Aug 5, 2022

Movies in the Fall of 1985: Tim Curry Plays Straight, Michael J. Fox Plays Homophobic, a Teen Nerd Bulges, and a Gay Couple Splashes


 I already covered the years 1984-85 and 1986, so this is filling in the blanks.  I move to West Hollywood in June 1985, found a small apartment (actually a one-room cottage) and three part time jobs, and began the whirl of life in a gay neighborhood: gay church, bookstore, supermarket, gym, laundromat, cookie place.  Apparently I had not yet been socialized into the rule of never setting foot outside a gay neighborhood, if you can help it, so I left often: 11 movies in theaters, as many in six months as I would see in a whole year later on.


August: Weird Science. Two nerds use weird science to build a woman, who becomes a big sister rather than a sex toy (not to worry, they both meet the Girls of their Dreams).  Lots of male nudity, including an underwear scene with Ilan Mitchell-Smith, who would go on to become a history professor.

August: Teen Wolf.  I had just met Michael J. Fox, so I was curious to see if there were any gay subtexts in this story of a boy who "comes out" as a werewolf.  Nope: "I'm not a fag, I'm a werewolf."

September: After Hours,  which would become one of my favorite movies. Griffin Dunne (previously seen in American Werewolf in London) get swept up in the bizarre, surreal world of New York City after hours.  Gay characters are presented matter-of- factly, and even kiss.  I guess the producers thought it would be ok if they only inhabited an underground night world.

October: Dreamchild.  The elderly Mrs. Hargreaves, who inspired Alice in Wonderland when she was a girl, deals with reporters, tabloids, and her conflicting memories of Lewis Carroll.  I went with a guy who had no idea what was going on, since he never heard of Alice in Wonderland.  How is that possible?  (He also didn't know that the Wizard of Oz movie was based on a book series.)

October: Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters. It was nice to be able to go to a gay-themed movie without having to drive 50 miles to a theater in a different city.  Unfortunately, this one closets the gay novelist, making his obsession with muscles irrelevant to his heterosexual identity. 


October:
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.  Obviously the producers were expecting a blockbuster, followed by numerous sequels and an action hero as iconic as Rambo.  But Fred Ward (Remo) was no Sylvester Stallone. Hint: have him take off his clothes!

October: The Silver Bullet. I may have seen this one on tv later.  Teen idol Corey Haim, in a wheelchair, fights werewolves and wins the Girl of His Dreams.

November: My Beautiful Laundrette. A gay couple in modern Britain fight homophobia, racism, and culture clashes.  I don't remember much about it; maybe I was planning to see it, but didn't, for some reason.

November: Bad Medicine. Steve Guttenberg (sigh) goes to med school in a racist-stereotype Central American banana republic, butts heads with the evil Dean, and wins the Girl of His Dreams. It's hot down there; why doesn't he take off his shirt now and then?


December:
Clue: The logical-deduction murder-mystery game brought to life, with six strangers played by recognizable 1980s stars.  All have dark secrets, and of course Mr. Green's dark secret is being gay (except, in one of the three variant endings, he turns out to be a straight undercover cop).  Tim Curry plays the butler Wadsworth, who is also straight.

December: Legend: In a fairytale world, a princess and a bad boy (Tom Cruise) fight a demon played by Tim Curry.  Why did we keep expecting him to play gay characters?  He was obviously trying to disassociate himself from Rocky Horror by playing as many straight/masculine guys as possible. 

Aug 3, 2022

"Cautious Hero": A Reluctant Muscleman Spars with Big-Breasted Goddesses and Demons

 


While sorting through the dozens of new animes on Hulu, looking for gay texts or subtexts, I came across a premise description for Cautious Hero: Seiya "is obsessed with muscle...."  I didn't bother clicking on the rest: any anime featuring a guy obsessed with muscle deserves a look.  Episode 1: "The Hero is Overpowered but Overly Cautious."  I assume that "overpowered" is a mistranslation; they probably meant "overly powerful."

Scene 1: The Unified Divine Realm, where gods and goddesses are in charge of summoning champions to save the various worlds of the multiverse.  Rista, a giggling, airheaded apprentice goddess with enormous breasts, has only saved five worlds, compared to the hundreds of veteran gods.  Yet she is assigned a Level S world, the most difficult!  Obviously someone is trying to sabotage her career; but she is up to the challenge.  Rista tells us all of this while her breasts are bouncing around in our faces.

She sorts through a pile of prospects (all from Japan, of course), evaluating their various skill levels as if they are in a video game.  She comes to Seiya, who is only on Level 1, but his special skill sets are off the charts.  After some training, he'll be perfect!  Besides, he's hot!

Scene 2: Rista summons Seiya (with her breasts still bouncing in our faces) and does the "Do not be afraid.  Doubtless you are overwhelmed by my beauty" spiel.  But he's having none of it: "What kind of freak zaps someone across the infinite realms without their permission?""  Not impressed by her breasts bouncing in his face.  I'm impressed.  Maybe he's not into women.

Shocked, Rista continues: "You are the Chosen One, tasked with saving the world of Gaeabrande from the Demon Lord."

He scoffs: "If you're a goddess, why can't you save the world yourself?"  

"Um...er...well, there are rules.  It has to be a mortal hero."

After some wheedling and cajoling, Seiya agrees to take the job, "on one condition."  He takes off his shirt (nice chest).  Rista thinks that he means sex, but he's just doing push-ups.  The condition: "I get to decide when I'm ready.  I need more training."

What kind of hero is this?  Rista looks at his file again, and notices a comment: "Impossibly cautious."  

Opening Titles.  We are introduced to the team: Seiyu, Rista, a little boy, a little girl, a teenage girl with enormous boobs,  a muscular barbarian, and a mostly-naked Red Sonja lady.  Yuck -- there will be three sets of breasts in our faces during the adventure!  But at least Seiyu isn't interested in girls.


Scene 3:
Rista having tea with the teenage girl: Goddess of the Seal Ariadora. She complains that Seiyu keeps stalling: "I need more training."  The Unified Divine Realm exists outside of time, so there's no big hurry, but what champion doesn't want to start saving his world right away?  "And the longer he stalls, the more likely he'll botch the assignment, and my chance of getting promoted"

The theme song is "Tit for Tat."  I know that "tit" here doesn't actually mean "breast," but still, I found it hilarious.

Ariadora suggests a less authoritarian style of mentoring: treat him like a friend, not an inferior mortal.  Go with him on the mission.  "And by the way, have you provided him with the things humans need, like a toilet?  And food?"  

 "Ulp -- I forgot!"  Rista rushes out.


Scene 4:
She bursts into Seiyu's room while he's doing sit-ups, and gets distracted by his six-pack abs.  "Ever hear of knocking?" he snarls. She brought food, but he knows better than to eat the food of the underworld -- or Divine Realm.  

"By the way, getting more muscular won't increase your skill level much.  You need combat training."

Seiyu ignores her.  She zaps up a toilet, shower, bed, and more food.  "Ok, I won't come back into your room until you summon me."

Scene 5:  Days (or the Divine Realm equivalent) pass.  Seiyu never summons Rista.  Finally she gets annoyed, bursts in, and checks his stats.  He's moved up to Level 15, just by working out.  Impossible!  And his special skills are up, too: Fire Magic Level 9, Boost Level 3, Scan Level 5.  

"I won't be ready until all of my special skills are topped off," Seiyu tells her.

"What???? Impossible!!! And completely unnecessary.  You're just stalling!  We're going now!"  

Finally Seiyu consents.  

Scene 6:  They zap into the countryside on the planet Gaeabrande.  The equipment they'll need is in the town of Edoma, a long walk away.  Why couldn't they just zap into town?

Seiyu worries that Rista's "exhibitionist" outfit will offend the conservative townsfolk, but Rista has magicked them into looking like they belong.  Then a little girl comments that Rista looks like a goddess.  "Ok, kids can see through our disguises."

Scene 7: At the weapons shop (muscular leather-clad clerk). Seiyu wants to buy three sets of steel armor.  "What??? That's too expensive!  Why do you need three?"  "The first to wear, the second as a spare, and the third as a back-up spare."  His file said that he was overly cautious; what did you expect?  

But he can't throw that much money around; it will raise suspicion.  Rista chooses for him: a purple hero outfit with metal epaulets.  

At the herb shop.  Same thing: "Give me 50 medicinal herbs and 50 antidote herbs."  "What??? That's much too expensive!  Why do you need so many?"

Scene 8: It's time to save the world.  They'll start slowly, in the next town over, which has just weak monsters.  Seiyu isn't sure, but the little girl concurs: "Even I can walk to the next town safely.  There's nothing around but a few slime monsters."

Scene 9:  Out in the countryside, they encounter a slime monster, a small blob with googly eyes. It looks perfectly docile, but Seiyu still hides behind some rocks.  "If it attacks, just hit it with a club," Rista tells him.  "Any level can do it."  Instead, he panics and uses his Atomic Split Slash -- several times -- exploding the slime monster and creating an enormous crater. "Stop it!" Rista yells.  "You're going to raise suspicion!"

Scene 10: Whoops, they were noticed.  The mostly-naked Red Sonja lady appears and introduces herself: Chaos Machina, one of the Four Heavenly Kings of the Demon Lord (so, like a duke?).   "Wait -- it's too early to meet a Heavenly King" Rista exclaims.  "The rules..."

"The rules don't apply on a Level S World," Chaos Machina tells her.  "The Dark Lord or his minions can attack at any time. Might as well be now, before your powers are fully developed."

"How do we fight someone so powerful?" Rista asks Seiju, but he's already running away!   The end.

Beefcake: Seiyu is shirtless quite often.

Boobs: Way too many.  It's hard to watch a show with those things flapping in your face all the time. 


Gay Characters:
Seiyu doesn't display any heterosexual interest, but he's probably not gay.  I suspect that he's heterosexual but conservative, disapproving of women who parade around half-naked.

Overly Cautious Hero: Is he cautious, or a coward? I found myself disliking him.

Will I Keep Watching: No.  The show is funny, and Seiyu is adequately hot, but the boobs make it unwatchable.

Aug 1, 2022

Paper Girls: Is There Any Beefcake in This Girl-Power "Stranger Things"?

 I ordinarily wouldn't be watching Paper Girls, an Amazon Prime tv series about time-traveling newspaper delivery girls, because the beefcake and (male) buddy-bonding potential are limited, but the trailer showed two of the girls kissing, and in the comic book series by Brian J. Vaughn, they become a couple (in issue #25 out of #30).  So I'll watch the first episode.

Scene 1: In a darkened bedroom, a middle aged lady drinking and being depressed.  Suddenly she hears electric crackling and rumbling, and the door opening.  She frantically calls someone on her landline -- and gets the answering machine! So she yells "What are you doing in my house?" and ventures out into the living room. Thud. Whimper (according to the subtitles).


Scene 2:
Hell Day: The End of the World as We Knew It.  Twelve-year old Erin awakens in her bunk bed in a suburb of Cleveland.  Not Hawkins, Indiana?  Time for her paper route.

Meanwhile, the other girls get ready.  They come from different  backgrounds: Erin (Chinese-American with overprotective mother), Tiffany (black with physician mother), KJ (Jewish), Mac (stealing cigarettes from passed-out mom).  Only two boy characters so far: the unnamed boy who dropped off the newspapers, and Dylan (Charlie Babbo), Mac's surly brother.  He's a tad on the young side, but I'm already feeling beefcake-deprived, and I'll take whatever I can get.

Scene 3: Erin starts her route.  Hell Day is the day after Halloween, and there are Bush-Quayle signs up, so November 1, 1988.  A man jumps out of his house with a baseball bat and racial slurs, accusing her of stealing his paper, but Tiffany comes to the rescue.  Then Mac rushes up to announce that some bullies are chasing another paper girl; they must rescue her. Why are they delivering to the same neighborhood?


Scene 4:
The bullies, three boys in Halloween costumes, have cornered KJ in a well-lit underground tunnel.  Three boys, three searches for beefcake photos.  This is Carter Shimp, with I assume his boyfriend.  The girls fight them off with sparklers and run.  

Scene 5: They all introduce each other and discuss why the paper is hiring girls instead of boys (they work cheaper).  KC turns out to be rich, with a grandpa who owns most of the town, so Mac hates her.  

They decide to deliver papers as a team, and communicate with walkie-talkies, so they can avoid the roving packs of bullies.  Won't that take four times as long?

Scene 6: Suddenly the bullies from before grab Erin, push her down, and steal her walkie-talkie.  They decide to get revenge, and rush to the gang's hideout, the basement of an unfinished house.  But the gang isn't there; instead, they attack two strangers!  

Scene 7: They run back upstairs and out of the house.  The sky is pink, with dark clouds, illuminating everything with a weird pink light.  They decide to take refuge at Mac's house.  Strange: her brother and father aren't there.  It's only 5:00 am.  Where could they be?  Maybe everyone was evacuated due to a nuclear attack, which would also explain the pink sky.  

The power is out, and the landline is dead.  Mac turns on her walkie-talkie, and hears a man speaking Russian!  Are you sure this isn't Hawkins, Indiana?  

Erin has to get home: her Mom doesn't speak English, and won't understand emergency instructions.  But the other girls won't let her leave,  until they figure out what's going on outside.  

Scene 8: The girls sitting on the kitchen floor (safer) and swapping stories of the crazy things they've seen on their paper routes.  Like the guy who opened the door naked -- it wasn't sexual, he was sleepwalking.

High-pitched sounds, bright lights through the window, a rumbling truck.  It's the Soviets!  Mac runs to get her brother's gun.  "Don't worry, it's not loaded," she says -- as it goes off.  And hits Erin. She drops to the floor, dead.  Wait -- there are four time-traveling girls, so she has to survive, right?

Scene 9: Erin awakens in the car. Tiffany is driving them through the pink light to the hospital.  To keep her conscious, they ask her to sing the theme song to the tv show Growing Pains (also the title of the episode).  They're stopped by two guys wearing face masks, who shoot some classic gray aliens before pulling them from the car.


Scene 10:
The girls and the two guys, Naldo (William Bennett) and Heck 2 (Daniel Rashid, left, presumably with boyfriend and parents)  pull the unconscious Erin into a normally-lit wooded area.  

They explain, sort of: "You're a long way from home.  You've traveled -- and they're coming.  Just help us put her into the capsule.  We have to go!"

Too late -- they're here!  Phaser fight -- run!  They all scatter, even Erin.  No way could she run after being shot and losing all that blood.  She collapses, and a swarm of pink bees flies into her wound and heals her. 

The guys are both shot -- er, phased -- but before he dies, Naldo gives Tiffany a small box, a passage to the "underground."  

The girls run fast through the woods.  They stop to catch their breath and wonder what the heck is going on.  Suddenly Marcus, who wears a futuristic Jetson suit, points a bazooka at them.  "Are you with the Underground?" he demands.  They clobber him with a hockey stick and hide as other Jetson-suits sniff around.  No device that tells you the number of sentient life forms within a 100 meter radius? Star Trek had those.

Scene 11:  The girls run to Erin's house, the closest.  But Erin's Mom isn't there.  Instead, a middle aged lady demands: "What are you doing in my house?"  Tiffany asks "Erin, are you sure this is the right house?", and the lady demands "How do you know my name?"  

You guessed it: she's the middle-aged Erin (who apparently doesn't remember this happening before).  And the calendar on the refrigerator says 2019!  They've zapped forward 31 years!  The end.

Beefcake: None. 

Heterosexism: None.  None of the girls mention boys, except as antagonists. 

Gay Characters: No indication that KC or Mac are gay.  Yet.

Time Travel: Just the briefest of setups.  In the comic book series, they zap all over the timeline, but I think here they'll be stuck in 2019, trying to find a way back home without learning anything that will change the past (I already know that one of them will die of cancer).

Will I Keep Watching: We've had stories about dueling time travel organizations for years, most recently in The Umbrella Academy, but I'm still interested in seeing what happens next.  Maybe I'll watch until the death-bed scene.

"Good Trouble": How Much of the Trouble is Gay in this "Fosters" Spin-Off?

 


Good Trouble, on Hulu, is about eight friends who: "juggle career, sex, love, and friendship, while fighting for social justice and queer rights."   Except Hulu added the "social justice and queer rights" part; the promo just says it's about two sisters, Callie and Mariana, "embarking on the next stage of their life in Los Angeles."  So is it Friends with the Hollywood Sign, or Friends with LGBTQAIA characters?

Curious to see just how queer this series is, I investigated the Friends on wikipedia and the fan website.  I was unable to find any beefcake photos of the male cast members, but this is a spin-off of The Fosters, a teen-angst soap opera about a lesbian couple who adopt and foster a lot of kids, so I'm substituting some of the hunkier ones.

First up, of course, is Jake T. Austin, the stand-out hunk of the series, who played brother Jesus for several seasons.  Next, Noah Centineo, who played brother Jesus in later seasons, and no doubt will be the one who visits.  

Third: Danny Nucci, the ex-husband of one of the mothers, who had lots of soap opera plotlines of his own.  He is not the father of either of the two sisters, so he might not be visiting.

Fourth: Louis Hunter, who played Mariana's "unstable boyfriend": he set a warehouse on fire, stole his father's gun, held Marianna hostage, and so on.  Definitely not visiting, but nice physique.

On to the Friends in Good Trouble:



1. Callie, "a recent graduate of UCSD Law School." She's clerking for a conservative judge, fighting for representation, and dating Jamie (a boy).

2. Mariana, "a software engineer."  She dates Raj Patel and then Evan Speck.  These people are vastly more elite than the struggling actor, masseuse, waitress, and caterer of the 1990s Friends.

3. Gael an aspiring artist, is bisexual.  He has an ex-boyfriend (#8, below), but only dates women during the series, including Callie and "aspiring actress" Isabel.

4. Malika, a "bartender and political activist."  But not of the queer rights sort.  She's straight, dating Isaac. 

5. Alice, the building manager, a lesbian who dates several women during the course of the series.  


6. Dennis (Josh Pence), an "aspiring musician" with "a shocking truth about his past."  The truth isn't about LGBTQ identities: he's straight, with an ex-wife, Jennifer, and a girlfriend, "body positive influencer" Davia.

7. Joaquin, who shows up in Season 4, looking for his missing sister.  He gets a crush on Mariana.










8.  The only gay Friend I could find is Bryan, Gael's ex boyfriend, recurring in Season 1. "Openly gay," according to the fan wiki.  "Openly" was previously used to guard yourself against defamation charges if the person was closeted.  Is it really necessary in 2022?  

9. There's also a closeted gay guy in Season 4, Tommy Sung, one of the law firm's clients, a high schooler on trial for murdering his best friend, and as it comes out, his boyfriend.  Callie's problem is whether to out him at the trial; if even one juror is homophobic, he'll be found guilty regardless of the evidence.

More representation than on the 1990s Friends, which had only guest appearances from Ross's lesbian ex-wife and Chandler's drag queen dad.  But still, I'd like to see some male same-sex relationships, where the partner isn't now dating women.  Or dead.

What's Wrong with the Term "Homosexual"? Other Than Being Extremely Offensive and Homophobic?

The English language didn’t have a word for people who are exclusively drawn to one sex or another until 1892, when the English translation of Richard Von Krafft-Ebing’s Psychopathia Sexualis appeared.  It divided human beings into two populations, the heterosexual and the homosexual, the one normal, natural, benign, the other contingent, abnormal, unnatural, purveyors of evil, victims of an insidious and destructive psychopathology.  Psychiatrists, criminologists, teachers, and journalists continued to talk about the dark, sinister “homosexual” psychopath for the next 70 years.

Meanwhile, in subcultures organized by people with exclusive same-sex desires and behaviors, the common term was “gay,” probably derived from prostitute slang of the 1890s.  We don’t know how early it was used, but at least by 1932, when Noel Coward wrote the song “Mad About the Boy”:  “He has a gay appeal that makes me feel there’s maybe something sad about the boy.”

Certainly by 1938, when, in the movie Bringing Up Baby, Cary Grant must answer the door in a lady’s nightgown, and he tells the startled caller, “I’ve just gone gay all of a sudden.”  The bisexual actor ad-libbed the line as an in-joke for his friends, assuming it would go over the  heads of the audience.

It was deliberately meant as a code term, used only by members of the subculture.  As late as the 1960s, you could say “I’m going to a gay party tonight,” and judge by the reaction of the listener if they got it or not.

Most outsiders preferred not to "name" same-sex desire at all -- it was much too sinister – but if they had no choice, they used the word “homosexual.”  The first gay rights organization, the Mattachine Society, used the word “homosexual,” reasoning that otherwise no one would know what they were talking about.

In 1969, the Gay Liberation Front, and the subsequent Gay Rights Movement, made two significant changes.  First, they believed that they were not psychotic, not abominations, not evil.   They chanted “Gay is just as good as straight."

Second, the word “homosexual” had to go.  It was old-fashioned and bigoted. It referred to a mental disorder.  Besides, it had to do with who you have sex with, and they were about so much more than that.  They were about living and working together, sharing a history and a destiny, being a community.  They were not homosexuals, skulking in the darkness, seeking out anonymous liaisons in t-rooms.  They were gay.

The term “gay” was not without detractors.  Many famous homophiles, such as Gore Vidal, Christopher Isherwood, and Truman Capote, said it was much too frivolous for a bona fide minority group.  Many people said that it was sexist, like using “men” to mean “all people,” ignoring the women.  It also assumed exclusive same-sex desire, behavior, and romance, whereas the community also included bisexuals and transgendered persons.  Eventually LGBT appeared an alternative, and then "queer."

Regardless, “homosexual” was gone, and would remain out of favor among gay people for the next 40 year.  In an Advocate poll in 2000, in answer to the question “What should we be called?”, 95% of respondents said gay or LGBT; 3% homosexual.

There are over 5000 gay or LGBT organizations in the United States, and no homosexual ones.

Barnes & Noble lists 3,389 books with “gay” in their titles and 305 with “homosexual,”  most written to argue that “homosexuals” are bad, evil, and psychotic after all: The Homosexual Neurosis, Hope and Healing for the Homosexual, The Homosexual Agenda.

The Gay Rights Movement had a good precedent for a society-wide name change. In 1965, the Civil Rights Movement objected to the term “Negro,” then used by government agencies, journalists, and on the streets.  Negro was old-fashioned and bigoted.  They chanted “Black is Beautiful!”  They wanted to be called Black.

Mass media changed instantly.  Within 2 years, no one was saying “Negro” except for the incredibly old-fashioned and the bigoted.  In Julia, in 1966, the titular character is on the telephone, & identifies herself as “a Negro.”  The white man she is talking to, not wanting to appear bigoted, pretends that he has no idea what she means, forcing her to use the new term “Black.”

But “homosexual” didn’t change easily. Even though gay people yelled, picketed, conducted sit-ins, and so on, it took until 1985 for the New York Times to agree to substitute gay for homosexual.  In 1976, in the Doonesbury comic strip, Joannie’s law school classmate says “I’m gay,” and she doesn’t understand.

The American Psychiatric Association removed gay people from their list of dangerous psychotics in 1973, but refused to call them “gay” until 1997.  About 20% of scholarly articles today still have “homosexual” rather than “gay” in their titles.  In newspapers and magazines, “gay” tends to win out in titles, but in the articles “homosexual” sometimes pops in as if it an exact synonym.  

In homophobic texts, of course, it's "homosexual" all the way.

Need more convincing?

Movies in 1982-83: Dustin Hoffman in Drag, Rob Lowe in Drag, Two Mighty-Thewed Barbarians, a Gay Murderer, and Tom Cruise

 


1982-83 was my first year in grad school at Indiana University.  Moving from a college with 2,000 students to a R1 Research University with 40,000, I went crazy.  Who cared that I was supposed to be working toward a degree in English?  Let's sign up for Mandarin Chinese, Arabic, Russian Folklore, and East Asian Anthropology.  

I was finally old enough to go to bars, so I was at Bullwinkle's in downtown Bloomington two or three times a week, hooking up in earnest ( I was heavily closeted at Eigenmann Hall, so I littered my room with Playboy and Hustler magazines and pretended that last-night's hookup was with a girl).  When you have a choice of going to a movie or hooking up, which takes precedence?  Still, there were two theaters in walking distance,so I managed to go 13 times.  In retrospect, most of the movies were dreadful.


August:
The Beastmaster.  Wouldn't you?  Conan knockoff Mark Singer has a whole coterie of helpers, including a post-Good Times John Amos, a little boy, the Girl, and two ferrets who are good at biting through ropes.

August: Querelle: "Each man kills the thing he loves."  An adaption of the novel by Jean Genet, promoting the myth that being gay (actually bisexual) disrupts your morality so severely that you are compelled to become a thief and a murderer, and betray everyone who loves you.  But it was a real gay-themed movie with real gay-themed sex scenes, and Brad Davis (top photo) was cute. I was too closeted to see it in Bloomington, so I drove into Indianapolis.

September: Endangered Species. Indiana University was similar to Augustana College in one way: ever to mention even a passing interested in science fiction or fantasy marked you as an infantile, boorish Philistine.  So I had to sneak around to see both gay-themed and science fiction-themed movies.  This one wasn't worth it: Robert Ulrich of Vegas and The Girl investigate cattle mutilations.

October: Android.  This one wasn't, either.  Klaus Kinski and The Girl fight androids in deep space.  I didn't go to another science fiction/fantasy movie until I was back in Rock Island for the summer.

November: Creepshow.  A horror anthology meant to reflect the experience of reading those old EC horror comics, like Tales from the Crypt.  Five stories, mostly about about transgressors who get an ironic comeuppance.  The only one I remember stars Adrienne Barbeau as the abusive wife of milksop college professor Hal Holbrook.

December: The Year of Living Dangerously.  "You're in graduate school.  It's time to leave juvenile science fiction trash behind, and go to serious, artsy movies."  Mel Gibson and The Girl live through the Indonesian Revolution of 1965 and, like, think deep thoughts and stuff.  Notable for Linda Hunt playing Chinese-Australian photographer and voyeur Billy Kwan.  A woman playing a man was shocking at the time.

December: Tootsie: although men playing women was not a problem.  Tired of all of the discrimination men face in Hollywood, Dustin Hoffman becomes Dorothy, aka Tootsie, gets a cushy soap opera job, and teaches the women how to fight back against sexual harassment.  A guy falls in love with him (as Tootsie), and he falls in love with the Girl, so of course he has to come out as a man. The Girl is ok with lesbians, but the guy..."The only reason you're alive is that I never kissed you."  Intense homophobia presented as matter-of-fact.

January: None

February: None.


March:
Spring Break.  The poster shows guys climbing a "mountain" that turns out to be a girl in a bikini.  The plot is about a guy falling in love with The Girl and saving his beloved spring break motel from his evil politician Dad.  So why did I go?  

I don't remember.  Maybe I thought there would be some beefcake amid the wet t-shirt and mud-wrestling contests.

April: Liquid Sky: a weird, artsy, surreal, postmodern movie about drugs, murder, reality mediated through film, and maybe aliens.  

April: Loosin' It: four guys in the 1960s including then-unknown Tom Cruise, trying to have sex with girls, including then-unknown Shelly Long .  It tries to key into the 1950s nostalgia craze, the "Smokey and the Bandits" Southern sheriff craze, and the teen sex comedy craze, all at the same time.  Again, I don't remember why I saw it: maybe looking for beefcake?  

May: Return of the Jedi.  The one with the teddy bears.  And Darth Vader's death.

June: Wargames. Matthew Broderick and The Girl think that they're playing one of those newfangled video games, but actually they're starting a nuclear war.  I saw this because I could go to science fiction movies again, and because of Matthew Broderick, the beefcake bonanza of the 1980s.

June: Twilight Zone: The Movie. An anthology remaking episodes of the classic ironic-horror series, which I had not yet seen. An anti-Semitic guy zaps into the Holocaust; elderly people get zapped into kids; a boy who can zap anything into anything has a bad temper; a man sees a gremlin on the wing of his airplane. No gay content.


July
: Class: College boy Andrew McCarthy falls in love with roommate Rob Lowe, and accidentally sleeps with his mother. Strong gay subtext.  For an added bonus, in the first scene, Andrew catches Rob wearing ladies' underwear, and assumes that he's...you know, before he explains that it's a prank.


July: Krull: another Conan the Barbarian ripoff, featuring another of Robert E. Howard's characters (he did write other things, you know).  Except this Conan, Ken Marshall, is not exactly mighty-thewed, and doesn't bare his chest (there are beefcake photos online, but after the first 6 warned that I couldn't "download them safely," I gave up.)




Jul 31, 2022

New Index: Movies by Year

 


I had no idea that I had completed so many "movies by year" articles: 16 so far, ranging from 1978, when I went to my first movies, to 2001, when DVDs took over.  There's a new index, "Movies by Year," to keep track of them.

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