On Reddit, someone posted this pic and asked "Are you on Animal Kingdom? I'm on Peaky Binders." So this Joshua Cody must be on one of those.
I search for Animal Kingdom first.It must be a nature show on Animal Planet, like the Wild Kingdom of my childhood.
Nope. The title is completely misleading: no animals (except for humans), no kingdoms, and it airs on TNT. It's a drama about a crime family led by matriarch Smurf (Ellen Barkin).
Joshua Cody must play one of her children. And if he's got 10,000 shirtless and nude photos floating around the internet, there must be many more of the other mafiosi. With visions of angelic faces, bulging biceps, and bulging bulges floating in my head, I check the list of Mama Smurf's boys:
Not exactly a gym rat. Rather plain, nondescript, the kind of guy cast as
lawyers and corporate suits. I wouldn't go out of my way to meet him at a bear party.
Ok physique, a little pale and waxy, but his face is grotesque. I'm actively avoiding him at bear parties.
3. Ben Robson as Craig, who is a drug addict, "adrenaline junkie," and violent thug. For instance, when his girlfriend overdoses, instead of calling 911, he ransacks her apartment looking for money and drugs.
Another pasty, waxy chest, gross tattoos, and a grotesque face. I get that they wanted a drug addict to be less than gorgeous, but really, this is a bit much.
OMG. At least they're not pandering to gay stereotypes.
Question: how did the casting director get a list of my top 10 turn-offs?
5. Finn Cole as Joshua, Mama Smurf's grandson, who wants to take over the business.
His last name is "Cody" -- I finally found Joshua Cody!
And Finn Cole turns out to be not grotesque.
His physique is nondescript, but at this point I'm happy just finding someone who can walk into a room without shattering all the mirrors.
Ok, I get it. The criminals were deliberately cast with ugly guys due to our stereotypic association of ugliness with evil: if they were hot, they would be too sympathetic. But what about the rest of the cast? There must be some hunks among them.
Lord have mercy, he's awful. But he was cute as Jerathmiel on The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina in 2019. How....
He's got some pecs -- again, of the pale, waxy variety-- but no tats! And he's reasonably nice looking.
Not bad. Give him a smile and a nice bulge, and I might ask him out.
In 1982, he appeared among the backup boys in the music video of Diana Ross's "Muscles"
It's been 37 years, so you have to cut him a little slack, but I still have a 40" chest and 16" biceps. It's not that hard to keep up.