Aug 31, 2019

The Top 10 Hunks of "Dear White People," Season 3

Dear White People (2014) was a drama with comedic elements about a radio show that points out microaggressions and white privilege at an elite Ivy League college.

The first season of the Netflix tv adaption (2017) continued the story, with the Winchester students dealing with unconscious (and conscious) racism, police targeting, cultural appropriation, and so on.  Still a drama with comedic elements.

The second season (2018) was more comedy than drama, with some attention to white supremacy, institutional racism, and a conservative "why do black people complain all the time" group.  Plus Lionel gets a boyfriend.  It bogs down in a ridiculous plotline about a secret society that controls the world leaving DaVinci Code clues around the campus.

In its third season (2019), Dear White People has become a comedy.  There doesn't seem to be an ongoing plot arc, just micro-plots about selecting a film studies mentor, unionizing, dating, embarrassing moms, and a sex club. Most of the time I have no idea what's going on, and I don't really care. I'm just watching for the Lionel plotlines.  And for the beefcake.

Here are the top 10 hunks of Season 3.  I'm omitting the ones covered (or rather, uncovered) in my previous review (Gabe, Lionel, Reggie, Kurt, Al, and Kordell).

1. Mason Trueblood (top photo) as Colin, a writer for the Pastiche humor magazine (aka Harvard Lampoon).  One of the main plotlines of Season 3 involves Pastiche writers trying to find their own voices, and a female writer being ignored.

2. Kobi Kumi-Diaka (left) as  Jimiyu, a Nigerian student with a crush on someone or other.











3. Jeremy Tardy as Rashid, a member of the Black Student Union, the more conservative black organization on campus.













4. Blair Underwood as Professor Moses Brown, who left after he became rich with an app he developed, but returned because...he wants to nurture young minds?







5. Erich Lane as Clifton, Reggie's roommate, who spends his time doing whatever it is that white people do.  I liked the scene where he changes clothes in front of Reggie, displaying his package and everything (nothing seen on camera).













6. Glenn McCuen as Chet Fuckboi.  I don't remember this character, in spite of the name.


















7.  Alex Alcheh as Milo, one of the graduate teaching assistants.


8. Ryan Alexander Holmes as Nicholas.  I don't know who this character is, but who cares? The actor is hot.






9. Wade F. Wilson as Michael, who insults Lionel at the sex party, and then asks him out.

10. Eugene Ko (left) as Jesse, one of the graduate teaching assistants.  It's about time the show added an Asian character.  Racism isn't all about black and white.

Now, if they can only get him to take his shirt off.

See also:Dear White People





Mickey Rooney: Gay-Vague Teen Hunk of the 1940s

Mickey Rooney, who died in 2014 at the age of 93, played elderly men for so long that it's hard to remember that once upon a time he was the biggest teen hunk  in Hollywood.

Born Joe Yule in 1920, Mickey got his start as "Mickey McGuire," a preteen rapscallion in a popular series of silent movie shorts. In the mid-1930s, he moved on to teenage dramas, many with the strong gay subtext common in the era.

In  Little Lord Fauntleroy (1936), his rough street kid Dick falls in love -- quite literally -- with the upper-crust Ceddie (Freddie Barthlomew).

In The Devil is a Sissy (1936), his rough street kid Gig is torn between regular guy Buck (Jackie Cooper) and upper-crust Claude (Freddie Bartholomew).

In Captains Courageous (1937), his rough ship mate Dan falls in love wih upper crust Harvey (Freddie Bartholomew).



Audiences never tired of two teenage boys gazing into each other's eyes.

But Mickey -- and MGM -- hit paydirt with the Andy Hardy series, 16 movies (1937-1946) about a rambunctious small town teenager.  Who was girl-crazy, a new and bizarre characteristic for teens in mass media of the day (previously boys were expected to become interested in girls at the end of adolescence, not at the beginning).










At first parents and peers -- and audiences -- disapproved of Andy's interest in girls, thinking it made him effeminate (see my post What Kind of Flower Are You?) 

The producers countered by displaying Andy's muscles as much as possible.  He strips down for bed; he bounces down the stairs shirtless; he goes swimming, even in winter, and in a revealing Speedo-style swimsuit.  As much as 30% of each Andy Hardy movie is devoted to beefcake shots of Mickey's body and bulge.



Here Jackie Cooper (left) is a little more obviously bulgeworthy.

The strategy worked.  The Andy Hardy movies hit the top of the box office, and Mickey Rooney was named the most popular star in Hollywood three years in a row.

He also starred with Judy Garland in three popular movie musicals about kids winning or saving things by putting on a show. 

Plus he continued the male-bonding romances in Huckleberry Finn, Boystown, A Yank at Oxford and Men of Boystown.






Mickey Rooney was always nonchalant about gay people, even in the 1940s, perhaps because his own heterosexual interests were so very obvious, with nine wives and innumerable affairs. 

In the 1950s, when gay beefcake hunk Rock Hudson hit on him, he was bemused but not offended: "I like girls," he said.  "I thought everybody knew that."



Mickey Rooney kept working into his 90s, with starring roles in such movies as Wreck the Halls (2008) and The Empire State Building Murders (2008), and small but memorable roles in The Muppets (2011), Driving Me Crazy (2012), and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (2014).


Aug 29, 2019

"American Princess": My New Favorite TV Show

Entitled, detached-from-reality Jewish American Princess Amanda (Georgia Flood, who looks exactly like Kristen Ritter of Don't Trust the B__ in Apartment 23) is planning a "fairy tale wedding" in the wilds of upstate New York.  Minutes before she is scheduled to walk down the aisle, she stumbles upon her fiancĂ©, Brett (Max Ehrich), having sex with last night's hookup.  Still in her wedding dress, she rushes away.

Isn't that how Friends started?

 Amanda runs into the wilderness and stumbles upon a Renaissance Faire, one of those summertime celebrations of all things Elizabethan -- well, the fun things anyway.  There's boozing, dancing, craft booths, jousts, swordplay.  Workers and many of the guests wear Elizabethan costumes and stay strictly in character.  There are classes in how to speak, wave, bow, and pretend not to be aware of modern technology.

At first Amanda is dismissive of the daffy, reality deprived weirdos, but soon she realizes that her world is equally reality deprived.  Besides, she was an English major, and likes this Renaissance stuff.  When her mother and sister show up to take her home, she refuses.  She gets a job at the Faire, and immerses herselves in the lives and problems of other "rennies" (faire professionals).

I'm surprised that there are so many of them, considering that they work only on weekends during the summer.  It can't be a full time gig.  But:



David (Lucas Neff, left,  unrecognizable from Raising Hope) has an act involving getting splattered with mud and pretending to pee on people.  A German and art history major, he wonders if this is what he wants to do for the rest of his life.

Delilah (Mary Hollis Inboden) has an act involving doing laundry and making sexual innuendos.

Maggie (Seanna Kofoed) has been playing Queen Elizabeth for over 20 years, and is worried about aging and losing her power.


Brian (Rory O'Malley), who plays William Shakespeare, has been her gay bff for many years, but he longs to be accepted by the other performers.  After some false starts, he begins dating Juan Andres (Juan Alfonso), who runs a craft booth.

Leaf (Brock Harris, left) is a jouster, and spends his off time flirting with guests of all genders.

The female sexual empowerment stuff gets a little distasteful at times. I fast-forwarded through some discussions of vaginas.  Did you know that they come in different sizes and shapes?  I do, now.

But the colorful interactions among the characters, both in the Faire and back home on the Upper East Side, are worth sitting through some "boob and bush" discussions.

Besides, just about everyone on the show is gay, bisexual, or pansexual.  There's even a three-way relationship between Natasha (Sophie von Hasselberg), Stephen (Ross Bryant), and Phil (Edgar Blackmon).

And there's a lot of beefcake.  Most of the shirtless actors are playing scruffy, unwashed Elizabethan underlings, but there are also some buffed physiques about.

The first season is up on Vudu and Amazon Prime.  I'm watching slowly, an episode every few days.   I don't want it to end.

Aug 25, 2019

The 13 Hunks of "13 Reasons Why"

I'm not actually planning to watch 13 Reasons Why, the teen drama now starting its third year on Netflix.  I never understood the point of depressing "entertainment," and 13 Reasons is overwhelmingly dark and brutal, a cloud of gloom hanging over the hours between dinner and bedtime.

But if you don't mind "gloom, despair, and agony on end," there is also abundant beefcake, dozens of hunkoids (13 to be exact) who work out constantly, hoping that physical activity will alleviate some of their pain.

The premise: Hannah (Katherine Langford) commits suicide, and leaves behind a box of tapes at her friend's house, each a shrieking "J'accuse!" at one of the students and faculty responsible for her decision.  Flashbacks reveal all the details.  Meanwhile, Hannah's parents are suing the school for negligence.

Spoiler alert: the 13 reasons why are listed below:


1. Justin ( Brandon Flynn ) gives Hannah her first kiss, then uploads a sexy photo of her to the internet, and claims that they had sex.  She gets a "slut" reputation.













2. Next Hannah befriends the couple  Jessica and Alex (Miles Heiser).  When the two break up, Jessica blames Hannah, and spreads the rumor that she is a boyfriend-stealer.











3. Alex distributes a list of the best/worst in the school, and says that Hannah has the best butt, thus humiliating her.  There's no new hunk in this reason, so I'll add Clay (Dylan Minnette), who gets the box of tapes and is investigating the various culprits.














4. School photographer Tyler (Devin Druid) stalks Hannah, hoping to catch her in the act.  When he sees her kissing a girl named Courtney, he publishes the photograph, thus ending their friendship and giving Hannah the reputation of being a lesbian.

A lesbian slut boyfriend stealer with a nice butt.














5. Afraid of being outed (even though she has two dads), Courtney spreads a rumor about Hannah and another girl, thus...um, I guess adding to the lesbian rumor.

No new hunk in this reason, so I'll add Christian Navarro as Tony Padilla, Clay's gay best friend and co-investigator.












6. Hannah accepts a Valentine's Day date with Marcus (Steven Silver). Believing that she is a lesbian slut with a nice butt, he assumes that she will be up for sex, and tries to sexually assault her.

Steven Silver is a little stingy with beefcake photos, so instead I'll add Timothy Granaderos as Montgomery de la Cruz, a school bully.












7.  Zach (Ross Butler, top photo), one of Marcus' friends, asks Hannah for a date, no doubt assuming that sex will be included.  When she refuses, he gets revenge by removing the "positive notes" from her in-box about a writing project, leaving only negative ones and squashing her self-image.

A lesbian slut boyfriend-stealer who is no good at writing, but has a nice butt.

8. When Hannah submits some extremely personal poetry to Poetry Club  (why submit it if it's so personal?), club president Ryan (Tommy Dorfman) publishes it without her consent in the school newspaper, humiliating her and doubling the attack on her writing ability.





9. Remember Hannah's on-off friend Jessica?  She is sexually assaulted by Bryce (Justin Prentice) at a party.  Hannah sees the whole thing, but doesn't intervene.  The culprit in this reason is Jessica's boyfriend Alex, for allowing it to happen.

Not Hannah herself?  She was watching, and didn't do anything?








10. On the way home from the party, Hannah  and her friend Sherri accidentally knock over a stop sign. Hannah wants to call the police, but Sherri won't let her.  Later Jeff (Brandon Larracuente), not seeing the downed sign, goes through the intersection and is hit and killed.

The culprit this time?  You guessed it -- Sherri.







11. Clay the investigator, who has an unrequited crush on Hannah, tried to help her at the party, but she rejected him, thus leading to the downed stop sign and Jeff's death. 

He's the culprit for not trying hard enough?  This girl is doing a lot of blaming.

No new hunks in this reason, so I'll add Henry Zaga as Brad, the boyfriend of Tony (Clay's best friend).









12.  Hannah goes to another party at Bryce's house, and he rapes her.  Whoa.

Bryce was already mentioned, so let's go on to Season 2, which is mostly about the trial.  R. J. Brown plays Caleb, whom Tony (the best friend) dates.










13. Hannah tells guidance counselor Mr. Porter (Derek Luke) about being raped, but he does nothing.  J'accuse!

Derek Luke is beefcake-shy, so let's include Bryce Cass as Cyrus, who, in Season 2, starts an anti-bullying campaign with Tyler (Reason #4)

There are several gay characters, and ample beefcake, but I'm still not watching.  It sounds awful.
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