed like someone with a grudge against his granddad, world-famous Evangelical preacher Eli Gemstone, showed up every single year.  There were kidnappings, murders, assassins on bikes.  He actually met Stacy when the guy was shoot by a serial killer targeting Grandad Eli.  

“Go ahead, put on some Dolly,” Stacy told him.  “ She always cheers me up.”

Pontius pulled up the “Greatest Hits” album his phone and sighed as she began “Two Doors Down.”

 It had been a bad day from the start.  Well, not waking up with Stacy in his arms at the Charlotte Hilton.   Breakfast was ok.  But the last session in the Queer Youth Conference was bogus, all about handling internalized homophobia and religious guilt.  It was 2026.  Who felt guilty about being gay or bi anymore?  They wouldn’t have gone at all, but they promised to report to Uncle Kelvin, who was running the queer youth ministry at the Salvation Center.

They got a late start, and then they had to detour around Columbia, and then they took a wrong turn onto an endless country road in rural South Carolina.  No mile markers, and the GPS wasn’t even working.   

Crunch!  A flat tire.  Of course!  Stacy pulled over to the side of the road.

 “Do you have roadside assistance?” he asked.

 “Sure. but…no bars.  I can’t call.”  He hesitated.  “ I’m a poor litle rich boy – we had drivers, chauffeurs, and auto mechanics on staff, so I never learned how to do anything but get gas – maybe.  I don’t suppose you know how to change a flat tire?”

 Stacy giggled.  “Do I look  know anything about cars?”

“I don’t know,” Pontius said.  “When I look at you, all I can see is how hot you are.”   He drew Stacy in for a kiss.

“Hey, didn’t we pass a castle a few miles back?  We could stop by and see if they have cell phone reception.  Or maybe they have a land line.”

“A castle in South Carolina, Stace?”

 He shrugged.  “Maybe it’s part of a Medieval Times restaurant, or a miniature golf course.  Anyway, unless you have a better idea….”

The “castle” was more like one of those counry mansions built by the robber barons in the 19th century, all Gothic spires, with a central tower and a greenhouse dome.  When they knocked, a middle aged man, balding but with long blond hair, answered the door and said “Hello” in a weird faux-British accent.

“Hi, I’m Pontius, and this is my boyfriend Stacy."

He stared.  “You can call me…Riff Raff.”

 “Underdog role playing -- cool!  So, Riff Raff, our car broke down.  Could we use your phone to call a tow truck?”

 He continued to stare.  “Hmm…I think you’d better ask the Master about that.”

 The Master?  Pontius nudged Stacy.  Were these guys into a BDSM master-slave relationship?

He led them through the parlor, past a huge assortment of Goth  relics – stone gargoyles, a statue of a bear, a skeleton in a coffin.  The Master must be a Heavy Metal rocker.

“You’re very lucky that the Master is home tonight. Usually he’s out with his…um…affairs.” 

“You’re lucky!” came a voice from above – It was a woman with frizzy black hair, dressed in a maid’s outfit, sliding down the staircase bannister!  “I’m lucky, we’re all lucky, ha ha ha!”

 When she got to the base, she curtseyed. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Huh?”

 “Magenta!  My name is your favorite color, Magenta! Like pink, but hotter!”

 “Oh – I was going to say blue,” Pontius told her.  “I’m digging the French maid outfit, but your accent is slipping.  It sounds Eastern European.”

 “It’s Transylvanian!  We're aliens from the planet Transylvania."  She paused expectantly.  Did she think they would be surprised?

"Cool," Pontius said, covering a yawn.  "My brother dated Jimmy Olsen, who works for the Daily Planet, and one time in Metropolis he introduced us to..."

"Shall we continue?" Riff Raff interrupted.  "It's astounding -- time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll."

 Through two more knicknack-filled rooms and into a space that looked like a ballroom. 

 “The Master will be down presently,” Riff Raff said.  “He’ll want you out of those rain-soaked clothes.”  He started pulling off Pontius’s shirt, and unzipping his pants.   The maid Magenta did the same with Stacy. 

 A blond hunk fumbling with his shirt?  His cell phone had bars now, but calling a tow truck could wait….

 Stacy was not as enthusiastic about Magenta. “Wait a minute – I’m gay!  Could I get Riff Raff? My boyfriend Pontius is bi – maybe he’ll be into the French maid scene.”

 She sneered. “Transylvanian maid.  But you can relax, femme boy.  I just like to watch.  In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention, well secluded, I see all.”

 “Ok, then, we’ll both take Riff Raff,” Pontius said.  He reached down and tried to fondle his chest, but the blond dude pushed his hand away. 

The Sweet Transvestite

With a loud clank, an old fashioned elevator descended, and out came a hot guy in a dominatrix outfit, with fishnet stockings, high heels, pearls, glam makeup and an old-time movie star hairdo.  Pontius nudged Stacy “Dibs.”

The Master began to sing: Don’t get strung out by the way I look – don’t judge a book by its cover.  I’m not much of a man by the light of day…

“Don’t say that,” Pontius interrupted.  “There’s nothing wrong with being femme.  Actually, I prefer femme boys.”  He put his arm around Stacy.

 “Um…ok….I’m just a sweet transvestite from  transsexual Transylvania..”

 “Not cool, dude,” Stacy said.  “Those oldster terms are offensive.  You’re a drag queen, not a transvestite, and it's transgender, not transsexual.  And how can everybody on a whole planet be trans?"

 “It's just a song, ok?"

Pontius held out his hand.  "I'm Pontius, and this is my boyfriend Stacy."

"Charmed.  My name would be too complicated for your tiny human minds to comprehend, so you can call me Frank.  Frank N Furter.”

 Pontius and Stacy both started giggling.  “You’re an advanced alien species, and that’s all you could come up with?” Stacy said. 

 “Do you have a brother named Meat Loaf?” Pontius asked.

Frank glared at Riff Raff.  “Um…have you met my boy toy, Rocky?   When I was just a sweet young thing, I built a man...with blond hair and a tan.  He’s good for relieving my…tensions.”

  Rocky was a silver fox muscleman, in his 50s, wearing only a golden jockstrap.  He flexed as he walked.

 Stacy nudged Pontius. “Dibs.”

Rocky held out his hand and grunted.  

"I'm afraid my man is nonverbal.  I never could get the esophagus right, but everything else works.  A deltoid and a bicep, a hot groin and a tricep makes me...shake.  Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the..."

 “We have a flat tire, “ Pontius began.  “We came in to use your phone, but we have bars now, so we can be on our way.  Unless…” he said hopefully.

Frank began to sing: Why don’t you stay for the night? I could get you both rooms. We could listen to some Dolly Parton tunes. Or if you want something visual, that’s pretty groovy, We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

“Who?”

More after the break

13 Writers and Artists of the Romantic Era That You Didn't Know Were Gay

When I was studying for my M.A. in English I had to select two adjacent historical eras for my Comprehensive Exams.  The problem is, gay content seems to go up and down, a homophobic wasteland (Medieval, Restoration-Augustan, early Victorian) followed by a period of homoerotic exuberance (Renaissance, Romantic, late Victorian).

For my first period, I chose the Victorian Era (1830-1910), mostly because the professor of my graduate seminar, was gay-- or at least we thought he was.  For my second period, I chose the Romantic Era (1770-1830), because the poets were young and cute, and their lives seemed informed by homosocial and homoerotic bonds.  Later I discovered that several were gay in real life. 

The top 13 gay or gay-subtext literary figures:

1. Hugh Walpole  (1717-1797), who built a pseudo-Medieval castle, Strawberry Hill, to entertain the A-list gays of the early Romantic era.

 2. and 3. The Ladies of Llangollen, Eleanor Charlotte Butler (1739-1829) and Sarah Ponsonby (1755-1831), who eloped, set up housekeeping, and entertained many of the artistic and literary greats of the era.

4. Thomas Chatterton (1752-1770), who forged a series of Medieval poems during his teens, and upset over his lack of recognition, committed suicide.  Many of the other Romantic poets revered him as a beautiful youth martyred by an uncomprehending world. He has only appeared on screen once, in a 1970 German movie, played by Ulrich Faulhaber.

 5. William Blake (1757-1822), who advocated for "free love" and illustrated his poetry with lovingly-detailed, super-muscular male nudes

 6. William Beckford  (1760-1844), who built his own pseudo-Medieval castle, Lansdowne Tower, where he kept his huge art collection. 

7. William Wordsworth (1770-1850) and 8. Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834), who roomed together and walked across England together (in the company of William's sister Dorothy).In Pandaemonium (2000), they are played by John Hannah and Linus Roach.

9. George Gordon, Lord Byron (1788-1824), who hung out with attractive men, especially Greeks and Italians, and shared a house in Rome with fellow poet Percy Shelley. I hadn't yet read Byron and Greek Love (1985), but I thought Manfred highly homoerotic.  In Gothic (1986), Byron was played by Gabriel Byrne (seen here holding hands with Shelley, played by Julian Sand).

10. Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822), who cohabitated with Byron and wrote Adonais to mourn the death of the beautiful young poet John Keats (check out the beefcake in the Star Trek episode "Who Mourns for Adonais". Besides, his wife, Mary Shelley, wrote Frankenstein.  In Frankenstein Unbound (1990), a scientist goes back in time to meet Shelley (gay performer Michael Hutchence, top photo) and the real Victor Frankenstein (Raul Julia).

11. Sir Edward Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), who introduced the gay-coded Dandy to England.

12. John Keats (1795-1821), whose love for Charles Armitage Brown overwhelmed his love for Fanny Brawne (which was never consummated), and wrote of pure beauty much more often than the beauty of women.  In Bright Star (2009), which makes the romantic triangle overt, Keats is played by gay actor Ben Whishaw (left), and Brown by Paul Schneider.

13. Gay artist Henry Fuseli.

Frankenstein, vampires, gay subtexts, and beefcake.  It beats boring, 800-page long Victorian novels about who is in love with whom.

The Real Zack Gottsagen gets n*ked with Shia LaBeouf, plays a lot of gay-adjacent dudes. With Shia and Eli Roth d*cks and Dashiell's boyfriend

 

Link to the n*de photos

Football player Sam Roush is the last guy I researched for this profile, but I'm putting him first because why wouldn't I?

Now down to business: I don't have enough profiles of disabled actors, so I checked some lists of deaf, CP, and Down Syndrome actors, looking for someone cute, male, and gay.  The Real Zack G popped up, wishing us Happy Pride.  Notice the "Love is Love" pillow behind him. 

Promising, but  he also marched in a Martin Luther King Day parade, so maybe he's just an ally.

After I figure out the guy's last name, I'll check the usual: Any gay roles?  Gay in real life?  Any n*de...

Looks like that one's been taken care of.  There's two n*de and underwear photos on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends.  

His name is Zack Gottsagen, and his most famous role is in The Peanut Butter Falcon (198().  I didn't see it, because who cares about falcons made of peanut butter, or guys running around with watermelon rind helmets?

Actually, it's about a guy who breaks out of an assisted living facility to attend a wrestling school -- his pro name will be the Peanut Butter Falcon of the title.

He befriends a fisherman on the run from his rivals.  Eventually they hook up with sympathetic social worker Eleanor, and "start a new life as a family," so I'm assuming that it's a fraternal bond, not a gay-subtext romance.

The fisherman buddy is played by the homophobic Shia LaBeouf (d*ck on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends),  so definitely a fraternal bond.

Zack Gottsagen grew up in Boynton Beach, Florida, with two moms -- who "have nothing but good things to say about Shia LaBeauf," according to a profile in The Sun-Sentinel.  Maybe the dude has changed?

More after the break

Which Ben R. has the monster? The gay German singer, the short guy from Seattle, the n*de ikigai guy, the golf pro..

 This will be fun.  A guy named Ben R. is showing us his monster equipment (last name censored because he's not an actor).  There are at least 30 Ben R.'s with Instagram, Facebook, or Linkedin pages. Your job is to figure out which one has the third leg, based on the visual cues and biographical data.

Link to the n*de photos

Here are the ten Bens to choose from:

1. A gay singer from Freiburg, Germany.

I'm not into skinny guys, but I heard that they tend to be oversized.

2. Right: An ambassador for Christ in Christchurch, New Zealand, originally from Iowa.  

Nice look, buddy, but do ambassadors for Christ usually post adult pics?

3. Far right:A student at the University of Arizona, originally from Colorado, in the Kappa Epsilon fraternity.

You don't need to be gifted beneath the belt if you've got muscle.

4. A student at Mansfield University in Ohio, on the basketball team.  

The goggle glasses give him a cute teen-nerd vibe. I'll bet he's got a lot going on down there.

5. A graduate of Indiana University who now works as a rates trader in New York.

I don't know what a rates trader is, but he looks good in a suit.

More after the break

Airport Chaplain: Rebel cop...er, chaplain, job squabbles, personal angst, and eight gay guys, some with d*cks (Max has two)

. 

Link to the n*de dudes

When Airport Chaplain (2026) popped up on my Netflix recommendations, I was curious: I didn't even know that airport chaplain was a job.  Who needs pastoral counseling when they're awaiting their flight to San Diego?  So we'll check out the first episode.

 

We open with establishing shots of an an airport.  A hoodied person runs fast past Security Guard Ziv, who yells "Oi!  Stop, mate!"  I'm guessing this is England.  (Update: It's actually Australia) 

Gay Guy #1: Elias Anton (Ziv), backside on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends, starred with Thom Green (below) in the queer romance Of an Age (2022). 

Cute guy in the security station is monitoring the sitch. As the Chaplain gives money to a homeless person, he is notified of the runner and heads toward the International Terminal. 

He grabs the runner -- it's just a kid -- and calls off security.  The kid talks to him in Spanish -- which doesn't appear on the subtitles, darn it -- so the Chaplain runs off  to the the cleaner's trolley outside the Prayer Room, grabs a plush toy, and rushes back past Border Control without getting it scanned.  Border Control Johnny is hesitant, but Chaplain says it's an emergency.    

Gay Guy #2: Thomas Weatherall (Johnny), top photo, played a gay high schooler on Heartbreak High.

Gay Guy #3: Hugo Weaving (the Chaplain) is best known as the drag queen Tick in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) and Elrond in the Lord of the Rings movies.

The Chaplain gets the kid to his Buenos Aires flight (the toy actually belongs to his baby sister).   Problem solved.  So that's what airport chaplains do.  I figured they would, you know, pray with people.

I checked online: most large airports, even in the U.S., have full-time or volunteer chaplains. The fliers and their loved ones aren't just grumbling over the long lines and cancelled flights; they are often going through emotional crises, and need someone to talk to -- or pray with.  

Cut to the Chaplain in his office, with a real snake, stuffed birds, and drawings from kids saying thank you for retrieving their teddy bears. He's handling the case of Nino, who needs his flight re-booked because he wasn't allowed on the plane with his pet dog.  Maybe the Chaplain or his wife can look after him while he's away?  (Heterosexual identity established at Minute 5).

The terminal manager comes in to complain that he was canned for poor reviews.  He's old, but he doesn't want to stay home, with a wife who's always either "hot or angry." (Heterosexual identity established immediately.)

"By the way, the new Terminal Manager won't approve of rebel cops...um, I mean chaplains...who have unconventional methods and ignore the rule book."

Next, the Chaplain is called to the case of Alex Zhang, an Australian citizen returning from Shanghai.  His father died on the the flight, so the passengers are understandably upset.  The Chaplain calls Border Control Johnny to ensure that he gets through customs quickly, and Head Baggage Handler Lex to ensure that the body is taken to the holding area..  

Gay Guy #4:  Queer actor Erroll Shand (Lex) played a closeted lawyer in Outrageous Fortunes, and a gay prince in Our Flag Means Death and 

The Chaplain goes down to the holding area to comfort Alex, who is on an "I'm very important!" business call.  Not grieving much, are you , buddy?

He explains the procedure: get an ok from the coroner, then transport the body to a funeral home.  Alex hadn't thought of that.  Not on your ten-hour flight from Shanghai to Melbourne?

"So...um...were you and your father close?"

"Not really.  Pardon -- work call."

"Would you like me to...um...pray for him?"  

"We're Buddhist."  Chaplain takes that as an invitation, and says a Buddhist prayer over the coffin.

Back to the office, where Border Security Johnny is hanging out with -- and flirting with -- Nino the Dog Guy.

Gay Guy #5: Queer actor Nicholas Denton (Nino) played gay or gay-vague characters in Dangerous Liaisons and the vampire drama Talamasca. 

Chaplain has a solution to the dog problem: Crate him and transport him in the hold.  It will cost an extra $2,400 ($1,700 U.S.).

"Nope, can't afford it.  Besides, it would be cruel to crate him for such a long flight.

More gay guys after the break

"Dolly Parton's Heartstrings": The Gay Couple Two Doors Down

 

Dolly Parton, who died in August 2026, was a vocal gay ally, so it's not surprising that "Two Doors Down," an episode of her Netflix series, Dolly Parton's Heartstrings  featured a coming out story for Evangelical audiences.  It won a GLAAD Award in 2020, so let's take a look. 

Intro: Dolly explains that when she wrote the song "Two Doors Down" in 1977, she was on the road a lot, away from her family, but she found a new family with her crew, which was composed of "all kinds of people: different colors, gay, lesbian, transgender, different faiths, but we all loved each other.  Love is love."  

Scene 1: Singing "Two Doors Down," naturally, Ty (Broadway actor Andy Mientus) drives down country roads "to the place I belong" (sorry, wrong song). Switch to Mom busily micro-managing his sister Lee's upcoming wedding, and wondering why she looks so miserable. Could it be...Mom butting in?

Scene 2: They all arrive at the elegant hotel in the South.  I thought they would be hillbillies, but Mom is loaded!  Mom tells Ty that he's sure to get a lot of attention from the ladies at the wedding, because her Gay is buying his outfit: "that's the one thing gays are good for, right?  Fashion!"  

Estranged Dad (Ray McKinnon) arrives.  Now that's a hillbilly!  He looks like he just finished huntin' possums with Jed Clampett (there actually is a dead deer in the back of his truck).

Scene 3: Ty discusses his secret with his boyfriend, the uber-swishy Cole (Michael J. Willett), who coincidentally is the wedding planner.  "As you know, Dear, I'm not out to my family, due to Mom's homophobia.  When marriage equality arrived, she said it was the end of the world.  But I'm going to tell them all this weekend." During your sister's wedding? Wouldn't that be stealing the spotlight?

Back story: they are having a long-distance relationship problem. Cole lives in Atlanta, and Ty lives in Athens, 72 miles away.  

Ulp, Cole hides in the closet as Mom comes in.  She discusses the life-threatening Steel Magnolias disease that she had last year, which left her "a sentimental puddle," so she really wants Ty to find a girl.  

Scene 4:  In the absurdly elegant parlor, Sister and her fiance Digby are discussing their secret: "As you know, Sweetheart, after the wedding we are leaving small-town Atlanta for Los Angeles so I can pursue my acting career.  Don't tell Mom!"  Digby?

Scene 5: Mom and Estranged Dad discuss their secret: "As you know, Dumbbell, we hate each other.  I think you're a country bumpkin, and you think I'm a rich snob.  We're going to get a divorce.  But don' t tell the kids!" Uh-oh, dark secrets all the way down.

Scene 6: Ty comes out to Sister in the stupidest way possible: "Seeing you and Digby so happy has made me realize that I'm happy, too.  So happy that you might say I'm...gay."  

Sister is proud of him for having the courage to come out. Digby?  How did the poor guy survive middle school?  "You can tell Dad, but don't tell Mom.  She'll stick her head in the oven." 

Sister tells Ty her secret about moving.  Whoops, for a wedding present, Mom and Dad bought them a house in Atlanta, so how can they move to L.A.? 

Scene 7:  Sister trying on wedding dresses with Ty's boyfriend Cole and her gal pal, Mim Tinkelpaugh (and I thought Digby got bullied a lot!).  

Gal Pal Mim is trying to get with Ty.  Sister explains that he's...um...seeing someone, har har.

Mom comes in to complain about Cousin Renee (Aidan Langford) doing something weird "with her bridesmaid's dress."  Sister explains that they have come out as nonbinary, and prefer the name Ren.  Mom huffs: "More LGBT XYZ nonsense!  You give me one week with her, and I'll straighten her out!"

More after the break.