Kaleidoscope, #1 on Netflix, is a gimmick-caper tv series: audiences "enter at different points in the story." I don't know what algorithm decides what episode you start with, but mine started with lesbians.
Scene 1: An old guy in his underwear (Giancarlo Esposito) says things like "No one can succeed alone. You have to find a soul mate," while a woman researches Kate Soto: a lesbian, and into Dickens. She orchestrates a meet-cute with a copy of Little Dorritt, takes Kate out to dinner, and steals her id card, which she uses to steal $2 million from the vault at her offce. She and her partner Roger reports back to the boss. "We just walked out with this stuff. Your security is terrible. You need to buy one of our custom vaults."
I guess she was just pretending to be a lesbian to make the score, and Kate Soto won't appear again. All heterosexuals from here on out.
Scene 2: The old guy, Leo, examining a list of jobs for his upcoming heist: :break, security, chem, wheels, and so on. For "supplies," he goes with Stan (Peter Mark Kendall), a cute curly-haired guy unloading raw meat from a walk-in freezer while his mother and sister or girlfriend yell at him: "Your parrot shit in the kitchen again." He explains that he's going to use it in a complicated barter scheme. They continue yelling and criticizing him.(The raw meat is for the bird).
Scene 3: Stan at his job in a deli loaded down with piggy banks. Old Guy Leo enters; they hug enthusiastically. "What's up, boss?" Stan asks. He explains that he would love to go on a heist, but with Mom and sister or girlfriend yelling at him constantly, he's afraid to anger them further. "But it's 7 billion dollars." "I'm in!"
The heist: underground vault, plated steel, three cobalt doors, accessed through a secure subfloor, biometric sensors, military-trained security staff, where $7 billion in unsecured bonds are held. The owners are The Triplets, three sleazy bankers:
1. Cho-Young Woo, a young guy in a pimp outfit, drinking with ladies.
2. The elderly Suzanne Grosvenor, who has Queen Elizabeth on her speed dial.
3. And the long-haired Swiss Stefan Thiele, whose bank is full of Nazi gold.
Scene 4: Roger (Rufus Sewell) from Scene 1, who runs a vault-making company, congratulates his team for a job well done. "We've got the Triplets to buy our vault. If they're happy, the rest of the town falls in line."
They sell more bank vaults? He passes out assignments.
Andrew, in charge of security audits, assigns the extremely hot Rajiv (Sathya Sridharan, top photo) to do the source code review. Uh-oh, Old Guy Leo tells Stan that he's got an inside man, and Andrew flashes a sinister smile. He's a mole!
Scene 5: Back in the deli, Stan agrees to supply the gear for the heist, but he'll need $50,000 in seed money. Old Guy Leo has that covered: they're going to do a preliminary heist for funding. "Why are you doing this?" Stan asks. "You're not interested in cars or yachts or..." Old Guy Leo: "We'll get a billion dollars each, enough to fix everything that went wrong with our lives."
Scene 6: A police lineup. The witness asks them each to say "I'm a fucking moron...and really try to sell it." She picks one, takes off her wig, goes to a bar, and celebrates with Bob (Jai Courtney), another of the lineup guys, who has an Australian accent. "Next time just tell the cops that you didn't see anyting," he suggests. They smooch five times.
She -- Judy -- heads to the back of the bar, where she is shocked to see...Deli Stan! "You look amazing!" he exclaims, as another gay subtext bites the dust. Aussie Bob comes back looking for her, and is not happy to see Stan. "I told you never to come back to this town again!" "But I have a guy who wants to hire Judy."
Old Guy Leo explains that the heist needs a chemist to make some lock burnouts and gas to incapacitate the guards, while Aussie Bob glares at them all. He's not on th elist, but he insists on getting in on the action.
Scene 7: Hannah from Scene 1 in Vault Guy Roger's office, explaining that someone punched through their firewall. He tells his assistant to put eyes on Andrew the Mole.
Scene 8: Hannah at home with her girlfriend or rommate. Lesbian after all? They're doing more background checks, so be careful: if anyone calls, act normal.
Girlfriend/Roommate wants to be a DJ in Berlin, but she doesn't have a job to save up money, so Hannah offers to set her up.
Scene 9: On the street, Old Guy Leo stops to flirt with a woman walking three dogs. "All they do is fuck or fight," she complains. He wants to hire her to set up some shell companies and fence the take after the heist is over. She can also handle security: she shows him her huge gun collection. Another "Why are you doing this?" question. Leo doesn't answer. He suggests that they have sex.
Scene 10: Looking for a driver, Old Guy Leo and Ava the Dog Lady visit a garage, where the mechanic RJ (Jordan Mendoza) is constantly tapping drumsticks. "He's a good kid. Knows cars, knows tech. And he's an auto racer, so he can drive."
Scene 11: Six of the seven gang members gather to argue and insult each other, and list the supplies they will need for their parts of the heist. They will need $350,000 to start off.
Meanwhile, at the Vault Company, Hannah tells Vault Guy Roger that the security breach came from inside the office! Andrew glares at her. After he leaves, she asks Hot Guy Rajiv about him.
Scene 12: The preliminary heist: 90% of diamonds entering the U.S., worth $24 billion, show up on 47th Street in New York, Diamond Alley. The gang ignites a lot of smoke bombs, dons gas masks, breaks windows, and grabs. Aussie Bob is mesmerized by a tiara, lingers, and is shot in the hand.
Cut to Heather and her girlfriend/roommate watching a news story about the preliminary heist. They discuss Heather's pregnancy and her deadbeat ex-boyfriend. So not a lesbian. it's heterosexuals all the way down.
Scene 13: Back at the hideout, they tend to Bob's wound and complain about his mistakes. Can he crack the safe, now that his right hand is useless? Cut to Heather showing her roommate her new job, in the Vault Company mailroom.
Next she's called into a meeting with the Vault Company Boss. The security breach was caused by an injectible keyboard. But we put a "poison pill" in the data, so anyone who tried to retrieve it would be red-flagged. It was Andrew the Mole! "You're fired...get out." And by the way, Heather gets his job as Senior Vice President.
By the way, Boss knows that she's pregnant because she switched to decaf. His wife did the same thing when she was pregnant. He's hetero too.
Scene 14: Old Guy Leo talking to Heather. OMG, Heather is the mole! She set Andrew up! They discuss how time goes faster as you get older. That's true. When you're 60, the months just blip by. I wonder how fast time goes when you are immortal. She has second thoughts about the heist, now that she's pregnant, but Leo talks her into going through with it.
Beefcake: None so far.
Heterosexism: A few random kisses and discussions of boyfriends/girlfriends off camera.
Gay Characters: I'm still not sure about Heather. Maybe she's bi. Same with Stan: is that a sister or girlfriend yelling at him back home? RJ has not expressed any heterosexual interest, but when you have to introduce 7 main characters, plus wives, girlfriends, sisters, bosses, and coworkers, there probably wasn't time.
Kaleidoscope: So far the "kaleidoscope" seems linear and straightforward. I'll have to see how other episodes, out of time sequence, augment the story.
My Grade: B if any of the characters turn out to be gay or bi, C if it's heterosexuals all the way down.
