Apr 1, 2021
Fall 1982: The Gayellow Pages
But the gay characters appeared in movies and tv programs that I wasn't allowed to watch, the gay books did not appear on the shelves in any library or bookstore that I had access to, and the nearest Gay Pride Parade was in Chicago.
I knew about gay bars, bath houses, and adult bookstores, but I had never been in one. I knew about pornographic magazines. And that's all. I figured that since being gay was illegal (it wasn't, at least not in Illinois), there couldn't be any organizations or publications, no community, nothing except clandestine closet bars and porn magazines.
In the fall of 1982, I began graduate school in Bloomington, Indiana. On the night of September 25th, I went to an adult bookstore near the campus and asked "Do you have anything gay?", hoping for some porn. I got got copies of Mandate, In Touch, and Christopher Street, and a directory called the Gayellow Pages.
There were 16 listings for Madison, Wisconsin. 6 bars, 2 bookstores, a community center, two health services, a legal service, a liquor store, a religious group, a place called "the soap opera," and a women's center.
Kicking myself for not going to the University of Wisconsin, I looked up Bloomington. A little more sparse: a bar called Bullwinkle's, a women's center, and a gay student group. When I called the student group, I got the message: "All conversations are recorded and delivered to the police," so I hung up quickly to avoid being arrested. But still, it was obvious that there were many more gay people than I ever imagined, and they were much more organized than I ever thought possible.
Mar 31, 2021
"The Irregulars": Hetero-Horny Hunks Hired by a Heterosexual Sherlock Holmes
In the original Sherlock Holmes stories, there are a few scattered references to the "Baker Street Irregulars," street urchins that Holmes occasionally hires to gather information. The hundreds of movie and tv adaptions of the stories have barely mentioned the Irregulars, so I was pleasantly surprised to see a Netflix tv series centering on them.
Scene 1: Jesse, a teenage girl in a Victorian-style nightgown, wanders through the woods encountering skeletons and monsters. Suddenly she wakes up -- just a dream! She awakens Bea, the girl she is sleeping with, and asks "Am I losing it?" The anacrhonistic slang is annoying, but two teenage girls sleeping together, one white, one Asian -- they must be girlfriends!
Whoops, no. In the morning, Jesse, knowing that Bea is "desperate to find a boyfriend," gifts her with some French perfume. "Just two sprays, and any man will want to make sweet love to you." More anachronistis slang, and the heteronormative assumption that no gay men exist. Ugh!
Noticing that Billy and Spike are missing, Bea rushes out into the horrible Dickensian slums that lie just beyond the glamorous world of St. Paul's Cathedral and Kensington Palace. She pauses to sneer at 221B Baker Street, and r ushes into an underground fight club, where Billy (JoJo Macari) is making money by getting pummelled by bruisers. Spike (McKell David) complains "I'm too pretty to be here. My handsomeness makes me a target/" For rape? Is he worried about sexual assault because he's homophobic, or because he's gay?
Scene 2: A feminine young man (Harrison Osterfield) stands in a palatial bedroom. Maybe he's gay, one of Oscar Wilde's green carnation crowd? He looks out onto the lawn, where a cricket game is going on, and sees a man and a woman kissing and a lady adjusting her garter. Hetero-horniness! I'm getting tired of this!
Turns out that he's Prince Leopold, Queen Victoria's youngest son (born 1853), kept inside all the time because of his hemophilia (in the show it's because of a "turned ankle"). For his birthday present, all he wants is to be allowed to leave the palace for a day.
Cut to Leopold and his valet, Daimier (Edward Hogg), in a carriage going through the city. This isn't what he meant!
Scene 3: Bea yelling at Billy about his street fighting, while staring lustfully at his bare chest. He was just trying to make money: they're two months overdue with the rent, and Jesse needs a psychiatrist (nope, not invented yet).
Spike tells about a dream where he's in the bath with an eel, which finds its way into his...more anxiety over anal sex. Maybe he's gay.
Meanwhile Jesse wanders out into the street. The others follow, and save her from being trampled by Prince Leopold's carriage. Daimier the Vallet rushes out to yell at her for almost inconveniencing the Prince and not respecting "her betters." This causes a row-- these kids are from the future, and don't accept the class distinctions that everyone accepted without question 150 years ago. The Prince is mesmerized.
Scene 4: Bea at her mother's grave, discussing Jesse's dreams and sleepwalking. What if she's going crazy, like their mum? Suddenly a well-dressed man approaches. Bea runs away, but he follows her all the way home. His name is Watson (Royce Pierreson), and he "wants something" from her, for which he will pay.
Scene 5: He brings Bea to a rented room, and says "What happens here will remain between us." If I didn't know the character already, I'd assume that he wants to pay her for sex. Why doesn't she think so?
Actually, he and his "business associate" Sherlock Holmes want to hire her to investigate a case.
Business associate? Ok, you want us to know that you and Holmes aren't romantic partners. You're both heterosexual. That leaves Spike, with his visions of anal intrusion.
Four newborn babies have been stolen from locked rooms in the middle of the night. The latest had a teenage sister sleeping in the same room. The sister has since run away. Since Watson and Holmes are not familiar with the haunts of teenage runaways, they need Bea to find her.
Scene 6: The gang starts working on the case. Spike appears in a lavender suit -- ok, definitely gay -- and announces that he knows where the girl is. He got the intel from his friend Pete, who owes him because he found his lost dog.
Billy: "Pete didn't lose his dog. You stole it when you were trying to impress that girl who loves animals."
Spike is hetero, too? I'm outta here.
Beefcake: Billy takes his shirt off. Some of the bruisers at the fight club are hot.
Other sights: Just an elaborate sound stage.
Anachronisms: The street kids act and talk like it's 2021. I keep expecting them to whip out their cell phones.
Gay teases: Lots.
Gay characters: No!
Mar 28, 2021
"John Wick Chapter 2": Killing the Gay Villain but Not the Lesbian Bodyguard
Getting this photo of Riccardo Scarmacio was more interesting than watching the movie he starred in.
1. I got the odd spelling of both his first and last names wrong several times.
2. There are a lot of shirtless and bulge pictures of someone called a "Riccardo Scarmacio doppelganger." I knew that if I posted those, people would howl "It's not really him! My life is ruined!"
3. The only shirtless picture of him turned out to be a .wept file, which is useless, so I had to go to the original article and do a screen shot.
Was it worth it?
The movie: John Wick Chapter 2. Yes, Bob has ordered the entire series for Movie Nights.
You may recall from last week that John Wick (Keanu Reeves) was a retired hitman busily grieving his dead wife. Then a Russian mafioso killed his dog and stole his car. So John got revenge by killing him, and on the way, about 30,000 fellow hit men, body guards, and miscellaneous mafiosi, basically anyone with any connection to the Russian mob.
In Chapter 2, John barely has enough time to pick up his car, go home to his new dog, and grieve over his dead wife, when Santino (Ricardo -- see, I still can't spell it right), an Italian mafioso, drops by to ask for a favor. Not really a favor -- a token, a job impossible to refuse. He wants John to kill his sister, so he will inherit her seat on the Council of Twelve, the chief governing body of all organized crime in the world.
John refuses, so Santino blows up his house, and with it the memorabilia of his dead wife. Thankfully, his dog is fine.
John has no choice but to complete the assignment. He flies to Rome, checks into the hitperson hotel there, and goes shopping for a bulletproof suit (from Luca Mosca) and various firearms coded as wines (if you're actually showing him the gun and describing its features, why bother to pretend that it's a wine?) . Everyone is delighted to see him: "John, it's been a long time! Are you working again!"
Sister is celebrating her inauguration to the Council of Twelve with a giant party with pop legends singing and bishops offering their blessing. When she retreats to her private dressing room in the catacombs and sends her head bodyguard, Cassian (rap artist Common), away for some crazy reason, John sneaks in and gets the job done surprisingly easily. Of course, he has to shoot his way out through the catacombs and the party, killing about 300 bodyguards, mafiosi, and miscellaneous bystanders.
But not Cassian, who vows to kill him.
Now John plans to kill Santino to get revenge for his blown-up house and melted dead wife memorabilia. All of his underworld mentors and "It's been a long time!" buddies advise against it: Santino was following the code, so John has no legitimate grievance against him. But John won't listen. So Santino puts out a hit on him (they use a clever 1950s switchboard and old typewriters to put out the advertisements.)
When John gets back to New York, hit men and women of various sizes and shapes attack him, but he kills them all. He chases Santino through the corridors and exhibits of his museum, killing about 300 of his bodyguards and henchmen; but not Ares (Ruby Rose), his mute genderfluid head of security, who communicates in sign language. (I can understand John being fluent in ASL, Italian, Russian, English, and probably every other language -- he knows everything. But does Santino really require all of the thugs in his employ to be fluent in ASL?)
In the end John kills Santino in the Continental, the hitperson hotel, where "conducting business" is strictly forbidden. As a result, he is excommunicated: every hitperson across the world will be coming for him. Of course, he will kill them all, but that will have to wait for John Wick Chapter 3.
I liked this episode better than the original. The incessant "It's been a long time!" reunions were annoying -- I counted ten --and there was less beefcake. But there were also a lot fewer lady parts, far less killing, and only a few scenes of John grieving for his dead wife. Besides, Santino is probably gay. He holds court in a museum, not a strip club, he doesn't appear to have a wife or girlfriend, and he spends no time with ladies in hot tubs. And he hired a genderfluid lesbian for his head of security.