"A 17th century witch travels to the future to save the man she loves." Ugh, sounds heterosexist. But I hear that she gets a gay best friend, and besides, I'm in the middle of a Netflix drought, so it's either this or
Cheers.
Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name...
Ok, ok, I'll watch
Always a Witch.
Scene 1:
1646: Cartagena, in the Spanish colony that would become Colombia. Carmen (Angely Gaviria) is being burned as a witch. She recites an incantation. Sparks of light float up into the sky, and she is plopped into
2019: The Caribbean Sea with tall modern buildings in the background. She climbs onto the beach, where a lot of black, brown, and white people are dancing together (wow, no more racism!). She approaches two guys who are kissing (maybe her new gay bestie?) and collapses.
Scene 2:
2019: Carmen is fixed up in the hospital. Her doctor is a black woman (wow, no more racism!).
1646: Carmen working as a healer in her home village. (nice beefcake shot of a guy's back), and then being sold into on the auction block. Cristobal (Lenard Valderaa, top photo), a foppish long-haired white guy, convinces his dad to buy her. To be a sex toy, no doubt.
Scene 3:
1646: No, wait, they are dating! A slave-master relationship can hardly be consensual, but it's played here with hearts and flowers, everything dandy until the parents find out and think that Carmen used witchcraft to attract Cristobal.
2019: Back in the hospital, Carmen watches tv (completely nonchalant about the modern marvel) and discovers that a serial killer is burning his victims to death, Since she was burnt, the doctors think that she is another victim, and call the police. She knows what police are, even though there were no professional police forces until the 19th century, and runs away.
Scene 4:
1646: Cristobal is upset over Carmen's arrest: "If this religion can't understand our love, I renounce it!" (maybe gay symbolism?). So Dad shoots him.
Scene 5:
1646: In prison, Carmen meets Aldemar the Immortal, who teaches her how to levitate (but not to break out of prison). She agrees to go the future to run an errand for him. In exchange,he will send her back in time to prevent Cristobal' death. Um...but she would still be burnt at the stake, right?
2019: Carmen wanders around, amazed by roller skates (but not cars or tv?), and asking passersby for woman named Nimibe (not realizing that modern Cartagena has a population of 900,000, so the chances of anyone knowing her are nil.)
1646: Carmen's errand is to bring a stone to Nimibe.
Scene 6:
2019: Police officers Tino (Biassini Segura) and Jimenez are chasing Carmen. She runs, and ends up in the very house she was a slave in 373 years ago, now a youth hostel. She has a meet-cute with Johnny Ki (Dylan Fuentes), the fey blond slacker who works there, grandson of the owner (maybe he's her gay bestie). When he leaves, she writes Crisobal a letter.
Scene 7:
2019: In the morning, Carmen meets the college piano student Esteban (Sebasian Eslava), who looks at her like I would look at an incarnation of the God Apollo holding two tickets to the Oscars and a six-pack of Diet Coke. (But, to be fair, he looks at Grandma Adelaide exactly the same way).
Scene 8:
Tino the Cop is waiting outside of the hostel, but Carmen still has her powers, and causes a distraction (why are the cops so interested?). She has somehow figured out that Ninibe is at the university, so she goes, passing a Rich Bitch on a bike (soon to be her rival?). A cute gay guy in an Afro is following her (her gay bestie?).
Scene 9:
Ninibe turns out to be a biology professor (to get to her office, you have to go through a magical forest for about five miles). Finally arriving in the office/green house, Carmen interrupts a boy on top of a girl who is saying "No! Stop!" They explain that there is no sexual assault going on; they came to steal some cannabis and got carried away.
Scene 10:
Professor Ninibe arrives. Apparently it's more complicated than just handing over a rock. Carmen has to get more power, so she has to be trained without tipping off Lucien the Enemy, who can sense witches a thousand continuums away. Most witches are masquerading as scientists and academics to be safe. Gulp!
Ninibe introduces Carmen to the third witch they need: Alicia. Surprise! She's the Rich Bitch on the Bicycle, who wants no part of their scheme. "We can't let him win!" Ninibe implores.
Scene 11:
While Carmen walks through the magic garden on her way out, Ninibe makes a frantic phone call: "She's here! She's real! She exists, and she has brought the Stone! Finally we can beat Lucien!" So the modern-day witches have a secret agenda, and Carmen is the Chosen One!
At that moment a dark form appears and grabs Ninime, and the Stone rolls out of her handbag into oblivion.
Scene 12:
Esteban the Piano Student shows up during the ruckus. Tino the Cop sees him, and they both yell at each other "You again? What are you doing here?" Fade out.
Beefcake: None. No one has taken anything off yet.
Other Interesting Sights: Some generic "colorful character" shots of Cartegena streets, nothing specific.
Gay Characters: Lots: Jonny Ki, the gay guy with the Afro, the two guys kissing on the beach. I don't know which will stick around.
Questions: Lots. Like why are the police so interested in Carmen? How does Tino know Esteban? Who is the gay guy with the Afro? Who is the gay bestie? Why does Carmen want to leave the modern era, with its freedom, equality, and tv, and return to 1648, where she's a slave and about to be burned at the stake?
And who are all the characters who appear in 10-12 episodes according to the IMDB, but haven't appeared: Leon (Carlos Quintero), Kobo (Oscar Casas, left), Detective Corcel (Jake Green)?
Will I keep watching? Probably. It's a Netflix drought, after all.
Update: After watching three episodes, I can report that:
1. Characters that I thought were major turned out to be minor, and vice versa.
2. Esteban is a college piano student /biology professor.
3. Leon (the gay guy with the Afro) says he likes boys, but is only shown kissing girls. Johnny Ki kisses girls, too.
4. There are no more flashbacks. Carmen is a modern girl who uses witchcraft to help her friends.
