I stopped watching Mike Flanigan's The Haunting of Bly Manor at the scene with the dead kitten -- I was too busy rushing to the bathroom to continue. How could anyone associated with the film possibly believe that inducing vomiting was a good idea?
I'm not going to watch his Midnight Mass for the same reason -- this time there are apparently lots of dead kittens! Besides, I get annoyed by the tv trope that everyone in the U.S. is Roman Catholic. Especially when the Roman Catholicism here is close to Bible-Belt Pentecostalism, with faith healing, soul-winning, Gospel hymns, and the Second Coming of Christ. But I'll check to see if there are any hunks wandering around.
1. The protagonist, Riley Flynn (Zack Gilford), a former "venture capitalist" and ex-con, returns to his hometown, the small fishing village of Crockett Island, to reunite with his family and former girlfriend, and rekindle his faith.
2. He has trouble reconciling with his Dad, grizzled fisherman Ed Flynn (Henry Thomas). Ulp -- the E.T. kid is now 50 years old.
4. He runs afoul of mysterious new priest Father Paul (Hamish Linklater), who can walk on water, heal the sick and make the dead rise again, but has an ulterior motive involving one of the ladies in the congregation. And vampires.
5. The town sheriff, Omar Hassan (Rahul Kohli), is Muslim and disapproves of all the Catholic shenanigans. Especially those involving vampires.
6. Especially when his teenage son, Ali (Rahul Aburri), acts like he's converting. To Catholicism. And to vampirism.
7. Omar is buddy-buddy with Riley's teenage brother, Warren (Igby Rigney). But they don't seem to have a gay subtext, since there's a third friend, Ooker (one member of the group always has to have a crazy name). Plus Warren has a girlfriend.
Spoiler alert: Only the heterosexual couple survives the Vampire Apocalypse.
8. Mayor Wade Scarborough (Michael Trucco) has a wheelchair-dependent daughter healed by the mysterious vampire priest.
There's also an elderly lady with dementia healed by the mysterious vampire priest. Elderly lady's daughter, town doctor Sarah Gunning, is a lesbian, the only LGBTQ character in the series, and not a villain.
9. No more hunks, unless you count Pasha Ebrahmi, who plays Parishioner #1.
I would, except he doesn't take off his shirt. Nor does anyone else on Crockett Island.
No beefcake, no bonding, Pentecostal Catholics, and dead kittens. This doesn't sound like a fun addition to one's tv viewing schedule.