Jun 21, 2014
Two Zombie Movies with Gay Characters
You would think that surviving the Apocalypse would leave little time for hetero-romance, but there always is one.
And no gay people, ever.
Many zombie movies are based on graphic novels with gay characters, but they're always heterosexualized, or their sexual identity is not mentioned at all, which the director explains with the homophobic cliche: "I don't want to tell a gay story. I want to tell a human story."
1. Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009), a parody about a gay couple (Doug Fahl, Cooper Hopkins) and an Iranian woman trapped in small town full of zombies, homophobes, and xenophobes.
3. Stephen King's novel Cell (2006) has a major character, Tom, one of those "lonely confirmed bachelor" stereotypes who assists comic-book writer Clay in his goal of trekking through zombie-invested Maine in search of his son. He never mentions a boyfriend or same-sex desire, and no one says "gay" until halfway through the book, but at least he's a gay character.
The movie version is scheduled to come out later this year, with John Cusack as Clay Samuel L. Jackson as Tom. I'm guessing that they're going to substitute "black" for "gay."
See also: The Postapocalyptic Fade-Out Kiss; and The Walking Dead: Gay People Unwelcome at the End of the World.
Jun 20, 2014
Fall 1973: Have You Had a Squirt Today?
As a direct consequence, I hated all lemon-lime flavored soft drinks. I wouldn't go near them unless I was sick.
I still won't.
But when I was going to Washington Junior High, my friends Dan and Darry and I had some fun with the name. We were just becoming aware of some other things that squirted, so we greeted each other with dirty-sounding questions like:
"Have you had a Squirt today?"
"Want a taste of my Squirt?"
"Little Squirty has a present for you."
Little Squirty was the advertising mascot, a small blond boy carrying an oversized phallic symbol...um, I mean pop bottle.
Maybe. This ad is captioned "When taste grows up, Squirt shows up."
The nerd in the striped swim suit and lollipop likes those other soft drinks, but once you grow up, you get muscular and start looking at ladies (or, in the case of the middle guy, your male friends).
And you suddenly find yourself wanting a Squirt.
Little Squirty was quite attached to that bottle, wasn't he?
Maybe he was trying to figure out a way to get to the Squirt without a bottle opener. Hint: treat it like Aladdin's Lamp.
See also: My Junior High Fantasies of Paul Getty Jr.; and He'll Eat Most Anything.
Jun 19, 2014
The Fabulous Bottoms Boys
Born in Santa Barbara, California in 1951, Timothy made his acting debut in Johnny Got His Gun (1971), a dramatic tour de force about a soldier who loses his arms and legs. He was very busy during the 1970s, but mostly in serious dramatic roles that I didn't see: Winesburg, Ohio (1973), based on the Sherwood Anderson stories; The Paper Chase (1973), about first-year law school students; A Small Town in Texas (1976), about a grifter in a small town in Texas.
During the 1980s and 1990s, he played mostly characters in small towns or the wilderness who hook up with women. However, he made up for it by taking off his shirt a lot. And by parodying President George W. Bush three times.
Unlike his brother, he has appeared in some gay-subtext vehicles: The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976), opposite Clint Eastwood, Apocalypse Now (1979), opposite Marlon Brando, and Hunter's Blood (1986), a Deliverance clone about evil hillbillies threatening some city boys.
He died in 2008.
Timothy and Sam may be the most famous of the Bottoms Boys, but there are two more:
In 1975, he became the only one of the Bottoms boys to appear nude in the gay-themed After Dark.
2. Ben, born in 1960, also appeared in Stalk the Wild Child, plus the anti-cult movie Blinded by the Light (1980), and a few more his brothers' vehicles.
See also: The Fabulous Bridges Boys
Jun 17, 2014
10 Gay Things You Should Know About Cornwall
Jun 16, 2014
Henry Fuseli: The Gay Painter of the Romantic Era
He specialized in mythological topics, including illustrations of Milton's Paradise Lost and Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream, or Thor Battling the Midgard Serpent from Norse mythology (left).
Ok, the scene happens in the Nibelungenlied, but still, it's a rather unusual topic for a painting, unless you're a bondage enthusiast.
Maybe Fuseli just wanted to show a naked guy not having sex with a woman.
He often depicts men being accosted by predatory women. Here Satan fights with the feminine Death (odd, because Death is a masculine noun in German, der Tod).
Gay in real life, Fusili put off marriage until he was 47, when he was too old to fuss with that "sex" stuff. Later proto-feminist Mary Wollstonecraft (A Vindication of the Rights of Women) got a crush on him, and proposed a "threesome" with his wife Sofia. He refused and cut off all contact.
See also: The Gay Romantic Era
Jun 15, 2014
Guys and Dolls:Musical with Mostly Guys
Nathan has been engaged to Miss Adelaide (Vivian Blaine) for 14 years, but has no interest in marriage, "old ball and chain." Sky is not interested in women at all.
Especially when the girl turns out to be the prim-and-proper Sergeant Sarah Brown (Jean Simmons) of the Save-a-Soul Mission (a take on the Salvation Army).
Sky knows his way around a bet; he tells Sarah that he will fill her mission with sinners in exchange for the dinner. She agrees, and naturally they fall in love -- you can't have everything.
There is also a group of gamblers led by the corpulent Nicely-Nicely (Stubby Kaye), who display no heterosexual interest.
No beefcake, but the period costumes are great. So are the songs.
The stage version is even less hetero-romance-bound. Nathan Detroits have been played by Robert Guillaume, Bob Hoskins, Nathan Lane, and Oliver Platt, and Sky Masterson by Robert Alda, Peter Gallagher, Ewan McGregor, and Craig Bierko.
Nosferatu: The First Gay Vampire
The first, other than the lost Hungarian Drakula halála (1921), was Nosferatu (1922). Director F. M. Murnau changed the names and some of the details when he couldn't get the rights to the novel, but he kept the dread and disgust.
This is not the romantic figure in cape and tails who enthralls his victims with the hint of sexual ecstasy. The nosferatu is a monster who smells of rotting corpses and brings pestilence and death. To portray Count Orlok, Max Schreck drew on all of the anti-Semitic stereotypes common in the era, from the hooked nose and bushy eyebrows to the blood libel.
And on homophobia.
The next morning Gustav doesn't remember what happened, but he is filled with disgust.
Next Count Orlok sets his fangs on Ellen (Greta Schroeder), Hutter's wife, who has "a lovely neck." But when she gives herself willingly to him, he bursts into flame. This is perhaps the first time in history where a same-sex liaison increases one's vigor, but a heterosexual liaison is fatal.
Costume designer Albin (gay actor Udo Kier) and cinematographer Fritz (Cary Elwes) discover that Max Schreck really is a vampire, and Murnau knew it all along. Unfortunately, they are both killed before the vampire exploes. But at least Murnau got his movie.
10 Things You Should Know About Brandon Jones
1. His first screen role was "Obnoxious Senior" on 90210 in 2009.
2. He's not the same Brandon Jones as the gay porn star.
3. In 2010, he appeared in the web reality series If I Can Dream, about five aspiring performers sharing a house. He played the Pool Guy.
5. On The Fosters, about a lesbian couple and their foster children, he played Liam, Callie's former foster brother, who was grooming his new foster sister for sexual abuse.
6. Although he plays jocks and prettyboys, at home he's a complete nerd.
7. He played Jebediah, the Amish boy denuded by the Two Broke Girls
8. In 2013, he starred in the sitcom Trainers, about the wacky employees of a struggling gym. Only three episodes were filmed, but you can see them on youtube.
10. He's a gay ally.
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