Dec 5, 2020

"The Guest": Korean Shamans, Catholic Priests, Ghosts, Noodles, and Maybe Subtexts


Many Americans don't realize that Korea is not all Buddhist.  A large proportion of South Koreans belong to vairous home-grown religions that combine Christianity and folk beliefs.  So I was interested in a shaman-based Korean paranormal series, The Guest.

Besides, it was advertised with this image.  Looks like a gay couple.

Scene 1: "The Guest comes from the eastern see, and it possessess man."  Establishing shots of a beach crowded with happy vacationers.  Middle Aged Woman is trying to pass out fliers that say "Come get some hoe," but she is ignored.  Suddenly she is possessed by The Guest, and attacks a group of teenagers with the butcher knife she just happened to be carrying.

Scene 2: Twenty years ago. A group of people in white robes are preparing for a ritual, but Hwa-pyung, a little boy, prefers to watch tv instead.  He's afraid to come outside because there's a ghost out there -- a bald woman with a bloody mouth -- screaming at him.  

Dad yells at him.  Mom acknowledges that he can't help seeing dead people, but advises that he should pretend not to, so he will fit in with the communal-oriented society.

Scene 3: A colorful procession down a mountain, banging cymbals and carrying banners. A villager named Jong-Jin explains that the ritual is technically meant to ask the gods for good fishing, but it really has an ulterior motive: it is to keep away the evil spirit Park il-do, who possesses people and turns them into killers.

Scene 4: We actually see the ritual, Byeolsin-Gut: everyone chants and sways, the Shaman dances, and an offering is placed on a boat and cast off.  Suddenly Jong-Jin is pulled underwater by an unseen force.

Later that night, Jong-Jin starts stabbing people, and then blinds himself.  Hwa=pyung sees him and collapses.

Scene 5: Hwa-pyung is blind in the eye that Jong-Jin stabbed.  Plus he can see Park il-do (a gray cloud).  

Scene 6: Thinking that Hwa-pyung has been possessed, the villagers perform the Nullim-Gut, a ritual to "suppress spirits and their powers."  The Shaman dances, the people sway and clap.  But something goes wrong: the Shaman collapses in a pool of blood.  "He's too powerful!  You have to kill him!"

So, when is Hwa-pyung going to age into a hot adult?


Scene 7:
A bus stops at a deserted field, and two Catholic priests get out to examine Hwa-pyung.  Old Priests states that he's not possessed; maybe it's child abuse.  Young Priest (Choi Sa-hyung) gives Hwa-pyung his number, and invites him to come over if he wants to talk about anything.  Hwa=pyung pulls him close and whispers something in his ear.

Oh, boy, when Hwa-pyun grows up, he and Young Priest will live together and solve paranormal mysteries and be boyfriends.

Scene 8: Young Priest is shaken by the experience.  He goes home and tells his parents, "For the first time, I am confident in my faith." 

Scene 9:  Dad comes into Hwa-pyung's bedroom and tries to kill him. Could we revisit that child abuse explanation?  Mom restrains him, and Hwa-pyung runs from the house.  He looks at Young Priest's address.

Meanwhile Young Priest has just finished killing his parents.  Yoon, apparently his little brother, is locked in the bedroom.  Young Priest breaks the door down.

Scene 10: Hwa-pyung is staring at Young Priest's house..  A woman and her young son stop to see if he needs help, and he tells her "Down there!"  So she goes down to the house and knocks. (Or maybe call the police?)

Scene 11:  Guess what?  She's a police officer.  When Young Priest answers the door, she knows immediately that something is wrong.  (What tipped you off?  The glazed zombie eyes, or the blood on his clerical collar?). So she talks her way inside, and finds a room full of dead parents, and Little Brother hiding under the bed.  

The first rule of being in a house with a deranged killer -- don't turn your back.  Young Priest attacks, they fight.  Police Officer is killed, but Yoon escapes, and runs out to the car.

So now there are three little boys standing in the road outside the Murder House.  Fortunately, Police Officer called for backup, so they are all saved.  

Oh, boy, they'll all grow up together and investigate paranormal mysteries and become boyfriends!

Scene 12: Finally we get to modern-day Sangyong, Korea, where the grown-up Hwa-pyung (I assume)is driving a cab.  He picks up a couple, and notices that the young woman is dazed and resistant: "That's not your girlfriend, is it?  Be careful -- her brother's a cop. Besides, you're married"  He explains that he has psychic powers.

The guy flees.  Hwa-pyung takes the dazed girl home. Darn, now they'll start dating and...

She's upset because she was actually trying to seduce the guy, not the other way around. Huh?

Scene 13: Young Priest walking through an alley.  Why is he still young, after 20 years?  He accosts a homeless guy: "You're not the one I'm looking for."

Scene 14: Hwa-pyung knocks on a door.  Middle-aged, effeminate shaman Yuk-gwan answers: "Your eyes are full of lust.  You'll be chasing women until you're old." 

He barges in, helps himself to some noodles, and asks "Heard anything about possessed people?"

No, and none of the other shamans have, either.  Or the Catholic priests or Buddhist monks.

Scene 15:  Hwa-pyung goes home to a room plastered with newspaper articles about possessed people killing their families.  He lights a candle on the altar to his dead mother and prays to her: "I promise I'll get him (Young Priest)."

Wait -- Hwa-pyung's mother wasn't killed by Young Priest.  He killed Police Officer and his own mother.  Which of the three boys by the side of the road is this?

Scene 16: Hwa-pyung sees a body in an aquaduct, and asks a passerby to call the police.  Two officers investigate.   Suddenly they see a young woman, Kang Gil-young, parked nearby, and curse: "Goodness! What's she doing here?"  She's under disciplinary review for beating up a suspect, and not supposed to be investigating cases.  

Ok, I get it. One of the boys by the side of the road was actually a girl, who has grown up to be a tough, plays-by-her-own-rules detective.  That leaves Yoon, Young Priest's brother, unaccounted-for.

Scene 17: Young Detective interviews employees at the cleaning business the victim owned.  There was an incident a couple of months ago: an independent contractor was "slightly injured," and blamed the boss.  Aha, a suspect!

Scene 18: Hwa-pyung investigates, too.  The contractor is in a wheelchair, and can barely speak.  Quite an accident!  He shows him a picture of Young Priest, and the poor guy goes beserk!  



 Scene 19: Young Detective interrogates Hwa-pyung.  Why was he at the aquaduct, and then at the contractor's house?  Hwa-pyung comes clean about his psychic powers.  She doesn't believe him.

Oh, no, they're going to work on cases together and fall in lo-oo-ve.  Heterosexism triumphant.  And where's Yoon, Young Priest's little brother?  The actor gets top billing on IMDB.

Scene 20: The Independent Contractor has mysterious scars on his hands and says "Let's all die."  Then he levitates and kills his wife.  At the police station, Hwa-pyung has a vision of the murder.  

He rushes to the house.  Young Detective is already there. They investigate.  The end.

Beefcake:  Only in the opening scene.

Other Sights: The Shamanic rituals are very colorful.

Gay Characters:  The swishy shaman, definitely. It remains to be seen whether Hwa-pyung buddy bonds with the grown-up Yoon or does the Mulder-Scully routine with the grown-up Detective.

Plot Holes: There's just one demon, not a legion of them.  So how can it possess Young Priest and the Independent Contractor at the same time?  And why did it possess Hwa-pyung, but then leave him for Young Priest?  He was too young to kill people?  Psychic powers were too strong?  

Starting Too Early:  Definitely.  It would be a much cleaner, more concise episode if we started with Scene 12, and relegated the opening eleven scenes to a few flashbacks.  

My Grade: It will depend on who Hwa-pyung falls in love with.

Dec 4, 2020

The Best Week of TV Ever

December 5, 1966.  I am in first grade at Hansche Elementary School in Racine, Wisconsin.  Two weeks ago I had my sixth birthday, so I am old enough to stay up until 9:00 pm, but too young for sleepovers with my friends.  There's no radio or record player in the house.  My church forbids going to movies, theater, concerts, bowling alleys, or skating rinks.  

So, every night after dinner, I sit on the floor in the living room, with Mom doing the newspaper crossword puzzle in her favorite chair, Dad and my baby sister on the couch, my little brother beside me playing with his toys. I'm doing homework or reading a book.

While watching the Best Week of TV Ever.

Dec 5, Monday

Gilligan's Island: "And Then There Were None": Gilligan thinks that he's killing the other castaways, and dreams that he's Mr. Hyde.  Scary!

Run, Buddy, Run: "Buddy Overstreet, Please Come Home."  After running from gangsters who put a hit on him, the cute Buddy (Jack Sheldon) gets to go home.

The Lucy Show: "Lucy and the Monkey."  Lucy thinks that her boss, Mr. Mooney, has turned into a monkey.  Come on -- even I know that people don't turn into monkeys.

Dec 6, Tuesday

Daktari: "Cry for Help."  Paula is bitten by a deadly spider (gross!), and Dr. Tracey consults a tribal healer.  Cute black guys in loincloths!

Petticoat Junction: "The Runt Strikes Back": Betty Joe strikes back against her bullying older sisters by getting a job.  And there are THREE cute guys at the Shady Rest. One is Terry Phillips, who also worked as a dialogue coach on Petticoat Junction.  

Dec 7, Wednesday

Lost in Space: "A Visit to Hades."  The space castaways visit a planet that looks like "Hades", a new word for "Hell."  With a devil-guy named Morbus.  Will Robinson (Billy Mumy) is six years older than me, and super-cute.

The Beverly Hillbillies: "The Woodchucks." Dimwitted but hunky Jethro joins an all-girl birdwatching club.  So boys can participate in girls' activities?  I want an EZ-Bake Oven.


Dec 8, Thursday

F-Troop: "The Return of Wrongo Starr."  I've never heard of Ringo Starr, but Henry Gibson is cute.  In a few years I will see him on Laugh-In.

Bewitched: "My Friend Ben."  Aunt Clara conjures up Ben Franklin.  I've never heard of Ben Franklin, or the kite that discovered electricity, but there's a cute teenage boy (Tim Rooney).  He took off his shirt in Village of the Giants (1965).  Later I found out that he was Mickey Rooney's son.

That Girl: "Phantom of the Horse Opera."  Ann Marie and her boyfriend Don befriend an organist from the silent film era.  I've never heard of the silent film era, either!

Dec 9, Friday

Tarzan: "Pearls of Tanga"  Tarzan and Jai try to stop the despoiling of a native paradise full of loincloth-clad hotties.  Plus Tarzan is chained up in a cave.

Hogan's Heroes: "Don't Forget to Write."  Colonel Klink is transferred to the Russian front, and the hotties of Stalag 13 try to save him.


Dec 10, Saturday

Flipper: "Alligator Duel." Pet dolphin Flipper is kidnapped and forced to fight alligators, and shirtless teens Sandy and Bud rush to the rescue.

Get Smart: Perils in a Pet Shop.  KAOS is using trained parrots to smuggle secrets.  I learned another new word, "chaos."

Dec 11, Sunday

You usually go to church on Sunday nights, but for some reason tonight is different. Maybe Mom or Dad don't feel well.  But missing a 2 hour sermon and altar call is great, and you can watch:

It's About Time: "The Sacrifice."  The cute astronaut castaways try to save their hosts' daughter from being sacrificed in a prehistoric cave ritual.  Well, at least there's a boy with his shirt off (Pat Nardi).

Hey, Landlord: "The Big Fumble."  Chuck claims that he is best friends with a famous football player, who doesn't remember him.  Football is boring, but the player is future comedy great Fred Willard.

Popeye: Finding a Non-Traditional Family

Critics panned the 1980 movie musical Popeye, starring Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall, but I loved it.

I loved the world of Sweethaven, a tiny, cramped, desolate seaport, cut off from the rest of the world, where everyone is trapped, like the castaways in Lost or Gilligan's Island:

Sweet Sweethaven
God must love us
Why else would He have stranded us here.





It's the heart of the Depression.  People have no jobs; they must wear second-hand clothes and live in decrepit houses.  They spend their days drinking bootleg liquor, boxing, "horse racing" (without horses), and philosophizing on the futility of life: one day you're alive, full of hope for the future, and the next, you're food.

Everything is food, food, food

To make matters worse, the town is ruled by a Big Man (literally), Bluto (Paul L. Smith, top photo, bear-hugging Bruce Lee).  He levies arbitrary taxes, forecloses on houses, and beats up people at random.

He is engaged to Olive Oyl (Shelley Duval), whose parents run the local boarding house, but she really had no choice in the matter.  She tries in vain to think of a reason to like him:

He's tall...goodlooking...and large....so large...so large.

"Large" would actually be a plus for me.  Extra-large, even moreso.

Into this lost, shipwrecked world comes the one-eyed sailor Popeye (Robin Williams), not the sophomoric star of 1960s cartoons, but the ultimate individualist from the E.C. Seegar comics of the 1930s, whose mantra was remixed by Gloria Gaynor and became a gay anthem:

What am I?
I am what I am!

At first reluctant to get emotionally involved, Popeye befriends Olive Oyl and her family and decides to help out.

 He wins a boxing tournament to forestall foreclosure, and trounces both Bluto and a giant octopus.  On the way he adopts a founding child and re-unites with his long-lost father.


And there's a gay connection: there's no indication, anywhere in the movie, that Popeye and Olive Oyl have fallen in love.  Olive Oyl is ecstatic to finally find someone who "needs me," but Popeye, similarly, sings "Everybody needs somebodys," to his son Swee'Pea.

They work together to raise a child that neither has had a biological role in producing.  They are a non-traditional family.

 The movie is about finding a family, finding a home, not necessarily in a heterosexual embrace, but among people who care about you.

Dec 3, 2020

"Little Italy, Los Angeles": Filmed in 2018, Starring Gay Guys From 1978

 


Little Italy, Los Angeles: yet another tv series about the gentrification of an ethnic neighborhood..  This one stars the "only Italian left in the neighborhood," a barber named Frank.  I'm about to give it a miss, but then I see Episode 4: "Date Night at Dicks," with an icon of two guys, so maybe there's a gay character.

Yep, there is.

The bar called Dicks.  Brett's girlfriend has stood him up, so he's commisserating with the bartender, Johnathan.  

Brett: Girls are the worst!  Who needs them?  It would be a better world if it was just bros, am I right?

Johnathan: I hear you!  (Kisses him)

Brett: (Sputter, sputter, wipe off,) What the fuck, Bro?

Johnathan: Sorry, I misread the signals.  

Brett: What signals?  Did you think I was....GAY????

Johnathan:  Well, you were saying you don't like girls, and this is a gay bar, so...

Brett: A GAY BAR??  Why do you work in a GAY BAR????

Who gets freaked out over being in a gay bar?  Maybe in 1978, but this is 2020. And it's Los Angeles.  There are gay bars everywhere.

Johnathan:  Because I'm gay.

Brett:  How can you be GAY?  You're not...(wearing a dress).  We go to the gym together.  You've seen me in the shower...ulp.  A GAY guy saw me naked!  (Panic, panic).


He turns to run away, but then he sees Frank the Barber sitting with some gay guys. Frank doesn't realize that it's a gay bar, either.

Frank: Everyone is so nice here!  And no girls around!  They really know how to make a gentleman's club!

Brett tries to "warn" him, but he's impossibly clueless.  Defeated, Brett returns to the bar.

Brett: How can you be gay?

Johnathan:  It's not that bad.  Think about it -- who knows what's going on in a chick's brain, but when you're fucking a guy, you understand each other.  Plus you have a lot more guy friends than girl friends, so more choices.. 

Are you really trying to talk Brett into becoming gay/  You know it's not a choice, right?

And you eliminate all of the time and expense of dating: the dinners, the fancy clothes...

Um...the last I heard, gay guys eat dinner and wear clothes....

Brett: You make some good points.  Turning gay sounds like a wise choice, but I'm not attracted to guys.  Wouldn't that make fucking guys a problem?

Johnathan: You're not attracted to guys?  But why do you keep sending me texts about how hot you find my pecs and butt?  

Brett: I meant aesthetically.  I'm attracted to your gym discipline and workout routines.

Johnathan: Well, what about jerking off? That's always gay, right?  You're with a guy.

Brett: That's nonsense.

Johnathan: Sorry.  I went too far.  In your attempt to recruit Brett? Who wrote this, Anita Bryant?

 


Brett:  I can't] be friends with a GAY GUY!  I'll have to find another gym partner.

Johnathan:  Let me tell you how to fuck this girl.  First, get her drunk.  Hey, that's sexual assault! Then be an asshole and insult her.  Chicks dig that.

You don't know anything about being gay, and now you don't know anything about being straight.  Unless you're deliberately trying to sabotage Brett's relationship, you sneaky, predatory....

Jonathan:  So, want to come back to my place for Netflix and chill?  Just as bros?

They leave together.  Frank the Barber's friends are amazed at Johnathan's ability to pick up hot guys.

Friend: Johnathan's got game!  He cleans  up every night.

Frank: (Still doesn't realize that he's in a gay bar, even though he's been chatting with gay guys for an hour): Well, why wouldn't he clean up?  He's the bartender...that's his job. 

The end.  This is a 10-15 minute webseries.  Apparently written in 1978.

Dec 2, 2020

"Wayne": A Modern-Day Holden Caulfield, A Gay-Subtext Couple, and a Lot of Weirdness

  


Amazon Prime splashes its streaming products as aggressively as Netflix: "Spectacular!  A triumph!  A masterpiece!  The greatest work of art the world has ever known!  On your death bed, you will remember watching this tv show as the high point of your life!"

Ok, Wayne: A 16=year old Dirty Harry with a heart of gold and his girlfriend Del head to Florida to recover a stolen car (a wicked=hot car)!  Sounds more like Holden Caulfield, and intensely heterosexist, if not homophobic.  

But I read through the episode summaries to be fair.  

"Episode 8: Cole and Orlando's strange relationship."  Relationship?  Same-sex romance, although pegging it as "strange" is homophobic.

"Episode 9: "Calvin and Reggie refuse to set out the welcome mat."  They must be a gay couple, or a boy-girl couple where the girl has a boy's name (I've been fooled by that before).

So I watched Episode 9.

Scene 1: Wayne breaks into a deserted house, barricades the door, yells "fuck!" a lot.  Suddenly he's attacked and beat up quite severely.

Scene 2: Del (Clara Bravo) breaks into a community swimming pool.  The security guard offers to let her spend the night.

Scene 3: This must be the day before. Wayne comes down to breakfast with Reggie (Francesco Antonio), a muscle man who eats an entire box of cereal in one bowl, but no milk -- because it comes from the breasts of female cows.  Wow, even in West Hollywood, we didn't reject the feminine that much.

Reggie's Mom Maureen comes in with a shopping bag, complaining about alligator crap.  Wayne tells her that his girlfriend Del left.  

Ok, Maureen is Wayne's Mom too, so Reggie must be his older brother. 

Maureen wants the extra bedroom for her candle-making business but Calvin refuses to give up his "man-cave."  

So is Calvin Reggie's boyfriend or Maureen's boyfriend?  Probably Maureen's.  Gay men don't usually have man-caves.


Scene 4: 
Cole (Mike O'Malley) and Orlando (Joshua J. Williams) are driving somewhere, bickering about directions like a married couple.  These are the guys with the "relationship" in Episode 8.  

Cole notes that back in the day, Wayne's Mom had "great legs."  Orlando gets angry, and he backtracks: "She's not my type.  I only date black women."

Well, Orlando is black, so he's got the race right.

Cole swerves to avoid a dog in the road, and crashes the car.  He gets out.  There's no dog.  "Not again!" he screams.

Scene 5: Wayne is working on changing the spare bedroom into Mom's candle-making studio, when Calvin (Kirk Ward), a tattooed biker type, storms in and yells at him.  He's obviously Mom's boyfriend, not Reggie's.  But Reggie hasn't expressed any heterosexual interest -- maybe he's gay.

 Calvin goes downstairs and issues Mom an ultimatum: "Get him the fuck out of here, or get the fuck out of here with him." These people say "fuck" as often as they say "the."

Scene 6: Cole sits in the road, whining: "I'm cursed.  I'm on a mission to save Wayne, but he should be saved from me."  

Scene 7: Del spent the night at the pool.  It's morning, and there are a lot of kids splashing around.

Scene 8: Wayne has finished the candle-making studio.  Mom starts packing up to sell her candles at a  swap meet in Tampa, but Wayne doesn't want her to go.  With Calvin in the house, I understand why. They argue, Wayne throws candles, she storms out.  

Wayne goes downstairs and tries to steal their car, but Reggie and Cole catch him and beat him up.

 Scene 9: Hey, there really was a dog!  Cole, Orlando, and the dog walk down the highway.  "Things are looking up!" Cole exclaims.  "We're going to find Wayne!  I can feel it!"

Scene 10: Del tries to get a bus ticket out of Ocala, but she doesn't have enough money, so she starts begging.  Meanwhile Cole, Orlando, and the dog come into the bus station.  Del knows them!  "You're my fucking principal!"


Scene 11: 
Reggie and Calvin have Wayne tied up and hanging from a hook. They're planning to blow torch him to death, but they're interrupted by Officer Geller (Stephen Kearns) and his partner.  "Wayne?  Oh, he's hanging around here somewhere." Calvin quips. Then he clobbers the partner and invites Officer Geller into the garage to see Wayne.  

Well, that was unexpected.

Scene 12: Cole, Orlando, and the dog treat Del to breakfast. They are trying to find Wayne and bring him back to Brockton.  "Sure, his house burned down, and his dad with it, but he's got us." 

So Cole and Orlando are planning to adopt Wayne?  I don't care if Cole likes women, they're a gay couple.

Scene 13: Officer Geller strips so he won't get his clothes all bloody.  Scrawny body, not attractive.

He tells the story of a guy he fell in love with, who framed him for a crime that cost him 817 days in a Thai prison.  Cakvub is not interested in his "queer experience."  Just get on with it!   Then Geller reveals a body covered with violent tattoos.  


Scene 14.
  At the diner.  While Cole pays the check, Orlando has a heart-to-heart with Del.  She asks how he met Wayne, and he tells the whole story in flashback: a kid was being blackmailed about a revealing video, so Wayne hired him to erase it from the internet.

Scene 15: I thought Officer Geller was going to kill Wayne, but instead he fights Calvin., and  annihilates him.  He cuts Wayne loose and says "You're under arrest." The end.

How does this all tie in to the first scene?

Beefcake: Reggie wears a muscle shirt.

Discussions of shit: Three.

Discussions of how good Wayne's Mom is in bed: Three

Gay Characters:  Officer Geller.  And Cole and Orlando are an obvious gay subtext couple.  I fast-forwarded through Episode 10: Wayne's Mom tries to kiss Cole, and he pulls away while Orlando looks on, smiling. He knows he has nothing to worry about.

Dec 1, 2020

"The Uncanny Counter": A Gay-Subtext "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" from Korea

 


The Uncanny Counter:
 "Noodle shop employees by day and demon hunters by night, the Counters use special abilities to chase down malevolent spirits that prey on humans."  Buffy the Vampire Slayer in Korea might be interesting, with demons derived from Buddhism rather than Christianity.  And it's a weekly series, which I actually prefer over dumping a whole season at once.  Plus one of the characters is bound to be gay.

Scene 1: Mom and Dad  (Gwon), drive their young son (Mun) through the dark suburban streets of Jungjin, Korea. They are planning to drop him off at his grandparents and go off by themselves, but when Mun paints them into his picture, they magically decide to stay with him.  Creepy powers, kid!

Cut to a rain-soaked young man, Detective Ga, standing on a building roof.  He calls Gwon: "Be careful!  Be sure you survive!  You have to!"  Then he jumps off the roof.

A truck crashes into the car.  The driver approaches., slowly, as Mun loses consciousness.

Scene 2:  Seven years later, the teenage Mun (Jo Byung-gyu, below) is trying to bathe his senile grandmother, who is combative and blames him for his parents' deaths: "You killed my daughter!  Why are you still alive?" Meanwhile Grandpa is making breakfast Personally, I would have Grandpa bathe ihs wife and Mun cook).  

Mun rushes to get dressed.  We see his  art awards, his superhero sketches.  He walks with a limp due to the accident.

Scene 3: On the way to the noodle shop Mun, Boy Friend, and Girl Friend (they don't get names) discuss they superhero characters for their video game or manga.  Mun insists that they stop to pick up a flier about a missing person. Maybe this will be important later?


Scene 4: The noodle shop is very famous, and packed, with a line around the block outside. It's run by people with super powers: when Young Man's kinfe breaks, Middle Aged Woman throws a new one across the room, and he catches it by the handle!. Meanwhile Young Woman carries four 50-liter jugs of water through the back alley.  Isn't the first rule of scriptwriting to identify your characters by name?. 

Young Woman has a vision of someone being killed, and rushes back into the noodle shop to announce that it's a Level 2, Maybe a Level 3.  They all leave their customers and jump into the  Mystery Machine.  Mun and his friends, who have been waiting in line, protest.

Mun and Boy Friend comment "She's pretty."  To identify themselves as heterosexual? 

Scene 5: The Demon Slayers  arrive at the demon-sighting location, put on red hoodies and black masks, and call the middle-aged Cheoi-jung, who is wearing a stupid-looking toupee.  He says he'll get there as fast as he can.

The Demon is a cute guy in a black hoodie.  They chase him over rooftops and fight him with Asian martial arts.  In the end, he gets away, Cheoi-jung is killed, and a ball of energy shoots off into the sky.  So far we've had four characters named, and three of them died immediately.

Scene 6:  Back at the noodle shop, Mun and his friends finally sit down to eat.  They gush annoyingly over how good the food is.  Even after they lealve, they continue to gush over the food.

Do we really need to spend five minutes of air hearing "it was so good!" over and over?  At least use a thesaurus!

The ball of energy zaps into Mun, who rises into the air, falls back down again, loses consciousness, and suddenly has the same bad toupee as Cheoi-jung!  

Scene 7: Mun goes home.  It's his birthday, so Grandpa made him a cake.  This is the first I'm hearing of it.  Neither of his friends mentioned that it was his birthday, or gave him presents.  Maybe that's the custom in Korea?

Scene 8: Mun washes his hair, but the bad toupee is still there.  He falls asleep and awakens in his bed on a vast, muddy lake.  An elderly woman introduces herself as Wi-Gen. And he wakes up.



Scene 9:
  In the library the next day, Mun discusses the experience with Girl Friend.   She kids him that it was an erotic dream.  Suddenly he sees the bullies extorting money out of Boy Friend. -- he finally gets a name, Ung-min.  

Mun intervenes, with a lot of gay subtext buddy bonding rhetoric: "You're my friend!  I would die for you!"

Head Bully (Lee Hong-nae), who has red hair to make him more sinister, happens to be the Mayor's son.

Scene 10: Scary Sunglass Guy climbs out of his limousine feet first. Interesting -- it's usually a woman who gets out of a car feet first, so the audience can perv on her high-heel shoes. 

He bows at the shrine set up for the memory of Cheoi-jung (who died in Scene 5). Then he visits the Demon Slayers and announces that the mourning period is over, so it's time to get back to work: the Level Three Demon captured Cheoi-jung's soul, but Wi-Gen (whom Mun dreamed of) got out and latched onto the body of a "splendid guy." He was just walking around, not even in a coma.

A boy possessed by the soul of an elderly woman!  Sounds interesting!

They are shocked.  How can someone who is not in a coma become a Counter?  

Scary Sunglasses Guy asks Mo-Tak to mentor the boy, make something of him, so they can catch the Level Three Demon who ate Cheoi-jung's soul. So, which one is Mo-Tak?

Scene 11: A male and female detective are bickering at the scene of Cheoi-jung's "suicide." Wait-- the morning period is over and they're still investigating?  Don't you mourn for like six months?

. Everyone criticizes the woman: "What an attention whore!  We need to get her married off!"  So, in Korea married women can't be cops?   

Apparently the police are in bed with the demons, so all of the evidence has been removed and destroyed.

Scene 12: The Mayor and his assistant discuss Cheoi-jung's "suicide" while passing protesters: "Keep our city safe!" "The mayor is killing our children!"  Uh-oh, the mayor is in bed with the demons, too.

Scene 13: At school. Boy Friend is angry with Mun for standing up to the bullies.  Now he'll be beat up, or even killed, which would be bad because...well, you know how I feel.   Girl Friend agrees with him: now they'll both be killed.  


Scene 14: On
the way home, Mun runs into the bullies, but they're more interested in taunting him and stealing his stuff than killing him.  Young Woman (is she Mo-Tak?) intervenes, beats up the bullies, and tells Mun "You'd better come with me."

She takes him to headquarters for pizza and an exposition dump: The Demon Slayers hunt down dead souls who have escaped from Hell   Mun thinks they're all crazy.

Aha! The Young Man is Mo-Tak (Yoo Jun-Sang, left).  He refuses to train someone so weak and wimpy.  

Middle-Aged Woman shows Mun how to visit the afterlife.  It looks different to evreyone, but for him, it's a vast muddy lake.  

More exposition dump: when bad people escape from the afterlife, they possess the body of a living person (Level 1), who gets superpowers.  The demon gradually takes over, and kills someone and eats their soul (Level 2).  The more souls they eat, the more powerful and evil they become, until they reach Level 3.   

I deduce that good people take over the living, too, and become Counters.

Scene 15: Back at headquarters, Mun says "thanks, but no thanks, the job is too dangerous, but I'll still come to your noodle shop."  They ask him to think it over.

Boy Friend calls: The bullies have kidnapped him, and Mun must meet them at the gym or they will kill him.  Rescuing your Boy Friend instead of a girl?  That's the definition of gay subtext!

Mun rushes to the gym.  They taunt him.  The end.


Beefcake: 
No, although some of the cast looks good shirtless.

Other Sights: Nice exterior shots.

Gay Characters:  Gay subtext romance between Mun and Boy Friend.

Names:  Most of the major characters don't get named.  I figured some of them out using wikipedia, but others are a mystery.   The top photo, for instance, is Jung Won-chang, who plays Shin hyuk-woo. He's not Mun, Boy Friend, Head Bully, or Mo-Tak   

My Grade: B-.  Points off for the five minutes of "These noodles are so good!"  "They are good!" "They are so good!" 

Nov 29, 2020

"Max Reload and the Nether Blasters": Not Heterosexist, Not Interesting

 


Max Reload and the Nether Blasters!
  Horrible title.  I assume it's either a Christian movie with a "life-affirming" heterosexual message or a retro "teen nerd wins The Girl."  But it stars the hunky Lukas Gage, so I stream it on Amazon Prime.

Prologue: Two ancient Egyptian gods are playing chess on a map of the constellations, I guess.  I dunno. Bursts of power flow into a pyramid and spell out the opening titles.

Scene 1: Max (Tom Plumley),  Reggie (Joey Morgan), and Lizzie (Hassie Harrison) are playing a Dungeons-and-Dragons-style video game.  Reggie and Lizzie, clerks in a video game store, are interrupted by rude customers.  Max is playing at home.

They play for a very long time, while the audience watches.

Scene 2: It's  6:15,  time for Max's shift, so he gets dressed and rushes into the kitchen to grab breakfast/lunch/something (swigging orange juice directly from the bottle).  A scruffy guy grabs him and points a gun at his head. 

Surprise!  They were playing a game.  Scruffy Dude suggests that he apply to tech school so he can learn to design video games instead of just playing them: "Be a hero in your own life."  

Aha!  Scruffy Dude is his Grandpa, raising Max after his parents died.

Sccne 3: Max's car won't start, so he takes a bike to work.  On the way, he is accosted by Seth (Lukas Gage), a bully from a 1980s teen nerd movie, who insult hims by implying that he's a woman ("Maxi-pad") and gay ("your little boyfriend Reggie").  Max counters by criticizing his game-playing skills and the size of his penis. 

At least Lizzie has already broken up with him, so Max won't have to spend the entire movie trying to Win the Girl.

Scene 4: At the video game score, Lizzie is explaining how to acquire "hookers, heroin and homicide" to a preteen player, while his mother looks on, horrified.  When Max arrives, she explains that Seth is jealous because he is a better gamer and coder, and of course much hotter.

Chuck the Cool Boss (Kevin Smith)doesn't mind Max coming in late.  Lizzie complains that Max always gets away with everything, because....well, they all seem to understand why, but I don't.  Because Max is hot?  Or because he's good at gaming?

 A lengthy scene where they discuss gaming stuff that I don't understand.  

Steve the Delivery Guy (Jesse Kove) delivers some heavy boxes of virtual-reality costumes.  Reggie flirts with him, but is rebuffed.

Next we spend a lot of time watching Max strap Chuck into his costume.  I don't know why.; maybe it will be important to the plot later?  

Max looks disgusted while strapping up Chuck's crotch.  That could mean he's straight, or that he doesn't find Chuck's crotch attractive.


Scene 5:
Steve the Delivery Guy asks Lizzie to join him at the gym for a workout.  She agrees.  Uh-oh, competition for The Girl.  So Max, naturally, waits until he leaves and then makes fun of him: he has poor gaming skills and goes to a gym.  What a loser!

Criticizing someone for being muscular?  Max must be straight.

They discuss video game developers. For a long time. Max's hero is Eugene Wylder, who developed the Nether Realm game in 1984. 

I'm bored.  I'm fast forwarding.

Eugene Wylder and Grandpa join Max, Reggie, and Lizzie to fight some glowing-eyed zombies.  

Reggie and Max have a heart to heart: "We're all proud of you."  

Lizzie kissex Max on the cheek. 

 Grandpa hugs Eugene. 

They cosplay their characters for a climactic final battle.  

Final scene: Max, Lizzie, and Reggie join the E-Sports league as the Nether Blasters.  Meanwhile, Eugene and Grandpa are being interviewed: "We will bring Nether Realm to the next level," with Max and his team as lead developers.  Chuck is jubilant: "This game is gonna change history!"

 This is more important than saving the world from glowing-eyed zombies?


Beefcake: No.

Heterosexism: Max and Lizzie are standing on opposite sides of the group.  There is no fade-out kiss.  They are obviously not a couple (unless they had a heart-to-heart while I was fast-forwarding).  

This scene does not appear in the movie.

Dirty Double Entendres: "Nether Blasters" sounds dirty, but otherwise everyone seems squeaky-clean.  Even a mildly off-color phrase gets Lizzie reprimanded.

Gay Characters: As far as I can tell,  there are no romantic entanglements of any sort, which is a relief.  Max, Reggie, Grandpa, Eugene, Chuck -- any of them could be gay.  Or none of them.  It's not LGBT representation, but it's not heterosexist, either.

Endless, Excruciatingly Dull Discussions of Gaming: Yes.

They Think Gaming is More Exciting than Fighting Monsters: Yes.

My Grade:  B if you are a gamer, F if you aren't. 

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