Can Netflix redeem itself with "Red Rose," About an Evil App Harassing Gay and Straight Teens?

After my last three or four grim reviews, I have to conclude that Netflix, the streaming service that brought us Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, The Good Place, Bojack Horseman, and Kim's Convenience, has been reduced to dredge.    But maybe Red Rose, a British tv series about a murderous app, will break the heteronormative trend.  I'll watch Episode #1, "It's Grim Up North."

Scene 1: Manchester, Christmastime.  Snow, trees, ecstatic crowds. Teenage Alyssa says goodbye to her friends and stares in horror at carolers. Come on, they're singing "The Carol of the Bells,' not "Have Yourself a..."    Mom calls to back out of picking her up, so Alyssa walks home.  She rushes into the elegant noveau-modern mansion and turns the smart thermostat up to 27 (80 degrees Fahrenheit).  But it turns down to 0!  And the big screen tv is mirroring her!   Lights and vacuum cleaners go off and on at random.  Alyssa yells for the home app Electra to turn everything off, but it doesn't obey  She runs through the house terrified.  Mum finally gets home, but it's too late: Alyssa jumps off the roof!  WTF?  What was she afraid of?  A cranky home app?  Mum?

Scene 2: Bolton, a quaint, very English town near Manchester, six months later.  Two teenage girls, Wren (blonde) and Roche (brunette), are sitting on a rustic road, discussing the end of exams and summer plans. They sign each other's shirts, frolick, and almost kiss, but they are interrupted by a third girl.  Any boys in this show?   Finally  -- two boys, Noah  and Antony (Ellis Howard, below), catch up to joke and tease the girls. 

Cut to teens in school uniforms dancing on hilltops.  Noah and Antony dance with each other, but pair off with girls to smoke and drink and play patty-cake (teenagers?  Is that a British thing?). 

A Middle Eastern guy,  Taz (Ali Khan), joins them, which upsets one of the girls but delights the others.  They invite him to join their friend group, the Dickheads.  Are organized friend groups a thing?  

All of the Dickheads except for Roche, who is poor, have been invited to Rich Snob Becky's party.  They approach and ask if she can come, too. Becky tries to exclude Roche by making up a 10 quid ($12) door charge, but the friends offer to pay it for her.  "Sigh...ok, but it's 'dress to impress'"

Scene 3: While the others are dancing, Wren and Noah (Harry Redding) find a deserted phone booth and make out. What is a phone booth doing in the hills, with no buildings or roads around?  Poor girl Roche sees them and is upset.  She wanders off by herself, and gets a text inviting her to download an app, Red Rose: "Welcome to the new you." 

Scene 4: Morning. Roche awakens and goes downstairs to a shabby, mismatched house, two whiney preteen sisters, a dead Mum, and a Dad who is folding laundry (Samuel Anderson, top photo).  She prepares breakfast, but there's not enough cereal to go around.  She complains that she has to look after the twins all summer, so she won't be able to hang out with her friends.  'Why don't you invite them to our shabby hovel?" Dad suggests.  "Um...no, I'm ashamed that we're poor."  

Scene 5: The five Dickheads are leaving a pasty shop in downtown Bolton, when they run into Jaya (a girl).  She quotes from The Goonies (they're fans of a 40-year old movie?).  She's not going to the Rich Snob Party because, um...she's hanging out with her old mates. Realizing that she actually can't afford the cover charge, Roche makes fun of her.  But you're poor, too.  Covering? 

Next, some bully girls accuse Wren of being a slut; Roche defends her.  Then she breaks away from the group to play with her Red Rose app, which asks: "Do you need help?" "No!"

Scene 6: Wren working in a tea shop.  Her coworkers ask about the mysterious boy she is dating.  Cut to a cemetery, where Wren meets with an older, bearded guy (Adam Nagaitis?).  He asks if they can be more open about their relationship, but she refuses and stomps off: "Don't push me!" 

Scene 7: Night. Roche (the poor one) is entertaining her sibs with hand puppets. Suddenly the lights go out: the electro-card reader is out of money.  

The app asks again "Do you need help?"  "Yes!" 

 "Write three wishes on a mirror, and chant these disturbing words."  Roche goes to her room and writes: "Wealth. Power. Respect."  The lights come back on -- 100 pounds was added to the account!  In the morning, there's a sparkly princess dress and new shoes waiting for her.  So, what about the power and respect?

Scene 8:  The Friend Group is playing a board game.  Does anyone under 60 still do that?   Roche bursts in to show off her new shoes.  Bestie Wren wants to know if Roche is upset about her dating Noah.  Of course she is. 

Scene 9: Roche is taking her younger sisters on a wilderness hike.  The app instructs her to build a fire, so she does.  Then it reveals a ghostly image of her Mum.  Horrified, Roche takes the girls to the store where a girl named Ash works.  She doesn't see anything on the phone.  Roche gets a flapjack (what Americans call a brownie).  

Next, Roche and Wren discuss their relationship and upset each other by referring to their parents: Dead Mum, and...um, something wrong with Dad.   Roche rushes off to a mansion, where a middle-aged woman has been minding the kids, and blurts out: "Wren has been seeing Rick!"  Soap opera, innit?  Then she goes home and looks at videos of her Dead Mum.

Scene 9: The middle-aged woman confronts Wren about dating Rick. Wait, the older, bearded guy from the cemetery is not a boyfriend, he's Wren's Dad, who is not allowed to see her.   He must have done something truly horrifying to not even get structured visitation.  "He's better now," Wren argues.  "He doesn't get better! What he did..."   Keep it a mystery, why don't you?

Scene 10: Roche brings the kids to a food bank, where they also have free breakfasts. She didn't get much wealth, did she?  The priest wants to know why she's upset.   More stuff about the fight with Wren.  

Scene 11; We finally get to the Rich Snob Party advertised in Scene 2.  The app instructs Roche to "kiss Noah" (Wren's boyfriend).  She refuses, so it displays a video of her at the food bank.  To humiliate her for being poor?  It repeats: "Kiss Noah, or everyone will know the real you."  So she does -- and that's displayed on the big tv, too!  Wren is upset.

Scene 12: On the way home, the app shows Roche a picture of the kids -- with Dead Mum behind them!  The end.

Beefcake: None.  The three teenage boys don't even have any shirtless pics online.

Other Sights: Lots of Bolton.

Heterosexism: Wren is dating Noah, but the plot is actually about her relationship with Roche.

Gay Characters:  Wren and Roche have a gay subtext romance.  Antony, the member of the Dickheads with just two lines in this episode, comes out as gay later on, but I don't know how much character development he gets.

Paranormal: The app hasn't done anything yet that couldn't be done with computer hacking, but we'll see...

My Grade: B

Update: In Episode 3,  the evil app lures Antony to a public restroom by pretending to be a hot guy on a Grinder-like app. So there are no gay organizations, and everyone is deeply closeted.  Sounds rather retro.

Pufnstuf: The Dragon and the Witch Compete over Jimmy's Flute

 I can’t watch H. R. Pufnstuf anymore. The lightning-quick takes, psychedelic colors, lame wise-cracks, and aggressive laugh-track are annoying. But in 1969, when I was 8 years old, I looked forward to it all week.

In the opening segment, a cute, androgynous sixteen-year old named Jimmy (Jack Wild, fomerly of Oliver), with a Beatles moptop and a cowboy hat, is prancing through a bucolic mountain countryside, playing with his golden flute (it is not really gold in color but dark bronze, thicker and blockier than real flutes, and extremely phallic later, as it peeps out of Jimmy’s pocket).

 A “kooky old witch” named Witchiepoo (Billie Hayes), passing by on her supersonic Vroom-Broom, spies Jimmy and decides that her drafty old castle could use his youthful vitality – and his ten inches of flute. She instructs a sentient boat to lure Jimmy aboard with the promise of a pleasant journey to Living Island. But when the trip commences, the boat develops arms and claws to hold Jimmy securely in place, while the witch laughs maniacally, and:

The sky grew dark
The sea grew rough
And the boat sailed on and on and on and on


In a scene that is still frightening today, Jimmy manages to free himself from the grasping claws, and dives into the dark, choppy sea. He crawls onto a distant, desolate beach and collapses, half-drowned and exhausted. Then – somewhat too late – help arrives. A tall green-and-yellow dragon named H. R. Pufnstuf resuscitates Jimmy, moves him into his cave, and dresses him in a garish Fab Four outfit (one wonders where the dragon got human clothes. Have there been other Jimmies, lost boys washing up on the beach over and over forever?). Then Pufnstuf introduces Jimmy to the citizens of Living Island, various animals, plants, and inanimate objects, all sentient and wise-cracking, almost all male.

Since Jimmy is well protected, Witchiepoo turns her attention to the flute, now sentient and named Freddy. Most episodes involve Witchiepoo’s grandiose, impractical schemes to steal Freddy, or, when she succeeds, Jimmy and company’s equally grandiose, impractical schemes to retrieve him. Jimmy also mounts a few half-hearted escape attempts, but it is obvious that he has no real desire to leave Living Island. Witchiepoo is more cranky than evil, promising excitement more than threat, and Jimmy is having the time of his life, dancing, singing, putting on plays with a group of caring, attentive friends who tolerate all of his many gender transgressions.

The feature film Pufnstuf appeared in July 1970. In a new back story, Jimmy has recently moved from England to a resort town (Big Bear Lake, California), where he plays the flute in the school band (rather a fairy choice of instrument, I thought). During a practice session on the front lawn of a gaudy, baroque junior high school, the other boys insult him, mock his accent, and finally trip him, and he knocks over some music stands. True to junior high form, the teacher concludes that Jimmy is the troublemaker, and kicks him out of the band. Jimmy runs away, through a town of small brown cabins and autumn-orange trees that, for all its beauty, promises nothing but brutality and viciousness. Eventually he stops by the lake to rest. Suddenly his flute grows longer and thicker, changes from gold to brown, and starts to move of its own accord – an awkward moment for Jimmy to enter puberty!

Witchiepoo happens to be flying overhead, and the plot proceeds as in the series. But now she has a homosocial motive for her designs. She believes that Freddy the Flute will be a perfect trinket to impress the other witches, especially Witch Hazel (Mama Cass Eliot of The Mamas and the Papas), with whom she has a sort of Auntie Mame/Vera Charles rivalry.

All of the many witches we meet in the film are female, and all are aggressively heterosexual. Witchiepoo tries to sneak into Pufnstuf’s cave by flirting with him as vampish dance instructor Benita Bugaloo, and when she telephones Witch Hazel, their conversation consists mostly of gossip about which female witch is dating which man. The film makes Living Island, conversely, a veritable Fire Island, inhabited by ten men (or male beings) and only two women, Pufnstuf’s sister and Judy the Frog (a parody of gay icon Judy Garland).

 None of them is married or involved with the other sex, nor do any of the male residents “boing” with lust over Witchiepoo in her bodacious disguise. It was not unusual for children’s films a generation ago to omit heterosexual content, but quite unusual to place it squarely in the laps of evil witches while infusing the hero and his friends with a blatantly gay sensibility.

Certainly Jimmy’s cherubic cuteness and sexy Cockney accent made the show a must-see for me in 1969, but there is more. The crux of the action is a competition between the female Witchiepoo and the male Pufnstuf over control of Jimmy’s phallus ( Freddy the Flute), and it ends unequivocally in the male camp. Witchiepoo lives in a dark, sinister castle dug-through with dungeons and pits, and Pufnstuf in a gaudy psychedelic Arcadia, with living trees and flowers. Witchiepoo barks out orders to cowering servants, Pufnstuf offers advice to dear friends. Who would disagree that the Dragon is far superior to the Witch?

There's a gay hookup story about Jack Wild on Tales of West Hollywood.

The Male Ladybug and His Biceps

17 episodes of The Bugaloos aired during the 1970-71 season, and were rerun in 1971-72.  That's a little short, even for a Sid and Marty Krofft live action-animatronic series: Sigmund and the Sea Monsters had 29, and Land of the Lost had 43.

But millions of Boomers fondly recall the 17 episodes, and the infinite array of tie-in merchandise: a record album, a lunchbox, a board game, a 4-issue comic book series, costumes for Halloween, 3 novels.

The Bugaloos were a hippie family/rock band composed of  British insect people, all named after virtues.

1. I.Q. (John McIndoe), a gangly blond grasshopper

2. Harmony (Wayne Laryea) a black bumblebee

3. Joy (Caroline Ellis) a female butterfly

4. Courage (John Philpott) a muscular male ladybug.

Very muscular.  Always wearing a tight red shirt that highlighted his pecs and lay bare his arms and shoulders.

And exceptionally tight pants.










Unlike most Krofft shows, they were not trapped far from home: they lived in a hippie commune, the Tranquility Forest, singing, dancing, flying, and displaying no heterosexual interest

But their Eden was threatened by Benita Bizarre (Martha Raye), who hated their youth, their beauty, their freedom, their talent, and. . .well, their tranquility.  She stole Joy's voice and IQ's wings; she kidnapped and branwashed Courage; she tried to drive them out of their forest.

Establishment fear of the youth counterculture,but from the counterculture's point of view.  Clash of innocence and experience, age and. . um, obviously a metaphor for. . .um. . .

Who could think about anything but the male ladybug, with his sleeveless shirt and obvious bulge?

Update: The Bugaloos was John Philpott's only acting gig.   He performed in several bands and as a cabaret singer, and is now retired and living in France.  As far as I can tell, only his family and friends had the opportunity to see his muscles close-up.

See also: Pufnstuf

"From", on MGM Plus: "Lost" in a Small Town, with Real Men Protecting their Wives and Kids

 

Amazon Prime has been pushing me to watch an episode of a series called From, a one-word title that's impossible to research, but apparently it's about a small town where "you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave." LGBT people who grew up trapped in homophobic small towns can relate. 

 It stars Harold Perrineau, Michael on Lost, so doubtless it has some intriguing mysteries inside mysteries.  And hopefully, 18 years since Lost premiered, more gay characters.

Only problem: this is a drug-dealer "first taste is free" setup.  One free episode to get you hooked, and then you have to pay.  I'm not paying, but I'll take the first taste.

Opening: MGM tells us that this is a MGM production, that MGM has always produced the world's best movies, that this is a MGM production, and that you need to subscribe to watch the other episodes.

Scene 1: A very run-down rural community, rusty cars, unpainted buildings.  Michael from Lost walks down the dirt road, ringing a bell.  People walk toward their houses. A waitress kicks two customers out of the diner -- closing time -- and touches a strange icon handing from the wall.  Michael passes a terribly cliched little girl on a swingset holding a doll. She's obviously a goner, but the background song broadcasts it: "Little girl, so young and pretty, you'll be dead before your time is due."  

In an old person's home, Deputy Kenny (Ricky He) tries to convince his eldery father, who has dementia, to go into the basement.  The nurse pulls him down; Kenny flirts with her and leaves.  

Some hippies are playing with a ball outside an old mansion.  They drop it and go inside.

Deputy Kenny joins Michael from Lost -- I guess the character is named Boyd -- and asks if it is all clear.  Yep.  Sheriff Boyd goes into the post office -- "96 nights without incident."

Scene 2:  A bearded guy tries to rouse the drunken, sleeping Frank.  His boyfriend?  No such luck -- he's the father of the swingset girl.  Bearded guy can't rouse him, so he puts tarps over the window and touches his weird icon.

Meanwhile, Swingset Girl and her Mom are wondering what's keeping Frank -- it's getting dark!  Mom sends Swingset Girl upstairs to say her prayers  -- "If I should die before I wake," hint hint.  Suddenly Grandma calls to her from outside the window: "Let me in!  I'm so lonely!"  The idiotic Swingset Girl opens the window, whereupon Grandma turns into a screaming monster.  

Opening Theme: Ahh!  It's most horribly sad, depressing song ever recorded! End of the world, end of everything, no hope, darkness, despair.  Who in his right mind would use that song for an opening theme? Do they want the audience to commit suicide?  I fast forward past, but still, I heard a few words... Now I'm going to be depressed all day.  

No, I'm not going to tell you what the song is.  That would require me to think about it.  

Scene 3: Ok, on to the much less disturbing show.  A nuclear family driving down the highway in a huge RV -- the behomoth actually has a hallway!  Teenage daughter is torturing her little brother by claiming that one of his finger puppets is dead, killed by a monster.  Foreshadowing, anyone?  Mom calms him down by pointing out that monsters don't exist, so the puppet must be alive. Foreshadowing, anyone? Dad (Eion Bailey) congratulates her on her parenting skills. 

Scene 4: Morning.  Frank (Bob Mann), who was too drunk to go home, stumbles toward his house.  Everyone is gathered round.  Sheriff Boyd attacks him: "You're a Man!  A Man takes care of his wife and kids!"  How stultifyingly sexist.  "Your wife and daughter were killed last night, and it's your fault!"  How could he have helped?  Swingset Girl let the monster in.  Sheriff  Boyd sentences him to lock-up, which will become a death sentence if he is detained overnight.

Meanwhile, the Nuclear Family is stopped by a giant tree blocking the road. Dad, who is a Man, tries to muscle it aside, but is unsuccessful.  They have no choice but to turn around. 

Scene 5:  Sheriff Boyd visits the hippie commune.  Head hippie Donna points out that he's not welcome there, but he asks to see his son.  Ok, just this once. Ok, the sheriff is hetero, but maybe the son is gay?

No such luck: Son Ellis (Corteon Moore) is in his art studio, painting a lady's portrait.  He points out how beautiful she is.  At least his shirt is open, so we get some beefcake.

Son Ellis is shocked to find out that they lost "Lauren" to the monsters last night. "Lauren is..." "I know who she is!" Lost-style mystery for its own sake.  Most of them were never resolved. 

Scene 6: The Nuclear Family driving back the way they came.  But it looks all different. Where's the highway?  They end up at the town, where everyone is gathered for the funeral of Swingset Girl and her Mom, with a priest giving the eulogy (tv tropes: all Christians are Catholic).  They all glare at the newcomers and scatter.  Sheriff Boyd gives them directions back to the highway.

They drive, but end up back at the town!  They stop to ask for directions again, and are ignored.   A girl in a 1930s sun dress complains to her overall-wearing brother that it's always bad for the new arrivals, who think that they will be able to leave.   He goes out to the barn to feed the animals.  I was wondering how they eat in this town.

The Nuclear Family ends up back in town a third time!  They argue.  Mom criticizes Dad's ability to follow directions, a major insult for a Man.  They turn around and head out again, while the townsfolk watch.  Deputy Kenny: "You think they're ready?"  Sheriff Boyd: "Go get the strip." Comic strip? No, he means a spike strip, used to stop cars.

Scene 7: During their fourth try, they hit an oncoming car and crash into a ravine!  They are all ok, except for the preteen boy, who has a table leg through his thigh! (Another inch, and he'd have been castrated, which might have impacted his chances of growing up to be a Man).  

The driver of the other car (Tobey), dazed from a head injury, stumbles toward town.  Deputy Kenny takes him to the clinic, while Sheriff Boyd investigates.  A passenger, Jade (David Alpay, left), is unhurt but obviously high.  "You have an amazing face," he tells the Sheriff, who recoils in homophobic disgust and handcuffs him to the car door.  So Jade is gay?  No such luck: Jade says that all of his rescuers are "so beautiful!"  

The Sheriff then tries to rescue the Nuclear Family. Son Ellis, Town Priest, and an EMT help.

Meanwhile, at the clinic, 1930s Sun Dress girl approaches Tobey, the driver of the other car, and reassures him that the accident wasn't his fault.  She kisses him, then stabs him through the jaw!  

Scene 8:  The Nuclear Family is all rescued, except for the preteen son: it will take two hours to extricate him from the table leg, and the sun will set in one hour!  The Sheriff tries to convince Dad that a Man takes care of his family, so his wife and daughter should go into town, where it's safe.  Ok, but Dad is staying.  So they block the windows and put up the weird icon (gee, even upside-down, that RV is the size of a house!).

Meanwhile, on the way back with  Mom, Daughter, and "You're all so beautiful!" Jade, Son Ellis and the Town Priest accidentally run over the spike strip!  And it's almost dark!  They have to run to the hippie commune: "No matter what you see, no matter what you hear, do not stop!"  So the monsters have to lure you?  They can't just grab anyone outside? 

Scene 9:  Back in the RV,  Preteen Son has a seizure.  While Dad and the EMT try to help, Sheriff Boyd looks out the window.  "They're coming," he says, as the monsters converge.  They look like people: a blond woman in a dress, a guy in a workman's suit, an old-fashioned lady librarian-type.  The end.

Beefcake: Just Son Ellis semi-shirtless.

Heterosexism: Two nuclear families, two boy-girl flirtations.

Sexism: Male-female gender polarization everywhere, with a lot of patriarchy, strong, powerful men protecting weak, passive women.

Drinking Game: Every time someone says one of these phrases, you take a drink.  You'll be drunk by minute 45: each appears about 20 times per episode.

1. Can I ask you something?

2. Are you alright?  Not really. 

3. It's not your fault.

Also closeups of people holding hands.

Gay Characters: The town doctor has a girlfriend back home. Fatima makes out with men and women both.  Daughter Julie has a crush on Fatima.  Lots of lesbian/bi women, no gay men.

My Grade: I might continue watching, just for the mystery, and it might be interesting to see the characters' lives before they were trapped on the Island (um,..I mean, in the small town).  If it weren't for the horrible sexism.  And the paywall.  And that depressing theme song....

Update after three episodes: Jade and Deputy Kenny have a little spark, but they both express heterosexual interest as well.  No beefcake except a guy having sex with a woman, and she's on top.  I think the monsters decide to bring people into the village that they think will be fun to hunt; like when the nuclear family mom and daughter got killed, they immediately brought in a new pair.