Dec 31, 2017

Keanu Reeves Bottoms for Drake

When I was living in West Hollywood in the 1980s and 1990s, everybody "knew" that Keanu Reeves, star of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, My Own Private Idaho, Little Buddha, and Speed,  was gay, and a BDSM top.

Will the Bondage Boy said that his first BDSM experience was a role-playing scene with Keanu and his friend Scott.

Marshall claims to have seen him at a bear party, wearing fetish gear.  He didn't do anything, but he left with a Cute Young Thing.

A guest at one of Will's parties claimed to have bottomed for him in a scene in Silverlake.

But this is the only story I heard about Keanu Reeves as a BDSM bottom.

Silverlake, July 1990

Call me Drake.  We lived in California at the same time.  It's a pity we never met -- we would have had a lot in common.  I'm five years older than you, from Illinois, I grew up in a fundamentalist household, and I'm a gym rat, working out three or four hours a day even in my 60s.    I think I also knew Will the Bondage Boy, if you're describing who I think you are.

There are a surprising number of black guys into BDSM, which is a problem because of the fetishists.

 Lots of white guys want to be with you just because you are black; they're not really into dominance, discipline, or pain at all.  Regardless of how well you prep them in advance, the moment you pull out the whip, they're squealing their safe word, and the scene is ruined.

So I was very careful in the 1980s.  I would only top guys who I knew, or who came recommended by a friend.  And none of these "bi-curious" closet types; if you get off on ladies stomping on your chest with stiletto heels, keep out of my dungeon, baby.

One night after a scene, a bottom named Steve and I were chatting.  He was telling me about some of the other guys who had topped him, and he mentioned Keanu Reeves.

"Keanu Reeves?  From Bill and Ted?" I balked. "I know he's gay, but what a nimrod!  Like, now I'm going to totally whip your most excellent penis, dude."

"He's not a nimrod, Sir, he just plays one. He's actually very intellectual -- he reads Camus and all that.  And he's a great top -- really good with role-playing scenes, I guess because he's such a good actor."

Actually, I found the other guy in Bill and Ted (Alex Winter) much hotter, but it might be fun to dominate the dopey Ted,  wipe that dazed expression off his face. "Does he ever bottom?"

The full story, with nude photos and sexual situations, is on Gay Celebrity Dating Stories

Sandy Baron's "God Save the Queens": The First Gay-Positive Comedy Album

I knew Sandy Baron as the hot, shirtless, allergic-to-women John Marino in If This is Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium (1969), and, thirty years later, as the irascible next-door-neighbor of Jerry's parents on Seinfeld (1991-1997).

But he had a long career: starting as a Borscht Belt comedian, performing with the legendary Lenny Bruce, appearing on the parody news program That Was The Week That Was (1962-63), starring with Will Hutchins in the sitcom Hey, Landlord (1966-67), and appearing in dozens of movies, game shows, and talk shows in the 1970s and 1980s.  He appeared on hundreds of college campuses

Like many comedians of the era, Baron released comedy albums, mostly recordings of his stand up-routines: The Sickniks, Out of the Mouth of Babes, I Never Let School Interfere with my Education.

In 1972 Baron and Methodist minister James R. McGraw  released"God Save the Queens."  The cover art parodied Disney's Snow White:  a muscular, shirtless prince leaves a tree-house after an unspecified encounter, while forest animals look on.  The person inside calls "Chow [ciao]."

It represents one of the first times in modern history where gay people appeared in mass media as anything but limp-wristed pansies.   The target of most of the jokes is an oblivious or homophobic straight person who cannot adapt to the gay people in his life:

1. It Happened One Night: A man reveals to his wife that he once had a same-sex experience.

2. Do You Take This Man: at a gay wedding, the father of the "bride or whatever" objects.  Because he doesn't approve of interracial marriage..

3. That Was Your Life: The #1 Male Box Office Star in the World, Stone St. Lawrence, is outed during a parody of the biography show This is Your Life.

4. Awe in the Family.  A gay man tries to come out to his parents, who misunderstand and think he's gotten a girl pregnant.  His father reveals that he had a similar "problem" in his youth.

5. Clockwork Pink.  Electroshock therapy used to "cure" gay men.

6. The Plot. A man rants about how gays are "taking over," controlling our toilet paper and dogs.

7. Buy Gay. A man planning to open a gay boutique seeks advice from an elderly Jewish merchant, who misunderstands "gay" as "goy."

8. The Politician.  A politician tries to court gay voters with laughably homophobic statements: "As long as there are no children around, a homo should be able to live anywhere he wants to."

9. The Counselor and the Hustler.  A "gay for pay" hustler goes to a gay employment service.

10. A Fairy Tale: The Queen Came Out of the Closet.  About Prince Different, who lives in a closet in the Land of Normal, but is encouraged to come out through the power of "pride."

Three years later, in an interview in The Advocate, Baron revealed that he cut the album in order to strike a blow for social equality for a minority group.  And for the money.

You can listen to the entire album on Queer Musical Heritage.

Dec 30, 2017

The Gay Content of "Zack and Miri Make a Porno"

The View Askew peeps, Kevin Smith, Scott Mosier, and their friends, tend to make movies with a lot of subtle or not-so-subtle homophobia.  I try to avoid them whenever possible, and when I can't, I go in bracing myself for the onslaught.

In Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008), the slacker buds(Seth Rogan, Elizabeth Banks) go to their 10-year high school reunion, where Miri aggressively propositions her old crush Bobby (Brandon Routh), without realizing that he is "gay now." Has he just, like, switched teams or something?

Bobby gets into an argument with his boyfriend, porn actor Brandon St. Randy (Justin Long).  Zack looks on in amusement, commenting "They fight just like real people."

After that brief scene, the gay people disappear, but they give Zack the idea of making some money by producing a straight porn movie.

His friend Delaney (View Askew regular Craig Robinson) agrees to bankroll it, and Zack and Miri hire a ragtag band of amateurs to perform.

Such as Lester (Jason Mewes, the perennial Jay to Silent Bob), whose talent is getting aroused very quickly.

Yes, we do see his butt, his rather impressive penis, and his rather scrawny body.

The dimwitted Lester mistakenly believes that there will be gay sex in the film, and remarks "I'll make it with a guy if I have to, but I'd rather make it with a girl."

Delaney exclaims "What the hell is wrong with you?" in homophobic contempt.  Obviously any guy who would do something as disgusting as engage in same-sex activity must have something wrong with them.

So according to Kevin Smith, gay people are mentally ill? Not a big revelation.  Most of his movies make similar statements.

Later Lester demonstrates a way for two guys to have sex without doing anything gay.

They also hire Barry (Ricky Mabe), a chubby actor in young-adult theater.  He doesn't mind being an anal bottom, as long as the top is a woman.  In one scene his testicles are on display, probably (they could be a prop).

Deacon (View Askew regular Jeff Anderson) agrees to direct.

Naturally the group becomes a family, and work together to help Zack and Miri in their hour of need.

The porno is started but never finished.  Instead, Zack and Miri fall in love.

I'll bet you didn't see that plot twist coming.

So, to sum up, the gay content consists of: two gay characters who vanish after the first ten minutes, three homophobic statements, Ricky Mabe's testicles, and Jason Mewes' penis.

Not a bad way to spend 90 minutes.

Dec 29, 2017

Dan Shor Takes Off His Pants and Changes the World

Sometime in the 1990s we rented Strange Behavior (1981), mainly because the cover blurb said something about Galesburg, Illinois, which is near the Quad Cities. 

We weren't aware that it was written by a gay man, it stars a gay man, and it features the first "real" male butt shot.

Actually, no local Galesburg sites are mentioned; the writer apparently just picked a town at random on a map of "the flyover," the vast empty expanse that everyone flies over en route from L.A. to NYC and back.  It was actually filmed in New Zealand.

Strange Behavior is only the U.S. title.  In Australia it's called Dead Kids, in the U.K.Human Experiments, and in West Germany Blutige Schrie (Bloody Scream). 

It's about a mad scientist named Dr. Le Sange (Dr. Blood), who turns the teenagers of a small town into blood-crazed monsters, but that's not important right now.  What's important is the main teenager, Pete Brady (like the guy on The Brady Bunch).  He's a tow-headed, long-in-the-tooth high school senior played by 23-year old Dan Shor.

Born in New York in 1956, Dan Shor studied acting in England, then moved to Hollywood, where he landed roles in Studs Lonigan, Friendly Fire, and other dramas.  He would go on to an impressive career as actor, writer, and director.  An interview I read as research for this post mentions a wife, but I'm sure I read a lot of interviews in the 1990s where he stated that he was gay. Maybe he's bisexual.

The co-writer, Bill Condon, was also gay, a year older than Dan Shor, a recent graduate of Columbia University.  This was his first job in Hollywood.  He would go on to direct such gay-themed classics as Gods and Monsters and Kinsey.

The other co-writer and director, Michael Laughlin, had produced a few long-forgotten horror movies and dramas, such as The Whisperers (1967) and The Christian Licorice Store (1971).  This was his first directing job.

In an early scene, Pete and his father have just gotten up in the morning.  As dad shaves, Pete approaches him to discuss something.  Naked.  He then moves toward the shower.  We get an extended shot of his butt as he walks away.

It wasn't the first nude butt on film, but it was the first extended butt shot that wasn't for a comedic purpose.

There is no other nudity, male or female, in the film, not even a shirtless shot.  What was the directorial decision to film Dan Shor nude?

The most obvious reason is that the writers and director liked looking at naked men, and Shor was happy to oblige.  But, in an interview I read in the 1990s, he also said that it was a political act, an acknowledgement of gay potential in the homophobic 1980s. It disrupted the heterosexual male gaze, giving primacy to the love of men for men.

And it was hot.

I can't post the shot here, of course.  You can see it on Gay Celebrity Stories.

Searching for Beefcake in Mayberry

Mount Airy, North Carolina, in the northwest part of the state near the Virginia border, is famous as the inspiration for idyllic small-town Mayberry on The Andy Griffith Show (1960-68) and Mayberry RFD (1968-71).  Those shows have been off the air for 40 years, but people have long memories, and every year thousands of tourists descend upon Mount Airy to relive a fantasy of what life used to be like, before all the hippies and liberals and gays took over.

By the way, there's an Andy Griffith/Ron Howard hookup story on Gay Celebrity Stories

They can go to the Andy Griffith Museum, a replica of Andy's courthouse, the Mayberry Market, and lots of businesses named after characters on the show:
1. Barney's Restaurant
2. Opie's Candy Store
3. Aunt Bee's Restaurant
4. Floyd's Barber Shop
5. Wally's Service Station.

There's an annual Mayberry Days Festival with 30,000 to 50,000 visitors, a parade of surviving cast members and impersonators, and a bevy of very bored-looking kids (photo from Gary W. Baird).

But what about people living in the present, who don't wax nostalgic over the homophobia, racism, and sexism of our grandparents' generation?

There are Thai, Vietnamese, and Mexican restaurants.  The town celebrates Black History Month.  There's a Surry Arts Council, but they seem to mostly put on country-western concerts, like "Shadowgrass,"  "an up-and-coming youth bluegrass band out of southwestern Virginia."

What about beefcake?

The North Surry High School Greyhounds offer basketball, football, and wrestling.

They won the North Piedmont Athletic Conference swimming title.  Notice the purple hair.

More swimmers.

More after the break.

Dec 28, 2017

Sausage Sighting of Prince Harry

The second son of Prince Charles, fifth in line to the British throne, Prince Harry was born on September 15, 1984, and educated at Eton (1998-2003) and Sandhurst (2005-2006) before serving in the British army.  Rather a hellraiser in his youth, as younger brothers are apt to be, he was a darling of the tabloids:  "Prince Harry at a Pot Party!"  "Carousing Naked with a Young Lady!"  "Wearing a Nazi Uniform!"  "Using a Racist Slur!"

His father, Prince Charles, was the subject of many rumors and hookup stories.  In West Hollywood we speculated that his marriage to Diana was a screen, ordered by his mother to "protect the royal name."  But I have not heard any about Prince Harry.

He is entirely gay-friendly, however.  James Wharton, who served with him in the army, notes that he intervened when Wharton was targeted by a homophobic attack. 

He also told Wharton that he was a "gay icon," with a large following among gay men.

No doubt because he has worked with many HIV organizations and the Mermaids, a transgender children's charity.

And because of his bulge.

Those with insider knowledge of such things swear that Windsor men are generally not impressive beneath the belt. Prince William and Peter Phillips (Princess Anne's son)  are both on the small side.  But Harry goes against tradition.

The full story, with nude photos, is on Gay Celebrity Stories

Dec 25, 2017

Gay Connections of the "Christmas Story" Kids

A Christmas Story (1983) is not just about Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) lusting after a rifle and a lady-leg lamp.  There are other plots and gag bits, other actors who are forever known as for their parts in this long-ago movie, no matter what else they've done.  Many have a gay connection.

1. Zack Ward (the bully Farkus) has become an accomplished actor and beefcake hunk, with many credits on tv and in movies, including Just for Fun (1993), "a story of homophobia and gay-bashing," according to the IMDB.

Look for him as Dave, brother of the titular Titus (2000-2002) and slacker college student Murray in The Pink House (2003).

2. Yano Anaya (his crony, Grover) is, according to Linkedin, a personal trainer at the Atlanta School of Massage.

3. R.D. Robb (Schwartz, Ralphie's buddy) continued his acting career into adulthood (including a role in The Brady Bunch Movie as a nerd who kisses Marcia).  He is also involved in directing.  Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire agreed to star in his Don's Plum (2001), which includes a gay teenager, only on the condition that it not be shown in the U.S.

4. Ian Petrilla (Randy, Ralphie's kid brother) continued acting as a teen and later studied the art of puppeteering. He has worked with the Henson Company, and currently owns an animation company in L.A.

5. Scott Schwartz (Flick, who got his tongue stuck to a flag pole) later starred as The Toy, and then used his Flick notoriety to land roles in some heterosexual porn films (mostly in non-sexual roles).  Now he still does some non-porn acting, and runs a baseball card and nostalgia shop in California.  He's heterosexual.

Dec 24, 2017

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls: Beefcake and Homophobia in the Worst Movie Ever Made

Long before he became nationally famous with Sneak Previews and Siskel & Ebert at the Movies, back when he was still a film critic for the Chicago Sun-Times, Roger Ebert collaborated with schlockmeister Russ Meyer on what is probably the worst movie of all time, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970).

I've known about this movie for years, as a conundrum: how does a film critic produce such a bomb?  But last night I watched it for the first time.

And probably the last time.

It really is a horror, full of pretentious dialogue, ponderous moralizing, jerky jump-cuts, an infinite number of characters who look and sound alike, and a lot of homophobia.

Oh, and it's a Russ Meyer movie, so there are women nonchalantly walking around naked all the time, and closeups of their breasts instead of their faces when they talk.

As best as I could make out, the nonsensical plot follows the fortunes of Josie and the Pussycats or some such teenage all-girl rock group.

They all go to California to stay with lead singer Kelly's rich aunt Susan, in spite of the objections of their manager, Harris Allsworth (David Gurian) -- he thinks there are too many "perverts and fruits" in L.A.

They begin playing at the wild Laugh-In-style parties of the indescribably wealthy, ultra-flamboyant, ridiculously theatrical Z-Man (John LaZar).  There are both gay and straight couples hooking up in the various rooms of his mansion.

Z-Man becomes the group's new manager and pushes them into fame.  I think.  It looks like the same party, but I think time passes.

Everybody starts hooking up, in hetero-sex scenes with the naked woman atop the man, so most of his body is hidden.

1. Kelly starts dating hustler Lance Rocke (Michael Blodgett).

2. Harris is seduced by an aggressive female porn star, who calls him "gay" when he is unable to perform adequately.  He tries to commit suicide, and becomes paraplegic.  Kelly dumps Lance to devote herself to caring for him.

3. The black girl starts dating law school student Emerson Thorne (Harrison Page), then boxer Randy Black (James Inglehart).  But she dumps him when his violent temper comes out.

4. Somebody else gets pregnant and starts a lesbian affair.

5. Aunt Susan re-connects with an old flame, I think (Charles Napier, seen here as a space hippie on Star Trek)

There's also some generation-gap pontificating and a muddled plotline about Kelly's inheritance.

One night Z-Man invites Lance and two women (I don't know who) to his house for a private drug party.  The women go off to be lesbians, and Z-Man tries to seduce Lance.  When Lance rejects him, Z-Man reveals that he is actually a woman, with breast and everything!

Lance still rejects him, so he kills everyone in the house in a psychotic rage.

Including his servant, who has become a Nazi, for some reason.

The three conventional heterosexual couples rush over and subdue Z-Man -- a little too late, but it took time to get Harris's wheelchair into the Scooby-Mobile..

Then there's a long, pretentious, moralistic voice-over about what was wrong with each character, including the minor ones, followed by a triple wedding (Aunt Susan-old flame, Harris-Kelly, the two black characters).

 Got all that?

Ebert hadn't originally intended this as a standard "transvestite killer" movie, with the twist that it's a female transvestite.  He thought of it at the last minute, after the filming was over -- the actors themselves had no idea. I guess he wanted to get in one last homophobic dig.

This is by no means the most homophobic movie ever made -- that honor goes to Chuck and Buck.  But it's an interesting example of the homophobia that formed an ongoing backdrop to Ebert's reviews throughout his career.

Dec 23, 2017

Jim Elliot, Through Gates of Spendor, and Amazonian Beefcake

When I was growing up in the ultra-fundamentalist Nazarene church, we had no saints, no folk heroes.  We couldn't name a single famous person who was Nazarene -- of course not, Sunday school teachers said.  When you spend all your time trying to win souls, the way God wants you to, how will you have time to become famous?

But boys need heroes, so Sunday school teachers and youth ministers became creative, scouring the ranks of closely related denominations -- the Wesleyans, the Pentecostals, the Salvation Army.  And they found Jim Elliot (1927-1956), a young missionary from the Plymouth Brethren who moved to Ecuador to try to win the Quechua for Christ.

Eventually he changed his mind: he would make first contact with the savage Auca Indians (actually called Huaorani), who lived in the Amazonian region of southern Ecuador, in order to win them for Christ.

After all, the Quechua were already Catholic -- not Christian, of course, but the Bible, or at least the Gospels, were available to them.  They at least knew who Jesus was.  The Auca were completely untouched -- they had never heard of Jesus at all.

"Operation Auca" began in September 1955, with the standard "first contact" tactic of exchanging gifts.  On January 3rd, 1956, Jim and his companions established a base and had friendly encounters with some of the Auca men.  Things seemed to be going smoothly.  But on January 8th, 1956, ten Auca warriors approached and speared Jim, three other missionaries, and their pilot Nate Saint to death.

Martyred for the cause of Christ.

Nazarenes had very few martyrs -- the church only began in 1909.  So Jim Elliot and the other missionaries were a big deal.

"Would you die for Christ, if He asked you to?" our youth minister asked.

In 1957, Jim's widow Elisabeth published an account of "Operation Auca," Through Gates of Splendour.  It was adapted into a Spire Christian comic in 1974.

Later, Elisabeth, Saint's sister, and other missionaries successfully contacted the Huaorani, and won many of them for Christ, including Mincaye, one of the murderers.

Mincaye and Saint's son Steve (only five years old at the time of the murder) later became close friends, and often traveled together on missionary expeditions.

There are about 4,000 Huaorani today, mostly living in permanent settlements, their culture all but destroyed.

You're probably wondering, what's the gay connection?

1. I rather liked the idea of five men all together, with no women around.
2. Who didn't wear shirts.
3. The Huaorani were mostly naked.
4. That friendship between Mincaye and Steve.  Best friends with your father's murderer.  How romantic is that?

Dec 20, 2017

Holy Mortadella, Batman: The Boy Wonder's Beneath the Belt Bulk

Every Baby Boomer boy knows why we couldn't wait to see Batman (1966-68), with Adam West and Burt Ward as campy, corny Caped Crusaders.  It wasn't the over-the-top villains, or the "Zap! Pow!" fights, or the buddy-bonding between Batman and Robin.

It was Robin's jaw-dropping beneath-the-belt bulge.

Burt Ward is, by all accounts (including his own), massive.  He won't give his exact measurements, but I'm guessing Mortadella.

It was hard to cram him into that Robin Hood costume without his something extra showing.

Especially when he was tied up, struggling to escape from the latest diabolical trap.

Which happened in nearly every episode.

Check out these two pictures.  As the ropes get tighter, Robin gets warmer.

Well, he couldn't help it. Burt Ward was in his early 20s, and he often had to spend an hour at a time restrained, with nothing to do but wait.  Extras and guest stars often took advantage of the opportunity to play with him.

Female extras, he claims.  I'm not so sure.

Gay actor Cesar Romero, who played the Joker, claims that the show gave him many opportunities for an "accidental" grope, and at least once they went farther.  Burt didn't mind.  In fact, the younger actor looked up to Romero as a comedic mentor, and they became lifelong friends.

I also have a correspondent who claims to have hooked up with Burt right on the set.

About a dozen episodes into the first season, a "Save the Children" watchdog group complained, and the directors and crew found ways to underplay Burt's package.  Or hide it altogether.

But it remains the stuff of legend.

See also: Lane's Hookup with Batman, Robin, and the Joker.; A Hookup with Robin the Boy Wonder

Dec 19, 2017

Seminole Boys, Alligator Wranglers, and Weightlifters

Although the Seminole are the most famous Indian tribe of Florida, they were not among the 20 or so tribes living there when Europeans arrived in the 16th century.  They are the descendants of Creeks moving down from Georgia 200 years later.

  In the 19th century most were exiled to Oklahoma.  A few hundred moved into the Everglades to avoid removal.  Some African slaves also fled into the Everglades and joined them, becoming Black Seminole.

Today 4,000 of their descendant live in Florida, on six reservations.  About 1,600 speak the Mikasuki language and maintain cultural traditions, like stickball (the origin of lacrosse), alligator wrestling, and the Green Corn Dance.  

They hold a tribal fair and powwow in Fort Lauderdale every winter.

The traditional Seminole costume includes ornate, multicolored shirts, making it difficult to find beefcake photos.

Unless a guy take off his shirt to play stickball, as in this photo from the Florida State Archives.

But Seminole heritage, with its emphasis on strength, determination, and personal autonomy, has survived in many Florida names.  Two cities, the Seminole Heights neighborhood in Tampa, several high schools, the Florida State University football team, and an endless number of streets, parks, and businesses.

This is the Seminole High School swim team.

And the water polo team.

Seminole Heights High School in Tampa is well known for its competitive weight lifters.  Both boys and girls participate.  Every year it sends two or three athletes to the all-regional and state competitions.

Abyu Perez (left) lifted 480 pounds and was named Weightlifter of the Year in 2014.

Kristian Gonzalez (top photo) lifted 540 pounds and was named Weightlifter of the Year in  2017.

Neither of them actually belong to the Seminole Nation, but it's the Seminole spirit that counts.

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