Nov 23, 2013
Season 3 (2012) of Australia's X-Factor, an amateur musical competition, found 17-year old Joel Goncalves performing. He got good reviews with "This Girl is Mine," but later forgot his lyrics and was booted off.
"Please Don't Go"
The interesting thing about his covers: they lack the heterosexist "Girl! Girl! Girl!" of most teen idol songs.
Settle down with me, cover me up, cuddle me in
Lie down with me and hold me in your arms
"I Won't Give Up:
I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up, still looking up
So is he gay in real life?
Nope, homophobic. On his twitter account, he uses "gay" as a slur. The "all my fans" lyrics are just a happy accident.
Nov 22, 2013
1. Chris, a gay singer and dancer on Glee (2009).
2. The lesbian comedy Public Relations (2010).
The Hard Times of RJ Berger (2010-11), about a well-endowed high schooler. Jayson played the homophobic Max, who turned out to be gay (but not well-endowed).
5. The New Normal (2012-13). Jayson plays Clay Clemmons, the dimwitted estranged husband of the surrogate mother to the gay couple.
But the gay ally is indeed heterosexual. He was romantically involved with Rumer Willis, the daughter of Hollywood legend Bruce Willis.
Nov 20, 2013
Zack and Cody, Liv and Maddie have opposing personalities and interests. Most episodes involve the two competing for something, or one pretending to be the other: Liv pretends to be Maddie to score a date with a hot guy; Maddie pretends to be Liv to get a place on the basketball team.
Older brother Joey (Joey Bragg) acts like a feminine gay stereotype, and apparently gets crushes on guys like Diggie (below). (Here Sam Levine seems to have a crush on him.) Dad worries that his lack of interest in sports signifies that he's "weak," code for gay. The actor tweets: "I am not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that0, but Adam DeVine is really goodlooking."
Nov 19, 2013
1. Niall Horan
2. Liam Payne (left)
3. Zayin Malik (below)
4. Harry Styles
5. Louis Tomlinson
Their lyrics are explicitly heterosexist, with "Girl! Girl! Girl!' every other word.
I wanna stay up all night, and find a girl and tell her she's the one
Girl, I see it in your eyes, you're disappointed
Girl, what would you do, would you wanna stay...
alienated and alone.
The band's frequent butt and crotch grabs, kissing, and hugging in underwear in bed grabbing each other's butts and crotches, kissing, lying about in bed together, leading to rumors that they're gay. When fans make such a horrible accusation, the fan boards go wild with "defenses": "Why you got to hate?"; "They're normal, get a life!".
News flash, Nick. Being gay was removed from the psychiatric Bible, the DSM, in 1973. Gay people should really be aware of that. Maybe he's using the ICD-10 instead. Being gay wasn't removed from that until 1992.
Nov 18, 2013
But the 17-year old has developed a respectable physique, getting him a place on my list of 12 Unexpected Disney Channel Teen Hunks.
The Ochoa Boyz consist of::
1. Ryan, born in 1996.
2. Robert (left), born in 1998, also a Disney kid, appearing on Hannah Montana, Pair of Kings, and Wendell and Vinnie.
4. Rick, the oldest. I don't know how old, but he's in college.
Here they ask fans to guess who belongs to the abs. Give up?
Their lyrics are mixed. Some heterosexist:
Strutting her stuff, she looks fine, dudes try to look tough
Let's go outside, run through the streets, and enjoy the night.
Jump on the cars, go ahead and reach for the stars
This isn't a dream, join the team, feel free to scream
Jake T. Austin, Gig Morton, and Dylan Sprayberry (left).
Nov 17, 2013
Actually, I don't think anyone has seen it all the way through. After about ten minutes, you could hear tv sets being switched to another channel all across America. It was universally panned by critics and universally reviled by viewers -- especially Star Wars fans.
It was never rerun, never appeared on VHS or DVD. But some collectors had bootleg copies recorded directly from the tv broadcasts by diehard fans who thought they were going to get something good.
Curious about what the worst 2-hours of tv would look like, I bought a copy
Curiosity is a bad thing.
Most of the Star Wars characters -- Han Solo, Chewbacca, Darth Vader -- appear in clips from the movie, redubbed to make it look like they're talking about something called "Life Day."
The main story takes place in Chewbacca's house on his home world. The first fifteen minutes involve his wife Malla trying to get their son ("Lumpy") to take out the garbage. Wookies talk only in annoying whines, so it's 15 minutes of mother and son whining at each other.
Then there's fifteen minutes of Malla and Lumpy whining at each other to do the dishes.
Malla cooks dinner, following the directions of a six-armed Harvey Korman in drag.
From The Carol Burnett Show and Blazing Saddles to this?
Then there's a lengthy sketch in a trading post, where shop owner Art Carney tries to sell trinkets to a Storm Trooper. Very slowly. Very boring trinkets. "Here's a miniature aquarium." "I hate fish."
From The Honeymooners to this?
The DVD committed suicide during Itchy's self-gratification on the living room couch. Thank goodness. I didn't have the stomach to watch the next 75 minutes.
Hundreds of people contributed to this mess, including some of the greatest actors in Hollywood.
What were they thinking?
And Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003), as Francis, one of the testers of a real-life video game (along with Ryan Pinkston and Robert Vito).
Since he entered puberty, Bobby has had only a few screen roles, notably in Welcome to the Paradise (2007), as the son of a female preacher (gasp!). He is now a singer and a songwriter, formerly a member of the gay-positive boy band After Romeo.